Scenes from Life: a Short Playette THE CHERRY PICKER

SCENES FROM LIFE:  A SHORT PLAYETTE

THE CHERRY PICKER

by Eleanor Tylbor

 

SCENE:   PRODUCE DEPT. OF SUPERMARKET. PEOPLE ARE GATHERED AROUND A DISPLAY OF CHERRIES

AT RISE: A WOMAN APPROACHES THE CHERRY DISPLAY, STOPS AND STUDIES THE PEOPLE GATHERED AROUND

 

FEMALE SHOPPER

Excuse me…um…can I get in here?

 (people ignore her)

 

(cont’d).  FEMALE SHOPPER

Excuse me, people…could you make space for me?

 (people continue to ignore her)

 

(cont’d.)  FEMALE SHOPPER

Hello? Earth to cherry pickers! An outsider would like to join you all!

 

(FEMALE SHOPPER moves her shopping cart forward and gently runs into someone)

 

CHERRY PICKER 1

Ouch! That hurt!

 

FEMALE SHOPPER

I tried asking politely to get close to the counter but everyone seemed deaf to my request, so I had to take things in my own hands or with my shopping cart as the case may be

 

CHERRY PICKER 1

You could have tapped me on the shoulder, y’know

 

FEMALE SHOPPER

Would it have made any difference?

 

CHERRY PICKER 1

Probably not but you could have tried

 

FEMALE SHOPPER

Good price for cherries. Guess that’s why there’s so many people hanging out here. Hmmmm…where are the plastic bags. ‘Anybody tell me where the plastic bags are?’ Anyone want to give an opinion?

 

CHERRY PICKER 2

(mouth full of cherries and oozing juice)

…are…none…left… Have to…ask…manager for…more…bags

 

FEMALE SHOPPER

Are those cherries you have in your mouth?

 

CHERRY PICKER 2

…uh-huh…

 

FEMALE SHOPPER

Would it be presumptuous of me to assume you didn’t pay for them?

 

CHERRY PICKER 2

…hav’ta taste them, first…

 

FEMALE SHOPPER

You do realize that in some circles that would be considered stealing

 

CHERRY PICKER 2

Everybody does it

 

FEMALE SHOPPER

And that makes it right? What are you doing! Did you just spit out that cherry pit back into the display?

 

CHERRY PICKER 2

Yeah…I mean, I didn’t wanna dirty the floor or anything. Somebody could slip and hurt themselves. Anyway, everybody does it

 

FEMALE SHOPPER

But…your saliva has germs, which you are depositing on the cherries

 

CHERRY PICKER 2

What else am I supposed to do with the pits?

 

FEMALE SHOPPER

You could refrain from tasting the cherries or at the very least put them in your pocket and take them home with you or something

 

CHERRY PICKER 2

Everyone else is doing it. Check out the display

 

(FEMALE SHOPPER looks down at the display of cherries)

 

FEMALE SHOPPER

Oh Gawd! |You’re right! To think I was about to put my hand inside there

 

CHERRY PICKER 2

You’re in luck. Here comes the produce manager with a roll of new plastic bags

 

PRODUCE MANAGER

‘Okay everyone -  move aside! I’m gonna clean up all the cherry pits at the bottom! Not healthy.’

 

CHERRY PICKER 2

Aren’t you going to take a bag for cherries?

 

FEMALE SHOPPER

Somehow I’ve lost my taste for them. There’s a sale on strawberries on the other counter, if only I can get near it…