Monday, December 20, 2010

SCENES FROM REAL LIFE
A SHORT PLAY: "THE LIFT"

SCENE: THE WOMAN BUNDLED UP FOR A COLD, WINTER DAY IS WALKING WITH A SHOPPING BAG SLUNG OVER HER SHOULDER. AS SHE WALKS, SHE STARES DOWN AT THE SNOWY SIDEWALK

CAST: THE WOMAN
WOMAN DRIVER

THE WOMAN
(mumbling to herself)
Cold... Maybe I should turn back. But I need stuff at the supermarket. Should have taken the car but then what is the physical value in that? No - I need exercise and it's really not that cold out. These boots are so damned heavy but at least they're waterproof...and this fur hat is driving me nuts! It's itchy and keeps slipping down to my eyebrows. I probably look like a lunatic. How do I scratch an itch under a fur hat with mittens on? I suppose I could take them off... At least it's fake fur and I don't have to feel guilty about wearing it. I swear I'm gonna take off this hat, throw it on the ground and stamp on it! I better stop talking to myself in case I meet up with someone I know.

(she looks up and notices that a car slows down and stops a few feet in front of her)

THE WOMAN
Uh-oh...who is that? Should I cross the street or keep walking here. I don't want to make it obvious that I'm nervous. Hopefully they won't ask me for directions because I'm really bad at that. The best I end up doing is pointing

(as the point where she is about to pass the car, a window rolls down and the woman driver leans over)

WOMAN DRIVER
Hello there!

THE WOMAN
(moving away from car)
Uh-huh...yes?

WOMAN DRIVER
Are you going to the supermarket?

THE WOMAN
Well...

WOMAN DRIVER
I'm on my way there, myself. Could I offer you a lift?

THE WOMAN
Well...I don't...

WOMAN DRIVER
Don't worry. I often give lifts to women in the winter, especially on a day like today. Cold wind.

WOMAN
Well...okay, I suppose.

(woman gets into car)

WOMAN
(cautiously but anxiously)
Do you...live around... here?

WOMAN DRIVER
I live in the Versailles.

WOMAN
Oh we're neighbors! I live right next door to you! It's very nice that you offer me a lift.

WOMAN DRIVER
It's no problem - I'm on my way there, myself. I probably wouldn't offer a lift to a man, though. You just never know who can get in

WOMAN
Can't tell these days...

WOMAN DRIVER
So...I saw you walking with a shopping bag and I thought 'she's probably going to the supermarket and it's cold outside and the least I can do is offer her a lift.' So here we are!

WOMAN
Yup...

WOMAN DRIVER
Do you have a dog?

WOMAN
Pardon?

WOMAN DRIVER
A dog? You know -woof-woof?

WOMAN
No - just a husband.
(they both laugh)

WOMAN DRIVER
I want to get a dog. Not a big one or anything...I live in an apartment. A dog would be nice and they're good company. I could dress it up in nice clothes like that dog over there

(they both "awwww" at a dog with boots and trendy sweater being walked accross the road)

WOMAN
I had a dog for 15 years. That's enough for me. Too hard to take when they get old and sick

WOMAN DRIVER
Maybe - but I really would like one...

(they turn into supermarket parking lot)

WOMAN
We're here. You are so thoughtful to offer me a lift. You can leave me off here at the pharmacy. I have to get some makeup

WOMAN DRIVER
It's a pleasure. Maybe next time I'll have a dog for you to pet!

WOMAN
Maybe you will! I'm sure we'll see each other again in the Spring living next door to each other. In the winter, we drive in our car and even when we walk, we look down. Bye!

WOMAN DRIVER
Merry Christmas - don't spend all your money!

WOMAN
(watching car drive away)
Nice...really nice! This damned hat is going to drive me nuts...

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Bought two skeins/balls of multi-colored wool and knitting needles in anticipation of making...something. Realized that the best I could hope for was one of my famous scarves and it dawned on me that I needed a lot more wool. Ran to Walmart at point of purchase to replenish and this was the end result. Yet another event taken from my life.


SCANNED!

SCENE: THE HANDICRAFT SECTION OF A WALMART STORE. A WOMAN CUSTOMER IS SCANNING THE ASSORTMENT OF WOOL ON THE SHELVES WHILE A SALES CLERK IS BUSY TALKING TO A YOUNG MALE CLERK, TELLING HIM WHAT TO DO

FEMALE SALES CLERK
So you check your merchandise against the typed sheet and...

CUSTOMER
'Scuse me?

FEMALE SALES CLERK
...keep checking the sheet, Deepak. Uh-huh?

