SCENES FROM LIFE
At the Pharmacy - The Lineup part III

SCENE: A PHARMACY. A LINE OF PEOPLE WAIT TO PAY FOR ITEMS. A MAN AND A WOMAN IN THEIR 60'S STAND IN LINE WITH A SHOPPING CART FILLED WITH TOILET PAPER AND KLEENEX/TISSUES.

CASHIER

Sorry - only two packages per customer. See the sign, there?

(m/w have a discussion and analyze the situation

CASHIER (cont'd.)

Tell you what - I could make two bills, which will allow you to buy the specials

(another animated discussion lasting more than a minute between man and the woman. Man departs and woman waits while man gets shopping cart and travels up and down the aisles buying still more items before heading for cash)

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

(aside to cashier while watching couple unload the new items on to the counter)

How long will this take d'ya figure? 

CASHIER

Not too long - I hope. I still have to cancel the bill...

CASHIER (aside to couple)

'I'll cancel this bill and make up two new one's'

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

Why? Just make up one new bill for everything

CASHIER

(gesturing to items in cart)

Can't do that. They added more items

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

But we have to wait still longer if you make two bills. Some people (gestures with face to man/woman) have absolutely no consideration for the rights of others!

ANOTHER CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMANCUSTOMER

Do you believe this?

(MAN removes items from shopping cart)

MAN

I changed my mind. I don't want these after all

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

Say what? You're kidding, right?

CASHIER

Uh-oh...that means...

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

Please - don't say it - don't tell me you have to cancel the bill, again

ANOTHER CUSTOMER BEHIND CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

This is incredible!

CASHIER

(to man/woman)

Are you sure that's it, now?

(WOMAN stares at MAN)

MAN

That's it. We really don't need all that toilet paper

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN
Oh I don't know about that...

CASHIER

Can I make up the bill now?

MAN

You can add it all up

CASHIER

(folding cancelled cash slips)

Just a minute while I put these bills away... Okay. That will be a total of blah-blah

MAN

(searching the pockets in his pants, frantically)

Um - seems I left my wallet in the car. Sorry. I'll be back in a minute

(MAN rushes out of line and outside)

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN
(aside to cashier)

This is unbelieve! Let us go before them! We've waited long enough

CASHIER

Can't...

CUSTOMER BEHIND CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

...I know. You tallied their bill

ANOTHER CUSTOMER BEHIND CUSTOMER

Such selfishness! Does he not realize how dangerous it is to leave a wallet in the car?

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

Obviously not

(MAN rushes in, produces wallet, pays)

CASHIER

Do you have our pharmacy point card?

MAN

What's that?

(aside to CUSTOMER behind CUSTOMER behind MAN/WOMAN)

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

Please don't ask him that!

MAN

How do I get this card? Do I get something for free?

CLERK

You have to fill out our application. Then you get points

MAN

Do you have an application form?

Aside to customers: 'This won't take long'

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

(loudly)

'Hello! Is there another cashier on duty? Customers need help - now!'

(another cashier arrives and opens a cash)

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

Thank goodness you opened. I mean, talk about being selfish..

CLERK

Um...there's a limit on how many soft drinks you can buy. Only 4 per customer

CUSTOMER BEHIND MAN/WOMAN

Oh really? I didn't know that. Go know!

(turning to customer behind her)

(cont'd) 'Excuse me but would you mind buying me a few bottles of soft drink that I of course will pay for? It won't take long. I'll just run over there and get more bottles...be back in a sec..'.

SCENES FROM LIFE: A SHORT PLAYETTE



AT THE HAIRDRESSER PART 4



SCENE: A SMALL HAIR SALON. FEMALE CLIENT (FC) ENTERS, GOES TO THE BACK OF SALON WHERE HAIR STYLIST, PEGGY, IS WASHING HAIR



FEMALE CLIENT (FC)
I know I’m early. See you’re busy there...

HAIR STYLIST
I’ll be ready for you in fifteen minutes

FC
Should I waste some time next door at the pharmacy?

HAIR STYLIST
Why - you need something?

FC
My cosmetic collection always needs refreshing. Maybe a new lipstick...

HAIR STYLIST
Okay. Be back in ten minutes

FC
I’ll be back before then. If I hang around there too long, the store clerks start looking at me funny

(starts to leave – stops to greet MARY, another hair stylist)

‘Hi Mary! How y’a doin’?’

