A change of direction for "Seeds" - Mr. Bird fades in

Been adding to "Seeds" although not as often as I like or should. Progress is dependent upon sudden brain storms or those rare but very welcome "eureka!" moments that give clarification to the story line.

Somehow, and after reading over what currently exists, there seems to be - at least in my mind - that the direction the play is taking is too predictable bordering on blech.
The subject, an accidental meeting of two people in a park, one of whom seems to have what could be best described as an unusual gravitation to pigeons, is interesting. However - as mentioned numerous times in this blog, it's always the 'howevers' in life that get you - it's too ordinary and needed a shake-up. So...

A new character has been added. Elwood P. Dowd had his rabbit, Harvey, and now Sylvia Perkins has joined his league with her friend of a feather, Mr. Bird, a pigeon.

Following yet another run in with Hal, a  park supervisor, who wants to maintain cleanliness and limit the appearance of pigeon poo in his territory, Julie feels a moral responsibility to help Sylvia. The two return to Julie's apartment and at the mention of the word "bath" and a failed attempt to remove Sylvia's weather-worn rain coat, Mr. Bird suddenly puts in an appearance, in a manner of speaking.  Maybe it'll work and maybe it won't - hav'ta see where this will take me, if anywhere. If not, it'll be yet another return to the drawing/re-writing board.

Yet another snippet of dialogue from "Seeds." Julie attempts to convince Sylvia to stay for supper and warm up. When 'speaking' with Mr. Bird, Sylvia turns her head to the side

JULIE

How about a plain, old American cheese sandwich and a coffee? Indulge me as your new friend. Look – it’s snowing out so why not wait until morning. This couch opens up into a bed and at least you'll have a full stomach and a night's sleep. It's better than a park bench

SYLVIA

You’re very kind but I can’t possibly stay. It’s getting late and my friends will be wondering where I am

(Turns her head to the side) ‘I know, Mr. Bird. I’m trying to explain our need to leave…’

JULIE

Really, Mr. Bird, one night in a warm bed won’t make a difference in the scheme of things. Wouldn’t that be better than hanging out in a park or building heating ducts? This is getting more weird by the minute… I’m definitely losing it. Next I'll be talking to squirrels. Correct me if I’m wrong here, Sylvia, but there’s only two people in this room, you and me, right?

          SYLVIA Recoils in horror and backs away

SYLVIA

How could you be so cruel? You’re just like all the other humans we meet. No feelings whatsoever for those less-fortunate who have to survive living on the generosity of others and on the cusp of society. You have hurt Mr. Bird’s feelings for the last time. We are leaving (turns her head to the side) ‘I’m ready to leave if you are, Mr. B’

JULIE

Please – wait. Perhaps I’ve acted too hastily. After all, we’re still at the getting to know you, stage, and I don’t want to threaten our budding friendship with misunderstandings. How about this: you and – um – Mr. Bird stay for a bite and I’ll give you a bag of peanuts to take back. Don’t believe I’m actually making a deal that involves a…

SYLVIA

(turning her head to the side)

‘What do you think? I mean, she is trying…then there's a bag of peanuts at the end… You’re in agreement, then?’ We have accepted your apology

 

          SYLVIA starts laughing

‘That is like…so funny. Where do you pick up those funny gems? 

JULIE

Am I missing something?

SYLVIA

(continuing to laugh hysterically)

It’s Mr. Bird – he has such a weird sense of humor and especially adroit telling jokes. He wants me to pass along one he heard in the park: you can never lose a homing pigeon. If he doesn’t come back, what you’ve lost is a pigeon

          (SYLVIA laughs uproariously)

 

You are such a joker, Mr. Bird!’ Mr. Bird wants to know what you think of his joke. It’s one of his best

JULIE

Humor is subjective, especially bird humor. Weird – don’t recall you introducing Mr. Bird when we first met

SYLVIA

He’s a free spirit. Comes and goes when the mood hits him. He’s really taken to you. Usually he only hangs around for a few minutes

Planting "Seeds" - a name is a name is name...

Still making progress with "Seeds" but there are signs of a slow down, which is par for the course. It's at the point where that distressing word, "blocked" begins to seep through  the conscious writing areas of my brain  and doubts emerge like, "maybe the story line isn't strong enough" or nagging questions that include "do you know where you're going with this?"

Rather than plug away and continue to write as is suggested in writing manuals and advocated by writing professionals, I use this as a time for reflection. Translation: time to take a rest and think about stuff. Important stuff like an analysis of the characters names and whether they match their personalities. The issue of  "Hal" the latest character addition, is on the analysis block. Initially, Hal was "Chuck" and before that he assumed the temporary name of "Steve." Not that there's anything wrong with any of the above-mentioned names but the names had to have a certain mental image to match the dialogue. Important issues must be scrutinized, for example, does the name, Hal, have a park employee feel to it? As in, "Hal - a dog is off leash and chasing squirrels" type issue.

The female characters are also under review including "Sylvia" who was one of two players in the original short version of "Seeds." Assessing her character strength and longevity involved walks around the neighborhood repeating her name to decide if the name suited her personality. Did receive some suspicious looks from passer-bys but that's goes with the play writing territory. Somehow, "Julie", was never in question and seems right - so far - depending on how things progress. More delays could mean that Julie might be re-born with a new stage name.

At present I'm thinking as to whether should there be a head pigeon leading the park pigeons into a rebellion and if so, whether she/he should have a name. Further thoughts require a deep study into a strong pigeon name. Perhaps "Thor" or "Xena"..."Sunny" and whether the pigeons should have the ability to communicate to their humans in English or stick strictly to their well-known, "brrpps."

It's always a good thing to have one's writing priorities in the right place.

Playwright ponders her plays

Right now, people reading this are probably saying to themselves, "Eleanor hasn't given us any updates on her plays. I'd love to know how things are going with her." Okay - maybe the last sentence is a bit presumptuous on my part but maybe there are persons 'out there' who are curious.

