THE GOOD AND THE NOT-SO-GOOD UPDATE
"So Eleanor - tell us whether you submitted your revised and almost completely re-written play, "Old Soldiers" to the BBC International Playwriting Competition."
Missed the deadline for BBC International Playwriting Competition. It's so demoralizing. In spite of all my good intentions, that's as far as it got: good intentions. It couldn't be done - at least in time for this year. So what else is new but there's always next year. Even if nothing else, I'll have another play to submit.
It's not that the story line is weak but it requires a complete 're-think-through' and revisions that can't be made quickly. For example, in the re-write the opening has been changed to a bar (or pub) whereas in the short story, it was in Joe McKenna's apartment where he was alone with his thoughts and the occasional out-loud comment. It could work on stage but IMHO, not for radio.
Also added characters, Joe's friends and veterans, who meet at a bar/pub to toast another fallen old soldier - hence the name of the play. It's important to know why Joe et all feel the way they do. They are relics from another era who are suffering the ravages of old age. They are alone and in spite of their bickering, depend on each other for social inter-action and solace. Their medications require monetary output that they can't afford and their quality of life is limited.
Debating whether to introduce the character of Joe's landlady who does not presently exist and if so, whether or not she should be sympathetic or quite simply, mean. Also toying with the idea of adding a young boy or girl into the mix when Joe is in the park attending ceremonies. As they say: out of the mouths of babes, comes the real truth and clarity.
As stated - story is still in the revision/thinking things over, stage.
Meanwhile, went on the BBC site and read over a page focusing on writing a radio script, and another piece on hints for radio. Very helpful. Will print up the pages and keep them handy.
"Any good news to share with us, perhaps?"
Passed along my comedy play, "A Wedding!" to an aquaintance/actor/etc. for C&C and received a positive feedback. This was the first play I wrote and a personal favorite, although "Gin..." is funnier, again IMHO. This lifted my spirits although he suggested that I cut 10 pages.
Cut 10 pages??? Is that all???
This would mean I would have to consider yet another umpteenth re-write and I'm really not sure if I'm prepared to make a drastic change of this nature, at least not at this point. I'll think about it. Any positive feedback is an incentive to hang in but it gets harder. Perhaps the plays just aren't stage-worthy...then again, perhaps they are! Go know!
Meanwhile in order to keep my brain in a dialogue frame of mind, I'm going to start writing some more short pieces focusing on the adventures of Barbie and Ken and friends, and more scenes from life: a short playette. The latter are fun to write.
This best sums it all up: "If I write a new play, my point of view may be profoundly modified. I may be obliged to contradict myself and I may no longer know whether I still think what I think."
EUGENE IONESCO, Notes and Counter Notes
Monday, April 04, 2011
Friday, March 04, 2011
SCENES FROM LIFE: A SHORT PLAYETTE
AT THE HAIRDRESSER: PART 2
SCENE: SMALL HAIR STYLING SALON WITH THREE STYLISTS. FEMALE CLIENT ENTERS SALON
CLIENT
Hi all!
HAIR STYLIST (PEGGY)
You’re early. My 12:30 that was supposed to be here before you is late, but that’s okay. I’ll dye your hair, meanwhile
CLIENT
Cold! I’m frozen. Now I know what a popsicle feels like
PEGGY
You walked here?
CLIENT
Can you tell? I’m wearing a hat, which I absolutely hate, tights under pants, a heavy sweater and a scarf. To top it off, my fingers were so cold and I hadda go buy a cheapie pair of gloves to put inside these old gloves that are finished. My hands feel like the Incredible Hulk. My cheeks burn...
PEGGY
(distracted...looking out of salon front window on to the parking lot)
...what’s going on there?
CLIENT
Oh nothing much. Somebody drove their car into the snow bank. As I was saying, it’s really freezing...
PEGGY
OhmyGawd! I see the car. Wow!
CLIENT
Moving right along... Yup – there are big chunks of the front fender everywhere. Gonna cost big bucks for sure
(PEGGY places plastic cape around client’s shoulders, still staring out of window)
PEGGY
How’d that happen?
CLIENT
Hard to tell. To me, it looks like she was trying to avoid hitting a car that was entering the parking lot and had to swerve...
(a male client enters and sits in chair. STAVROS, men’s stylist, puts cape around him)
MALE CLIENT
Big accident...big...
STAVROS
Uh-huh. Gonna cost a lot to fix that baby
MALE CLIENT
Woman driver of course
(the two men laugh/cackle)
CLIENT
Actually, I saw another car involved and I think it’s a male driver
STAVROS
Yeah but the female probably caused it
(STAVROS and male client laugh)
PEGGY
(straining to see out of the window from her position, standing on tip-toe)
Hey – maybe that’s my customer and that’s why she’s late! Did you get a look at the driver of the car?
CLIENT
Couldn’t miss her. She was pacing back and forth, talking to some people about the accident.
PEGGY
What she look like? Did she have blond streaked hair?
CLIENT
I think so...yeah...she did
PEGGY
I bet that’s her!
CLIENT
Is your client slim? The woman is slim
PEGGY
No...she’s kind’a plump. I’m sure that has’ta be her! Mary – go out and check to see if it’s her!
(MARY, another stylist, is sitting in her chair reading a magazine)
MARY
I’m busy here and besides, it’s too cold
PEGGY
But it could be my customer. It’s gonna screw up all my appointments for tomorrow if it’s her
CLIENT
Yeah Mary – go see if it’s her and if so, tell her she's late and Peggy is waiting for her
PEGGY
Wait a minute – didn’t you say the woman driver was slim?
CLIENT
Uh-huh
PEGGY
Then it’s not her so where is my 12:30?
MALE CLIENT
The driver must’a missed the exit and drove into the snow bank. It’s an older Mercedes and those parts are expensive. Wait ‘til her husband finds out
(MALE CLIENT AND STAVROS LAUGH/CACKLE)
PEGGY
(returns from mixing color in back room. Stares out of window while stirring dye in bowl)
Hmmm...still, maybe my client lost weight and it’s her...
STAVROS
Gonna be tricky to tow the car outta the snow bank.
MALE CLIENT
Yeah but from what I saw, the whole front end of the car is finit-o anyway
PEGGY
Poor lady...
CLIENT
Um...Peggy? We put the dye on my hair, not on my forehead?
PEGGY
Oh...sorry...so busy checking the accident... I mean, what do I say if it’s her? ‘Too bad about your car?’
MARY
I doubt whether she’d keep the appointment, anyway
PEGGY
Probably not under the circumstances. Maybe I should go out and – you know – offer her a coffee or something
MARY
You don’t even know who that is! Anyway, you just wanna know how it happened
PEGGY
Well I would know if you’d go out and check...!
MARY
Alright already! I’ll go but if I catch pneumonia...
(to be continued...)
AT THE HAIRDRESSER: PART 2
SCENE: SMALL HAIR STYLING SALON WITH THREE STYLISTS. FEMALE CLIENT ENTERS SALON
CLIENT
Hi all!
HAIR STYLIST (PEGGY)
You’re early. My 12:30 that was supposed to be here before you is late, but that’s okay. I’ll dye your hair, meanwhile
CLIENT
Cold! I’m frozen. Now I know what a popsicle feels like
PEGGY
You walked here?
CLIENT
Can you tell? I’m wearing a hat, which I absolutely hate, tights under pants, a heavy sweater and a scarf. To top it off, my fingers were so cold and I hadda go buy a cheapie pair of gloves to put inside these old gloves that are finished. My hands feel like the Incredible Hulk. My cheeks burn...
PEGGY
(distracted...looking out of salon front window on to the parking lot)
...what’s going on there?
CLIENT
Oh nothing much. Somebody drove their car into the snow bank. As I was saying, it’s really freezing...
PEGGY
OhmyGawd! I see the car. Wow!
CLIENT
Moving right along... Yup – there are big chunks of the front fender everywhere. Gonna cost big bucks for sure
(PEGGY places plastic cape around client’s shoulders, still staring out of window)
PEGGY
How’d that happen?
CLIENT
Hard to tell. To me, it looks like she was trying to avoid hitting a car that was entering the parking lot and had to swerve...
(a male client enters and sits in chair. STAVROS, men’s stylist, puts cape around him)
MALE CLIENT
Big accident...big...
STAVROS
Uh-huh. Gonna cost a lot to fix that baby
MALE CLIENT
Woman driver of course
(the two men laugh/cackle)
CLIENT
Actually, I saw another car involved and I think it’s a male driver
STAVROS
Yeah but the female probably caused it
(STAVROS and male client laugh)
PEGGY
(straining to see out of the window from her position, standing on tip-toe)
Hey – maybe that’s my customer and that’s why she’s late! Did you get a look at the driver of the car?
CLIENT
Couldn’t miss her. She was pacing back and forth, talking to some people about the accident.
PEGGY
What she look like? Did she have blond streaked hair?
CLIENT
I think so...yeah...she did
PEGGY
I bet that’s her!
CLIENT
Is your client slim? The woman is slim
PEGGY
No...she’s kind’a plump. I’m sure that has’ta be her! Mary – go out and check to see if it’s her!
(MARY, another stylist, is sitting in her chair reading a magazine)
MARY
I’m busy here and besides, it’s too cold
PEGGY
But it could be my customer. It’s gonna screw up all my appointments for tomorrow if it’s her
CLIENT
Yeah Mary – go see if it’s her and if so, tell her she's late and Peggy is waiting for her
PEGGY
Wait a minute – didn’t you say the woman driver was slim?
CLIENT
Uh-huh
PEGGY
Then it’s not her so where is my 12:30?
MALE CLIENT
The driver must’a missed the exit and drove into the snow bank. It’s an older Mercedes and those parts are expensive. Wait ‘til her husband finds out
(MALE CLIENT AND STAVROS LAUGH/CACKLE)
PEGGY
(returns from mixing color in back room. Stares out of window while stirring dye in bowl)
Hmmm...still, maybe my client lost weight and it’s her...
STAVROS
Gonna be tricky to tow the car outta the snow bank.
MALE CLIENT
Yeah but from what I saw, the whole front end of the car is finit-o anyway
PEGGY
Poor lady...
CLIENT
Um...Peggy? We put the dye on my hair, not on my forehead?
PEGGY
Oh...sorry...so busy checking the accident... I mean, what do I say if it’s her? ‘Too bad about your car?’
MARY
I doubt whether she’d keep the appointment, anyway
PEGGY
Probably not under the circumstances. Maybe I should go out and – you know – offer her a coffee or something
MARY
You don’t even know who that is! Anyway, you just wanna know how it happened
PEGGY
Well I would know if you’d go out and check...!
MARY
Alright already! I’ll go but if I catch pneumonia...
(to be continued...)
Friday, February 18, 2011
OLD SOLDIERS - THE PLAY
As mentioned in a previous blog, working on converting my short story, "Old Soldiers", into a play for submission to the BBC International Radio Playwriting Competition. To this end, I've completed approx. a dozen pages so far, with merely a month or so to go. Whether or not I can finish in time remains uncertain but even if I don't complete it this year, plan to submit it next time round. Obviously, I have to make modifications and change the story line somewhat given that the play should be 70 pages. I really do like what I've written so far.
Sound effects are minimal, at least at this point, but the story line calls for more later on. Meanwhile, here is a sample of the play so far. Comments welcome.
Note the play is not formatted for stage.OLD SOLDIERS
By Eleanor Tylbor
SCENE: A pub/bar.
SFX: Soft rock background music plays in the background, sound of people talking; sound of clinking glasses
JOE MCKENNA
Yup…yup…yup…one less of us. The way things are going, won’t be long before we’re all gone. ‘Over here, Mac!’ The man can hardly walk, even with a walker
MIKE
He's 87 for Christ's sake! We all ain’t peppy anymore in case you haven’t noticed. My glass is empty
JOE MCKENNA
Yeah and? I bought the last round
MIKE
Not! Well?
JOE MCKENNA
Well - what?
MIKE
It’s your damn turn to buy! Open up your pockets and free the moths
MAC
(gasping, breathing heavily)
Really... windy... out there – and cold. Hope it’s not...like this tomorrow
SFX: blows nose
MIKE
We don’t get to choose the kind of weather t’get buried. Anyway, it’s November.
JOE
Whad’ya having, Mac?
MIKE
You’re buying him a drink? What about me?
