SCENES FROM LIFE
At the Pharmacy - The Lineup part III

SCENE: A PHARMACY. A LINE OF PEOPLE WAIT TO PAY FOR ITEMS. A MAN AND A WOMAN IN THEIR 60'S STAND IN LINE WITH A SHOPPING CART FILLED WITH TOILET PAPER AND KLEENEX/TISSUES.

CASHIER

Sorry - only two packages per customer. See the sign, there?

(m/w have a discussion and analyze the situation

CASHIER (cont'd.)

Tell you what - I could make two bills, which will allow you to buy the specials

(another animated discussion lasting more than a minute between man and the woman. Man departs and woman waits while man gets shopping cart and travels up and down the aisles buying still more items before heading for cash)

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

(aside to cashier while watching couple unload the new items on to the counter)

How long will this take d'ya figure? 

CASHIER

Not too long - I hope. I still have to cancel the bill...

CASHIER (aside to couple)

'I'll cancel this bill and make up two new one's'

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

Why? Just make up one new bill for everything

CASHIER

(gesturing to items in cart)

Can't do that. They added more items

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

But we have to wait still longer if you make two bills. Some people (gestures with face to man/woman) have absolutely no consideration for the rights of others!

ANOTHER CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMANCUSTOMER

Do you believe this?

(MAN removes items from shopping cart)

MAN

I changed my mind. I don't want these after all

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

Say what? You're kidding, right?

CASHIER

Uh-oh...that means...

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

Please - don't say it - don't tell me you have to cancel the bill, again

ANOTHER CUSTOMER BEHIND CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

This is incredible!

CASHIER

(to man/woman)

Are you sure that's it, now?

(WOMAN stares at MAN)

MAN

That's it. We really don't need all that toilet paper

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN
Oh I don't know about that...

CASHIER

Can I make up the bill now?

MAN

You can add it all up

CASHIER

(folding cancelled cash slips)

Just a minute while I put these bills away... Okay. That will be a total of blah-blah

MAN

(searching the pockets in his pants, frantically)

Um - seems I left my wallet in the car. Sorry. I'll be back in a minute

(MAN rushes out of line and outside)

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN
(aside to cashier)

This is unbelieve! Let us go before them! We've waited long enough

CASHIER

Can't...

CUSTOMER BEHIND CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

...I know. You tallied their bill

ANOTHER CUSTOMER BEHIND CUSTOMER

Such selfishness! Does he not realize how dangerous it is to leave a wallet in the car?

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

Obviously not

(MAN rushes in, produces wallet, pays)

CASHIER

Do you have our pharmacy point card?

MAN

What's that?

(aside to CUSTOMER behind CUSTOMER behind MAN/WOMAN)

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

Please don't ask him that!

MAN

How do I get this card? Do I get something for free?

CLERK

You have to fill out our application. Then you get points

MAN

Do you have an application form?

Aside to customers: 'This won't take long'

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

(loudly)

'Hello! Is there another cashier on duty? Customers need help - now!'

(another cashier arrives and opens a cash)

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

Thank goodness you opened. I mean, talk about being selfish..

CLERK

Um...there's a limit on how many soft drinks you can buy. Only 4 per customer

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

Oh really? I didn't know that. Go know!

(turning to customer behind her)

(cont'd) 'Excuse me but would you mind buying me a few bottles of soft drink that I of course will pay for? It won't take long. I'll just run over there and get more bottles...be back in a sec..'.

GIMME SPACE
BY ELEANOR TYLBOR

SCENE: A PHARMACY OR ANYWHERE, ACTUALLY. THREE PEOPLE ARE WAITING TO PAY FOR ITEMS AT THE CASH.

CUSTOMER 1
(placing item on counter along with umbrella)
Just going to put this down here... Ooops - didn't mean to crowd anyone

CUSTOMER 2
(directly behind)
No problem. I'll just move my items back a bit to give you some more room

CUSTOMER 1
Don't worry about it. It's only a jar of jam.

CUSTOMER 2
Is it good. I mean, have you had some before?

CUSTOMER 1
Nope. First time. It was on special at nine-nine cents. Mind you, it's only good for 10 more days...
CUSTOMER 2
Do you eat a lot of jam?

CUSTOMER 1
Depends on the day. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Depends how jammy I'm feeling.

CUSTOMER 3
(in front of line)
I'm here!

CUSTOMER 1
Sorry?

CUSTOMER 3
I'm here, too.

CUSTOMER 1
I see

CUSTOMER 3
I need room for my things

CUSTOMER 1
O-kay...

CUSTOMER 3
Could you give me some room for my things, please?

CUSTOMER 1 looks at her for a few seconds, down at her items and moves the umbrella and jam away from CUSTOMER 3

CUSTOMER 3
Your umbrella is wet and it's touching my toilet paper!

CUSTOMER 1
That would be as a result of the pouring rain outside

CUSTOMER 3
You're making the counter wet

CUSTOMER 1
O-kay...sorry but the cashier is doing your items and you'll be outta here, soon

CUSTOMER 3
Still, your umbrella takes up a lot of space

CUSTOMER 1
I already removed it off the counter and moved back my jam so it won't touch your items

CUSTOMER 3
But you made the counter all wet

CUSTOMER 1
(putting hand in purse, produces Kleenex and wipes counter)
There! Allll gone!

CUSTOMER 3 grabs bag

CUSTOMER 3
There should be a sign posted telling people they can't put wet umbrellas on the counter!

CUSTOMER 3 storms out of store

CUSTOMER 1
Some people just gotta have their space!

(turns to CUSTOMER 2)

Oh gee - am I dripping water on your feet? I'm so sorry...here let me wipe them...