Actually, I've been focusing a lot of my effort searching for a new literary address for my "babies." This includes cyber queries as to whether they would be welcome, to be followed by the actual execution (sounds so macabre) of hitting the 'send' key taking the plays on their cyber journeys. Waiting to receive news and/or updates on their suitability is stressful especially since theatres frequently restrict their responses to playwrights with plays in which they have an interest. It somehow doesn't seem logical to send a follow up if, say, there has been no response for a lengthy period of time. Then again, perhaps a reminder could be helpful:


"Dear blah-blah,

You might not remember me but five years ago (maybe more), I submitted my play to you/your theater/your literary manager. Having never heard back, I'm wondering if perhaps you never received it or somehow, it got deleted in your files (these things happen). Let me know if you'd like me to re-send the play and I'd be happy to oblige.

Yours in waiting,

Eleanor
(P.S. I'd very much appreciate it if you could advise me as to which play I sent you, since my cat did a dance on my keyboard and lost many of my files).


In as far as the plays themselves, I'm reviewing the content of "Retribution" with the intent of submitting it to an interesting competition. At the half-way point, I've made some minor changes but still very pleased with the overall content. The subject matter definitely isn't for everybody but the play itself  is a riveting drama.

Haven't read "Old Soldiers" since receiving the rejection advisement notice a few months ago. I had a gut feeling that it was on its way but it didn't make its reception any easier. A bit of ranting and raving occurred for a day or two followed by avowing to re-write. Thing is with rejection notices, rarely is there an accompanying explanation as to the reasons for the refusal, consequently there is always the nagging question as to why and what went wrong. In any case, time for a re-evaluation and the dastardly re-write(s) that will follow. It will require a complete overhaul having been written for radio and we'll have to see whether it's even feasible to turn it into a play. Some characters will have to be dropped in addition to scene changes and adaptations.

The newest playwriting project, "Storm Warning" is on the front burner. I've completed four scenes and I'm thinking some character sketches are required to define the purpose of everyone and where they fit into the story line.

One of my oldie but definitely good play, "Dead Writes" parts of which I've shared here in this blog, requires finishing. Actually, it needs a middle before it can be ended. A comedy, the play has been started and abandoned a number of times. Maybe not "abandoned" since this implies finality. Let's say - put to rest in cyber space for periods.  No particular reason other than I became distracted with other projects.

Finally, I'm toying with idea of writing a play based on a young teenage girl and her experiences growing up in the 1960's, while attending high school. Let's just say it's something I know about intimately. First though it back to work on Old Soldiers...maybe Dead Writes should be a priority since it's an older play...then again, Storm Warning is a fun challenge... Procrastination thy name is Eleanor.

WORTHY MENTIONS DEPT.

A "heads up" on an opening night.  "Belle Soeurs: The Musical" by well-known Montreal playwright, Michel Tremblay, starts tomorrow and runs until November 9, at the Segal Centre theatre in Montreal. Tremblay who writes in French, has had his plays translated into English and this production differs this time round in that it is a musical. Definitely worth attending. Break a leg wishes extended to all involved.
http://www.segalcentre.org/whats-on/upcoming-events/theatre-3/segal-theatre/belles-soeurs-the-musical/

Whereas the playwright has a conversation with the main character of  "Old Soldiers", JOE MCKENNA


PLAYWRIGHT
Joe! You old son-of-a-...gun. How are things going with you?

JOE MCKENNA
Cut the crap, Eleanor. You know very well I'm looking for direction

PLAYWRIGHT
You mean, you're lost? How so?

JOE MCKENNA
You keep changing my focus so often, I'm getting dizzy. When are you gonna make up your mind once and for all?

PLAYWRIGHT
It's not for lack of trying. I start out in one direction and then suddenly realize that I'm sending you on a wild goose chase

JOE MCKENNA
How well I know that! Now what are you gonna do with my army buddies? They're obviously important since you put them in the first scene

PLAYWRIGHT
That's the dilemma right now. I love their characters and I love the dialogue that flows out of their mouths, but they have to have something to offer in the way of justification

JOE MCKENNA
They're my friends. That's all they need

PLAYWRIGHT
True...but I want their input to be meaningful. To have an impact on the story. Do you like where they're at now?

JOE MCKENNA
Can't really say for sure - yet. It could work and then again the whole damn thing could fall apart

PLAYWRIGHT
What about the new characters?

JOE MCKENNA
Potential...they could be interesting.

PLAYWRIGHT
Well, if all goes according to plan, they will all have impact on each other

JOE MCKENNA
Sorry - I don't get it

PLAYWRIGHT
Hopefully, as time goes on, you will

JOE MCKENNA
Promises...promises...

PLAYWRIGHT
Trust me

JOE MCKENNA
Do I have a choice? Gotta leave. I have a feeling the guys are meeting up at the pub. 'I'm comin' fellas...I'm comin'! We are, right?

Note: comments, both pro and con, appreciated by reading the snippet of the play here:  http://a-playwrights-ramblings.blogspot.ca/2012/08/just-reading-over-old-soldiers-to.html

Playwright is somewhat depressed but "Chicago" was a spirit-lifter.

At this point in time with less than a week to go, my "Old Soldiers" may get a year older. In spite of an intensive thrust or effort to finish the BBC Radio International Playwriting competition entry, there is still some i.e. about 12 pages, work to be done.

"For heaven's sake, Eleanor...this is not the first time you've delayed entering the competition!" my inner playwright/muse is telling me.

Unfortunately very true. One of my main problems is having to add sound effects. It means, at least in my mind, that there has to be a lot going on and Old Soldiers is dialogue-heavy. When re-reading newly added dialogue, there doesn't seem to be a reason or place for a sound.

In any case, let's say...the play was completed at this point. It would not be edited yet and to enter a competition for the sake of entering is not a good idea. All that work and believe me there was a lot of work and focus on writing the play, would be for nothing.