JOE
He just got here. You been sponging off me for an hour
MIKE
Say what? You got that backwards!
MAC
I don’t need no handout. I can afford t’buy my own drink, thank you very much.
JOE
Whatever…
MIKE
You should’a taken him up on that. The man’s a cheap bastard
MAC
(aside to bartender)
‘The usual!’ My body feels like one gigantic pain
JOE
Just a few of us old farts left, now.
SFX: GLASSES BEING PLACED ON BAR
BARTENDER
So who’s paying?
(five seconds of silence)
MIKE
He is!
MAC
I’ll pay for all of us if it means avoiding another fight. Drink up guys!
JOE
‘To all the fallen heroes – especially Percy – wherever you are!’ I cut his obit out’ta the paper t’keep as a souvenir
MIKE
Another obit for your wallet? Must be full by now
JOE
It’s easy to fill these days what with medical bills and all, but not with money.
MIKE
Don’t I know it
MAC
I wanted to keep the obit, too, but I don’t get the paper every day, anymore
JOE
I’ll save mine for you when I finish. A person should keep up with what’s going on in the world
MAC
What the hell for? I don’t need’a read about murders and people dying in the street. Ignorance is bliss
MIKE
Did it say whether Percy had any kids? Don’t recall him mentioning anything
JOE
(reading out loud)
‘….Percy Albertson, son of….blah-blah-blah… Daughter Fiona…’ He had a daughter? Don’t remember him mentioning any
MAC
Maybe he wasn’t speaking to her. Families are too busy these days to visit the old folk
JOE
Says the funeral’s tomorrow afternoon at 2 o’clock. Good – that gives me enough time
MIKE
To do what? Watch your TV programs?
JOE
Got plans t’make
MAC
Like?
JOE
Plans…that’s all. I don’t hav’ta tell you everything
MIKE
You never share anything even though we tell you our personal stuff. Shoot - didn’t find out you were married ‘til three months later. You are one secretive weirdo
JOE
They’ll bury him with full military honors for sure, flag and all. Big, bloody, deal. He needed help when he was alive
MIKE
There you go changing the subject on us, again. Hey look – the old jukebox is working again.
SFX: sound of coins on table
Anybody got five bucks to play a song?
JOE
Say what? The jukebox takes $5 a shot, now? I’ll listen to my old 45’s
MIKE
Never mind – I found a five dollar bill
JOE
Wa’cha gonna play, anyway
MIKE
You gotta pay if you wanna know what I’m gonna play. The good old days weren’t so good, anyway
JOE
I can wait to hear
MIKE
I’ll be back
MAC
This weather don’t do my back any good. I have trouble walking today
JOE
What about those new pills they you last month?
MAC
Pills can’t re-build an old, worn-out body and that’s what I need. A new body
JOE
Don’t we all. What time is it, anyway?
MAC
Four o’clock. Anybody hear from Al? He was supposed meet us here an hour ago
JOE
He left a message on my answering machine last week to say he’d be joining us.
MAC
It’s getting dark. Don’t like it out when it gets dark. Not safe for old people
MIKE
Maybe we should call him and see if he’s on his way? I mean, he hasn’t been well lately
MAC
Do you have his phone number?
JOE
He never gave it to me
MAC
Come to think of it, I don’t have it
MAC
Mike’s coming back. Where’s the music? Jukebox not working
MIKE
Neh! They don’t have my stuff. Only that crap they play on the radio these days you know – Lady Goo-Goo…whoever. So where’s Al?
MAC
Damned if I know. Who was supposed to call and remind him?
(silence)
JOE
Just great. The guy supposed to meet us here and nobody bothers calling to remind him. Good friends he has
MIKE
Do you have his number, big shot?
JOE
No but I assumed one of youze has it written down, somewhere
MAC
What about a cell phone?
MIKE
Doesn’t own one. He never much liked modern technology. To tell you the truth, neither do I
JOE
So how we supposed to remind him that we’re all here and he’s supposed to meet us? Send a messenger?
MIKE
He could still show up
MAC
I said…I have one
JOE
One what? What are you babbling about?
MAC
I have…a cell phone
MIKE
What in God’s name do you need a cell phone? All your friends are dead
We don’t get to choose the kind of weather t’get buried. Anyway, it’s November.
JOE
Whad’ya having, Mac?
MIKE
You’re buying him a drink? What about me?
JOE
He just got here. You been sponging off me for an hour
MIKE
Say what? You got that backwards!
MAC
I don’t need no handout. I can afford t’buy my own drink, thank you very much.
JOE
Whatever…
MIKE
You should’a taken him up on that. The man’s a cheap bastard
MAC
(aside to bartender)
‘The usual!’ My body feels like one gigantic pain
JOE
Just a few of us old farts left, now.
SFX: GLASSES BEING PLACED ON BAR
BARTENDER
So who’s paying?
(five seconds of silence)
MIKE
He is!
MAC
I’ll pay for all of us if it means avoiding another fight. Drink up guys!
JOE
‘To all the fallen heroes – especially Percy – wherever you are!’ I cut his obit out’ta the paper t’keep as a souvenir
MIKE
Another obit for your wallet? Must be full by now
JOE
It’s easy to fill these days what with medical bills and all, but not with money.
MIKE
Don’t I know it
MAC
I wanted to keep the obit, too, but I don’t get the paper every day, anymore
JOE
I’ll save mine for you when I finish. A person should keep up with what’s going on in the world
MAC
What the hell for? I don’t need’a read about murders and people dying in the street. Ignorance is bliss
MIKE
Did it say whether Percy had any kids? Don’t recall him mentioning anything
JOE
(reading out loud)
‘….Percy Albertson, son of….blah-blah-blah… Daughter Fiona…’ He had a daughter? Don’t remember him mentioning any
MAC
Maybe he wasn’t speaking to her. Families are too busy these days to visit the old folk
JOE
Says the funeral’s tomorrow afternoon at 2 o’clock. Good – that gives me enough time
MIKE
To do what? Watch your TV programs?
JOE
Got plans t’make
MAC
Like?
JOE
Plans…that’s all. I don’t hav’ta tell you everything
MIKE
You never share anything even though we tell you our personal stuff. Shoot - didn’t find out you were married ‘til three months later. You are one secretive weirdo
JOE
They’ll bury him with full military honors for sure, flag and all. Big, bloody, deal. He needed help when he was alive
MIKE
There you go changing the subject on us, again. Hey look – the old jukebox is working again.
SFX: sound of coins on table
Anybody got five bucks to play a song?
JOE
Say what? The jukebox takes $5 a shot, now? I’ll listen to my old 45’s
MIKE
Never mind – I found a five dollar bill
JOE
Wa’cha gonna play, anyway
MIKE
You gotta pay if you wanna know what I’m gonna play. The good old days weren’t so good, anyway
JOE
I can wait to hear
MIKE
I’ll be back
MAC
This weather don’t do my back any good. I have trouble walking today
JOE
What about those new pills they you last month?
MAC
Pills can’t re-build an old, worn-out body and that’s what I need. A new body
JOE
Don’t we all. What time is it, anyway?
MAC
Four o’clock. Anybody hear from Al? He was supposed meet us here an hour ago
JOE
He left a message on my answering machine last week to say he’d be joining us.
MAC
It’s getting dark. Don’t like it out when it gets dark. Not safe for old people
MIKE
Maybe we should call him and see if he’s on his way? I mean, he hasn’t been well lately
MAC
Do you have his phone number?
JOE
He never gave it to me
MAC
Come to think of it, I don’t have it
MAC
Mike’s coming back. Where’s the music? Jukebox not working
MIKE
Neh! They don’t have my stuff. Only that crap they play on the radio these days you know – Lady Goo-Goo…whoever. So where’s Al?
MAC
Damned if I know. Who was supposed to call and remind him?
(silence)
JOE
Just great. The guy supposed to meet us here and nobody bothers calling to remind him. Good friends he has
MIKE
Do you have his number, big shot?
JOE
No but I assumed one of youze has it written down, somewhere
MAC
What about a cell phone?
MIKE
Doesn’t own one. He never much liked modern technology. To tell you the truth, neither do I
JOE
So how we supposed to remind him that we’re all here and he’s supposed to meet us? Send a messenger?
MIKE
He could still show up
MAC
I said…I have one
JOE
One what? What are you babbling about?
MAC
I have…a cell phone
MIKE
What in God’s name do you need a cell phone? All your friends are dead
Monday, February 07, 2011
SCENES FROM REAL LIFE
A SHORT PLAYETTE: THE COFFEE CUP
SCENE: WELL-KNOWN COFFEE SHOP/CHAIN. MAN RETURNS WITH TWO MUGS, ONE FILLED WITH COFFEE AND THE OTHER WITH BOILED WATER FOR TEA
MAN
(placing mug on table)
Here's your boiled water
(woman peers into cup and stares for 5 seconds)
MAN
Aren't you going to drop in your teabag? The water's gonna get cold and you know how you are about water being boiling hot
WOMAN
I have a problem here
MAN
Now what? The water's luke warm, I suppose?
WOMAN
Nope. The water is dirty
MAN
You're kidding! Dirty as in...
WOMAN
Look inside. There are black thingies floating around
(man lifts mug and peers inside)
WOMAN
...and the rim of the mug is dirty. What do they use to wash their dishes? A cat's tongue?
MAN
You're right - there are thingies floating around. You go bring it to their attention. It's your water
(there is a small line-up of people waiting to be served. Woman waits at end of line holding mug of water. Female/customer in front turns around looks at mug and then at woman)
WOMAN
Dirty water. Horrible
CUSTOMER
Oh.. That's too bad...
WOMAN
Yes it it and look - thingies floating inside
CUSTOMER
(peering into mug)
Yup - I see them, too. Look - why don't you move in front of me. You should be first since you were already served
WOMAN
Thank you. That's very considerate. It's just so...blechy to get a dirty mug.
CUSTOMER
Why don't you ask them for a paper cup, instead?
WOMAN
That's okay for coffee but for tea, one must have a china mug
CUSTOMER
It's your turn now... give him hell!
WOMAN
(to person serving coffee)
This water has thingies floating around in it and the mug is dirty. Check it for yourself.
CUSTOMER
She's right, y'know. Check it out! Really - you guys should make a better effort to wash your cups better
(SERVER TAKES MUG FROM WOMAN, LOOKS INSIDE, THROWS HER A DIRTY LOOK, EMPTIES WATER AND RE-FILLS MUG. WOMAN TAKES IT FROM SERVER AND CHECKS WATER AND MUG)
WOMAN
This looks okay but I'll have to take it back and look under the light
SERVER
Dishwasher is broken
WOMAN
Then don't use china mugs! I mean, really... If you had told me in advance, I would have settled for coffee today and used a paper cup
SERVER
Of course. You're right. The customer is always right. I should have known better... Your mug of water is clear now and there are a lot of people waiting to be served
WOMAN
(turning to people in line)
'Their dishwasher is broken! Stick to paper cups!'
WOMAN
(aside to server)
Have a great day. Tea in paper cups - what next...
SCENE: WELL-KNOWN COFFEE SHOP/CHAIN. MAN RETURNS WITH TWO MUGS, ONE FILLED WITH COFFEE AND THE OTHER WITH BOILED WATER FOR TEA
MAN
(placing mug on table)
Here's your boiled water
(woman peers into cup and stares for 5 seconds)
MAN
Aren't you going to drop in your teabag? The water's gonna get cold and you know how you are about water being boiling hot
WOMAN
I have a problem here
MAN
Now what? The water's luke warm, I suppose?
WOMAN
Nope. The water is dirty
MAN
You're kidding! Dirty as in...
WOMAN
Look inside. There are black thingies floating around
(man lifts mug and peers inside)
WOMAN
...and the rim of the mug is dirty. What do they use to wash their dishes? A cat's tongue?
MAN
You're right - there are thingies floating around. You go bring it to their attention. It's your water
(there is a small line-up of people waiting to be served. Woman waits at end of line holding mug of water. Female/customer in front turns around looks at mug and then at woman)
WOMAN
Dirty water. Horrible
CUSTOMER
Oh.. That's too bad...
WOMAN
Yes it it and look - thingies floating inside
CUSTOMER
(peering into mug)
Yup - I see them, too. Look - why don't you move in front of me. You should be first since you were already served
WOMAN
Thank you. That's very considerate. It's just so...blechy to get a dirty mug.
