JURY RULES IN FAVOR OF MATTEL. BARBIE MIFFED - KEN INDIFFERENT

by Eleanor Tylbor

"Barbie and Bratz dolls are sisters, a jury has decided in a major victory to Mattel Inc., the world's largest toymaker, in its copyright infringement lawsuit against rival MGA Entertainment Inc.

The federal jury decided Thursday that the designer of MGA's Bratz characters conceived the idea for the dolls while working for Mattel — a ruling that could mean millions of dollars for the Barbie maker when the jury considers possible damages during a separate proceeding.

"http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080718/ap_on_bi_ge/mattel_bratz


Word has it that Barbie and the Bratz' do not accept the reality that they are related.

"Like - how can...they be related to someone so...so...famous like me?" Barbie was quoted as commenting after the decision. "It's just not possible, that's all I have to say. Please make sure to photograph my best side."

For their part the Bratz girls aren't surprised with the verdict.

"We knew we were Mattel," Yasmine Bratz said. "I mean, we always felt - you know - Mattel-ish. We have our own site now and you can join us at http://www.bratz.com/ for fun and games and fashion advice."

"Fashion advice! What do...they know about fashion?" Barbie interjected. "No sense of color...or style...or...""Oh yeah? Well...girlfriend, at least we have joints that bend, which is more than can be said for you! I mean, who wants to spend their entire lives walking on tip-toe!"

"That is like...so mean!" Barbie said. "Isn't that a mean thing to say, Ken?" Barbie asked and then nudged her some times significant-other."Well isn't it?" Barbie asked once again.

"Surf's up!" Ken responded, throwing down his surfboard on the ground and attempting to surf ride the waves.

At that point the press conference was over and Barbie and the Bratz girls left arm-in-arms.

"Like...how can you go out with him?" Sasha Bratz asked, shaking her head incredulously watching Ken balancing on his surfboard.

"It's the price I must pay for being a famous personality and fashionista," Barbie sighed.

"Hey - this is a good wave!" Ken yelled, his arms flaying wildly on the floor.

PLAYWRIGHTVILLE

(the imaginary level of consciousness where rejected playwrights address the characters in their play)

by Eleanor Tylbor

Ellie has to break the bad news - again.

FEMALE CHARACTER
Uh-oh... I sense bad news is on the way

MALE CHARACTER
How do you know?

FEMALE CHARACTER
How do I know? How-do-I-know? Do you hav'ta ask that? Can't you feel the bad vibes?

MALE CHARACTER
I thought it was just a bad case of indigestion from all the popcorn she ate last night. She always pigs out on popcorn when her plays are rejected

FEMALE CHARACTER
Yeah - don't we know it! At least it's the diet kind. Okay - steel yourself now! It's coming...

ELLIE
Um - people...characters from my play... No. Friends

FEMALE CHARACTER
Okay. We get the picture. Been there, heard that. Now just cut to the chase. So?

ELLIE
Well there's good news and bad news

MALE CHARACTER
Do we get a choice which one we wanna hear first?

FEMALE CHARACTER
Oh pleeze! Just let her divest herself of all her angst will you, so that we can get on with our so-called purpose in life?

ELLIE
Ahem... The good news is that I entered the BBC International Playwriting Competition

FEMALE CHARACTERThat's it? You entered a competition? That's all the good news you have to tell us? Oh gawd - here it comes...

ELLIE
Well...I didn't win

FEMALE CHARACTER
This dear playwright, is not news. You are aware that we have been in this state for years now waiting...waiting...waiting for the call that never comes. Y'know - it's not easy being characters from a play longing to share ourselves with theatre audiences. The stage! The lights! The applause! Never to hear applause...

ELLIE
What can I say? Maybe I should just do another re-write

MALE CHARACTER
A re-write? Is that...like really necessary? I mean...the play does make a strong statement

FEMALE CHARACTER
Wait a minute. You won't change our characters, will you? You do like us, right?

ELLIE
Of course. I just want to tighten up the dialogue, is all. You'll be happy to hear that I'm going to have a public reading

MALE CHARACTERFantastic! At last real people will get to know us and who knows where that could lead!

ELLIE
Now all I hav'ta do is find some people. It can't be just anybody off the street, y'know!

FEMALE CHARACTER
Why not? A body is a body is a body. At least they're real people

ELLIE
Yeah - I suppose. Now all I hav'ta do is spread the word and set it all up...

MALE CHARACTER
We'll be waiting. We're always waiting

FEMALE CHARACTER
Ain't that the truth!