So once again, I'm farklempt, at least at this point, having not reached my goal of entering a play. Perhaps taking a story and converting it into a radio play wasn't a realistic option. Really - I don't know. Unless there is an extension, I'm out of it for this year. Again.

"CHICAGO" - THE MUSICAL IS A FUN EXPERIENCE

On a more upbeat note and while visiting NYC, we caught the musical, "Chicago", which never fails to please and entertain. Although it was a minimalist production in that there were no costume or set changes, the music and choreography more than made up for this aspect of the show. Another interesting facet was to have the orchestra on stage with the conductor contributing some lines of dialogue. We had booked to see a revival of "Anything Goes",  which unexpectedly ended its run. Too bad because we had been looking forward to this show. Given the uncertain economy, seems that Broadway is going with the safe-and-sure audience favorites, although Anything Goes has gone.

My "Old Soldiers" are getting antsy and so am I. A few weeks to go to finish up their story and I'm experiencing a slight case - not full...yet - of panic.

I've been adding dialogue regularly and am satisfied with the progression of the story line. My concern, however - it's always the 'howevers' in life that will get you - is the lack of sound effects. Normally, my focus would be on the dialogue but given the nature of the medium, obviously sound plays an important part. The dialogue itself (IMHO) is good, I'm satisfied with the character development and the scenes are logical. But...

"So explain the problem(s) and/or concerns for us, Eleanor."

The first scene takes place in a pub and sound effects include the buzz of people chatting, glasses clinking, a juke-box producing music. That's it, folks! Suggestions here would be appreciated!

Subsequent scenes focus on the "gang of three" i.e. Joe's friends, studying Joe from afar from their vantage point in a small sports car, Joe's conversation while travelling on the bus and talking to friends at a park.

Haven't decided yet which scenario to follow leading to the finale. There are three possibilities and I can't make up my mind which one to pursue. Another concern is that for whatever reason, didn't note that the play has a 55 page limit and I was working on a 70-odd page limitation. The play as I write it, is taking on a life of its own and I'm not sure it can be completed as a radio play in the alloted time.

"So what's the probability of it being adaptable for a radio play?"

It could go either way depending on which route so to speak, it goes. Meanwhile, there are choices to be made and decision to be taken. Will share more thoughts as they occur.

"Give us another update on your play re-write, Eleanor"

So I check into Facebook as is my habit, and I notice that the BBC has added a blurb that entries are already rolling in for the BBC International Playwriting Competition. They're very excited but I, on the other hand, am verklempt. Rough translation: pffffft. Then again and thinking further, perhaps those early-bird playwrights already had a 60 min. play and all they had to do was submit it. Or, perhaps, their muse paid them a visit (lucky them!). Meanwhile, I'm still working on an ending. You would think that an ending should be easy, You know the story-line, you know the characters and logically, one should know the ending. When does logic enter in the pictures, anyway? In reading playwriting blogs and pieces by seasoned playwrights, they are of the opinion that one should know the ending before embarking on writing the play. What worries me is that all my completed plays were written with ease from beginning to end. In "Neighbors", I'm already experincing problems.

I've reached the 28 page stage, which would be just over a 20-minute short play. It was written initially as a 20 minute short play and then re-written as a full play in the making, and now adapted to a sixty minute play. Maybe it was a good idea at the time but...

I'm already getting jumpy about having it ready for the deadline - but this is an old story.

"So what is the problem, girl?".

One character, Rob Portman, has a love interest, which is interesting but I'm not sure if I'm going off on a tangent moving in this direction. She is the only female character in the play and I'm not sure whether she's really ncessary.

Questions I'm asking myself:

- why have I included her
- what does she add to the story, if anything

She would reveal a tender side of Rob and elicit sympathy to his character, but then does he need sympathy?

Lots of questions and a lot of searching for answers, for sure.

My old soldiers are waiting for direction. I know where they're coming from!

The end of the year is almost here and that means a mere four months to work on re-working my short story, "Old Soldiers" in the hope of converting it into a radio play to enter in the British Council International Radio Playwriting Competition . The characters need flushing out and some type of direction as to their purpose.

"That's all, Eleanor? Piece of cake!"

On were it that easy.

Having never attempted writing a radio play, I'm somewhat intimidated. I mean, to what degree will the correct writing form for radio count?

"Oh look. The sound effects are on the wrong side of the page," a BBC reader might comment to another reader, after which it might be tossed on the slush pile.

To my credit (pat-pat on the back) I've made some progress and added dialogue but the challenge is the necessity of providing those tricky sound effects. This means that there has to be action, which can be heard and that will propel the story along. You just can't have the characters hang around say...a pub and talk. They have to do something to catch the listeners ear.

A purpose and reason for being there is required. Therein lies (or lay...whatever) the challenge.

A character chart would help me define the varous characteristics of the personalities, but I've never used one in the past. Then again, I've never tried writing a radio play. The ending seems logical but the trip to get there has to be refined.

Joe McKenna would understand.

Here's a small snippet of dialogue taken from the re-write as the "old soldiers" prepare to leave for a fellow soldier's funeral


AL

So who’s going to Percy’s funeral?

JOE
I am…and so is Mac

MIKE
Me too

AL
I’d like to go. There are so few of us left. Look at me with a walker. We were his friends for umpteen years and I mean, the man deserves some type of recognition. It's the least we can do. Can anyone give me a lift? So damn hard to climb up the bus steps and the bus drivers get so impatient...

MIKE
I'll bring along our flag. It's getting so thin I can see through it

JOE
Just like us. Old and worn out

THE GOOD AND THE NOT-SO-GOOD UPDATE


"So Eleanor - tell us whether you submitted your revised and almost completely re-written play, "Old Soldiers" to the BBC International Playwriting Competition."