CUSTOMER
Why don't you ask them for a paper cup, instead?
WOMAN
That's okay for coffee but for tea, one must have a china mug
CUSTOMER
It's your turn now... give him hell!
WOMAN
(to person serving coffee)
This water has thingies floating around in it and the mug is dirty. Check it for yourself.
CUSTOMER
She's right, y'know. Check it out! Really - you guys should make a better effort to wash your cups better
(SERVER TAKES MUG FROM WOMAN, LOOKS INSIDE, THROWS HER A DIRTY LOOK, EMPTIES WATER AND RE-FILLS MUG. WOMAN TAKES IT FROM SERVER AND CHECKS WATER AND MUG)
WOMAN
This looks okay but I'll have to take it back and look under the light
SERVER
Dishwasher is broken
WOMAN
Then don't use china mugs! I mean, really... If you had told me in advance, I would have settled for coffee today and used a paper cup
SERVER
Of course. You're right. The customer is always right. I should have known better... Your mug of water is clear now and there are a lot of people waiting to be served
WOMAN
(turning to people in line)
'Their dishwasher is broken! Stick to paper cups!'
WOMAN
(aside to server)
Have a great day. Tea in paper cups - what next...
Thursday, February 03, 2011
Really - I am pathetic. As explained and shared in this blog, I'm sort-of disorganized when it comes to sending out my plays. Instead of keeping track of who, when and where the plays end up, I rely on their response to guide me.
Today, for example, I received a "Dear Playwright" letter - actually it was a "Greetings Playwright!" e-mail to be exact. It was a relatively nice "thanks-but-no-thanks" if these things can be classified as nice. There was a list of playwrights whose works were being performed and mine wasn't among them. Thing is - I don't remember whether I submitted something to them or not! I suppose I could send them a letter...something to the effect:
"Dear Blah-Blah,
Thank you for your e-mail and for providing me with a list of the lucky playwrights even though my name is missing, and adding some nice words and phrases to make the non-winners feel better. I've been somewhat busy of late and I'm wondering if you might be so kind as to provide me with the title of the play I did and/or could-have and/or might-have sent you. It's for my records you understand and I wouldn't want to keep submitting the same play(s) to you year after year. Wishing you a successful season, which would have been more successful had my play been selected."
Maybe one day I'll get my act together. Oh my -I made a pun!
Today, for example, I received a "Dear Playwright" letter - actually it was a "Greetings Playwright!" e-mail to be exact. It was a relatively nice "thanks-but-no-thanks" if these things can be classified as nice. There was a list of playwrights whose works were being performed and mine wasn't among them. Thing is - I don't remember whether I submitted something to them or not! I suppose I could send them a letter...something to the effect:
"Dear Blah-Blah,
Thank you for your e-mail and for providing me with a list of the lucky playwrights even though my name is missing, and adding some nice words and phrases to make the non-winners feel better. I've been somewhat busy of late and I'm wondering if you might be so kind as to provide me with the title of the play I did and/or could-have and/or might-have sent you. It's for my records you understand and I wouldn't want to keep submitting the same play(s) to you year after year. Wishing you a successful season, which would have been more successful had my play been selected."
Maybe one day I'll get my act together. Oh my -I made a pun!
Friday, January 28, 2011
SCENES FROM REAL LIFE
A SHORT PLAYETTE: "LOTTERY TICKET"
SCENE: CUSTOMER ENTERS SMALL CONVENIENCE STORE
CUSTOMER
(looking around at shelves)
Hmmmm...
(CONVENIENCE STORE OWNER LOOKS UP FROM READING HIS NEWSPAPER FOR A SPLIT SECOND AND CONTINUES READING)
CUSTOMER
Uh-huh....hmmmmmm...
STORE OWNER
Can I help?
CUSTOMER
I'm not sure...I don't see what I'm looking for
STORE OWNER
What is it that you're looking for?
CUSTOMER
Potato chips
STORE OWNER
(glancing over to the chip display)
We have lots of chips - good flavors, too!
CUSTOMER
Yes but...
STORE OWNER
...but?
CUSTOMER
You don't appear to have my flavor
STORE OWNER
And your flavor would be...?
CUSTOMER
Dill pickle with chives
STORE OWNER
Are you sure? We have a good variety...
CUSTOMER
- but no dill pickle with chives, though
STORE OWNER
You're the first person who has ever asked for that flavor
CUSTOMER
But maybe not the last! You should check into it
STORE OWNER
Perhaps...maybe try another flavor this time?
CUSTOMER
Neh! Gotta be -
STORE OWNER
- I know - dill pickle and chives. What about smoky bacon? That's popular with everyone
CUSTOMER
Neh...
STORE OWNER
Okay...I'll check into it for you
CUSTOMER
(approaching counter)
I'd like a lottery ticket
STORE OWNER
That I have. Which one?
CUSTOMER
The one that has a $50 million dollar jackpot
STORE OWNER
Uh-huh - everyone is buying them like crazy, today
CUSTOMER
Why should I be different? Now the big question is should I allow the computer to choose the numbers or should I pick them...
STORE OWNER
Why not buy two - let the computer choose one set of numbers and you choose the other
CUSTOMER
I suppose I could do that... Actually and between you and me - I don't trust the computer. I think they fix it so that certain areas have winners
STORE OWNER
Well this store ain't one of them!
CUSTOMER
(anxious)
You mean...you've never had a winner, here?
STORE OWNER
(quick to respond)
Of course we have. Not a major winner but winners - lots and lots of winners
CUSTOMER
Good. Then give me five
STORE OWNER
You trusting the computer?
CUSTOMER
Yup. Too lazy to fill in the numbers besides they've never come in.
STORE OWNER
But they could one day and you... I mean, of course, that's a good idea
(he presses the computer buttons and pulls out the strip of paper with numbers)
Good luck, lady! If you win - I win, too!
CUSTOMER
Don't hold your breath...there goes another ten buckeroonies. By the way, don't forget to ask about the dill pickle and chives
STORE OWNER
Of course. You never know who will want this flavor that I never heard of
CUSTOMER
Live and learn, I always say
(customer exits)
A SHORT PLAYETTE: "LOTTERY TICKET"
SCENE: CUSTOMER ENTERS SMALL CONVENIENCE STORE
CUSTOMER
(looking around at shelves)
Hmmmm...
(CONVENIENCE STORE OWNER LOOKS UP FROM READING HIS NEWSPAPER FOR A SPLIT SECOND AND CONTINUES READING)
CUSTOMER
Uh-huh....hmmmmmm...
STORE OWNER
Can I help?
CUSTOMER
I'm not sure...I don't see what I'm looking for
STORE OWNER
What is it that you're looking for?
CUSTOMER
Potato chips
STORE OWNER
(glancing over to the chip display)
We have lots of chips - good flavors, too!
CUSTOMER
Yes but...
STORE OWNER
...but?
CUSTOMER
You don't appear to have my flavor
STORE OWNER
And your flavor would be...?
CUSTOMER
Dill pickle with chives
STORE OWNER
Are you sure? We have a good variety...
CUSTOMER
- but no dill pickle with chives, though
STORE OWNER
You're the first person who has ever asked for that flavor
CUSTOMER
But maybe not the last! You should check into it
STORE OWNER
Perhaps...maybe try another flavor this time?
CUSTOMER
Neh! Gotta be -
STORE OWNER
- I know - dill pickle and chives. What about smoky bacon? That's popular with everyone
CUSTOMER
Neh...
STORE OWNER
Okay...I'll check into it for you
CUSTOMER
(approaching counter)
I'd like a lottery ticket
STORE OWNER
That I have. Which one?
CUSTOMER
The one that has a $50 million dollar jackpot
STORE OWNER
Uh-huh - everyone is buying them like crazy, today
CUSTOMER
Why should I be different? Now the big question is should I allow the computer to choose the numbers or should I pick them...
STORE OWNER
Why not buy two - let the computer choose one set of numbers and you choose the other
CUSTOMER
I suppose I could do that... Actually and between you and me - I don't trust the computer. I think they fix it so that certain areas have winners
STORE OWNER
Well this store ain't one of them!
CUSTOMER
(anxious)
You mean...you've never had a winner, here?
STORE OWNER
(quick to respond)
Of course we have. Not a major winner but winners - lots and lots of winners
CUSTOMER
Good. Then give me five
STORE OWNER
You trusting the computer?
CUSTOMER
Yup. Too lazy to fill in the numbers besides they've never come in.
STORE OWNER
But they could one day and you... I mean, of course, that's a good idea
(he presses the computer buttons and pulls out the strip of paper with numbers)
Good luck, lady! If you win - I win, too!
CUSTOMER
Don't hold your breath...there goes another ten buckeroonies. By the way, don't forget to ask about the dill pickle and chives
STORE OWNER
Of course. You never know who will want this flavor that I never heard of
CUSTOMER
Live and learn, I always say
(customer exits)
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
SECOND THOUGHTS...
As mentioned in previous writings, been attempting to re-write my short story, "Old Soldiers" as a radio play and enter it in the BBC International Radio Play competition. As a stand-alone story, it's probably if not one of my best, however, in order for it to be suitable for radio, it requires a complete re-think on my part.
As mentioned in previous writings, been attempting to re-write my short story, "Old Soldiers" as a radio play and enter it in the BBC International Radio Play competition. As a stand-alone story, it's probably if not one of my best, however, in order for it to be suitable for radio, it requires a complete re-think on my part.
Writing a play even when its completed, requires a lot of tweaking some of which can't be achieved without letting it "sit" for a while. We're talking (or writing) here about putting it away for a while and then returning for a re-read in order to gain some perspective. My first play, "Gin..." took - without exaggeration - at least2-3 years to complete and umpteen revisions. In fact, I still tweak it.
I'm beginning to think that perhaps my attempt at a re-write given the time left to enter (March), just isn't realistic. I've even toyed with the idea of submitting one of my full plays, "Make Me a Wedding" and cutting out some of the scenes. Problem is, cutting back on the scenes may result in watering down the content and the impact of the story line. It's a comedy and very funny but in the end, it should be in its present form. A radio play is 70 minutes while my play is 120 minutes. That's a lot of dialogue to cut.
So where am I? Really don't know at the present. I entered the competition a few years ago and didn't win but the play I entered was 60 minutes long. At least it was viable. Perhaps I have to go back to the drawing board and re-think the direction my writing has to take. Again.
Monday, January 10, 2011
SCENES FROM REAL LIFE
A SHORT PLAY-ETTE: "HAIRDRESSER"
SCENE: HAIRDRESSER SALON. IT'S A UNI-SEX SALON SERVING BOTH FEMALE AND MALES. A FEMALE CLIENT IS SITTING IN THE CHAIR AS A STYLIST BLOWS HER HAIR DRY. THE STAFF IS OF GREEK HERITAGE
CLIENT
Hi there! Know I'm early.
HAIRDRESSER
Hi sweetie. Be with you soon.
CLIENT
D'ya want me to waste time until you take me? I can wander around the pharmacy next door. Need a few things anyway...how long should I take? Five minutes?
HAIRDRESSER
Make it 10 - no 20...
CLIENT
Sure. Can't stay there longer, though. Last time I was getting some wierd looks like I was a prospective shop lifter.
(female client returns 10 minutes later)
HAIRDRESSER
Another five minutes, okay sweetie?
CLIENT
Fine. Quiet today, huh?
PETER (MALE STYLIST)
Been quiet all week
CLIENT
People aren't making appointments for the holidays?
PETER
(glumly)
Very quiet...
HAIRDRESSER
Okay sweetie. Come sit in the chair. I'm ready for you, now.
CLIENT
Same color like always
HAIRDRESSER
Eyebrows too?
CLIENT
Yup
HAIRDRESSER
I don't know why you want to dye them. There's hardly anything there.
CLIENT
(chuckling)
Geez - thanks. You sure know how to make a customer feel good!
HAIRDRESSER
I meant, of course, that you hardly have any grey in your eyebrows
CLIENT
True...but sometimes a few sneak through
HAIRDRESSER
You could just pluck them
CLIENT
Much easier to color them and besides, I end up taking off chunks of skin with the hairs. Nothing like walking around with red scabs on your eyebrows
(CLIENT is sitting in chair, reading magazine with hair covered in dye)
HAIRDRESSER
Haven't had a full cigarette all day
CUSTOMER
Healthier for you. Progress - the magazines are up to the year 2009 now.
