SCENES FROM LIFE - A SHORT PLAYETTE. AT THE COFFEE SHOP

SMALL TALK

 

SCENE:  SMALL COFFEE SHOP

AT RISE: A FEMALE (FEMALE 1) BRINGS A TRAY TO A TABLE, PULLS OUT A CHAIR,  SITS DOWN, STARTS TO UNWRAP A SANDWICH AND DRINK HER COFFEE

AN ELDERLY FEMALE (FEMALE 2) AT THE NEXT TABLE EATING A SANDWICH, TURNS AND STUDIES HER.

 

FEMALE 2

Your hair

 

FEMALE 1

Sorry?

 

FEMALE 2

Your hair is nice

FEMALE 1

(touching hair)

Thank you.

 

FEMALE 2

I mean, your hair is really nice. Who does it?

FEMALE 1

A local hair stylist where I live. I have it cut once a month and do it myself the rest of the time. Thanks again.

 

(Turns her attention to a cell phone)

 

FEMALE 2

My children and my grandchildren have those electronic gadgets

FEMALE 1

My cell?

FEMALE 2

Is that what it’s called?

FEMALE 1

Very handy. Pick up my mail…see what’s happening in the world…keeps me connected

 

FEMALE 2

Hmmm… I still like a good, old fashioned phone that stays in one place

 

FEMALE 1

Hardly use mine anymore

FEMALE 2

Mine is a black push-button phone but that’s okay. The way I see it, I don’t want the world to hear my conversations. Not that I have anything to hide.  Know what I mean?

FEMALE 1

Got’cha

 

(cell rings as FEMALE 2 watches FEMALE 1 speaking on the cell)

FEMALE 2

See? I heard everything you were saying. Not that I was trying to be nosy or anything. Point I’m making is there’s no privacy these days.

 

FEMALE 1

(staring down at her cell and involved in texting, somewhat ignoring FEMALE 2)

…uh-huh…

 

FEMALE 2

Know what? Before when I was in the bathroom, I heard a woman talking on those things while she was…well you know…peeing. That is like – so disgusting, don’t you think? I mean, couldn’t she live without that thing for the few minutes it would take to use the toilet? And she didn’t even flush! Probably didn’t even wash her hands, either, after!

FEMALE 1

…appointment tomorrow at 10 a.m. with John…

 

FEMALE 2

I’m sorry. You’re busy.

 

 (silence between them for 10 seconds)

 

(cont’d. FEMALE 2) You’re a coffee drinker I would guess?

FEMALE 1

Yup…

FEMALE 2

Don’t you find that coffee loses flavor in a paper cup?

FEMALE 1

...uh-huh...

 

FEMALE 2

People don’t have time to take care of the little things in life, anymore, like taking the time to really talk one-on-one. Human communication is a lost art

(FEMALE 1 loads her tray and starts to get up, preparing to leave, her focus on her cell)

FEMALE 1

Nice talking to you. Have a great day

 

FEMALE 2

Same here.  (calling as she walks away) ‘Love her your hair…’

 

(a female (FEMALE 3) sits down at the table next to FEMALE 2 , drinking coffee and reading a newspaper)

 

FEMALE 2

Always good to keep updated with the latest news. I would give up lots of things before giving up a newspaper that I actually touch and flip the pages. Mind you, I think our kind are dinosaurs

 

FEMALE 3
(inattentive)

Um – I guess…maybe…

 

(FEMALE 2 continues to talk waiting/hoping for a reaction from FEMALE 3)

 

FEMALE 2

Mind you, these days people get all their latest news and speak to each other on those cell phone gadgets but I don’t own one, though…  Don’t even have a computer…my kids wanted to get me one but then I’d have to learn to use it… By the way, your hair is really nice…who does it?

SCENES FROM LIFE; A SHORT PLAYETTE
AT THE HAIRDRESSER: THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT

SCENE: SMALL HAIR STYLING SALON. HAIRDRESSERS ARE BUSY CAUGHT UP WITH DOING CLIENT'S HAIR. CLIENT E WALKS IN.


CLIENT E
Hi! Know I'm early as usual...