Missed the deadline for BBC International Playwriting Competition. It's so demoralizing. In spite of all my good intentions, that's as far as it got: good intentions. It couldn't be done - at least in time for this year. So what else is new but there's always next year. Even if nothing else, I'll have another play to submit.

It's not that the story line is weak but it requires a complete 're-think-through' and revisions that can't be made quickly. For example, in the re-write the opening has been changed to a bar (or pub) whereas in the short story, it was in Joe McKenna's apartment where he was alone with his thoughts and the occasional out-loud comment. It could work on stage but IMHO, not for radio.

Also added characters, Joe's friends and veterans, who meet at a bar/pub to toast another fallen old soldier - hence the name of the play. It's important to know why Joe et all feel the way they do. They are relics from another era who are suffering the ravages of old age. They are alone and in spite of their bickering, depend on each other for social inter-action and solace. Their medications require monetary output that they can't afford and their quality of life is limited.

Debating whether to introduce the character of Joe's landlady who does not presently exist and if so, whether or not she should be sympathetic or quite simply, mean. Also toying with the idea of adding a young boy or girl into the mix when Joe is in the park attending ceremonies. As they say: out of the mouths of babes, comes the real truth and clarity.

As stated - story is still in the revision/thinking things over, stage.

Meanwhile, went on the BBC site and read over a page focusing on writing a radio script, and another piece on hints for radio. Very helpful. Will print up the pages and keep them handy.


"Any good news to share with us, perhaps?"
Passed along my comedy play, "A Wedding!" to an aquaintance/actor/etc. for C&C and received a positive feedback. This was the first play I wrote and a personal favorite, although "Gin..." is funnier, again IMHO. This lifted my spirits although he suggested that I cut 10 pages.

Cut 10 pages??? Is that all???

This would mean I would have to consider yet another umpteenth re-write and I'm really not sure if I'm prepared to make a drastic change of this nature, at least not at this point. I'll think about it. Any positive feedback is an incentive to hang in but it gets harder. Perhaps the plays just aren't stage-worthy...then again, perhaps they are! Go know!

Meanwhile in order to keep my brain in a dialogue frame of mind, I'm going to start writing some more short pieces focusing on the adventures of Barbie and Ken and friends, and more scenes from life: a short playette. The latter are fun to write.

This best sums it all up: "If I write a new play, my point of view may be profoundly modified. I may be obliged to contradict myself and I may no longer know whether I still think what I think."
EUGENE IONESCO, Notes and Counter Notes

OLD SOLDIERS -THE BBC INTERNATIONAL RADIO PLAY COMP. : RE-WRITE PROGRESS UPDATE

Slowly revising the story and adding/modifying dialogue. Also added a character (or more) and changed some of the locations. The fiction story opens in Joe McKenna's apartment and I've changed it to Joe and friends getting together to toast an old soldier's demise, at a bar. It seemed that this would be something that a group of old vets would do.

I'm working on flushing out the various characters but I have to be careful that they're not "throw-away" people that will be dropped along the way. They have to be part of the story line. I like the 'feel' of the dialogue - so far. My problem has never been with writing dialogue - I'm strong in this area but to keep the story on track. To this end I'm going back to something I used to do, which is to write an outline.

The challenge, at least for me, is sound effects. In the bar, there is background music and the sound of people talking. The next scene will be in Joe's apartment, which is problematic sound-wise. Mind you he will be talking to his dog... The dog's responses are limited in speech-lolol. Then again, perhaps I'll have somebody drop by, which still won't give me more sound effects...

Definitely need an outline.

GIMME SPACE
BY ELEANOR TYLBOR

SCENE: A PHARMACY OR ANYWHERE, ACTUALLY. THREE PEOPLE ARE WAITING TO PAY FOR ITEMS AT THE CASH.

CUSTOMER 1
(placing item on counter along with umbrella)
Just going to put this down here... Ooops - didn't mean to crowd anyone

CUSTOMER 2
(directly behind)
No problem. I'll just move my items back a bit to give you some more room

CUSTOMER 1
Don't worry about it. It's only a jar of jam.

CUSTOMER 2
Is it good. I mean, have you had some before?

CUSTOMER 1
Nope. First time. It was on special at nine-nine cents. Mind you, it's only good for 10 more days...
CUSTOMER 2
Do you eat a lot of jam?

CUSTOMER 1
Depends on the day. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Depends how jammy I'm feeling.

CUSTOMER 3
(in front of line)
I'm here!

CUSTOMER 1
Sorry?

CUSTOMER 3
I'm here, too.

CUSTOMER 1
I see

CUSTOMER 3
I need room for my things

CUSTOMER 1
O-kay...

CUSTOMER 3
Could you give me some room for my things, please?

CUSTOMER 1 looks at her for a few seconds, down at her items and moves the umbrella and jam away from CUSTOMER 3

CUSTOMER 3
Your umbrella is wet and it's touching my toilet paper!

CUSTOMER 1
That would be as a result of the pouring rain outside

CUSTOMER 3
You're making the counter wet

CUSTOMER 1
O-kay...sorry but the cashier is doing your items and you'll be outta here, soon

CUSTOMER 3
Still, your umbrella takes up a lot of space

CUSTOMER 1
I already removed it off the counter and moved back my jam so it won't touch your items

CUSTOMER 3
But you made the counter all wet

CUSTOMER 1
(putting hand in purse, produces Kleenex and wipes counter)
There! Allll gone!

CUSTOMER 3 grabs bag

CUSTOMER 3
There should be a sign posted telling people they can't put wet umbrellas on the counter!

CUSTOMER 3 storms out of store

CUSTOMER 1
Some people just gotta have their space!

(turns to CUSTOMER 2)

Oh gee - am I dripping water on your feet? I'm so sorry...here let me wipe them...