HAIRDRESSER
I'll be back. Need some nicotine in my blood
(Hairdresser leaves salon to smoke. Stella, another hairdresser, sits in chair next to customer. Other hairdresser returns from her nicotine break and cuts the hair of a male customer)
STELLA
Did you notice how thin blank-blank (name of hairdresser) is?
CLIENT
She's lost a lot of weight... 'Hey blank-blank (HD) - how come you lost so much weight?'
HAIRDRESSER
I dunno. Nerves I guess - and hard work. Been busy and sometimes I skip meals
CLIENT
Not a healthy practice. Wow - I never saw you so skinny. Sure you're okay? I mean, no health problems?
STELLA
She's too thin! She should gain some weight!
HAIRDRESSER
I eat healthy, that's why I'm slim - not skinny! Don't eat junk food
STELLA
(who is on the plump side)
Me neither - and look at me! It's just not fair! I watch what I eat and even work out 5 days at the gym and still I don't lose a pound! Some people are soooo lucky!
CLIENT
Why don't you try writing down everything you eat for a day or two? Maybe you don't even realize. You have to watch portion size
STELLA
I do, I do! Look at me! It's just so unfair! Blah-blah on the other hand is too skinny, don'chu think? She doesn't have a bum anymore or boobs
HAIRDRESSER
Are you two talking about me?
CLIENT
We're discussing your weight loss, girl!
STELLA
You gotta gain weight! Really!
CLIENT
Where is Stavros (salon owner)?
STELLA
He went to Ikea to buy a stand so we can make real coffee. Send a man to get something and he takes hours to make a choice. Who knows what he'll come back with
CLIENT
(looking around)
I don't see a coffee maker, here. Since when did you get one?
STELLA
He's hiding it downstairs. I found it by accident
CLIENT
Why is he hiding it?
STELLA
Who knows. These days you gotta make your customers feel welcome, like they're somebodys. You know, 'have a coffee'
CLIENT
Yeah...I suppose, mind you, I like tea myself...
(STAVROS walks in holding long, narrow package. Everyone gathers round and they place what looks like a plank of wood against the space alloted for the planned coffee maker, to measure the width of the shelf or whatever)
STELLA
(in Greek, but it's obvious what she's saying by their gestures)
It's too wide! Look!
(a man enters with lots of electronic tools hanging from a belt on his hips. He runs a stud finder up and down on the wall)
MAN
(shaking his head negatively)
No good. Too many wires here
STAVROS
Can't you do something?
MAN
I dunno...gotta think about this...
STELLA
We only want to put up this shelf so we can put a coffee pot on top. I mean, how hard is that?
(STELLA, THE ELECTRICIAN AND STAVROS disappear downstairs)
HAIRDRESSER
If we're lucky, you'll have a cup of coffee for your next appointment
CUSTOMER
Actually, I'm a tea drinker
HAIRDRESSER
No problem. We have a kettle to boil water. Between you and I, I like Starbucks coffee but keep it between ourselves
CUSTOMER
Of course. What type of tea do you have, by the way? I personally like green tea...
A SHORT PLAY-ETTE: "HAIRDRESSER"
SCENE: HAIRDRESSER SALON. IT'S A UNI-SEX SALON SERVING BOTH FEMALE AND MALES. A FEMALE CLIENT IS SITTING IN THE CHAIR AS A STYLIST BLOWS HER HAIR DRY. THE STAFF IS OF GREEK HERITAGE
CLIENT
Hi there! Know I'm early.
HAIRDRESSER
Hi sweetie. Be with you soon.
CLIENT
D'ya want me to waste time until you take me? I can wander around the pharmacy next door. Need a few things anyway...how long should I take? Five minutes?
HAIRDRESSER
Make it 10 - no 20...
CLIENT
Sure. Can't stay there longer, though. Last time I was getting some wierd looks like I was a prospective shop lifter.
(female client returns 10 minutes later)
HAIRDRESSER
Another five minutes, okay sweetie?
CLIENT
Fine. Quiet today, huh?
PETER (MALE STYLIST)
Been quiet all week
CLIENT
People aren't making appointments for the holidays?
PETER
(glumly)
Very quiet...
HAIRDRESSER
Okay sweetie. Come sit in the chair. I'm ready for you, now.
CLIENT
Same color like always
HAIRDRESSER
Eyebrows too?
CLIENT
Yup
HAIRDRESSER
I don't know why you want to dye them. There's hardly anything there.
CLIENT
(chuckling)
Geez - thanks. You sure know how to make a customer feel good!
HAIRDRESSER
I meant, of course, that you hardly have any grey in your eyebrows
CLIENT
True...but sometimes a few sneak through
HAIRDRESSER
You could just pluck them
CLIENT
Much easier to color them and besides, I end up taking off chunks of skin with the hairs. Nothing like walking around with red scabs on your eyebrows
(CLIENT is sitting in chair, reading magazine with hair covered in dye)
HAIRDRESSER
Haven't had a full cigarette all day
CUSTOMER
Healthier for you. Progress - the magazines are up to the year 2009 now.
HAIRDRESSER
I'll be back. Need some nicotine in my blood
(Hairdresser leaves salon to smoke. Stella, another hairdresser, sits in chair next to customer. Other hairdresser returns from her nicotine break and cuts the hair of a male customer)
STELLA
Did you notice how thin blank-blank (name of hairdresser) is?
CLIENT
She's lost a lot of weight... 'Hey blank-blank (HD) - how come you lost so much weight?'
HAIRDRESSER
I dunno. Nerves I guess - and hard work. Been busy and sometimes I skip meals
CLIENT
Not a healthy practice. Wow - I never saw you so skinny. Sure you're okay? I mean, no health problems?
STELLA
She's too thin! She should gain some weight!
HAIRDRESSER
I eat healthy, that's why I'm slim - not skinny! Don't eat junk food
STELLA
(who is on the plump side)
Me neither - and look at me! It's just not fair! I watch what I eat and even work out 5 days at the gym and still I don't lose a pound! Some people are soooo lucky!
CLIENT
Why don't you try writing down everything you eat for a day or two? Maybe you don't even realize. You have to watch portion size
STELLA
I do, I do! Look at me! It's just so unfair! Blah-blah on the other hand is too skinny, don'chu think? She doesn't have a bum anymore or boobs
HAIRDRESSER
Are you two talking about me?
CLIENT
We're discussing your weight loss, girl!
STELLA
You gotta gain weight! Really!
CLIENT
Where is Stavros (salon owner)?
STELLA
He went to Ikea to buy a stand so we can make real coffee. Send a man to get something and he takes hours to make a choice. Who knows what he'll come back with
CLIENT
(looking around)
I don't see a coffee maker, here. Since when did you get one?
STELLA
He's hiding it downstairs. I found it by accident
CLIENT
Why is he hiding it?
STELLA
Who knows. These days you gotta make your customers feel welcome, like they're somebodys. You know, 'have a coffee'
CLIENT
Yeah...I suppose, mind you, I like tea myself...
(STAVROS walks in holding long, narrow package. Everyone gathers round and they place what looks like a plank of wood against the space alloted for the planned coffee maker, to measure the width of the shelf or whatever)
STELLA
(in Greek, but it's obvious what she's saying by their gestures)
It's too wide! Look!
(a man enters with lots of electronic tools hanging from a belt on his hips. He runs a stud finder up and down on the wall)
MAN
(shaking his head negatively)
No good. Too many wires here
STAVROS
Can't you do something?
MAN
I dunno...gotta think about this...
STELLA
We only want to put up this shelf so we can put a coffee pot on top. I mean, how hard is that?
(STELLA, THE ELECTRICIAN AND STAVROS disappear downstairs)
HAIRDRESSER
If we're lucky, you'll have a cup of coffee for your next appointment
CUSTOMER
Actually, I'm a tea drinker
HAIRDRESSER
No problem. We have a kettle to boil water. Between you and I, I like Starbucks coffee but keep it between ourselves
CUSTOMER
Of course. What type of tea do you have, by the way? I personally like green tea...
Saturday, January 08, 2011
OLD SOLDIERS -THE BBC INTERNATIONAL RADIO PLAY COMP. : RE-WRITE PROGRESS UPDATE
Slowly revising the story and adding/modifying dialogue. Also added a character (or more) and changed some of the locations. The fiction story opens in Joe McKenna's apartment and I've changed it to Joe and friends getting together to toast an old soldier's demise, at a bar. It seemed that this would be something that a group of old vets would do.
I'm working on flushing out the various characters but I have to be careful that they're not "throw-away" people that will be dropped along the way. They have to be part of the story line. I like the 'feel' of the dialogue - so far. My problem has never been with writing dialogue - I'm strong in this area but to keep the story on track. To this end I'm going back to something I used to do, which is to write an outline.
The challenge, at least for me, is sound effects. In the bar, there is background music and the sound of people talking. The next scene will be in Joe's apartment, which is problematic sound-wise. Mind you he will be talking to his dog... The dog's responses are limited in speech-lolol. Then again, perhaps I'll have somebody drop by, which still won't give me more sound effects...
Definitely need an outline.
Slowly revising the story and adding/modifying dialogue. Also added a character (or more) and changed some of the locations. The fiction story opens in Joe McKenna's apartment and I've changed it to Joe and friends getting together to toast an old soldier's demise, at a bar. It seemed that this would be something that a group of old vets would do.
I'm working on flushing out the various characters but I have to be careful that they're not "throw-away" people that will be dropped along the way. They have to be part of the story line. I like the 'feel' of the dialogue - so far. My problem has never been with writing dialogue - I'm strong in this area but to keep the story on track. To this end I'm going back to something I used to do, which is to write an outline.
The challenge, at least for me, is sound effects. In the bar, there is background music and the sound of people talking. The next scene will be in Joe's apartment, which is problematic sound-wise. Mind you he will be talking to his dog... The dog's responses are limited in speech-lolol. Then again, perhaps I'll have somebody drop by, which still won't give me more sound effects...
Definitely need an outline.
Monday, December 20, 2010
SCENES FROM REAL LIFE
A SHORT PLAY: "THE LIFT"
SCENE: THE WOMAN BUNDLED UP FOR A COLD, WINTER DAY IS WALKING WITH A SHOPPING BAG SLUNG OVER HER SHOULDER. AS SHE WALKS, SHE STARES DOWN AT THE SNOWY SIDEWALK
CAST: THE WOMAN
WOMAN DRIVER
THE WOMAN
(mumbling to herself)
Cold... Maybe I should turn back. But I need stuff at the supermarket. Should have taken the car but then what is the physical value in that? No - I need exercise and it's really not that cold out. These boots are so damned heavy but at least they're waterproof...and this fur hat is driving me nuts! It's itchy and keeps slipping down to my eyebrows. I probably look like a lunatic. How do I scratch an itch under a fur hat with mittens on? I suppose I could take them off... At least it's fake fur and I don't have to feel guilty about wearing it. I swear I'm gonna take off this hat, throw it on the ground and stamp on it! I better stop talking to myself in case I meet up with someone I know.
(she looks up and notices that a car slows down and stops a few feet in front of her)
THE WOMAN
Uh-oh...who is that? Should I cross the street or keep walking here. I don't want to make it obvious that I'm nervous. Hopefully they won't ask me for directions because I'm really bad at that. The best I end up doing is pointing
(as the point where she is about to pass the car, a window rolls down and the woman driver leans over)
WOMAN DRIVER
Hello there!
THE WOMAN
(moving away from car)
Uh-huh...yes?
WOMAN DRIVER
Are you going to the supermarket?
THE WOMAN
Well...
WOMAN DRIVER
I'm on my way there, myself. Could I offer you a lift?
THE WOMAN
Well...I don't...
WOMAN DRIVER
Don't worry. I often give lifts to women in the winter, especially on a day like today. Cold wind.
WOMAN
Well...okay, I suppose.
(woman gets into car)
WOMAN
(cautiously but anxiously)
Do you...live around... here?
WOMAN DRIVER
I live in the Versailles.
WOMAN
Oh we're neighbors! I live right next door to you! It's very nice that you offer me a lift.