PENNY (HAIRDRESSER)
It's the friggin' phone again...never stops ringing...'THROW IT AGAINST THE WALL, PETER!'

CLIENT E
I see you're busy. I'll just go next door and look around..

PENNY
No stay! I've got another client coming at 3 o'clock...and another one a half hour later... Look at my book - full up! They expect me to do miracles! If I can't fit them in, I can't fit them in! What do they want from me?

PETER (MALE HAIRDRESSER)
'Pen - phone for you!'

PENNY
'Screw the phone!' Sit down E - I'll dye your hair in between customers. I have a cut and we'll work between the cut

(client sits down in chair. PENNY places plastic poncho around client's shoulders)

CLIENT E
You seem stressed. Your tooth again?

PENNY
Had root canal work. That was painless compared to what I go through here sometimes!

PETER
'Penny - for you again!'

PENNY
Tell them...tell them I'm dead! No don't say that. It's bad luck and I'll end up not going on vacation. Just say anything! I don't care! (aside to Client E) Sorry dear - I'm like, sooo exhausted

CLIENT E
Anybody in particular got you uptight?

PENNY
All of them! At least a lot of them They drive me nuts! Really!

CLIENT E
Hmmmmm...I can imagine. Must get hairy sometimes. Hey look! I made a hairdresser joke...

PENNY
...I'm gonna become a dog groomer. That's what I'm gonna do... No stress in that job. Yeah...maybe I should become a dog groomer...

MARIA (ANOTHER HAIRDRESER)
She's right! They do drive us crazy sometimes

PETER
'Whad'ya want me to say?'

PENNY
Give me the phone already...Hello? Uh-huh...let me check my appointment book... No - I can't take you at 2 o'clock on Wednesday. I'm full up... There is no way...I'm looking at this week's appointment book... What? Next week? Ohhhhhh...you didn't say that...then there's lots of room. Why don't you have a morning appointment...

(PENNY rolls her eyes)

PENNY
Dear - sweetie - I'm going to check and call you back...I'm doing a customer's hair...I have your number - oh do I have your number! Bye - call you back soon. Don't worry - I won't forget about you

BELLA (another client)
Rinse me, please!

PENNY
Bella hon - I just put the dye on fifteen minutes ago. It's not time yet

BELLA
Seems like you put it on an hour ago...

PENNY
(quietly and patiently)
No sweetie - just fifteen long minutes ago! Now why don't go back and read a nice magazine!

BELLA
I read them all and anyway, they're five years old. Are you sure you just put on the dye?

PENNY
(quietly, staring down at the floor)
Trust me...

(BELLA walks back to the seating area)

PENNY
...said the spider to the fly... 'Maria! What's the number of the vet?'

CLIENT E
You wouldn't...would you?

PENNY
Who knows! Thank goodness I'm going on a vacation in three weeks but it will seem like forever! Same color like always?

CLIENT E
Same as usual. Where you going?

PENNY
Cuba. Maybe they need a good groomer for dogs and cats there

CLIENT E
Cats don't need grooming. They do that themsleves

PENNY
So - maybe I'll start a new trend or something

PETER
(laughing)
'Penny - phone for you! It's your favorite client!'

PENNY
No! Not Mrs. H! Tell her...I left or something

PETER
'I told her you're busy but she won't take no for an aswer!"

PENNY
Maria...friend of mine. How about you take Mrs. H. I'll do you a big favor one day

MARIA
Penny - I love you dearly but there's no way

PENNY
Is there no relief for me from these people who make unreasonable demands? 'Peter - hand me the phone! Where are my stop smoking patches...'

(TO BE CONTINUED. WILL PENNY HOLD ON UNTIL HER CUBAN HOLIDAY? WILL SHE FIND ROOM  IN HER APPOINTMENT BOOK? WE WILL SEE...)

SCENES FROM LIFE: A SHORT PLAYETTE

CHRISTMAS AT THE HAIRDRESSER

SCENE: A SMALL HAIR SALON. A FEW DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS. PEOPLE ARE SEATED ON CHAIRS WAITING FOR THEIR TURN. THE SOUND OF HAIR DRYERS OBLITERATES THE SOUND OF THE TV SET. CLIENT ENTERS WITH A SMALL GIFT BAG IN HAND


CLIENT 1

‘Hello all! Busy, busy, today, aren’t we?’


