by Eleanor Tylbor
SCENE: BEDROOM.
2 a.m. THE PHONE RINGS
FEMALE (ANGIE)
(groggy)
Hel-hello?
VOICE (NOAH)
Angie – it’s me
ANGIE
You…who?
NOAH
Don’t you recognize my voice?
ANGIE
It’s two in the morning and I’m not into guessing
games
NOAH
(coughing and clearing his throat)
Think! Hasn’t been that long. Last year? Water? Two by
two?
ANGIE
You’re one of those perverts, aren’t you? I’m hanging
up…
NOAH
No! Please! If it’s my heavy breathing, I’ve got a
cold. All this rain… Does that mean anything to you?
ANGIE
You’re a sick man. Get help!
(ANGIE hangs up. Phone rings again)
(cont’d. ANGIE)
Hello?
NOAH
(coughing and sneezing. Sound of elephant and monkeys
in background)
It’s me again. I need your help. ‘Quiet guys! I’m
trying to talk here!’
ANGIE
You wanna believe you do, but I’m not listening to what
you wanna say! Are you aware that it’s illegal to keep wild animals?
NOAH
I got the word from someone high – really high up - to
do this. As I was saying – I need your help
ANGIE
You’re a drug pusher, too! You sick-o. I’m hanging up
now…
(sound of elephants)
NOAH
‘Didn’t I say to cool it?’ Oh just great. ‘Thanks for
fertilizing the floor, guys!’ Took me two days to clean up their last mess.
That’s what I get for forgetting to put diapers on them. So as I was saying
before I was interrupted, I need your help
ANGIE
And as I told you, I’m ending this phone call
(ANGIE hangs up. Phone rings again)
NOAH
Time is of the essence here. I’m sure you’ve noticed
all this rain we’ve been having. There’s a reason for it. Does this mean
anything to you at all? Rain? Animals?
ANGIE
Hang on a minute…are you…
NOAH
Noah’s the name and rain is my game
(NOAH sneezes and coughs)
Allergy to lion hair. Is it coming back to you now?
Remember last year when it rained like this and we worked together loading the
ark?
ANGIE
How could I forget the boa constrictors. Nearly choked
me
NOAH
Aw – they’re big jokers. They were just being
friendly-like. They do that to all newcomers.
ANGIE
Just how many newcomers have there been and what
happened to them?
NOAH
They weren’t the right type for the voyage, anyway.
Getting back to this phone call. Seems there’s talk of another big flood. We
gotta get prepared
ANGIE
That’s what you told me last time and nothing became
of it
NOAH
But didn’t you meet a male like I promised you?
ANGIE
Like I said, nothing became of it
NOAH
You can lead a man to the water but you can’t make him
come aboard, if you get my drift. Oh my – I made a joke…
ANGIE
Very humorous. Look – I’ve got a good job now…let me
think on it.
NOAH
How long do you need? An hour?
ANGIE
Gimme a break! A day or two at least! This isn’t an
easy decision
NOAH
You think I have nothing better to do? Come to think
of it, actually I don’t
ANGIE
I’d have to give up a lot
NOAH
More than you know if you let this opportunity go by
ANGIE
How do I get in touch with you?
NOAH
I’ll get back to you. (sound of fighting in the
background) Gotta go. The zebras are in the middle of two fueding lions and we
know how that’s gonna turn out.
TO BE CONTINUED
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