CUSTOMER
(showing clerk a paper wrapper taken from a skein of wool)
Um - I'm looking for this brand and lot dye number but I don't seem to be able to see it anywhere...

FEMALE SALES CLERK
(taking paper and examining it)
Let's see now...where would this be...

(the customer and sales clerk walk up and down the aisle, searching for the wool brand)

FEMALE SALES CLERK
Aside to young male assistant:'Deepak - go find me a scanner...somewhere!'

To customer: I left my scanner here and somebody took it. Can't leave anything these days

CUSTOMER
You mean a customer took it?

FEMALE SALES CLERK
Could be although more likely it's another clerk from another dept.

CUSTOMER
Oh... So do you see my brand of wool, anywhere? I don't

FEMALE SALES CLERK
Me neither. Wait a minute - let's go look in the clearance section... Just as I thought - your wool was on clearance

(clerk holds up paper from wool and shows customer similar wool)

FEMALE SALES CLERK
See? Same brand but new wrapping and not your shade. They must have dropped your shade

CUSTOMER
You mean...my wool has been discontinued? But...I just bought it a few days ago!

FEMALE SALES CLERK
That could be but if it's on clearance - it's not here anymore

CUSTOMER
Will you be getting anymore in?

FEMALE SALES CLERK
I doubt it.It's finished!

CUSTOMER
What am I supposed to do now? How can I finish my scarf I'm making?

FEMALE SALES CLERK
What can I tell you! If I had that darn scanner, I could check the other stores to see if they have any in stock

CUSTOMER
Well can't you get another scanner?

FEMALE SALES CLERK
I don't know...where's that Deepak...

CUSTOMER
Perhaps if you'd go find one...?

FEMALE SALES CLERK
If only I had that scanner...but I don't. Why don't you go to one of the front cashes. They can scan your label and check to see if you can find it at another Walmart

CUSTOMER
Are you sure you absolutely sure you don't have the wool, somewhere?

FEMALE SALES CLERK
I'm sure...of course the scanner would help but...

CUSTOMER
...I know. You don't have a scanner.

FEMALE SALES CLERK
My assistant, Deepak, will be back in a minute and then I can go look for a scanner...

CUSTOMER
I really can't wait any longer

FEMALE SALES CLERK
There he is now, 'Deepak - we need a scanner!'

CUSTOMER
Yes Deepak. You do

FEMALE SALES CLERK
We can't work without a scanner! You go find one! I swear, these days you can't trust anyone.

CUSTOMER
What about my wool?

FEMALE SALES CLERK
Like I said, go to the front cash and ask them to...

CUSTOMER
...scan. BTW - is this yours?

FEMALE SALES CLERK
Ohmygawd - that's our scanner!

CUSTOMER
It was lying here in the wool on clearance. Have a good day

FEMALE SALES CLERK
You too! Go figure...here all along... 'Deepak! I found it!'

Saturday, November 27, 2010

DOWNER - MONA DOESN'T LIVE


It takes me a while until getting to the point where I actually make the decision to submit one of my plays and play-ettes. There is the usual self-doubt, is it play-worthy and most of all, does it have entertainment value. When and if I do submit, hope springs eternal that it could make the grade, grade being a theatre recognizes that it has diversionary value . Visions of it actually being performed before an audience who clap in appreciation accompany the "submit" button or the actual act of mailing the ms envelope.

Just came back from checking the Snowdance Festival site in the hope that my name was among the lucky ten playwrights whose plays were accepted. It wasn't.

Inject deep sigh here.

Having not received a notification one way or the other, the only means in which playwrights would know is to continually check their site. That I did - and then some.

The play submitted, "Dusting Mona" was one of my more recent creations and IMHO it's well written. Obviously, not entertaining enough to make the grade.

Inject another deep sigh here.

It was submitted by mail this time since this was their choice and now I'm wondering whether it was ever received. Actually, it's easier to accept that they never received it rather than believe it wasn't good enough. Rejection is part of playwriting or any type of writing but it never gets easier as anyone who is in this milieu will attest. I like to believe that the audience doesn't know what they're missing. Let's just say that Mona and other literary friends are taking a rest.

Monday, November 22, 2010

OLD SOLDIERS - THE RADIO PLAY - a progress report #1

Decided to try and convert my short story, "Old Soldiers" into a radio play and enter it into the BBC International Playwriting Competition. My first realization how difficult a task this is going to be is underestimating the amount of dialogue required. Dialogue as it stands now is limited in its present form and this means a complete re-think as to how I'm going to move this story along. I'm also not sure how to write a radio play. Will spend some time searching the Internet in the hope of discovering the form. Some questions requiring answers that keep me up nights wondering:

- is it written in the same manner as a play?
- do radio plays have scenes?
- where are the sound effects written?