BARBIE AND KEN DO TOY STORY 3

SCENE: BARBIE, FAMOUS FASHIONISTA AND KEN, HER ON-AGAIN, OFF-AGAIN SIGNIFICANT OTHER, LOUNGE BY THE POOL. BARBIE IS READING "PEOPLE" WHILE KEN SHINES HIS SURF BOARD.


BARBIE
I just don't get why they don't do a feature on us. I mean, we're famous celebs. Look at me - I'm beautiful...and I wear designer clothes and I'm famous. Why? Why? What's wrong with us!


KEN
(caressing and cleaning his surfboard)
You are so smooth, my little surfing beauty...up and down, up and down...I love your body...


(KEN lifts his surfboard to an upright position and kisses the surface)


BARBIE
...like...we show up at all the new club openings and they still ignore us... Oh Gawd, Ken! That is like...soooo disgusting - and sick! What is it with you and that piece of wood?



KEN
(suddenly dropping the surfboard)
This is part of who I am, Barb - besides - I carved this with my very own hands


BARBIE
- I told you not to call me Barb -


KEN
- whoever -


BARBIE
- not that either -


KEN
- okay already! Anywaaay - me and Surfy here have been together like...forever! (caresses surface of board) We have so much in common


BARBIE
Surfy? You gave your surfboard a name? Oh that is like...even more sick. Then again, you both have the same sized brain


KEN
Thank you! Hear that, Surfy? Barbie says we both think alike!


(BARBIE returns to reading magazine as KEN shines surfboard again)


BARBIE
You are one weird puppy Ken...


(suddenly, there is the sound of machine gun firing off rounds)


KEN
Surf's up! Me and Surfy will be back soon


(KEN grabs surfboard and starts to leave)


BARBIE
Sit down, Ken. It's only G.I. Joe


(G.I. Joe descends down on to the deck area of the pool, from a hovering helicopter)


G.I. JOE
Barbie babe! Wa'cha doin' here with this sissy boy? Why'd you leave without telling me where you were going? It's gettin' harder and harder to find you!


BARBIE
But...you...always do, don't you Joe?


G.I. JOE
No matter where you go on this planet - I'll always follow your trail


BARBIE
Heaven knows I've tried to lose it


G.I. JOE
Babe - what are 'ya doin' livin' here with...him?


BARBIE
I got tired of living in the jungle, Joe! A fashionista like me needs more in life than mosquito netting


G.I. JOE
But... I shared everything I have with you

BARBIE
Really Joe - it's very unnerving having to use crates filled with hand grenades as a table and I'm tired of losing new friends that end up as a main course for Cuddles, your boa constrictor

G.I. JOE

Look - you gotta admit that he's is the best on guard duty. I'll ditch Cuddles, okay? Let's just leave this outhouse

KEN
Outhouse? You call this an outhouse? I'll have you know that this was given to me a thank you for my role in a movie!

G.I. Joe
Oh yeah? What was the name of this so-called movie? 'Sissy-boy loves surfboard'? Ha-ha-ha...

BARBIE
Um - Joe...I was in the movie, too. I-I moved in with Ken.

G.I.JOE
After all we been to each other, babe, you're bailing on me? I shared everything I have wid you!

BARBIE
Exactly. That's why I'm staying here in La-La-Land where I belong, in this beautiful mansion with the beautiful people. Uh-oh... Look at the time. We have a dinner party with our new friends.

KEN
(caressing his surfboard)
Um - I think I'm gonna pass on that. You know I'm not into that kind of stuff

BARBIE
Oh fer... Fine. Stay here but don't call me if you get splinters, again.

(helicopter descends and G.I. JOE climbs up ladder)

G.I. JOE
You're gonna miss me, babe! You know where to find me

BARBIE
Not if I can help it

(voices call Barbie by name)

BARBIE
Sure you won't change your mind, Ken?

KEN
...so warm and welcoming, my Surfy...

BARBIE

'I'm coming Woody and Buzz!'

BARBIE runs off to meet her new friends

Whereas artist, Dutch artist Johan van der Dong set up a local telephone number so that people can communicate with God.

THE GOD CALL
By Eleanor Tylbor

CHARACTERS:
PHIL
G-D

SCENE:

An office or den. A student is sitting at a desk covered with books. A cell phone rings and the student glances at it to see whose calling.

PHIL
Oh G-d…I'm never gonna be ready for my exams.

(phone rings)

G-D
Hello is this Phil? This is G-d returning your phone call.

PHIL
(sarcastically)
Hi…um - God. Talk about an ego! Get a life, pal! Listen – some of us hav'ta study for exams

G-D

Don't hang up! Really. I'm Him. G-d? The Big Guy? The All Powerful and Mighty?

PHIL
Surrrrre. Uh-huh. Brian – you're so lame!

G-D

Truly – I'm not – what's his name? Brian?. My persona has always been a source of speculation and strife - the two big "S's" - among religions. I heard you call my name not five minutes ago.

PHIL
I know it's you, Brian, you jerk! You by yourself at Marios? Manager leave early?

G-D

Listen - I have a lot of return phone calls to make. Gazillions, even...all over the planet, earth. Then I have to look in on the wars and the dying people...

PHIL

You're such a jerk! Okay. If you insist. I'll take one all-dressed pizza and one vegetarian. This time make sure it's hot or no tip for you!

G-D

Seriously, I'm not Brian. I'm really - G-d!

PHIL
You always did have a big ego, Brian! Now you're calling yourself G-d? Oh you're gonna get smited!

G-D

Have it your way. One all-dressed pizza and one vegetarian. Why do I bother?"

PHIL

Don't you want my new address? I moved last week!

G-D

Trust me - I know. Now if there's nothing else, I have a lot of phone calls to make.

PHIL

Actually, there is one more very important thing you can do for me.

G-D
Is it a confession you want to make my son? I'm here for you. There's nothing so bad that can't be forgiven.

PHIL
Yeah – sure. Can you send along an order of onion rings?

SAME OLD, SAME OLD

by Eleanor Tylbor

So Eleanor, it's been a while since any new updates have been provided. How are things going with you in the playwriting arena?

