SCENES FROM REAL LIFE
A SHORT PLAYETTE: "LOTTERY TICKET"



SCENE: CUSTOMER ENTERS SMALL CONVENIENCE STORE




CUSTOMER
(looking around at shelves)
Hmmmm...


(CONVENIENCE STORE OWNER LOOKS UP FROM READING HIS NEWSPAPER FOR A SPLIT SECOND AND CONTINUES READING)


CUSTOMER
Uh-huh....hmmmmmm...


STORE OWNER
Can I help?


CUSTOMER
I'm not sure...I don't see what I'm looking for


STORE OWNER
What is it that you're looking for?


CUSTOMER
Potato chips


STORE OWNER
(glancing over to the chip display)
We have lots of chips - good flavors, too!


CUSTOMER
Yes but...


STORE OWNER
...but?


CUSTOMER
You don't appear to have my flavor


STORE OWNER
And your flavor would be...?


CUSTOMER
Dill pickle with chives


STORE OWNER
Are you sure? We have a good variety...


CUSTOMER
- but no dill pickle with chives, though


STORE OWNER
You're the first person who has ever asked for that flavor


CUSTOMER
But maybe not the last! You should check into it


STORE OWNER
Perhaps...maybe try another flavor this time?


CUSTOMER
Neh! Gotta be -


STORE OWNER
- I know - dill pickle and chives. What about smoky bacon? That's popular with everyone


CUSTOMER
Neh...


STORE OWNER
Okay...I'll check into it for you


CUSTOMER
(approaching counter)
I'd like a lottery ticket


STORE OWNER
That I have. Which one?


CUSTOMER
The one that has a $50 million dollar jackpot


STORE OWNER
Uh-huh - everyone is buying them like crazy, today


CUSTOMER
Why should I be different? Now the big question is should I allow the computer to choose the numbers or should I pick them...


STORE OWNER
Why not buy two - let the computer choose one set of numbers and you choose the other


CUSTOMER
I suppose I could do that... Actually and between you and me - I don't trust the computer. I think they fix it so that certain areas have winners


STORE OWNER
Well this store ain't one of them!


CUSTOMER
(anxious)
You mean...you've never had a winner, here?


STORE OWNER
(quick to respond)
Of course we have. Not a major winner but winners - lots and lots of winners


CUSTOMER
Good. Then give me five


STORE OWNER
You trusting the computer?


CUSTOMER
Yup. Too lazy to fill in the numbers besides they've never come in.


STORE OWNER
But they could one day and you... I mean, of course, that's a good idea

(he presses the computer buttons and pulls out the strip of paper with numbers)

Good luck, lady! If you win - I win, too!


CUSTOMER
Don't hold your breath...there goes another ten buckeroonies. By the way, don't forget to ask about the dill pickle and chives


STORE OWNER
Of course. You never know who will want this flavor that I never heard of


CUSTOMER
Live and learn, I always say

(customer exits)

SECOND THOUGHTS...

As mentioned in previous writings, been attempting to re-write my short story, "Old Soldiers" as a radio play and enter it in the BBC International Radio Play competition. As a stand-alone story, it's probably if not one of my best, however, in order for it to be suitable for radio, it requires a complete re-think on my part.

Writing a play even when its completed, requires a lot of tweaking some of which can't be achieved without letting it "sit" for a while. We're talking (or writing) here about putting it away for a while and then returning for a re-read in order to gain some perspective. My first play, "Gin..." took - without exaggeration - at least2-3 years to complete and umpteen revisions. In fact, I still tweak it.

I'm beginning to think that perhaps my attempt at a re-write given the time left to enter (March), just isn't realistic. I've even toyed with the idea of submitting one of my full plays, "Make Me a Wedding" and cutting out some of the scenes. Problem is, cutting back on the scenes may result in watering down the content and the impact of the story line. It's a comedy and very funny but in the end, it should be in its present form. A radio play is 70 minutes while my play is 120 minutes. That's a lot of dialogue to cut.

So where am I? Really don't know at the present. I entered the competition a few years ago and didn't win but the play I entered was 60 minutes long. At least it was viable. Perhaps I have to go back to the drawing board and re-think the direction my writing has to take. Again.

SCENES FROM REAL LIFE
A SHORT PLAY-ETTE: "HAIRDRESSER"

SCENE: HAIRDRESSER SALON. IT'S A UNI-SEX SALON SERVING BOTH FEMALE AND MALES. A FEMALE CLIENT IS SITTING IN THE CHAIR AS A STYLIST BLOWS HER HAIR DRY. THE STAFF IS OF GREEK HERITAGE


CLIENT
Hi there! Know I'm early.

HAIRDRESSER
Hi sweetie. Be with you soon.

CLIENT
D'ya want me to waste time until you take me? I can wander around the pharmacy next door. Need a few things anyway...how long should I take? Five minutes?

HAIRDRESSER
Make it 10 - no 20...

CLIENT
Sure. Can't stay there longer, though. Last time I was getting some wierd looks like I was a prospective shop lifter.

(female client returns 10 minutes later)

HAIRDRESSER
Another five minutes, okay sweetie?

CLIENT
Fine. Quiet today, huh?