Why am I doing it? Because it's a personal challenge, especially since I've entered the competition before having submitted, "Retribution", which should have won...IMHO. This short story is one of my favorites and I think that it has the potential to be a winner.

There are four characters in the short story but more are required. I'm toying with the idea of adding an old dog given that Joe, my main character, is an old soldier. The dog is Joe's confidant, best friend and reason for living.

Dilemma at present is whether to open the story in Joe's apartment as it is in the story, or open it in a pub. If I open it in the pub it could be a few hours before the ceremonies, whereas the kitchen scene would go before he meets up with his friends in the pub to toast the demise of an army buddy friend.

Also considering the addition of an old (as in age) nosey landlady, who enjoys dropping by Joe's apt. He dislikes her, period, and dislikes her never-ending questions.

We'll see what develops as more dialogue is added. To be continued...

Friday, November 19, 2010

GIMME SPACE
BY ELEANOR TYLBOR


SCENE: A PHARMACY OR ANYWHERE, ACTUALLY. THREE PEOPLE ARE WAITING TO PAY FOR ITEMS AT THE CASH.

CUSTOMER 1
(placing item on counter along with umbrella)
Just going to put this down here... Ooops - didn't mean to crowd anyone

CUSTOMER 2
(directly behind)
No problem. I'll just move my items back a bit to give you some more room

CUSTOMER 1
Don't worry about it. It's only a jar of jam.

CUSTOMER 2
Is it good. I mean, have you had some before?

CUSTOMER 1
Nope. First time. It was on special at nine-nine cents. Mind you, it's only good for 10 more days...
CUSTOMER 2
Do you eat a lot of jam?

CUSTOMER 1
Depends on the day. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Depends how jammy I'm feeling.

CUSTOMER 3
(in front of line)
I'm here!

CUSTOMER 1
Sorry?

CUSTOMER 3
I'm here, too.

CUSTOMER 1
I see

CUSTOMER 3
I need room for my things

CUSTOMER 1
O-kay...

CUSTOMER 3
Could you give me some room for my things, please?

CUSTOMER 1 looks at her for a few seconds, down at her items and moves the umbrella and jam away from CUSTOMER 3

CUSTOMER 3
Your umbrella is wet and it's touching my toilet paper!

CUSTOMER 1
That would be as a result of the pouring rain outside

CUSTOMER 3
You're making the counter wet

CUSTOMER 1
O-kay...sorry but the cashier is doing your items and you'll be outta here, soon

CUSTOMER 3
Still, your umbrella takes up a lot of space

CUSTOMER 1
I already removed it off the counter and moved back my jam so it won't touch your items

CUSTOMER 3
But you made the counter all wet

CUSTOMER 1
(putting hand in purse, produces Kleenex and wipes counter)
There! Allll gone!

CUSTOMER 3 grabs bag

CUSTOMER 3
There should be a sign posted telling people they can't put wet umbrellas on the counter!

CUSTOMER 3 storms out of store

CUSTOMER 1
Some people just gotta have their space!

(turns to CUSTOMER 2)

Oh gee - am I dripping water on your feet? I'm so sorry...here let me wipe them...

Saturday, November 06, 2010

MAKE ME A WEDDING! - FROM THE BEGINNING


In spite of what appears to be little interest in my playwriting blog updates - insert big sigh here - I'm going to continue anyway. As mentioned, at present I'm tweaking my two full-plays with the intention of submitting...again and again and...

Friday, November 6:

Started reading right from the top, including cast. Little concerned as I was when I wrote it, actually, that there is a cast of 9. Be that as it may, I can't cut back because they all play an important part of the whole.

SCENE 1: Made some minor changes but no major issues. Introduction to characters requires no modifications as I view them. Sadie and Morty, mother and father, definitely have their own personalities, which is good. Bride-to-be, Rachel's entrance and announcement of her engagement and wedding plans, which differ from Sadie's, signals problems to come. All-in-all - so far, so good. To be continued...

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

A SHINING LIGHT - THE PLAY?



I wrote this a while back as a First Person piece for our local daily. It was one of other pieces focusing on my experience as a student attending after school Hebrew lessons. This was a very pleasant time and experience although it didn't seem like it at the time. In any case, I'm toying with re-writing it as a play perhaps combining it with some of the other pieces. As usual, comments always welcome.


A Shining Light
BY ELEANOR TYLBOR


As a youngster, Christmas was somewhat of a demoralizing time of the year. Since our family was of the Jewish faith, we celebrated the holiday of Chanukah, which didn't seem to me to be half as exciting as the furor that went along with trimming a tree.