Same old, same old. Still pursuing that evasive first play production and sending out queries to various competitions and theatres. Whenever I send out my play followed by that inevitable wait for a response, I've managed to convince myself that a long wait indicates that they/a theatre really like it and want to discuss it's merits among themselves.

"Hey Paul (or Jessica or whoever) - did you read that Tylbor play? Wasn't it hysterical? We gotta find a place for it this season!"

If this were only the case!

Also been re-reading some of my older plays and evaluating the dialogue and plots. Frequently, the concept that perhaps I only have two full plays in me surfaces. It took me almost two years to write them and umpteen years: translation: still updating, years to perfect them to the point they are now. Anyway...

Each day I check into my favorite playwriting site, The Playwright's Forum. The forum, which in my opinion is one of the best playwright-related places on the Web, is moderated by Edward Crosby-Wells and Paddy who keep things running smoothly. The site is a gathering place for both professional and neophyte professionals who offer advice and critiques when asked, in addition to sharing 'calls-for-submission' that come up. It is also the place to share successes and bemoan bad reviews or not-so-successes. On occasion and to encourage playwrights, Edd holds two-page contests for a real prize. It's a very nurturing place to hang out and highly recommended for playwrights of all levels.

When it comes to tweaking - I'm right up there. I can agonize over the meaning of a word for hours. Realistically, it's obvious that the misuse or misplacement of a word ain't gonna make a whole lot of difference or impact on whether a theatre will accept a play or not. Frequently, I get bogged down with stupid details. For example in my short, "Elvis: The Real Story" I spent 45 minutes assessing whether I should rename my female character whose current name is "Tammy." So I'm thinking: maybe Tammy is an outdated name. Perhaps another more current name like Emily, Sharon, Amanda could make a difference. This is usually followed by a period of self-deprecation and a general internal rant of "why-do-I-continue-this-continuous-search-for-recognition" to be followed by a general acknowledgement of my ability and creativity to use the right words in an entertaining way.

I've also decided it's time to add to one of my plays-in-the-making, "Dead Writes", which I started and have added to over the years. In my humble opinion, it's got potential and the makings of a good story. It's a comedy-come-mystery-come-love-story, which is always popular. The more I write about it, the more appeal it has.

Let's see now...I've wasted two hours and the characters of Dead Writes are beckoning. I'm coming Felicia. Just wondering...perhaps Felicia is not an appropriate name.


http://www.stageplays-forum.com/<

SOME-WHERRRRRE OUT THERRRRE...

By Eleanor Tylbor


Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and my play to-night...
Somewhere out there someone's (me) saying a prayer
That they'll find my play enter-tain-ing and produce it somewhere.


And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps one (me) to cope by wishing on a star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
Perhaps some big producer is dreaming of my witty lineeeees.


Somewhere out there if belief can see me through
Then we'll be together out there
Where dreams come true
In a theatre somewhere, where dreams come true

(with appologies to song writers James Horner, Barry Mann, Cynthia Weil)

Once again I've submitted two of my short-shorts, 20-minutes-and-under-plays to two theatres that shall remain nameless because I'm superstitious and it just could jinx things. Actually...given my success rate thus far, which is zero, nada, bubkis... Anyway, I'm hopeful that at least one of the two will be considered. More than considered. I want them to be produced!

I'm really upbeat (she said for the umpteenth time) having re-read them and laughed a lot. We're talking genuine laughter at being amused at the wit and cleverness of my lines. What else do we playwrights have but hope?

So now it's that dreaded period awaiting to receive news one way or the other. Hopefully not the other.

"THANK YOU FOR LETTING US GET TO KNOW YOUR WORK..."
BY ELEANOR TYLBOR



You know you're far from achieving your goal of getting a play produced when you forget to whom, when and where they were submitted.


This hit home when once again, as is the case too many times in the past, another rejection notification greeted me in my e-mail. Actually, it came as quite a surprise since I had slowed down - read stopped - submitting my play(s) for approximately six months. A short rest I told myself, will help restart the creative process although how not submitting could achieve this was not clear. Still, I did it anyway.


Yesterday I received a rejection notice from a theatre I had somehow neglected to list in my sending-it-but-not-holding-my-breath list of "potentials." It was your usual polite thanks-but-no-thanks type rejection. You know - thanks for submitting but your script is not a good fit? That type.


However, it was the added, "we appreciated the chance to get to know your work."


O-kaaaay...


Reading this sentence over a few times it struck me that they could get to know my work a hell of a lot better if they would have produced it. We could have probably established a good working relationship. I mean, I would have been open to re-writes...changes in character names... The director and producer, actors and everyone involved could have worked together to ensure that the play would have been a smash! Be that as it may it will never be.

Sure the company member that signed the rejection notice wished me the best in my writing. They always do. If he really had my best interests at heart then he would have produced the play, no?


Anyway, the notice will join all the others but now I'm wondering how many others are "out there" waiting to make an appearance in my inbox. Ignorance is bliss.

BARBIE, KEN & THE REST IN PLASTICVILLE: the continuing saga of life among the plastic people
By Eleanor Tylbor

Our story so far:

BARBIE, KEN, G.I. JOE and their plastic "sisters" and "brothers" were relegated by circumstances beyond their control to live out their lives in relative obscurity, packed away in boxes in a warehouse…somewhere. At the point G.I. Joe, always the soldier was about to blast their way out of the warehouse, they were set free due to some unexpected legal proceedings and a court case. Once again, they continue to live out their lives in Plasticville.

SCENE:
BARBIE, ever the fashionista, is in her designer bedroom filled to capacity with designer clothes, trying to decide what to wear

BARBIE
Like…I can't believe I'm actually back in my designer home again with all my designer outfits, waiting to be tried on! Bend my arms a little, Ken. That's better. Now pass me those Dolce and Gabanna outfits. No – gimme the Gucci… No – I'm in a Stella McCartney-ish mood…

(G.I. Joe and Ken rush over to grab a handful of new outfits and fight each other to be thee first to hand them to her)

G.I. JOE
Get…out'ta…my…way…surfer…stupid-o! She was talking to ME!