WOMAN DRIVER
It's no problem - I'm on my way there, myself. I probably wouldn't offer a lift to a man, though. You just never know who can get in
WOMAN
Can't tell these days...
WOMAN DRIVER
So...I saw you walking with a shopping bag and I thought 'she's probably going to the supermarket and it's cold outside and the least I can do is offer her a lift.' So here we are!
WOMAN
Yup...
WOMAN DRIVER
Do you have a dog?
WOMAN
Pardon?
WOMAN DRIVER
A dog? You know -woof-woof?
WOMAN
No - just a husband.
(they both laugh)
WOMAN DRIVER
I want to get a dog. Not a big one or anything...I live in an apartment. A dog would be nice and they're good company. I could dress it up in nice clothes like that dog over there
(they both "awwww" at a dog with boots and trendy sweater being walked accross the road)
WOMAN
I had a dog for 15 years. That's enough for me. Too hard to take when they get old and sick
WOMAN DRIVER
Maybe - but I really would like one...
(they turn into supermarket parking lot)
WOMAN
We're here. You are so thoughtful to offer me a lift. You can leave me off here at the pharmacy. I have to get some makeup
WOMAN DRIVER
It's a pleasure. Maybe next time I'll have a dog for you to pet!
WOMAN
Maybe you will! I'm sure we'll see each other again in the Spring living next door to each other. In the winter, we drive in our car and even when we walk, we look down. Bye!
WOMAN DRIVER
Merry Christmas - don't spend all your money!
WOMAN
(watching car drive away)
Nice...really nice! This damned hat is going to drive me nuts...
A SHORT PLAY: "THE LIFT"
SCENE: THE WOMAN BUNDLED UP FOR A COLD, WINTER DAY IS WALKING WITH A SHOPPING BAG SLUNG OVER HER SHOULDER. AS SHE WALKS, SHE STARES DOWN AT THE SNOWY SIDEWALK
CAST: THE WOMAN
WOMAN DRIVER
THE WOMAN
(mumbling to herself)
Cold... Maybe I should turn back. But I need stuff at the supermarket. Should have taken the car but then what is the physical value in that? No - I need exercise and it's really not that cold out. These boots are so damned heavy but at least they're waterproof...and this fur hat is driving me nuts! It's itchy and keeps slipping down to my eyebrows. I probably look like a lunatic. How do I scratch an itch under a fur hat with mittens on? I suppose I could take them off... At least it's fake fur and I don't have to feel guilty about wearing it. I swear I'm gonna take off this hat, throw it on the ground and stamp on it! I better stop talking to myself in case I meet up with someone I know.
(she looks up and notices that a car slows down and stops a few feet in front of her)
THE WOMAN
Uh-oh...who is that? Should I cross the street or keep walking here. I don't want to make it obvious that I'm nervous. Hopefully they won't ask me for directions because I'm really bad at that. The best I end up doing is pointing
(as the point where she is about to pass the car, a window rolls down and the woman driver leans over)
WOMAN DRIVER
Hello there!
THE WOMAN
(moving away from car)
Uh-huh...yes?
WOMAN DRIVER
Are you going to the supermarket?
THE WOMAN
Well...
WOMAN DRIVER
I'm on my way there, myself. Could I offer you a lift?
THE WOMAN
Well...I don't...
WOMAN DRIVER
Don't worry. I often give lifts to women in the winter, especially on a day like today. Cold wind.
WOMAN
Well...okay, I suppose.
(woman gets into car)
WOMAN
(cautiously but anxiously)
Do you...live around... here?
WOMAN DRIVER
I live in the Versailles.
WOMAN
Oh we're neighbors! I live right next door to you! It's very nice that you offer me a lift.
WOMAN DRIVER
It's no problem - I'm on my way there, myself. I probably wouldn't offer a lift to a man, though. You just never know who can get in
WOMAN
Can't tell these days...
WOMAN DRIVER
So...I saw you walking with a shopping bag and I thought 'she's probably going to the supermarket and it's cold outside and the least I can do is offer her a lift.' So here we are!
WOMAN
Yup...
WOMAN DRIVER
Do you have a dog?
WOMAN
Pardon?
WOMAN DRIVER
A dog? You know -woof-woof?
WOMAN
No - just a husband.
(they both laugh)
WOMAN DRIVER
I want to get a dog. Not a big one or anything...I live in an apartment. A dog would be nice and they're good company. I could dress it up in nice clothes like that dog over there
(they both "awwww" at a dog with boots and trendy sweater being walked accross the road)
WOMAN
I had a dog for 15 years. That's enough for me. Too hard to take when they get old and sick
WOMAN DRIVER
Maybe - but I really would like one...
(they turn into supermarket parking lot)
WOMAN
We're here. You are so thoughtful to offer me a lift. You can leave me off here at the pharmacy. I have to get some makeup
WOMAN DRIVER
It's a pleasure. Maybe next time I'll have a dog for you to pet!
WOMAN
Maybe you will! I'm sure we'll see each other again in the Spring living next door to each other. In the winter, we drive in our car and even when we walk, we look down. Bye!
WOMAN DRIVER
Merry Christmas - don't spend all your money!
WOMAN
(watching car drive away)
Nice...really nice! This damned hat is going to drive me nuts...
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Bought two skeins/balls of multi-colored wool and knitting needles in anticipation of making...something. Realized that the best I could hope for was one of my famous scarves and it dawned on me that I needed a lot more wool. Ran to Walmart at point of purchase to replenish and this was the end result. Yet another event taken from my life.
SCANNED!
SCENE: THE HANDICRAFT SECTION OF A WALMART STORE. A WOMAN CUSTOMER IS SCANNING THE ASSORTMENT OF WOOL ON THE SHELVES WHILE A SALES CLERK IS BUSY TALKING TO A YOUNG MALE CLERK, TELLING HIM WHAT TO DO
FEMALE SALES CLERK
So you check your merchandise against the typed sheet and...
CUSTOMER
'Scuse me?
FEMALE SALES CLERK
...keep checking the sheet, Deepak. Uh-huh?
CUSTOMER
(showing clerk a paper wrapper taken from a skein of wool)
Um - I'm looking for this brand and lot dye number but I don't seem to be able to see it anywhere...
FEMALE SALES CLERK
(taking paper and examining it)
Let's see now...where would this be...
(the customer and sales clerk walk up and down the aisle, searching for the wool brand)
FEMALE SALES CLERK
Aside to young male assistant:'Deepak - go find me a scanner...somewhere!'
To customer: I left my scanner here and somebody took it. Can't leave anything these days
CUSTOMER
You mean a customer took it?
FEMALE SALES CLERK
Could be although more likely it's another clerk from another dept.
CUSTOMER
Oh... So do you see my brand of wool, anywhere? I don't
FEMALE SALES CLERK
Me neither. Wait a minute - let's go look in the clearance section... Just as I thought - your wool was on clearance
(clerk holds up paper from wool and shows customer similar wool)
FEMALE SALES CLERK
See? Same brand but new wrapping and not your shade. They must have dropped your shade
CUSTOMER
You mean...my wool has been discontinued? But...I just bought it a few days ago!
FEMALE SALES CLERK
That could be but if it's on clearance - it's not here anymore
CUSTOMER
Will you be getting anymore in?
FEMALE SALES CLERK
I doubt it.It's finished!
CUSTOMER
What am I supposed to do now? How can I finish my scarf I'm making?
FEMALE SALES CLERK
What can I tell you! If I had that darn scanner, I could check the other stores to see if they have any in stock
CUSTOMER
Well can't you get another scanner?
FEMALE SALES CLERK
I don't know...where's that Deepak...
CUSTOMER
Perhaps if you'd go find one...?
FEMALE SALES CLERK
If only I had that scanner...but I don't. Why don't you go to one of the front cashes. They can scan your label and check to see if you can find it at another Walmart
CUSTOMER
Are you sure you absolutely sure you don't have the wool, somewhere?
FEMALE SALES CLERK
I'm sure...of course the scanner would help but...
CUSTOMER
...I know. You don't have a scanner.
FEMALE SALES CLERK
My assistant, Deepak, will be back in a minute and then I can go look for a scanner...
CUSTOMER
I really can't wait any longer
FEMALE SALES CLERK
There he is now, 'Deepak - we need a scanner!'
CUSTOMER
Yes Deepak. You do
FEMALE SALES CLERK
We can't work without a scanner! You go find one! I swear, these days you can't trust anyone.
CUSTOMER
What about my wool?
FEMALE SALES CLERK
Like I said, go to the front cash and ask them to...
CUSTOMER
...scan. BTW - is this yours?
FEMALE SALES CLERK
Ohmygawd - that's our scanner!
CUSTOMER
It was lying here in the wool on clearance. Have a good day
FEMALE SALES CLERK
You too! Go figure...here all along... 'Deepak! I found it!'
SCANNED!
SCENE: THE HANDICRAFT SECTION OF A WALMART STORE. A WOMAN CUSTOMER IS SCANNING THE ASSORTMENT OF WOOL ON THE SHELVES WHILE A SALES CLERK IS BUSY TALKING TO A YOUNG MALE CLERK, TELLING HIM WHAT TO DO
FEMALE SALES CLERK
So you check your merchandise against the typed sheet and...
CUSTOMER
'Scuse me?
FEMALE SALES CLERK
...keep checking the sheet, Deepak. Uh-huh?
CUSTOMER
(showing clerk a paper wrapper taken from a skein of wool)
Um - I'm looking for this brand and lot dye number but I don't seem to be able to see it anywhere...
FEMALE SALES CLERK
(taking paper and examining it)
Let's see now...where would this be...
(the customer and sales clerk walk up and down the aisle, searching for the wool brand)
FEMALE SALES CLERK
Aside to young male assistant:'Deepak - go find me a scanner...somewhere!'
To customer: I left my scanner here and somebody took it. Can't leave anything these days
CUSTOMER
You mean a customer took it?
FEMALE SALES CLERK
Could be although more likely it's another clerk from another dept.
CUSTOMER
Oh... So do you see my brand of wool, anywhere? I don't
FEMALE SALES CLERK
Me neither. Wait a minute - let's go look in the clearance section... Just as I thought - your wool was on clearance
(clerk holds up paper from wool and shows customer similar wool)
FEMALE SALES CLERK
See? Same brand but new wrapping and not your shade. They must have dropped your shade
CUSTOMER
You mean...my wool has been discontinued? But...I just bought it a few days ago!
FEMALE SALES CLERK
That could be but if it's on clearance - it's not here anymore
CUSTOMER
Will you be getting anymore in?
FEMALE SALES CLERK
I doubt it.It's finished!
CUSTOMER
What am I supposed to do now? How can I finish my scarf I'm making?
FEMALE SALES CLERK
What can I tell you! If I had that darn scanner, I could check the other stores to see if they have any in stock
CUSTOMER
Well can't you get another scanner?
FEMALE SALES CLERK
I don't know...where's that Deepak...
CUSTOMER
Perhaps if you'd go find one...?
FEMALE SALES CLERK
If only I had that scanner...but I don't. Why don't you go to one of the front cashes. They can scan your label and check to see if you can find it at another Walmart
CUSTOMER
Are you sure you absolutely sure you don't have the wool, somewhere?
FEMALE SALES CLERK
I'm sure...of course the scanner would help but...
CUSTOMER
...I know. You don't have a scanner.
FEMALE SALES CLERK
My assistant, Deepak, will be back in a minute and then I can go look for a scanner...
CUSTOMER
I really can't wait any longer
FEMALE SALES CLERK
There he is now, 'Deepak - we need a scanner!'
CUSTOMER
Yes Deepak. You do
FEMALE SALES CLERK
We can't work without a scanner! You go find one! I swear, these days you can't trust anyone.
CUSTOMER
What about my wool?
FEMALE SALES CLERK
Like I said, go to the front cash and ask them to...
CUSTOMER
...scan. BTW - is this yours?
FEMALE SALES CLERK
Ohmygawd - that's our scanner!
CUSTOMER
It was lying here in the wool on clearance. Have a good day
FEMALE SALES CLERK
You too! Go figure...here all along... 'Deepak! I found it!'
Saturday, November 27, 2010
DOWNER - MONA DOESN'T LIVE
It takes me a while until getting to the point where I actually make the decision to submit one of my plays and play-ettes. There is the usual self-doubt, is it play-worthy and most of all, does it have entertainment value. When and if I do submit, hope springs eternal that it could make the grade, grade being a theatre recognizes that it has diversionary value . Visions of it actually being performed before an audience who clap in appreciation accompany the "submit" button or the actual act of mailing the ms envelope.