On occasion Chanukah fell during the same period as Christmas and somehow I couldn't work up as much enthusiasm for lighting a candle even if it was colored, as my friends seemed to experience placing ornaments on the branches of their trees.

Even though my parents explained time and time again that Jewish people don't celebrate Christmas, which meant that a tree even a miniature one was out of the question, it was difficult for me to accept. In spite of protestations that we could call it a Chanukah bush, it was obvious that there was no way a fir tree would be part of our celebrations.

Traditionally at Chanukah, children receive gifts of gelt or money and light small colored candles in a menorah (candelabra), one per night for the eight days of the holiday. While that was nice, in my mind it didn't measure up to all the excitement connected to the "other" holiday.

At Hebrew school we always celebrated the various holidays, big and small, and Chanukah was a particular favorite especially since our class, being the eldest students, entertained the residents of a seniors home. Each year the teacher would select eight students to sing and perform as Chanukah candles and competition was fierce for the part of lead candle.

Since I wasn't blessed with a good singing voice – I could barely carry a tune – I knew that my chances were slim at best to play any candle, never mind the lead candle. My biggest rival was Zelig, who had the voice and promise of a future opera singer. Not only did he have the best singing voice, he was also the top student scholastically. Plus he was also the teacher's pet. Whenever games were played for prizes during the holidays, Zelig won everything, which didn't exactly ingratiate him with the other students. Actually, we were all jealous and would have liked nothing better than for his voice to change in the middle of a concert.

Class auditions for candle parts were held a few weeks before the onset of the holiday and the best I could hope for was a minor part and even then, only if the rest of the students had an off day or laryngitis. Each student auditioned for the teacher and as expected, Zelig got the lead role, which irritated me no end.

My resentment was eased somewhat by being assigned the role of a minor candle, probably out of pity more than anything else. Those students not chosen became part of the chorus singing "tra-la-las" at the appropriate time.

Excitement was at a fever pitch when we arrived at the seniors' home, ready to perform for a live audience who were, for the most part, in wheelchairs. They were brought into the auditorium where we were lined up on stage, anxious to perform.

Glancing around the room, many of the seniors appeared half asleep.

"You will be entertained today!" their nurses might have insisted as they wheeled them into the room.

The first students opened the concert and sang well and those who followed performed admirably. Finally, it was my turn. My voice didn't fail me and I felt very proud of my accomplishment.

Zelig opened his mouth and it was like a chorus of angels had entered the room. His voice was strong and melodic and suddenly the seniors perked up, smiles on their faces in obvious appreciation of what they heard. When the last notes of his solo faded away, they all clapped appreciatively.

The musical recital was over and we performed a variety of Israeli dances, moving off the stage to mingle among our audience. Although Israeli dancing was a passion, I was consumed with the memory of the applause and accolades bestowed upon Zelig.

After our presentation and some refreshments, an elderly woman wheeled over to talk to me. She smiled, her trembling hand gently covering mine.

"Thank you," she uttered weakly and breathlessly. "You were all wonderful. How special you are to visit us!"

There was the sudden realization that it wasn't important who the lead candle was or who had the best voice. It was significant to our audience that we had taken the time to come at all.

It wasn't long after our successful performance that Zelig's voice finally broke and he never knew whether he would sing soprano or alto. Tough luck for him. My voice on the other hand, never changed and could always be depended on to sing off-key
BACK IN THE PLAYWRITING SADDLE AGAIN

It appears that once bitten by the playwriting bug, it's an itch that no amount of scratching can quell. What I'm trying to express in my loquacious fashion is that I've decided to submit my plays, again. Not that I didn't before but there has been a noticeable gap that has nagged at my conscience.

I've already taken steps to move things along and submitted one of my short plays in a competition. Don't want to talk/write about it because like many people of our ilk, I'm superstitious, but it's one of my more recent attempts. Additionally, I'm going to enter the BBC International Playwriting Competition if I can convert one of my stories into a radio play. I've got a good half-year to do it but it's still a difficult task.

I've also decided to edit (again!)my full two-act plays and make a real push and effort to get them produced. Not that I didn't before but not to the degree I should have because I feared and still fear rejection. The plays, actually I'm focusing on one in particular, "Make Me a Wedding!" a comedy and the first play I wrote, requires a thorough going-over to see if it still makes me laugh as it did in the past. More importantly, though, looking at it through the eyes of outsiders and evaluating whether it will make them laugh.

In addition, I will post regular updates in this blog and share my findings along with pieces of dialogue for feedback if anyone feels like jumping in. Feel free to do so and it would be much appreciated.