(Hair stylists turn to look at her as she passes, nod. CLIENT approaches PEGGY, hair stylist, who is absorbed in conversation with another female, LATE CLIENT)


PEGGY

I really can’t do streaks today. I’m sorry but you’re over an hour late and look – my customer is here already


(PEGGY turns to CLIENT 1as does the late client)


CLIENT 1

Um...yes. I’m here for my appointment


PEGGY

See? She’s here on time!



(LATE CLIENT stares at PEGGY and then at CLIENT 1)


LATE CLIENT

But...when am I gonna get my hair done? Look – it’s a disaster!


PEGGY

Like I told you – you’re here an hour late. I tried to call you...


LATE CLIENT

...like I told you – I moved so that’s why you couldn’t reach me


PEGGY

Uh-huh... Well, that still doesn’t change anything. There is absolutely no way I can do your streaks today...or tomorrow



(LATE CLIENT moves close to PEGGY to discuss it further)



PEGGY

...no – it’s impossible....really I can’t...it’s not fair to my client...



CLIENT 1

Yes – it’s not fair to me! I have things to do – places to go...


LATE CLIENT

I’m sorry I’m late but I had to get here from the city by bus and...that’s why I’m late. Like I said – I moved. Guess I’ll have to wait


CLIENT 1

Your hair doesn’t look that bad


LATE CLIENT

Not to worry. I’ll just trim the front myself


PEGGY

No!!! Don’t do that! Look – sit down and I’ll at least cut your bangs (turning to CLIENT 1) ‘It’ll only take a couple of minutes’


LATE CLIENT

...traffic was bad – you know, Christmas and all...


PEGGY
(distracted)

...uh-huh... There.


(rolls chair back and starts to help LATE CLIENT out)


PEGGY (cont’d)

Call me. Okay? I’m sorry but you were late...


(PEGGY kisses LATE CLIENT on either cheek. LATE CLIENT leaves looking forlorn)


PEGGY

Why do I have to feel guilty, huh? Why?


MARY (other hair stylist)

She was friggin’ late! Not your fault!


CLIENT 1
(sitting down in chair)

If you would have done her hair now, all your other clients would have had to wait, including me


PEGGY

She tells me she moved but I called her before and got her answering machine. Does a person who moved still keep an answering machine on?


CLIENT 1

Perhaps...I mean, of course not! She was making excuses, probably


PEGGY

(picking up appointment book full of written appointments)

I mean, look! I’m full up for today AND tomorrow! Why am I felling guilty!


MARY

You shouldn’t! Feeling sick...


PEGGY

Take tea or something


MARY

(opening box of cough drops and taking one)


PEGGY

You shouldn’t take so many. They’ll upset your stomach


CLIENT 1

How often does the box say you can taken them?


MARY
(reading side of box)

‘...take as needed...’ (pops one into her mouth) Anyway, my doctor says they’re useless


CLIENT 1

So why take them?


PEGGY

They’re probably just candy, anyway


(phone rings)


MARY

Friggin phone! ‘Shut up!’ Never stops!



PEGGY

That’s why they pay us the big bucks, honey! To do clients hair


(PETER, male stylist stomps by, grabbing towel for hair)


PETER

Same shit – different smell...!


CLIENT 1

Oh I like that – never quite heard it expressed that way

MARY

I told him that!



PETER

Whatever...okay – you told me that...


CLIENT 1

Oh – almost forgot to give you this


(hands PEGGY small red bag)


CLIENT 1

‘Merry Christmas’! Figured rather than get you something you probably have a million of at home, a gift card is more practical


PEGGY

Oh you shouldn’t...it’s not necessary...but thank you. You’re right. This is the perfect gift


CLIENT1

BTW – we’re going lighter today


PEGGY

You don’t want streaks, right?