PETER (MALE STYLIST)
Been quiet all week

CLIENT
People aren't making appointments for the holidays?

PETER
(glumly)
Very quiet...

HAIRDRESSER
Okay sweetie. Come sit in the chair. I'm ready for you, now.

CLIENT
Same color like always

HAIRDRESSER
Eyebrows too?

CLIENT
Yup

HAIRDRESSER
I don't know why you want to dye them. There's hardly anything there.

CLIENT
(chuckling)
Geez - thanks. You sure know how to make a customer feel good!

HAIRDRESSER
I meant, of course, that you hardly have any grey in your eyebrows

CLIENT
True...but sometimes a few sneak through

HAIRDRESSER
You could just pluck them

CLIENT
Much easier to color them and besides, I end up taking off chunks of skin with the hairs. Nothing like walking around with red scabs on your eyebrows

(CLIENT is sitting in chair, reading magazine with hair covered in dye)

HAIRDRESSER
Haven't had a full cigarette all day

CUSTOMER
Healthier for you. Progress - the magazines are up to the year 2009 now.

HAIRDRESSER
I'll be back. Need some nicotine in my blood

(Hairdresser leaves salon to smoke. Stella, another hairdresser, sits in chair next to customer. Other hairdresser returns from her nicotine break and cuts the hair of a male customer)

STELLA
Did you notice how thin blank-blank (name of hairdresser) is?

CLIENT
She's lost a lot of weight... 'Hey blank-blank (HD) - how come you lost so much weight?'

HAIRDRESSER
I dunno. Nerves I guess - and hard work. Been busy and sometimes I skip meals

CLIENT
Not a healthy practice. Wow - I never saw you so skinny. Sure you're okay? I mean, no health problems?

STELLA
She's too thin! She should gain some weight!

HAIRDRESSER
I eat healthy, that's why I'm slim - not skinny! Don't eat junk food

STELLA
(who is on the plump side)
Me neither - and look at me! It's just not fair! I watch what I eat and even work out 5 days at the gym and still I don't lose a pound! Some people are soooo lucky!

CLIENT
Why don't you try writing down everything you eat for a day or two? Maybe you don't even realize. You have to watch portion size

STELLA
I do, I do! Look at me! It's just so unfair! Blah-blah on the other hand is too skinny, don'chu think? She doesn't have a bum anymore or boobs

HAIRDRESSER
Are you two talking about me?

CLIENT
We're discussing your weight loss, girl!

STELLA
You gotta gain weight! Really!

CLIENT
Where is Stavros (salon owner)?

STELLA
He went to Ikea to buy a stand so we can make real coffee. Send a man to get something and he takes hours to make a choice. Who knows what he'll come back with

CLIENT
(looking around)
I don't see a coffee maker, here. Since when did you get one?

STELLA
He's hiding it downstairs. I found it by accident

CLIENT
Why is he hiding it?

STELLA
Who knows. These days you gotta make your customers feel welcome, like they're somebodys. You know, 'have a coffee'

CLIENT
Yeah...I suppose, mind you, I like tea myself...

(STAVROS walks in holding long, narrow package. Everyone gathers round and they place what looks like a plank of wood against the space alloted for the planned coffee maker, to measure the width of the shelf or whatever)

STELLA
(in Greek, but it's obvious what she's saying by their gestures)
It's too wide! Look!

(a man enters with lots of electronic tools hanging from a belt on his hips. He runs a stud finder up and down on the wall)

MAN
(shaking his head negatively)
No good. Too many wires here

STAVROS
Can't you do something?

MAN
I dunno...gotta think about this...

STELLA
We only want to put up this shelf so we can put a coffee pot on top. I mean, how hard is that?

(STELLA, THE ELECTRICIAN AND STAVROS disappear downstairs)

HAIRDRESSER
If we're lucky, you'll have a cup of coffee for your next appointment

CUSTOMER
Actually, I'm a tea drinker

HAIRDRESSER
No problem. We have a kettle to boil water. Between you and I, I like Starbucks coffee but keep it between ourselves

CUSTOMER
Of course. What type of tea do you have, by the way? I personally like green tea...

OLD SOLDIERS -THE BBC INTERNATIONAL RADIO PLAY COMP. : RE-WRITE PROGRESS UPDATE

Slowly revising the story and adding/modifying dialogue. Also added a character (or more) and changed some of the locations. The fiction story opens in Joe McKenna's apartment and I've changed it to Joe and friends getting together to toast an old soldier's demise, at a bar. It seemed that this would be something that a group of old vets would do.

I'm working on flushing out the various characters but I have to be careful that they're not "throw-away" people that will be dropped along the way. They have to be part of the story line. I like the 'feel' of the dialogue - so far. My problem has never been with writing dialogue - I'm strong in this area but to keep the story on track. To this end I'm going back to something I used to do, which is to write an outline.

The challenge, at least for me, is sound effects. In the bar, there is background music and the sound of people talking. The next scene will be in Joe's apartment, which is problematic sound-wise. Mind you he will be talking to his dog... The dog's responses are limited in speech-lolol. Then again, perhaps I'll have somebody drop by, which still won't give me more sound effects...

Definitely need an outline.