Meanwhile, Morty and Saydie are calling me to help out in the planning of the wedding. As if I'd refuse.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

DOES MY PLAY SOUND FAMILIAR TO YOU?


For whatever reason - lack of a proper filing system springs to mind - there are problems when it comes to submitting my plays to various theatres or competitions. This point was brought home recently upon reading the guidelines to a 10-minute competition that could be a fit for my short plays. This is a yearly competition and as I recall it was the lucky (IMHO) recipient of one of my literary offerings last year but the problem is...which one.

In the past I opened a file to keep track of which plays were sent to whom but along the way, I stopped making notes. Now I'm forced to play a guessing game in order to hide my ineffectual (read: non-existent) filing system. Should I own up to this fact in a covering letter? Something to the effect:

"Dear blah-blah,

Please find my short play, blah-blah, for your 10-minute competition. Perhaps it might look familiar and could have been one of last year's entries but then again, maybe not. If it doesn't strike a familiar chord, then consider it my official submission."

Be that as it may, I'm going to check through my "sent" file and see what turns up, if anything. If not - it's another guessing game. Did I mention that my play wasn't among those selected to be performed. Then again maybe I meant to send it but never got around to doing it. Go know!

Monday, September 20, 2010

THE TEA BAG: A SHORT PLAY
By Eleanor Tylbor


Characters:

Fast food server: Punk-look i.e. multi-colored hair,
Long dangly earrings

Customer

Manager (male)

Scene:

Fast food restaurant. Customer is standing at counter with styrofoam cup in hand


SERVER
Uh-huh?

HAPPY CUSTOMER
Free tea refill, please, herbal if you have it

SERVER
(chewing gum/blows bubbles)
No free refills on tea

NOT-SO-HAPPY-CUSTOMER
You… don't… give refills on tea?

SERVER
Uh-uh. Could you move along?

CUSTOMER
‘Scuse me but you now have an unhappy customer. You do realize that, don’t you?

SERVER
Uh-huh. Next…

CUSTOMER

(Looking around for signs on wall)

Where does it say they’re no tea refills? I don’t see signs posted anywhere

SERVER
Holding up sign that reads: 'FREE COFFEE REFILLS'

Right…here

Server extends finger and points to sign.
Sticks finger inside her mouth and removes
gum pulling it until it is a long string.
Replaces it back in her mouth. Wipes fingers
on clothes


CUSTOMER
(shaking his head in horror)
Your nails are long, aren’t they? But this says free coffee refills. I want tea

SERVER
They’re not real, the nails I mean. Lost a couple last week and I still haven’t found them. Guess they’ll show up…somewhere

CUSTOMER
(hesitatingly)
My tea? Remember?

SERVER
Like I told you, free coffee refills. Them’s the rules

CUSTOMER
You mean, those are the rules. It’s plural… more than one…

SERVER
Now you want more than one refill? No way, José! Never!

CUSTOMER
I meant…I was just trying to say… Now focus. There’s no logic to your rule. We’re only talking here about one lousy teabag for heaven’s sake. Let’s say…I brought one in here from home?

SERVER
(Silence while she thinks. Pulls gum out of
her mouth in a long strip and replaces it
back into her mouth, wiping hands on blouse)

I gotta ask the manager 'bout that.

(An unshaven, heavy-set male with long greasy hair, wearing a tied scarf on his head approaches - grabs the SERVER and kisses her open-mouthed on the lips. They lock lips for 30 seconds)
MANAGER
Later babe

SERVER
Oh Howie – you’re so ro-man-tic!

MANAGER hits server on bum as she EXITS

CUSTOMER
Your…friend there is telling me that refills are good for coffee only . Unfortunately, I’m a tea drinker

MANAGER
That’s your problem – not ours

CUSTOMER
All I need is one lousy cup filled with hot water AND a teabag. I'm not even fussy about the brand at this point, and your water doesn't even have to be boiled properly!

MANAGER
Gonna hav’ta charge you

CUSTOMER
You have to or you want to? This is…tea prejudice!

MANAGER
Whatever that means

CUSTOMER
I shall alert the tea growers of the world regarding your policy and discriminatory attitude towards tea drinkers

MANAGER
Lemme put it this way - I won't stay up nights worrying

CUSTOMER
How many clients have been turned away as a result of this injustice, huh? Thousands – nay – maybe millions even!

MANAGER
Look pal, there's a long line of people behind you so decide, but there ain’t nothing I can do ‘bout it

CUSTOMER
Let's make this simple…

MANAGER
…and fast? I got a line of people who wanna be served

CUSTOMER
One cup of boiled water

MANAGER
(writing on pad)
That it?