Just came back from checking the Snowdance Festival site in the hope that my name was among the lucky ten playwrights whose plays were accepted. It wasn't.
Inject deep sigh here.
Having not received a notification one way or the other, the only means in which playwrights would know is to continually check their site. That I did - and then some.
The play submitted, "Dusting Mona" was one of my more recent creations and IMHO it's well written. Obviously, not entertaining enough to make the grade.
Inject another deep sigh here.
It was submitted by mail this time since this was their choice and now I'm wondering whether it was ever received. Actually, it's easier to accept that they never received it rather than believe it wasn't good enough. Rejection is part of playwriting or any type of writing but it never gets easier as anyone who is in this milieu will attest. I like to believe that the audience doesn't know what they're missing. Let's just say that Mona and other literary friends are taking a rest.
It takes me a while until getting to the point where I actually make the decision to submit one of my plays and play-ettes. There is the usual self-doubt, is it play-worthy and most of all, does it have entertainment value. When and if I do submit, hope springs eternal that it could make the grade, grade being a theatre recognizes that it has diversionary value . Visions of it actually being performed before an audience who clap in appreciation accompany the "submit" button or the actual act of mailing the ms envelope.
Just came back from checking the Snowdance Festival site in the hope that my name was among the lucky ten playwrights whose plays were accepted. It wasn't.
Inject deep sigh here.
Having not received a notification one way or the other, the only means in which playwrights would know is to continually check their site. That I did - and then some.
The play submitted, "Dusting Mona" was one of my more recent creations and IMHO it's well written. Obviously, not entertaining enough to make the grade.
Inject another deep sigh here.
It was submitted by mail this time since this was their choice and now I'm wondering whether it was ever received. Actually, it's easier to accept that they never received it rather than believe it wasn't good enough. Rejection is part of playwriting or any type of writing but it never gets easier as anyone who is in this milieu will attest. I like to believe that the audience doesn't know what they're missing. Let's just say that Mona and other literary friends are taking a rest.
Monday, November 22, 2010
OLD SOLDIERS - THE RADIO PLAY - a progress report #1
Decided to try and convert my short story, "Old Soldiers" into a radio play and enter it into the BBC International Playwriting Competition. My first realization how difficult a task this is going to be is underestimating the amount of dialogue required. Dialogue as it stands now is limited in its present form and this means a complete re-think as to how I'm going to move this story along. I'm also not sure how to write a radio play. Will spend some time searching the Internet in the hope of discovering the form. Some questions requiring answers that keep me up nights wondering:
- is it written in the same manner as a play?
- do radio plays have scenes?
- where are the sound effects written?
Decided to try and convert my short story, "Old Soldiers" into a radio play and enter it into the BBC International Playwriting Competition. My first realization how difficult a task this is going to be is underestimating the amount of dialogue required. Dialogue as it stands now is limited in its present form and this means a complete re-think as to how I'm going to move this story along. I'm also not sure how to write a radio play. Will spend some time searching the Internet in the hope of discovering the form. Some questions requiring answers that keep me up nights wondering:
- is it written in the same manner as a play?
- do radio plays have scenes?
- where are the sound effects written?
Why am I doing it? Because it's a personal challenge, especially since I've entered the competition before having submitted, "Retribution", which should have won...IMHO. This short story is one of my favorites and I think that it has the potential to be a winner.
There are four characters in the short story but more are required. I'm toying with the idea of adding an old dog given that Joe, my main character, is an old soldier. The dog is Joe's confidant, best friend and reason for living.
Dilemma at present is whether to open the story in Joe's apartment as it is in the story, or open it in a pub. If I open it in the pub it could be a few hours before the ceremonies, whereas the kitchen scene would go before he meets up with his friends in the pub to toast the demise of an army buddy friend.
Also considering the addition of an old (as in age) nosey landlady, who enjoys dropping by Joe's apt. He dislikes her, period, and dislikes her never-ending questions.
We'll see what develops as more dialogue is added. To be continued...
Friday, November 19, 2010
GIMME SPACE
BY ELEANOR TYLBOR
SCENE: A PHARMACY OR ANYWHERE, ACTUALLY. THREE PEOPLE ARE WAITING TO PAY FOR ITEMS AT THE CASH.
CUSTOMER 1
(placing item on counter along with umbrella)
Just going to put this down here... Ooops - didn't mean to crowd anyone
CUSTOMER 2
(directly behind)
No problem. I'll just move my items back a bit to give you some more room
CUSTOMER 1
Don't worry about it. It's only a jar of jam.
CUSTOMER 2
Is it good. I mean, have you had some before?
CUSTOMER 1
Nope. First time. It was on special at nine-nine cents. Mind you, it's only good for 10 more days...
CUSTOMER 2
Do you eat a lot of jam?
CUSTOMER 1
Depends on the day. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Depends how jammy I'm feeling.
CUSTOMER 3
(in front of line)
I'm here!
CUSTOMER 1
Sorry?
CUSTOMER 3
I'm here, too.
CUSTOMER 1
I see
CUSTOMER 3
I need room for my things
CUSTOMER 1
O-kay...
CUSTOMER 3
Could you give me some room for my things, please?
CUSTOMER 1 looks at her for a few seconds, down at her items and moves the umbrella and jam away from CUSTOMER 3
CUSTOMER 3
Your umbrella is wet and it's touching my toilet paper!
CUSTOMER 1
That would be as a result of the pouring rain outside
CUSTOMER 3
You're making the counter wet
CUSTOMER 1
O-kay...sorry but the cashier is doing your items and you'll be outta here, soon
CUSTOMER 3
Still, your umbrella takes up a lot of space
CUSTOMER 1
I already removed it off the counter and moved back my jam so it won't touch your items
CUSTOMER 3
But you made the counter all wet
CUSTOMER 1
(putting hand in purse, produces Kleenex and wipes counter)
There! Allll gone!
CUSTOMER 3 grabs bag
CUSTOMER 3
There should be a sign posted telling people they can't put wet umbrellas on the counter!
CUSTOMER 3 storms out of store
CUSTOMER 1
Some people just gotta have their space!
(turns to CUSTOMER 2)
Oh gee - am I dripping water on your feet? I'm so sorry...here let me wipe them...
BY ELEANOR TYLBOR
SCENE: A PHARMACY OR ANYWHERE, ACTUALLY. THREE PEOPLE ARE WAITING TO PAY FOR ITEMS AT THE CASH.
CUSTOMER 1
(placing item on counter along with umbrella)
Just going to put this down here... Ooops - didn't mean to crowd anyone
CUSTOMER 2
(directly behind)
No problem. I'll just move my items back a bit to give you some more room
CUSTOMER 1
Don't worry about it. It's only a jar of jam.
CUSTOMER 2
Is it good. I mean, have you had some before?
CUSTOMER 1
Nope. First time. It was on special at nine-nine cents. Mind you, it's only good for 10 more days...
CUSTOMER 2
Do you eat a lot of jam?
CUSTOMER 1
Depends on the day. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Depends how jammy I'm feeling.
CUSTOMER 3
(in front of line)
I'm here!
CUSTOMER 1
Sorry?
CUSTOMER 3
I'm here, too.
CUSTOMER 1
I see
CUSTOMER 3
I need room for my things
CUSTOMER 1
O-kay...
CUSTOMER 3
Could you give me some room for my things, please?
CUSTOMER 1 looks at her for a few seconds, down at her items and moves the umbrella and jam away from CUSTOMER 3
CUSTOMER 3
Your umbrella is wet and it's touching my toilet paper!
CUSTOMER 1
That would be as a result of the pouring rain outside
CUSTOMER 3
You're making the counter wet
CUSTOMER 1
O-kay...sorry but the cashier is doing your items and you'll be outta here, soon
CUSTOMER 3
Still, your umbrella takes up a lot of space
CUSTOMER 1
I already removed it off the counter and moved back my jam so it won't touch your items
CUSTOMER 3
But you made the counter all wet
CUSTOMER 1
(putting hand in purse, produces Kleenex and wipes counter)
There! Allll gone!
CUSTOMER 3 grabs bag
CUSTOMER 3
There should be a sign posted telling people they can't put wet umbrellas on the counter!
CUSTOMER 3 storms out of store
CUSTOMER 1
Some people just gotta have their space!
(turns to CUSTOMER 2)
Oh gee - am I dripping water on your feet? I'm so sorry...here let me wipe them...
Saturday, November 06, 2010
MAKE ME A WEDDING! - FROM THE BEGINNING
In spite of what appears to be little interest in my playwriting blog updates - insert big sigh here - I'm going to continue anyway. As mentioned, at present I'm tweaking my two full-plays with the intention of submitting...again and again and...
Friday, November 6:
Started reading right from the top, including cast. Little concerned as I was when I wrote it, actually, that there is a cast of 9. Be that as it may, I can't cut back because they all play an important part of the whole.
SCENE 1: Made some minor changes but no major issues. Introduction to characters requires no modifications as I view them. Sadie and Morty, mother and father, definitely have their own personalities, which is good. Bride-to-be, Rachel's entrance and announcement of her engagement and wedding plans, which differ from Sadie's, signals problems to come. All-in-all - so far, so good. To be continued...
In spite of what appears to be little interest in my playwriting blog updates - insert big sigh here - I'm going to continue anyway. As mentioned, at present I'm tweaking my two full-plays with the intention of submitting...again and again and...
Friday, November 6:
Started reading right from the top, including cast. Little concerned as I was when I wrote it, actually, that there is a cast of 9. Be that as it may, I can't cut back because they all play an important part of the whole.
SCENE 1: Made some minor changes but no major issues. Introduction to characters requires no modifications as I view them. Sadie and Morty, mother and father, definitely have their own personalities, which is good. Bride-to-be, Rachel's entrance and announcement of her engagement and wedding plans, which differ from Sadie's, signals problems to come. All-in-all - so far, so good. To be continued...
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
A SHINING LIGHT - THE PLAY?
I wrote this a while back as a First Person piece for our local daily. It was one of other pieces focusing on my experience as a student attending after school Hebrew lessons. This was a very pleasant time and experience although it didn't seem like it at the time. In any case, I'm toying with re-writing it as a play perhaps combining it with some of the other pieces. As usual, comments always welcome.
A Shining Light
BY ELEANOR TYLBOR
As a youngster, Christmas was somewhat of a demoralizing time of the year. Since our family was of the Jewish faith, we celebrated the holiday of Chanukah, which didn't seem to me to be half as exciting as the furor that went along with trimming a tree.
On occasion Chanukah fell during the same period as Christmas and somehow I couldn't work up as much enthusiasm for lighting a candle even if it was colored, as my friends seemed to experience placing ornaments on the branches of their trees.
Even though my parents explained time and time again that Jewish people don't celebrate Christmas, which meant that a tree even a miniature one was out of the question, it was difficult for me to accept. In spite of protestations that we could call it a Chanukah bush, it was obvious that there was no way a fir tree would be part of our celebrations.
Traditionally at Chanukah, children receive gifts of gelt or money and light small colored candles in a menorah (candelabra), one per night for the eight days of the holiday. While that was nice, in my mind it didn't measure up to all the excitement connected to the "other" holiday.
At Hebrew school we always celebrated the various holidays, big and small, and Chanukah was a particular favorite especially since our class, being the eldest students, entertained the residents of a seniors home. Each year the teacher would select eight students to sing and perform as Chanukah candles and competition was fierce for the part of lead candle.
Since I wasn't blessed with a good singing voice – I could barely carry a tune – I knew that my chances were slim at best to play any candle, never mind the lead candle. My biggest rival was Zelig, who had the voice and promise of a future opera singer. Not only did he have the best singing voice, he was also the top student scholastically. Plus he was also the teacher's pet. Whenever games were played for prizes during the holidays, Zelig won everything, which didn't exactly ingratiate him with the other students. Actually, we were all jealous and would have liked nothing better than for his voice to change in the middle of a concert.
Class auditions for candle parts were held a few weeks before the onset of the holiday and the best I could hope for was a minor part and even then, only if the rest of the students had an off day or laryngitis. Each student auditioned for the teacher and as expected, Zelig got the lead role, which irritated me no end.