KEN
Stupid-o? Look who's calling me stupid-o. Mr. Soldier Boy who blew off his own foot with a grenade! I'm her favourite and always will be! Right Barb babe?

G.I. JOE
Hey! That was an unforeseen accident. Anyway, I got another one. She wants a real man and that's why I'm here!

KEN
(distracted, looking off in the distance)Is that a wave I hear? Is surf up?

BARBIE
Ken…Ken…Ken… Like - life does not begin and end with surfing! There is more to life like clothes and being seen with the right people in the right places in the right time


G.I. JOE
(laughing)
Ha! See what I mean? She's not hanging-ten on your board anymore. She wants a real man and that's why I'm here! The time is right babe for you and me! Wanna go blow up something, babe?

KEN
Oh yeah? We go back like…forever, right Barb? We always were and we always will be and there's nothing that you can do about it. We've always been boyfriend and girlfriend – always. Course there was a time when we broke up… I was like…so depressed… Didn't come out of the water for weeks… Hadda get a whole new plastic skin transplant…and the smell!

G.I. JOE
You pathetic piece of plastic! You're nothing but… Press the red button on my back, sissy-boy. My new leg replacement has molded together, again

KEN
Maybe I will…and maybe I won't. Hmmmm….let me see now…

G.I. JOE
Oh fer… Okay. Tell 'ya what. Help me out and I'll give you a ride in my jeep. Your new surfboard there would fit in the back seat just perfectly. You'll be a big hit with your surfer pretty boys. I mean friends

(KEN hops over – on tip-toes – and attempts to lift G.I. JOE's shirt but his arms won't bend)

KEN
Tough luck, soldier. No bend-o, no button push-o!

BARBIE
(laughing)
Like…you two! You're like…so-so…

G.I. JOE
…army tough?

KEN

…your best beach boy?

BARBIE
Silly guys! Weird of course! Always fighting over…moi. Didn't your mommies teach you how to share?

(Doorbell rings)

BARBIE
Now who could that be? Maybe…more designer outfits? Or perhaps an invitation to a club opening? Hmmmmm….

(BARBIE hops over to the door on tip-toe and opens it)

BARBIE
(gasping in shock)
Like…what are YOU doing here?

SASHA BRATZ
Like…hi! Like…is that the way to welcome your friends. Right girls?

(SASHA barges past BARBIE followed close behind by YASMIN, CHLOE BRATZ)

YASMIN, CHLOE
Yeah – like…is that the way to treat us? Ooooooo – new clothes! Be our best friend and let us try them on?

BARBIE
You have-got-to-be-kidding! Like…why would I, Barbie, world-famous fashionista, let you, my former best friends who stabbed me in the back, like…try on these beautiful new outfits created for ME!

SASHA
How about because we're here to tell you something very important!

BARBIE
Like…who cares?

YASMIN
You will when we tell you that…that...

BARBIE

That...what?

G.I. JOE

Want me to squeeze the truth outta her, babe? Huh? I can y'know! Just say the word

(TO BE CONTINUED. WHAT IMPORTANT INFO. DO THE BRATZ'S HAVE TO TELL BARBIE? WE'LL FIND OUT DURING OUR NEXT VISIT TO PLASTICVILLE)

The Play's the Thing - Even If No Words are Spoken by Anyone

by Eleanor Tylbor

To say that Austrian playwright, Peter Handke is a man of few words is truly an understatement.

In fact he has written a play entitled, "The Hour We Knew Nothing of Each Other" to be performed at the National Theatre from March 31 to April 12 for 30 performances. What makes his play "special" is that not one word will be spoken by the actors.

For 1 hour and 40 minutes, 450 characters will be silent.

According to a blurb on the National Theatre site:

http://www.nationaltheatre.org.uk/thehour

The play is best described: "For a moment, a bright, empty town square. And then a figure darts across, and another and another – businesspeople, roller-bladers, a cowboy, several street-sweepers, a halfdressed bride, a film crew, a line of old men, a tourist, a beauty in a mirrored dress, Abraham and Isaac, a family of refugees, a fool – more and more people, the bizarre and the humdrum, fleetingly connected by proximity alone."

The idea apparently came to Handke as he sat at a cafe on an Italian piazza watching strangers come and go. Even if not a word is spoken, the play is not sound-less. The silence is punctuated by snatches of music, the occasional scream and the recorded sounds of an aeroplane or workmen drilling.

A National Theatre spokeswoman said: "It is a great piece of work, challenging and something that we should be doing. Tickets are selling well - not like hotcakes, but they are doing well. It is appealing to younger people. We think our more traditional audiences will wait until the reviews."

If this is a success, I shall re-read and re-edit my plays with the possibility of eliminating the dialogue. Perhaps I'll re-name the wedding play, "Make Me a Wedding and Let's Keep It Between Ourselves." Given that it's a comedy, there will be lots of body language and gesturing. Since my play has a mere 9 characters, it shouldn't be too difficult to fill the various roles.

If anyone attends this play, please pass on your impressions and review.


Writers & Friends
www.jrslater.com/forum

BARBIE, KEN AND THE REST IN PLASTICVILLE
(The continuing story about life among the plastic people)
BY ELEANOR TYLBOR

SCENE: A WAREHOUSE… SOMEWHERE. ROWS AND ROWS OF BOXES COVER THE FLOOR SPACE. HANGING LIGHT BULBS CAST SHADOWS ON THE WALLS. IT IS THE PLACE OF SOLITUDE AND EXILE FOR BARBIE, KEN, G.I. JOE AND OTHER DOLLS, WHO HAVE HAD TO ADJUST TO LIFE IN A CARDBOARD BOX


BARBIE
(muffled voice)
Hel-lo? Like…can anybody hear me?