MARY

(blowing a client’s hair dry)

Hot! That’s how I’m doing! The friggin' air conditioner isn’t working! Must be a hundred degrees, probably more, in here!

FC
Sorry I asked...

(FC leaves and upon returning, sits on couch)

(cont’d. FM1)
God is it hot outside!

MARY
Damned right and the damned air conditioner is as useless as tits on a bull!

FC
I get the picture. Since you so eloquently brought it to my attention, how come it’s so hot in here? It’s usually freezing

MARY
Like I said...

FC
...because ‘the friggin' air conditioner isn’t working!’ Has the boss called somebody to fix it?

MARY
Are you kidding? That would cost money! Shit! Look at me! I’m dripping wet!

PEGGY
Ohmygawd. Mary – you’re even sweating through your pants! Gross! And in the wrong place, too!

MARY
Oh gee thanks! Maybe I should just do hair in my underwear!

PETER (another hair stylist)
Don't encourage her! She will!

PETER'S CUSTOMER
That would be interesting!

FC
It’s like there’s no oxygen in the air. Really hot in here

PETER
We’ve got it at number six – that’s the highest. The system needs cleaning

FC
So why doesn’t your boss have it cleaned

PETER
Because it cost money!

FC
But in the end, it’ll cost him more money if he doesn’t maintain the system!

PETER
You know that, and I know that, but he’s too cheap!

MARY
Shit! I can’t take this heatttttt! Put down the temperature some more

PETER
If I do that – the whole system will break down. Would that be better?

PEGGY
It’s the hair dryers. They make it hot, too. Then the door opening and closing...

FC
It’s not really that bad...I mean, it’s bearable

PEGGY
Wait ‘til you have a towel and plastic poncho around your neck for a while!

MARY
Somebody do something before I scream!

(goes to small fridge and grabs bottle of cold water and gulps it down)

PEGGY
Okay – I’m leaving you my curling iron while I’m away on vacation. What else do you need?

MARY
Cold friggin' air!

PC
(laughing)
Mary does have a way with words, doesn't she!

PEGGY
I mean, aside from that? Any other equipment you want to borrow?

MARY
How long you going for?

PEGGY
You know how long - two whole weeks! Can’t wait!

MARY
Maybe you should re-consider. You never know - when you come back, we might not have a boss anymore if somebody doesn’t cool this place down!

(softly to Peggy and FC) ‘Oh look who’s here. Mr. Big Bucks himself!’

(salon boss strolls in)

SALON BOSS
(laughing)
So? Hot enough for everyone?

(to be continued...next time: Mary offers her boss some advice)

Plasticville: Barbie, Ken & the Rest

Actually shared life in Plasticville along with other pieces years back, but it was a lot of fun to write so I'm bringing it back to share again as a personal encore from myself. Will share more depending on the interest and could just add some new follow-ups.






BARBIE, KEN AND THE REST IN PLASTICVILLE: THE CONTINUING SAGA OF LIFE AMONG THE PLASTIC SET




SCENE:A PARTY AT A MALIBU BEACH HOUSE. THERE IS MUSIC IN THE AIR AND THROUGH THE PICTURE WINDOW, WE CAN SEE BARBIE AND HER FRIENDS DANCING ITUP (on tippy-toes). A CONVERTIBLE DRIVES UP AND KEN, DRESSED IN HIS USUAL SURFING GEAR, GETS OUT AND HIDES BEHIND BUSHES AND PEERS INSIDE. SUDDENLY, GI JOE HOLDING HIS EVER-PRESENT WEAPON LOOKS OUT A HUGE PICTURE WINDOW. THE DOOR OF THE BEACH HOUSE OPENS AND GI JOE STANDS AT THE DOORWAY.




GI JOE
Who's there? Is somebody hiding 'cause if you are and I catch you, I'll blast the living daylights...




(BARBIE JOINS GI JOE)


BARBIE
Oh Joe! Just stop it right now! You are like...soooo paranoid


GI JOE
Thanks! That's what everyone tells me


BARBIE
Please come in and close the door! You're like...embarrassing me in front of my friends


GI JOE
Them Bratz babes? Lemme tell you Barbie doll - they ain't your friends! You should hear what they say about you behind your back


BARBIE
You know I can't see or hear what's going on behind my back! I can't even turn my head without help...or even scratch an itch


GI JOE
Me neither...but I hear all of them whispering


BARBIE
Oh plleeze! You see plots everywhere! I can't find any kitchen help because you insist on frisking the help every five minutes


GI JOE
Hey - me and the pool guy are close friends now


BARBIE
I heard...very close friends


GI JOE
Ssssh....hear that?