My resentment was eased somewhat by being assigned the role of a minor candle, probably out of pity more than anything else. Those students not chosen became part of the chorus singing "tra-la-las" at the appropriate time.
Excitement was at a fever pitch when we arrived at the seniors' home, ready to perform for a live audience who were, for the most part, in wheelchairs. They were brought into the auditorium where we were lined up on stage, anxious to perform.
Glancing around the room, many of the seniors appeared half asleep.
"You will be entertained today!" their nurses might have insisted as they wheeled them into the room.
The first students opened the concert and sang well and those who followed performed admirably. Finally, it was my turn. My voice didn't fail me and I felt very proud of my accomplishment.
Zelig opened his mouth and it was like a chorus of angels had entered the room. His voice was strong and melodic and suddenly the seniors perked up, smiles on their faces in obvious appreciation of what they heard. When the last notes of his solo faded away, they all clapped appreciatively.
The musical recital was over and we performed a variety of Israeli dances, moving off the stage to mingle among our audience. Although Israeli dancing was a passion, I was consumed with the memory of the applause and accolades bestowed upon Zelig.
After our presentation and some refreshments, an elderly woman wheeled over to talk to me. She smiled, her trembling hand gently covering mine.
"Thank you," she uttered weakly and breathlessly. "You were all wonderful. How special you are to visit us!"
There was the sudden realization that it wasn't important who the lead candle was or who had the best voice. It was significant to our audience that we had taken the time to come at all.
It wasn't long after our successful performance that Zelig's voice finally broke and he never knew whether he would sing soprano or alto. Tough luck for him. My voice on the other hand, never changed and could always be depended on to sing off-key
A Shining Light
BY ELEANOR TYLBOR
As a youngster, Christmas was somewhat of a demoralizing time of the year. Since our family was of the Jewish faith, we celebrated the holiday of Chanukah, which didn't seem to me to be half as exciting as the furor that went along with trimming a tree.
On occasion Chanukah fell during the same period as Christmas and somehow I couldn't work up as much enthusiasm for lighting a candle even if it was colored, as my friends seemed to experience placing ornaments on the branches of their trees.
Even though my parents explained time and time again that Jewish people don't celebrate Christmas, which meant that a tree even a miniature one was out of the question, it was difficult for me to accept. In spite of protestations that we could call it a Chanukah bush, it was obvious that there was no way a fir tree would be part of our celebrations.
Traditionally at Chanukah, children receive gifts of gelt or money and light small colored candles in a menorah (candelabra), one per night for the eight days of the holiday. While that was nice, in my mind it didn't measure up to all the excitement connected to the "other" holiday.
At Hebrew school we always celebrated the various holidays, big and small, and Chanukah was a particular favorite especially since our class, being the eldest students, entertained the residents of a seniors home. Each year the teacher would select eight students to sing and perform as Chanukah candles and competition was fierce for the part of lead candle.
Since I wasn't blessed with a good singing voice – I could barely carry a tune – I knew that my chances were slim at best to play any candle, never mind the lead candle. My biggest rival was Zelig, who had the voice and promise of a future opera singer. Not only did he have the best singing voice, he was also the top student scholastically. Plus he was also the teacher's pet. Whenever games were played for prizes during the holidays, Zelig won everything, which didn't exactly ingratiate him with the other students. Actually, we were all jealous and would have liked nothing better than for his voice to change in the middle of a concert.
Class auditions for candle parts were held a few weeks before the onset of the holiday and the best I could hope for was a minor part and even then, only if the rest of the students had an off day or laryngitis. Each student auditioned for the teacher and as expected, Zelig got the lead role, which irritated me no end.
My resentment was eased somewhat by being assigned the role of a minor candle, probably out of pity more than anything else. Those students not chosen became part of the chorus singing "tra-la-las" at the appropriate time.
Excitement was at a fever pitch when we arrived at the seniors' home, ready to perform for a live audience who were, for the most part, in wheelchairs. They were brought into the auditorium where we were lined up on stage, anxious to perform.
Glancing around the room, many of the seniors appeared half asleep.
"You will be entertained today!" their nurses might have insisted as they wheeled them into the room.
The first students opened the concert and sang well and those who followed performed admirably. Finally, it was my turn. My voice didn't fail me and I felt very proud of my accomplishment.
Zelig opened his mouth and it was like a chorus of angels had entered the room. His voice was strong and melodic and suddenly the seniors perked up, smiles on their faces in obvious appreciation of what they heard. When the last notes of his solo faded away, they all clapped appreciatively.
The musical recital was over and we performed a variety of Israeli dances, moving off the stage to mingle among our audience. Although Israeli dancing was a passion, I was consumed with the memory of the applause and accolades bestowed upon Zelig.
After our presentation and some refreshments, an elderly woman wheeled over to talk to me. She smiled, her trembling hand gently covering mine.
"Thank you," she uttered weakly and breathlessly. "You were all wonderful. How special you are to visit us!"
There was the sudden realization that it wasn't important who the lead candle was or who had the best voice. It was significant to our audience that we had taken the time to come at all.
It wasn't long after our successful performance that Zelig's voice finally broke and he never knew whether he would sing soprano or alto. Tough luck for him. My voice on the other hand, never changed and could always be depended on to sing off-key
BACK IN THE PLAYWRITING SADDLE AGAIN
It appears that once bitten by the playwriting bug, it's an itch that no amount of scratching can quell. What I'm trying to express in my loquacious fashion is that I've decided to submit my plays, again. Not that I didn't before but there has been a noticeable gap that has nagged at my conscience.
I've already taken steps to move things along and submitted one of my short plays in a competition. Don't want to talk/write about it because like many people of our ilk, I'm superstitious, but it's one of my more recent attempts. Additionally, I'm going to enter the BBC International Playwriting Competition if I can convert one of my stories into a radio play. I've got a good half-year to do it but it's still a difficult task.
I've also decided to edit (again!)my full two-act plays and make a real push and effort to get them produced. Not that I didn't before but not to the degree I should have because I feared and still fear rejection. The plays, actually I'm focusing on one in particular, "Make Me a Wedding!" a comedy and the first play I wrote, requires a thorough going-over to see if it still makes me laugh as it did in the past. More importantly, though, looking at it through the eyes of outsiders and evaluating whether it will make them laugh.
In addition, I will post regular updates in this blog and share my findings along with pieces of dialogue for feedback if anyone feels like jumping in. Feel free to do so and it would be much appreciated.
Meanwhile, Morty and Saydie are calling me to help out in the planning of the wedding. As if I'd refuse.
It appears that once bitten by the playwriting bug, it's an itch that no amount of scratching can quell. What I'm trying to express in my loquacious fashion is that I've decided to submit my plays, again. Not that I didn't before but there has been a noticeable gap that has nagged at my conscience.
I've already taken steps to move things along and submitted one of my short plays in a competition. Don't want to talk/write about it because like many people of our ilk, I'm superstitious, but it's one of my more recent attempts. Additionally, I'm going to enter the BBC International Playwriting Competition if I can convert one of my stories into a radio play. I've got a good half-year to do it but it's still a difficult task.
I've also decided to edit (again!)my full two-act plays and make a real push and effort to get them produced. Not that I didn't before but not to the degree I should have because I feared and still fear rejection. The plays, actually I'm focusing on one in particular, "Make Me a Wedding!" a comedy and the first play I wrote, requires a thorough going-over to see if it still makes me laugh as it did in the past. More importantly, though, looking at it through the eyes of outsiders and evaluating whether it will make them laugh.
In addition, I will post regular updates in this blog and share my findings along with pieces of dialogue for feedback if anyone feels like jumping in. Feel free to do so and it would be much appreciated.
Meanwhile, Morty and Saydie are calling me to help out in the planning of the wedding. As if I'd refuse.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
DOES MY PLAY SOUND FAMILIAR TO YOU?
For whatever reason - lack of a proper filing system springs to mind - there are problems when it comes to submitting my plays to various theatres or competitions. This point was brought home recently upon reading the guidelines to a 10-minute competition that could be a fit for my short plays. This is a yearly competition and as I recall it was the lucky (IMHO) recipient of one of my literary offerings last year but the problem is...which one.
In the past I opened a file to keep track of which plays were sent to whom but along the way, I stopped making notes. Now I'm forced to play a guessing game in order to hide my ineffectual (read: non-existent) filing system. Should I own up to this fact in a covering letter? Something to the effect:
"Dear blah-blah,
Please find my short play, blah-blah, for your 10-minute competition. Perhaps it might look familiar and could have been one of last year's entries but then again, maybe not. If it doesn't strike a familiar chord, then consider it my official submission."
Be that as it may, I'm going to check through my "sent" file and see what turns up, if anything. If not - it's another guessing game. Did I mention that my play wasn't among those selected to be performed. Then again maybe I meant to send it but never got around to doing it. Go know!
Monday, September 20, 2010
THE TEA BAG: A SHORT PLAY
By Eleanor Tylbor
Characters:
Fast food server: Punk-look i.e. multi-colored hair,
Long dangly earrings
Customer
Manager (male)
By Eleanor Tylbor
Characters:
Fast food server: Punk-look i.e. multi-colored hair,
Long dangly earrings
Customer
Manager (male)
Scene:
Fast food restaurant. Customer is standing at counter with styrofoam cup in hand
SERVER
Uh-huh?
HAPPY CUSTOMER
Free tea refill, please, herbal if you have it
SERVER
(chewing gum/blows bubbles)
No free refills on tea
NOT-SO-HAPPY-CUSTOMER
You… don't… give refills on tea?
SERVER
Uh-uh. Could you move along?
CUSTOMER
‘Scuse me but you now have an unhappy customer. You do realize that, don’t you?
SERVER
Uh-huh. Next…
CUSTOMER
No free refills on tea
NOT-SO-HAPPY-CUSTOMER
You… don't… give refills on tea?
SERVER
Uh-uh. Could you move along?
CUSTOMER
‘Scuse me but you now have an unhappy customer. You do realize that, don’t you?
SERVER
Uh-huh. Next…
CUSTOMER
(Looking around for signs on wall)
Where does it say they’re no tea refills? I don’t see signs posted anywhere
SERVER
Holding up sign that reads: 'FREE COFFEE REFILLS'
Right…here
Server extends finger and points to sign.
Sticks finger inside her mouth and removes
gum pulling it until it is a long string.
Replaces it back in her mouth. Wipes fingers
on clothes
CUSTOMER
(shaking his head in horror)
Your nails are long, aren’t they? But this says free coffee refills. I want tea
SERVER
They’re not real, the nails I mean. Lost a couple last week and I still haven’t found them. Guess they’ll show up…somewhere
CUSTOMER
(hesitatingly)
My tea? Remember?
SERVER
Like I told you, free coffee refills. Them’s the rules
CUSTOMER
You mean, those are the rules. It’s plural… more than one…
SERVER
Now you want more than one refill? No way, José! Never!
CUSTOMER
I meant…I was just trying to say… Now focus. There’s no logic to your rule. We’re only talking here about one lousy teabag for heaven’s sake. Let’s say…I brought one in here from home?
SERVER
(Silence while she thinks. Pulls gum out of
her mouth in a long strip and replaces it
back into her mouth, wiping hands on blouse)
I gotta ask the manager 'bout that.
Where does it say they’re no tea refills? I don’t see signs posted anywhere
SERVER
Holding up sign that reads: 'FREE COFFEE REFILLS'
Right…here
Server extends finger and points to sign.
Sticks finger inside her mouth and removes
gum pulling it until it is a long string.
Replaces it back in her mouth. Wipes fingers
on clothes
CUSTOMER
(shaking his head in horror)
Your nails are long, aren’t they? But this says free coffee refills. I want tea
SERVER
They’re not real, the nails I mean. Lost a couple last week and I still haven’t found them. Guess they’ll show up…somewhere
CUSTOMER
(hesitatingly)
My tea? Remember?
SERVER
Like I told you, free coffee refills. Them’s the rules
CUSTOMER
You mean, those are the rules. It’s plural… more than one…
SERVER
Now you want more than one refill? No way, José! Never!
CUSTOMER
I meant…I was just trying to say… Now focus. There’s no logic to your rule. We’re only talking here about one lousy teabag for heaven’s sake. Let’s say…I brought one in here from home?