CUSTOMER
Now put it in a styrofoam cup…you don’t charge for
styrofoam cups, do you? I mean, you have to pour the hot water into something

MANAGER
I better check corporate headquarters t’find out

CUSTOMER
No need. Consider lending me a teabag. Isn’t that a great idea? Of course it is! You can have it back once I've finished and then pass it on to the next customer. That way we both win

MANAGER
Borrow a tea bag…I dunno 'bout that

CUSTOMER
Be a fast food pioneer and tell the world, 'I’m-going-to-start-giving-free-tea-refills!' Hey! Maybe they’ll write you up in National Geographic! Or National Enquirer - or both! They could even add your photo, too! What’s your name, anyway?

MANAGER
Howard

CUSTOMER
What a normal name for a… I can see the headline now: 'Howard…somebody, manager of the Eat’n’Run, through his pioneering spirit, set the standard for the introduction of free tea refills in his restaurant.' Tea companies could thank you by - um - naming a tea after you! The - um - 'Howard tea bag' – the original pioneering - um - eight cup tea bag

MANAGER
Really? Name a tea bag after me?

CUSTOMER
Think of it as doing your part to help save the planet. Trust me that your average tea drinker won’t mind sharing a used tea bag. You don’t even hav’ta tell head office about your sacrifice! It’ll be our secret…save the earth and all that

Customer is handed teabag and cup. He dunks tea bag in, and then dumps bag
in manager’s hand. Takes sip from cup


CUSTOMER
(shaking his head)
Some people make their lives so complicated

Customer exits
/

Friday, September 03, 2010

FLOWER POWER
by Eleanor Tylbor

CHARACTERS:
FLOWER LOVER AND ADMIRER
OWNER OF FLOWER GARDEN

SOUND: STREET TRAFFIC


SCENE: Lush garden filled with flowers, in particular large, colorful flowers in along garden path. Woman walks by, stops, smiles and shakes her head in admiration. Owner of the house and garden, is absorbed in tweaking the various species.

FLOWER LOVER
You have a beautiful garden

(Owner of garden appears not to hear her, is absorbed touching flowers)

FLOWER LOVER
Hello there! I want to compliment you on your garden!

GARDEN OWNER
(caught off guard)
Oh....thank you. I try my best

FLOWER LOVER
Whatever you're doing - keep at it! Every time I walk by, I always stop to admire all the flowers. Your roses in the Spring are spectacular! Never saw such color - and so many of them!

GARDEN OWNER
My husband looked after them. Roses were his favorite

FLOWER LOVER
I could tell but all your flowers are perfection! These are new one's (she touches flower)

GARDEN OWNER
I brought them back from Florida. My cousin gave me a piece and I never thought they would last through the winter

FLOWER LOVER
They did - and then some. I forget the name of them...it's on the tip of my tongue...

GARDEN OWNER
She told me the name but I forget....I should have written it down

FLOWER LOVER
(distracted)
...what is the name now...b-b-b-b-b...no - not B. C-c-c-c-c-c-...It'll come to me soon... Anyway. You do the gardening by yourself or get a professional?

GARDEN OWNER
My husband always did it by himself. You know, we won awards for our garden, two years running!

FLOWER LOVER
I'm not surprised. Perfection and not an insect in sight. Give your husband my congratulations

GARDEN OWNER
I can't

FLOWER LOVER
It doesn't have to be now. Whenever

GARDEN OWNER
My husband died last year

FLOWER LOVER
Oh - I see...I'm so sorry. So you do this all by yourself?

GARDEN OWNER
I hired a gardener. It was just too much for me. I try to handle the weeds but the gardener cuts the grass and takes care of the flowers.

FLOWER LOVER
How do you like having a gardener? I had one and he never did what I wanted him to do. Ended up firing him and doing it by myself. Less aggravation

GARDEN OWNER
I have no choice. I just don't have the strength...my husband used to take care of it all but...

FLOWER LOVER
....D-d-d-d-d-d-... It's no use - I can't think of the name of this flower! Whew - really getting hot! Better finish my walk or the heat will finish me off! Listen - If I think of the name, I'll ring your bell and tell you

GARDEN OWNER
That would be nice. Maybe you want a cutting of the flower?

FLOWER LOVER
I can't - live in a condo. My gardening days are over. I do patio pots now

GARDEN OWNER
You can keep it in a pot for next year

FLOWER LOVER
Thank you but I'll pass. Nice meeting you and keep up the good work!

GARDEN OWNER
(turning around to walk along path)
Lots of weeds...how come the weeds grow so much and so fast...