G.I. JOE
Yeah – me babe! Your best buddy and boyfriend and love of your life, G.I. Joe, here to save and serve you! Is the enemy near? I can smell the bad guys!

BARBIE
First of all I’m not your girlfriend…why am I bothering when we’ve gone through this a zillion times, already. Like…we are friends. Just friends. Got that? Gee whiz I hate this place!

G.I. JOE
(laughing)
…just friends. Sure babe. I get it! You don’t wanna tell that douche bag, Ken, we’re shacked up. Right?

BARBIE
Say what? How can we be shacked up when we’re living in boxes?

G.I. JOE
Well…see… Uh-oh…I hear something!

BARBIE
(sighing)
You’re always hearing something…

KEN
(sobbing)
Is…that…you…Barbie? I-I’m so scared!

G.I. JOE
Ten-shun! Get a grip, sissy boy! You’re a marine!

BARBIE
Like…G.I. – it’s Ken! Think back! Ken? Surfer dude? The summer house?

G.I. JOE
Ken…Ken… I knew a Ken. Always walked around wearing underwear. A filthy pervert

BARBIE
That’s him. I mean – he’s not a pervert! He’s always prepared for the next big wave

KEN
When are they coming to get us? I’m sure surf’s up!

BARBIE
There are more important things in life than surfing, Ken!

KEN
Oh? Like what?

BARBIE
Well… like getting out of here. I’m so sick of living in a box. Like…my outfit is soooo passé and those Bratz have probably taken my place opening night clubs and everything. Ohhhhhh I’m so depressed!

G.I. JOE
Hey! I can do something ‘bout that with this here hand grenade I just happen to have on me. If I can just…get…at…it… I’ll just pull the string and blow our lids off

BARBIE
Oh fer… You do realize you’ll blow us up, too

G.I. JOE
…if I can just move my arm across here and…almost there…

(lights suddenly go on. There is the muffled sound of voices getting closer)

BARBIE
They’ve come to get us! I knew they’d find us sooner or later! Better fix myself up for the press… Hello? It’s us! Thank goodness you’re here!

VOICE
…yeah. These are them. Been here for a while now… We need the space so we better bring in the big shovels.

BARBIE
What do you mean, ‘big shovels’? You-you can’t do that…

G.I. JOE
…just a little more…I can feel the side of the grenade…the string is right on top…

(WILL THE GANG BE RESCUED FROM THE WAREHOUSE OR WILL THEY FACE A FATAL FATE?)

TO BE CONTINUED…

Writers & Friends

www.jrslater.com/forum

SUBMISSION OPPORTUNITY: AN ONGOING DIALOGUE WITH SELF
BY Eleanor Tylbor


PLAYWRIGHT
Oh look! The Blankety-Blank Theatre is asking playwrights for plays. Hmmmm...interesting... Wonder if they're accepting plays from outside the U.S. Probably not...

INNER VOICE
There you go again! Negative. Always negative! Maybe they are!

PLAYWRIGHT
Yeah... Could be. Neh. I mean, this is a well-known and substantial theatre. They have enough playwrights domestically

INNER VOICE
So? What does that have to do with anything?

PLAYWRIGHT
Nothing but somehow I have a feeling they don't

INNER VOICE
You and your dumb feelings! How many opportunities did you let slide by based on your "feelings"?

PLAYWRIGHT
Let me read the guidelines, here... Hmmm and mmm - course I'm right. All the people and judges involved are from the U.S. Why would they waste time reading a play from an un-American? I suppose it would be a similar situation if it were reversed. You know - a Canadian theatre holding a playwriting competition? 'Course I wouldn't know having never won...anything, anywhere, anyway at any time. Oh to see my work actually up on a stage!

INNER VOICE
It doesn't say anything one way or the other. Why don't you query them and find out at least?

PLAYWRIGHT
Yeah... I could... I suppose... Maybe... I guess it would be a good idea. Let's see if they have an e-mail address... Hmm... Says here they have a lot of people reading all the entries. Well - that just about screws me. Wonder if they specialize in drama...or comedy...

INNER VOICE
So query and find out!

PLAYWRIGHT
Know what? It really scares me that lots of people will be reading my play. People who don't even know me or anything about the history of my play! How can they judge the merit of my intellect?

INNER VOICE
Nobody in Canada knows anything about it - or you either, doofus!

PLAYWRIGHT
True... It's just the idea of strangers reading my play and passing judgment on it. 'Oh look', they probably say to each other. 'This is laughable! She calls herself a playwright?' I bet they do that! Have a good laugh at our expense!

INNER VOICE
You're creating barriers again!

PLAYWRIGHT
Perhaps...Let me read some more about this theatre. Just as I thought! I could end up having a reading and not a production!

INNER VOICE
So what's wrong with that?

PLAYWRIGHT
What do I have to gain from a mere reading? I want a production! No - I need a production! I could just as easy get a group together and have a reading of my play. I don't have to spend who knows how much on postage and wonder whether anybody even read it.

INNER VOICE
So do it! Stop complaining for heaven's sake and do something. Your play will never see the light of day by sitting at a computer reading theatre submission guidelines.

PLAYWRIGHT
I'm sick and tired of submitting and daring to hope that maybe - just maybe - the play will be produced! All the while waiting and waiting for news. Checking the mail and the Internet for some response and all the while doubt creeping in and over-taking hope. What else do playwrights have to live for but hope?

INNER VOICE
You're telling me this? Me who shares your anxieties?

PLAYWRIGHT
What happens though if I can't find anyone who wants to read?

INNER VOICE
What happens if you do find people who want to read? If you don't take the first step, you'll never know. Go for it!

PLAYWRIGHT
Oh look here... this looks like just the theatre I've been looking for. I got a good feeling about this one.