SERVER
(Silence while she thinks. Pulls gum out of
her mouth in a long strip and replaces it
back into her mouth, wiping hands on blouse)
I gotta ask the manager 'bout that.
(An unshaven, heavy-set male with long greasy hair, wearing a tied scarf on his head approaches - grabs the SERVER and kisses her open-mouthed on the lips. They lock lips for 30 seconds)
MANAGER
Later babe
SERVER
Oh Howie – you’re so ro-man-tic!
MANAGER hits server on bum as she EXITS
CUSTOMER
Your…friend there is telling me that refills are good for coffee only . Unfortunately, I’m a tea drinker
MANAGER
That’s your problem – not ours
CUSTOMER
All I need is one lousy cup filled with hot water AND a teabag. I'm not even fussy about the brand at this point, and your water doesn't even have to be boiled properly!
MANAGER
Gonna hav’ta charge you
CUSTOMER
You have to or you want to? This is…tea prejudice!
MANAGER
Whatever that means
CUSTOMER
I shall alert the tea growers of the world regarding your policy and discriminatory attitude towards tea drinkers
MANAGER
Lemme put it this way - I won't stay up nights worrying
CUSTOMER
How many clients have been turned away as a result of this injustice, huh? Thousands – nay – maybe millions even!
MANAGER
Look pal, there's a long line of people behind you so decide, but there ain’t nothing I can do ‘bout it
CUSTOMER
Let's make this simple…
MANAGER
…and fast? I got a line of people who wanna be served
CUSTOMER
One cup of boiled water
MANAGER
(writing on pad)
That it?
CUSTOMER
Now put it in a styrofoam cup…you don’t charge for
styrofoam cups, do you? I mean, you have to pour the hot water into something
MANAGER
I better check corporate headquarters t’find out
CUSTOMER
No need. Consider lending me a teabag. Isn’t that a great idea? Of course it is! You can have it back once I've finished and then pass it on to the next customer. That way we both win
MANAGER
Borrow a tea bag…I dunno 'bout that
CUSTOMER
Be a fast food pioneer and tell the world, 'I’m-going-to-start-giving-free-tea-refills!' Hey! Maybe they’ll write you up in National Geographic! Or National Enquirer - or both! They could even add your photo, too! What’s your name, anyway?
MANAGER
Howard
CUSTOMER
What a normal name for a… I can see the headline now: 'Howard…somebody, manager of the Eat’n’Run, through his pioneering spirit, set the standard for the introduction of free tea refills in his restaurant.' Tea companies could thank you by - um - naming a tea after you! The - um - 'Howard tea bag' – the original pioneering - um - eight cup tea bag
MANAGER
Really? Name a tea bag after me?
CUSTOMER
Think of it as doing your part to help save the planet. Trust me that your average tea drinker won’t mind sharing a used tea bag. You don’t even hav’ta tell head office about your sacrifice! It’ll be our secret…save the earth and all that
Customer is handed teabag and cup. He dunks tea bag in, and then dumps bag
in manager’s hand. Takes sip from cup
CUSTOMER
(shaking his head)
Some people make their lives so complicated
Customer exits
/
Later babe
SERVER
Oh Howie – you’re so ro-man-tic!
MANAGER hits server on bum as she EXITS
CUSTOMER
Your…friend there is telling me that refills are good for coffee only . Unfortunately, I’m a tea drinker
MANAGER
That’s your problem – not ours
CUSTOMER
All I need is one lousy cup filled with hot water AND a teabag. I'm not even fussy about the brand at this point, and your water doesn't even have to be boiled properly!
MANAGER
Gonna hav’ta charge you
CUSTOMER
You have to or you want to? This is…tea prejudice!
MANAGER
Whatever that means
CUSTOMER
I shall alert the tea growers of the world regarding your policy and discriminatory attitude towards tea drinkers
MANAGER
Lemme put it this way - I won't stay up nights worrying
CUSTOMER
How many clients have been turned away as a result of this injustice, huh? Thousands – nay – maybe millions even!
MANAGER
Look pal, there's a long line of people behind you so decide, but there ain’t nothing I can do ‘bout it
CUSTOMER
Let's make this simple…
MANAGER
…and fast? I got a line of people who wanna be served
CUSTOMER
One cup of boiled water
MANAGER
(writing on pad)
That it?
CUSTOMER
Now put it in a styrofoam cup…you don’t charge for
styrofoam cups, do you? I mean, you have to pour the hot water into something
MANAGER
I better check corporate headquarters t’find out
CUSTOMER
No need. Consider lending me a teabag. Isn’t that a great idea? Of course it is! You can have it back once I've finished and then pass it on to the next customer. That way we both win
MANAGER
Borrow a tea bag…I dunno 'bout that
CUSTOMER
Be a fast food pioneer and tell the world, 'I’m-going-to-start-giving-free-tea-refills!' Hey! Maybe they’ll write you up in National Geographic! Or National Enquirer - or both! They could even add your photo, too! What’s your name, anyway?
MANAGER
Howard
CUSTOMER
What a normal name for a… I can see the headline now: 'Howard…somebody, manager of the Eat’n’Run, through his pioneering spirit, set the standard for the introduction of free tea refills in his restaurant.' Tea companies could thank you by - um - naming a tea after you! The - um - 'Howard tea bag' – the original pioneering - um - eight cup tea bag
MANAGER
Really? Name a tea bag after me?
CUSTOMER
Think of it as doing your part to help save the planet. Trust me that your average tea drinker won’t mind sharing a used tea bag. You don’t even hav’ta tell head office about your sacrifice! It’ll be our secret…save the earth and all that
Customer is handed teabag and cup. He dunks tea bag in, and then dumps bag
in manager’s hand. Takes sip from cup
CUSTOMER
(shaking his head)
Some people make their lives so complicated
Customer exits
Friday, September 03, 2010
FLOWER POWER
by Eleanor Tylbor
CHARACTERS:
FLOWER LOVER AND ADMIRER
OWNER OF FLOWER GARDEN
SOUND: STREET TRAFFIC
SCENE: Lush garden filled with flowers, in particular large, colorful flowers in along garden path. Woman walks by, stops, smiles and shakes her head in admiration. Owner of the house and garden, is absorbed in tweaking the various species.
FLOWER LOVER
You have a beautiful garden
(Owner of garden appears not to hear her, is absorbed touching flowers)
FLOWER LOVER
Hello there! I want to compliment you on your garden!
GARDEN OWNER
(caught off guard)
Oh....thank you. I try my best
FLOWER LOVER
Whatever you're doing - keep at it! Every time I walk by, I always stop to admire all the flowers. Your roses in the Spring are spectacular! Never saw such color - and so many of them!
GARDEN OWNER
My husband looked after them. Roses were his favorite
FLOWER LOVER
I could tell but all your flowers are perfection! These are new one's (she touches flower)
GARDEN OWNER
I brought them back from Florida. My cousin gave me a piece and I never thought they would last through the winter
FLOWER LOVER
They did - and then some. I forget the name of them...it's on the tip of my tongue...
GARDEN OWNER
She told me the name but I forget....I should have written it down
FLOWER LOVER
(distracted)
...what is the name now...b-b-b-b-b...no - not B. C-c-c-c-c-c-...It'll come to me soon... Anyway. You do the gardening by yourself or get a professional?
GARDEN OWNER
My husband always did it by himself. You know, we won awards for our garden, two years running!
FLOWER LOVER
I'm not surprised. Perfection and not an insect in sight. Give your husband my congratulations
GARDEN OWNER
I can't
FLOWER LOVER
It doesn't have to be now. Whenever
GARDEN OWNER
My husband died last year
FLOWER LOVER
Oh - I see...I'm so sorry. So you do this all by yourself?
GARDEN OWNER
I hired a gardener. It was just too much for me. I try to handle the weeds but the gardener cuts the grass and takes care of the flowers.
FLOWER LOVER
How do you like having a gardener? I had one and he never did what I wanted him to do. Ended up firing him and doing it by myself. Less aggravation
GARDEN OWNER
I have no choice. I just don't have the strength...my husband used to take care of it all but...
FLOWER LOVER
....D-d-d-d-d-d-... It's no use - I can't think of the name of this flower! Whew - really getting hot! Better finish my walk or the heat will finish me off! Listen - If I think of the name, I'll ring your bell and tell you
GARDEN OWNER
That would be nice. Maybe you want a cutting of the flower?
FLOWER LOVER
I can't - live in a condo. My gardening days are over. I do patio pots now
GARDEN OWNER
You can keep it in a pot for next year
FLOWER LOVER
Thank you but I'll pass. Nice meeting you and keep up the good work!
GARDEN OWNER
(turning around to walk along path)
Lots of weeds...how come the weeds grow so much and so fast...
(garden owner slowly walks down path and disappears through door)
FLOWER LOVER
(starts to walk and stops suddenly)
Hisbiscus! That's it - hisbiscus! The answer always comes when you don't need it anymore. I'll just write it on a piece of paper and drop it off the next time I walk by. Some people really have a green thumb - I should have told her that. Why didn't I tell her?
(FLOWER LOVER exits)
by Eleanor Tylbor
CHARACTERS:
FLOWER LOVER AND ADMIRER
OWNER OF FLOWER GARDEN
SOUND: STREET TRAFFIC
SCENE: Lush garden filled with flowers, in particular large, colorful flowers in along garden path. Woman walks by, stops, smiles and shakes her head in admiration. Owner of the house and garden, is absorbed in tweaking the various species.
FLOWER LOVER
You have a beautiful garden
(Owner of garden appears not to hear her, is absorbed touching flowers)
FLOWER LOVER
Hello there! I want to compliment you on your garden!
GARDEN OWNER
(caught off guard)
Oh....thank you. I try my best
FLOWER LOVER
Whatever you're doing - keep at it! Every time I walk by, I always stop to admire all the flowers. Your roses in the Spring are spectacular! Never saw such color - and so many of them!
GARDEN OWNER
My husband looked after them. Roses were his favorite
FLOWER LOVER
I could tell but all your flowers are perfection! These are new one's (she touches flower)
GARDEN OWNER
I brought them back from Florida. My cousin gave me a piece and I never thought they would last through the winter
FLOWER LOVER
They did - and then some. I forget the name of them...it's on the tip of my tongue...
GARDEN OWNER
She told me the name but I forget....I should have written it down
FLOWER LOVER
(distracted)
...what is the name now...b-b-b-b-b...no - not B. C-c-c-c-c-c-...It'll come to me soon... Anyway. You do the gardening by yourself or get a professional?
GARDEN OWNER
My husband always did it by himself. You know, we won awards for our garden, two years running!
FLOWER LOVER
I'm not surprised. Perfection and not an insect in sight. Give your husband my congratulations
GARDEN OWNER
I can't
FLOWER LOVER
It doesn't have to be now. Whenever
GARDEN OWNER
My husband died last year
FLOWER LOVER
Oh - I see...I'm so sorry. So you do this all by yourself?
GARDEN OWNER
I hired a gardener. It was just too much for me. I try to handle the weeds but the gardener cuts the grass and takes care of the flowers.
FLOWER LOVER
How do you like having a gardener? I had one and he never did what I wanted him to do. Ended up firing him and doing it by myself. Less aggravation
GARDEN OWNER
I have no choice. I just don't have the strength...my husband used to take care of it all but...
FLOWER LOVER
....D-d-d-d-d-d-... It's no use - I can't think of the name of this flower! Whew - really getting hot! Better finish my walk or the heat will finish me off! Listen - If I think of the name, I'll ring your bell and tell you
GARDEN OWNER
That would be nice. Maybe you want a cutting of the flower?
FLOWER LOVER
I can't - live in a condo. My gardening days are over. I do patio pots now
GARDEN OWNER
You can keep it in a pot for next year
FLOWER LOVER
Thank you but I'll pass. Nice meeting you and keep up the good work!
GARDEN OWNER
(turning around to walk along path)
Lots of weeds...how come the weeds grow so much and so fast...
(garden owner slowly walks down path and disappears through door)
FLOWER LOVER
(starts to walk and stops suddenly)
Hisbiscus! That's it - hisbiscus! The answer always comes when you don't need it anymore. I'll just write it on a piece of paper and drop it off the next time I walk by. Some people really have a green thumb - I should have told her that. Why didn't I tell her?
(FLOWER LOVER exits)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)