Barbie, Ken & the Rest in Plasticville: at the Olympics

THE CONTINUING STORY OF LIFE AMONG THE PLASTIC SET

SCENE: Barbie, Ken and G.I. Joe have arrived at the Olympics. They arrive at a high-end hotel and are joined by the Bratz', who have been invited as celebrity guests

YASMIN

Like...yeah Barbie. Like...where's your invitation, like

CLOE

I think that she doesn't have one

BARBIE

Like...you shouldn't think too much, CLOE. It's no good for your brain

JADE

Don't be bitter, Barbie. It's like...not your fault you're not popular

BARBIE

Come again? I've got mansions all over the world. I've got a huge reputation!

CLOE, YASMIN, JADE, SASHA (together)

So we hear. Like...are you still - um - dating - that Australian dude?

G.I. JOE

Hey! She gave him up when she started going with me. Hey Bratz! Wanna see my weapon? It's really strong and big! I'll even let you touch it if youze want. It's right here...

CLOE

Like...you are sooo disgusting. We're outta here!

(the Bratz storm off)

G.I. JOE

Who cares! They're big sissies anyway. Talking about sissies, what happened to Ken?

BARBIE

Like...who knows...who cares. He's always embarrasses me with his wardrobe. Like...I'm a star! I have to be surrounded with people who wear designer names

(a loud shout is heard accompanied by "surf's up!")

(cont'd.) OhGawd! Like...it's Ken. 

(KEN is wearing swimming trunks and slides up to BARBIE on a surf board through the hotel lobby)

KEN

Hi pretty lady! Have we met? My name is Ken!

BARBIE

Like...it's me, Ken. Barbie...your one and only? Remember?

KEN

Your face looks familiar... Oh my and who is this handsome dude? Do you have a name, soldier?

G.I. JOE

Ten-shun! Get down on your stomach and give me fifty!

KEN

We hardly know each other but if that's your little game...

BARBIE

Ken...Ken...Ken...you definitely have swallowed too much water and it's affected your brain. 

(BARBIE's cell phone rings)

'Hello? Who? I can hardly hear you...Blaine? Is it really you? You sound so far away... You're where?

(BARBIE looks across the hotel lobby and spots BLAINE, who runs across the lobby to greet her. They embrace)

BLAINE

Like...I figured you would be 'ere... I never stopped thinkin' 'bout you, darlin

BARBIE

I missed you, too!

KEN

And I missed you too, Blaine!

BARBIE, KEN AND THE REST IN PLASTICVILLE: at the Olympics

The continuing story about life among the plastic people

SCENE: BARBIE and her entourage, KEN and GI JOE, arrive at the Olympics. Ken is in charge of carrying suitcases

BARBIE
Like...bring me my cosmetic case, Ken. I have to beautify myself for the press. Stop dragging your feet!

KEN
(crawling on his knees)
I can't help it, beach babe. Your luggage is weighing me down

BARBIE
Oh plleeze! You're always making excuses to get out of work and stop calling me beach babe!

GI JOE
Yeah sissy boy! Real men don't talk like that. A hundred push-ups will take care of your shoulder problem, soldier. Down on your knees and start pumping

KEN
Did you have something special in mind for you and me?

BARBIE
Did I tell you to leave your stupid surf board back in Malibu, Ken?

KEN
No can do. Me and my board here are close buds. Where I go - he goes. Right, Shane?

(KEN caresses his surf board)

(Cont'd. Ken)
...mmmmmm.....

BARBIE
You gave your board a name? Like...that is so...like...really sick and lame

GI JOE
We should'a lost him at the airport, babe. What good is he if he can't even carry suitcases?

BARBIE
The world knows us as Barbie and Ken. We're always gonna be together even when we break up. Barbie and Ken...Barbie and Ken... 'Oh look - Barbie and Ken have a new fashion line.' I'm sick of it! I mean, of course, it's sickening how close we are

KEN
...I love you, Shane...

GI JOE
All you gottta do is give the word and Ken and his wooden friend will surf the waves forever, if you get my drift.

KEN
Somebody say surf's up?

(cups his hand behind his ear)

BARBIE
What are you doing, Ken?

KEN
Surf's up! I can smell it! Time to hang ten off the top!

BARBIE
Like...put your clothes back on. There are no waves here

KEN
Must be the smell of the salt water taffy that's confusing me

BARBIE
Or all that water that's gone to your brain. Oh no! What are they doing here?

(The BRATZ approach)

BARBIE
What are YOU pathetic pieces of plastic doing here?

YASMINE
We were invited.

JADE
Yeah...we have an official invitation.

(extends invitation to show BARBIE)

(cont'd) Where's yours, Barbie

BARBIE
Like...um...well... Oh look, Ken! Our taxi has arrived

KEN
(waxing his surfboard)
Just a sec - I gotta shine my board. Never know when I'm gonna need it...gotta be surfing-ready

JADE
You bought...him, along?

BARBIE
You know he's my one and only! Like...we're together forever!

GI JOE
Hey! What about me?

BARBIE
GI Joe here guards by body. It's insured for five million dollars, y'know

GI JOE
That's not all I do for her, right babe?

(unknown to BARBIE, reporters are standing behind the group, taking notes. They all get on their cell phones upon hearing GI JOE's statement)

REPORTER
I just got a big scoop right here at the Olympics games. Not new medals. GI Joe and Barbie are testing mattresses again.