CLIENT1

No worry – no streaks


PEGGY

Good because streaks are out of the question. Gee – I hope my client got home okay...I mean, she’s not young or anything


CLIENT1

I’m sure she did


PEGGY

You think so? What happens if she really moved into town and she has to wait for busses and...


MARY

She has an answering machine, remember?


PEGGY

Oh yeah! Forgot about that. Anyway, two more days and I won’t have to think about streaks, or cuts, or blow-dry.


(phone rings – PEGGY answers)

‘No – like I told you an hour ago – I can’t do your streaks! Really... Where can I get in touch with you in case I have a few cancellations? That’s your old number isn't it? Didn’t you tell me you moved?’

SCENES FROM LIFE: A SHORT PLAYETTE



AT THE HAIRDRESSER PART 4



SCENE: A SMALL HAIR SALON. FEMALE CLIENT (FC) ENTERS, GOES TO THE BACK OF SALON WHERE HAIR STYLIST, PEGGY, IS WASHING HAIR



FEMALE CLIENT (FC)
I know I’m early. See you’re busy there...

HAIR STYLIST
I’ll be ready for you in fifteen minutes

FC
Should I waste some time next door at the pharmacy?

HAIR STYLIST
Why - you need something?

FC
My cosmetic collection always needs refreshing. Maybe a new lipstick...

HAIR STYLIST
Okay. Be back in ten minutes

FC
I’ll be back before then. If I hang around there too long, the store clerks start looking at me funny

(starts to leave – stops to greet MARY, another hair stylist)

‘Hi Mary! How y’a doin’?’

MARY

(blowing a client’s hair dry)

Hot! That’s how I’m doing! The friggin' air conditioner isn’t working! Must be a hundred degrees, probably more, in here!

FC
Sorry I asked...

(FC leaves and upon returning, sits on couch)

(cont’d. FM1)
God is it hot outside!

MARY
Damned right and the damned air conditioner is as useless as tits on a bull!

FC
I get the picture. Since you so eloquently brought it to my attention, how come it’s so hot in here? It’s usually freezing

MARY
Like I said...

FC
...because ‘the friggin' air conditioner isn’t working!’ Has the boss called somebody to fix it?

MARY
Are you kidding? That would cost money! Shit! Look at me! I’m dripping wet!

PEGGY
Ohmygawd. Mary – you’re even sweating through your pants! Gross! And in the wrong place, too!

MARY
Oh gee thanks! Maybe I should just do hair in my underwear!

PETER (another hair stylist)
Don't encourage her! She will!

PETER'S CUSTOMER
That would be interesting!

FC
It’s like there’s no oxygen in the air. Really hot in here

PETER
We’ve got it at number six – that’s the highest. The system needs cleaning

FC
So why doesn’t your boss have it cleaned

PETER
Because it cost money!

FC
But in the end, it’ll cost him more money if he doesn’t maintain the system!

PETER
You know that, and I know that, but he’s too cheap!

MARY
Shit! I can’t take this heatttttt! Put down the temperature some more

PETER
If I do that – the whole system will break down. Would that be better?

PEGGY
It’s the hair dryers. They make it hot, too. Then the door opening and closing...

FC
It’s not really that bad...I mean, it’s bearable

PEGGY
Wait ‘til you have a towel and plastic poncho around your neck for a while!

MARY
Somebody do something before I scream!

(goes to small fridge and grabs bottle of cold water and gulps it down)

PEGGY
Okay – I’m leaving you my curling iron while I’m away on vacation. What else do you need?

MARY
Cold friggin' air!

PC
(laughing)
Mary does have a way with words, doesn't she!

PEGGY
I mean, aside from that? Any other equipment you want to borrow?

MARY
How long you going for?

PEGGY
You know how long - two whole weeks! Can’t wait!

MARY
Maybe you should re-consider. You never know - when you come back, we might not have a boss anymore if somebody doesn’t cool this place down!

(softly to Peggy and FC) ‘Oh look who’s here. Mr. Big Bucks himself!’

(salon boss strolls in)

SALON BOSS
(laughing)
So? Hot enough for everyone?

(to be continued...next time: Mary offers her boss some advice)