(garden owner slowly walks down path and disappears through door)

FLOWER LOVER
(starts to walk and stops suddenly)
Hisbiscus! That's it - hisbiscus! The answer always comes when you don't need it anymore. I'll just write it on a piece of paper and drop it off the next time I walk by. Some people really have a green thumb - I should have told her that. Why didn't I tell her?

(FLOWER LOVER exits)

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

THE LINE UP
by Eleanor Tylbor

SCENE: A SUPERMARKET. A LINE UP OF A DOZEN PEOPLE IN THE 8-ITEMS-OR-LESS ARE WAITING TO PAY FOR THEIR ITEMS. THE PERSON IN FRONT OF THE LINE IS COUNTING HER/HIS ITEMS WITH HIS FINGER



CASHIER
You have more than eight items, lady

WOMAN IN LINE
I know...it's only ten items...what's two items between friends, anyway?

CASHIER
(pointing to the sign indicating 8 items or less)
Ask the people behind you if it matters

(woman turns around and speaks to person directly behind her)

WOMAN IN LINE
Do you mind if I have two extra items? I'm in a rush

PERSON BEHIND WOMAN IN LINE
Actually...yes, I do mind! We're all in a rush. Aren't we, people?

(person behind woman in line turns around to address others in line)

PEOPLE IN LINE:
'I hav'ta get home and make supper for my family!'

'The babysitter is waiting to get paid!'

'You got some nerve, lady!'

CASHIER
See? They mind alright! Now if you'll go to one of the other lines...

WOMAN IN LINE
But... Okay. What if I remove say...one item?

CASHIER
That would make nine items. You'd still have one item too much. Please step aside...

PEOPLE IN LINE
Yeah - move out the line, lady!

WOMAN IN LINE
You are all so selfish. It's only one item for crying out loud!

CASHIER
Rules are rules! What kind of world would we have if we didn't obey rules, huh? Now if you'll move to another line

WOMAN IN LINE
(looking over items in cart)
Oh fer... Okay...let me take another item away...I need them all, though...

CASHIER
Would you like me to do it for you? Look lady - the line is getting longer as we speak...

WOMAN IN LINE
Maybe the ice cream... No - I need it for dessert...perhaps the asparagus spears...no - veggies are important...It's so hard to decide...

PERSON IN LINE
Here - lemme help (removes bottle of soft drink) There - that wasn't so hard!

WOMAN IN LINE
But what are we supposed to drink with our meal?

PERSON IN LINE
Good, old H2O! Look at that! I saved you money, too! You should thank me!

WOMAN IN LINE
I've made my decision! Give me back two items!

CASHIER
Like I told you -

WOMAN IN LINE
- yeah - I know. Eight items or less. Fine. I'm moving over to the other line where I'm legal.
(She move over to next line. Aside to person in front of her:) 'Excuse me madam but I'm running late. Would you mind if I just went in front of you? I'm running a little late.'

Monday, August 16, 2010


So I'm thinking here...given the success or lack thereof, of any of my plays produced so far, some new strategy is required. To date and as I've shared in this blog, I've written two full i.e. two-act, plays, one-1 act play and approximately a dozen short-short plays and skits over the years. Given the reality of today's economy, the future of having them making their debut on stage looks somewhat doubtful, hence the change of direction.


I've decided to write short pieces of dialogue on a daily or at least a regular basis that may or may not end up as a play down the line. They may be snippets of conversations overhead in a mall, or perhaps conversations with friends or personal experiences that would normally fall into the rant'n'rave category in one of my other blogs. Or maybe the embryonic beginning of a play. Just...stuff.


As always comments are welcome be they good or bad and I will respond accordingly but spammers will be deleted. Playwriting is angsting enough without having to deal with spammers. so stay away and you have been warned!


Meanwhile - on with the show!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010


THE PLAY IS NOT THE THING


It's been a while since I submitted one of my two full length plays...anywhere, actually. One of the reasons is somehow I misplaced/deleted/filed-in-unknown-folder, the list of theatres who were fortunate enough to be the recipient of, but didn't realize it, plays. Being organized is not one of my strong points.

So this is leading me once again as it has on numerous occasions in the past, to search my soul as to whether the plays are stage-worthy. In reading them over to evaluate whether they need a gazillionth re-write, they still entertain me and make me laugh. This, at least to me, is a good sign. The problem is that nobody else seems to feel the same way or at least feel they would be embraced by theatre-goers. It took me years to get the words down on paper and then more years to get the right "feel" and flow - the two big 'F"s - before allowing them to leave home.