BARBIE
What? I don't hear anything


GI JOE
Well I do! I'm trained to hear. My ears are a lethal weapon


BARBIE
So is your brain


GI JOE
Thank you! Love 'ya babe! Uh-oh! There's somebody hiding somewhere!


BARBIE
It's probably just Paris Hilton's dog in heat again. The dog is always hot for my chiuahua, Mimi.


GI JOE
No - it's a human...and...it's hiding somewhere....over there!(


(GI JOE RUNS OVER TO THE BUSHES WHERE KEN IS HIDING)


GI JOE
Whoever is in there better show your face or I'm gonna shoot first and ask questions later. Wait a minute... I'm gonna ask questions and then shoot later... Something like that


(KEN SLOWLY STANDS UP)


KEN
Don't shoot! It's me, Joe! Ken! Remember? Our fun games at my beach house? I dress up like nurse and you...


GI JOE
Yeah...I remember. My soldier senses tell me that you're... an enemy! Sorry but I gotta blast you, Kenny boy


KEN
No! I swear! I'm a friend!


BARBIE
Ken? Is that you? How many more times do I have to tell you that we're through?


GI JOE
'ya want me to shoot him, babe? 'Cause I can! Just say the word!


KEN
No! You can't shoot me because...because...

OLD SOLDIERS - UPDATE

Made some progress and added some new dialogue to "Old Soldiers". Now working on starting from the beginning of the story, rather than continue to focus on the section where a group of old vets meeting in the bar/pub. This will stay as is (at least for the time being) but before proceeding, I have to  see where it all began.

I'm planning to introduce a female into the mix in order to show that Joe has a soft side. Most likely other characters who will show themselves as the writing progresses. Never know which direction a story line will go and that's what makes the task so interesting.

As much as I dislike - make that detest - doing a character chart and breakdown, it really does help. Actually, I didn't do it for the other two plays since I knew the beginning and ending before I even started writing the plays. The Old Soldiers story line is there in the short story version but like my paintings, it can change a hundred times until I get that internal "click" indicating it's working. Hopefully, this will help the process. Love this story and became close to the characters to the point where on occasion, I actually quote a line out loud when I'm in a situation that fits the line.

SCENES FROM LIFE

THE LINE UP II - a short playette for a short encounter

By Eleanor Tylbor

SCENE: Supermarket. 8-items-or-less line, where three people are waiting to check out items. A female with a shopping cart attempts to go through

FEMALE
Um - excuse me?

Male in front appears not to hear her so she speaks a little louder

FEMALE
Excuse me! I'd like to pass?

Male glances at her, then quickly away

FEMALE attempts to go by but is unable, due to the man blocking her

FEMALE
The aisle is wide and I'm thin, but not enough to squeeze by. If you don't mind - could you move to the side?

the other two customers gladly move against the counter to allow the shopping cart & female to pass. Male mumbles something unintelliglble, pointing to the door

FEMALE
Look - I had to pee. Okay? I parked my shopping cart outside the door and now I have to get through here to shop. So if you'll step aside...

MALE
Go out and around!

FEMALE
Pardon? You expect me to take my cart, go outside and re-enter when all you have to do is move towards the side, which will take a mere 10 seconds? Not!

the two shoppers move against the counter, again to allow the cart to pass

FEMALE
I don't believe this!

MAN STANDING AT COUNTER NEARBY
Me neither! I've been watching the guy. Misery!

FEMALE
Are you going to let me by or not?

MAN stands defiantly in middle of checkout aisle

FEMALE stands leaning on shopping cart, glaring at man who up until this point has been taking his time packing his things in bags.

FEMALE
(as MAN moves by her)
You are just too kind and what a gentleman! I'll make sure to remember your face in case you want the same courtesy.

MAN STANDING NEARBY AT COUNTER
Oh he's a real nice guy, alright!

As MALE passes, FEMALE shopper moves her shopping cart forward and somehow rolls a wheel over his foot

FEMALE
Oh no! How clumsy of me! Just one foot, though. You still have another! And now to go shop for food...