It's not that I don't enjoy writing plays or at least 'short-short'-10 minute plays these days, but there comes a point where one has to evaluate whether the effort is worth the search given the end result. Perhaps and although I'm loathe to admit it, they aren't stage-worthy. Even writing this sentence is like an arrow piercing my heart. So where does this leave me? Should I give up the ghost so to speak and leave them in my will as part of my legacy to future generations in the hope that they will see merit it them, and carry on the search? Or, should I continue to check out potential theatres and competitions and submit my plays in the hope that they were never the recipients of my literary gems?

Meanwhile, if a theatre producer reading this is interested in taking a chance on an unknown-but-talented playwright with two very entertaining comedy plays waiting for their chance to be exposed to the world, you know where to reach me. Maybe not depending if I remembered to add my contact information. Go know!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010


BARBIE AND KEN DO TOY STORY 3



SCENE: BARBIE, FAMOUS FASHIONISTA AND KEN, HER ON-AGAIN, OFF-AGAIN SIGNIFICANT OTHER, LOUNGE BY THE POOL. BARBIE IS READING "PEOPLE" WHILE KEN SHINES HIS SURF BOARD.


BARBIE
I just don't get why they don't do a feature on us. I mean, we're famous celebs. Look at me - I'm beautiful...and I wear designer clothes and I'm famous. Why? Why? What's wrong with us!


KEN
(caressing and cleaning his surfboard)
You are so smooth, my little surfing beauty...up and down, up and down...I love your body...


(KEN lifts his surfboard to an upright position and kisses the surface)


BARBIE
...like...we show up at all the new club openings and they still ignore us... Oh Gawd, Ken! That is like...soooo disgusting - and sick! What is it with you and that piece of wood?



KEN
(suddenly dropping the surfboard)
This is part of who I am, Barb - besides - I carved this with my very own hands


BARBIE
- I told you not to call me Barb -


KEN
- whoever -


BARBIE
- not that either -


KEN
- okay already! Anywaaay - me and Surfy here have been together like...forever! (caresses surface of board) We have so much in common


BARBIE
Surfy? You gave your surfboard a name? Oh that is like...even more sick. Then again, you both have the same sized brain


KEN
Thank you! Hear that, Surfy? Barbie says we both think alike!


(BARBIE returns to reading magazine as KEN shines surfboard again)


BARBIE
You are one weird puppy Ken...


(suddenly, there is the sound of machine gun firing off rounds)


KEN
Surf's up! Me and Surfy will be back soon


(KEN grabs surfboard and starts to leave)


BARBIE
Sit down, Ken. It's only G.I. Joe


(G.I. Joe descends down on to the deck area of the pool, from a hovering helicopter)


G.I. JOE
Barbie babe! Wa'cha doin' here with this sissy boy? Why'd you leave without telling me where you were going? It's gettin' harder and harder to find you!


BARBIE
But...you...always do, don't you Joe?


G.I. JOE
No matter where you go on this planet - I'll always follow your trail


BARBIE
Heaven knows I've tried to lose it


G.I. JOE
Babe - what are 'ya doin' livin' here with...him?


BARBIE
I got tired of living in the jungle, Joe! A fashionista like me needs more in life than mosquito netting


G.I. JOE
But... I shared everything I have with you

BARBIE
Really Joe - it's very unnerving having to use crates filled with hand grenades as a table and I'm tired of losing new friends that end up as a main course for Cuddles, your boa constrictor

G.I. JOE

Look - you gotta admit that he's is the best on guard duty. I'll ditch Cuddles, okay? Let's just leave this outhouse

KEN
Outhouse? You call this an outhouse? I'll have you know that this was given to me a thank you for my role in a movie!

G.I. Joe
Oh yeah? What was the name of this so-called movie? 'Sissy-boy loves surfboard'? Ha-ha-ha...

BARBIE
Um - Joe...I was in the movie, too. I-I moved in with Ken.

G.I.JOE
After all we been to each other, babe, you're bailing on me? I shared everything I have wid you!

BARBIE
Exactly. That's why I'm staying here in La-La-Land where I belong, in this beautiful mansion with the beautiful people. Uh-oh... Look at the time. We have a dinner party with our new friends.

KEN
(caressing his surfboard)
Um - I think I'm gonna pass on that. You know I'm not into that kind of stuff

BARBIE
Oh fer... Fine. Stay here but don't call me if you get splinters, again.

(helicopter descends and G.I. JOE climbs up ladder)

G.I. JOE
You're gonna miss me, babe! You know where to find me

BARBIE
Not if I can help it

(voices call Barbie by name)

BARBIE
Sure you won't change your mind, Ken?

KEN
...so warm and welcoming, my Surfy...

BARBIE

'I'm coming Woody and Buzz!'



BARBIE runs off to meet her new friends