SCENE: CITY ZOO. MORNING
Our story so far: a small zoo that is experiencing financial problems, has been seeking ways to cut back. The zoo denizens, aware of the situation, have been discussing the situation and seeking ways to ensure that they are not adversely affected.
CHILD VISITOR
Look mom – a zebra! How many stripes do you think it
has?
Who knows. A lot for sure
A trillion? Can I feed him, mom?
We don’t feed the zoo animals, sweetie. They have keepers who do that
ZEBRA
(to himself)
Could'a fooled me
ZEBRA
(to himself)
Could'a fooled me
But…there’s a machine here with zebra food. All you
have to do is put in some money and food falls out
Let’s see...five dollars to feed a zebra? Um…perhaps
another time
But mom – we only come here once in a while. He
looks like he’s hungry. His bones are sticking out on his side
ZEBRA
(to himself)
Listen to your son, mom. Better give them my sunken, sad-eyes look
CHILD
He looks really sad
ZEBRA
(to himself)
Listen to your son, mom. Better give them my sunken, sad-eyes look
CHILD
He looks really sad
Five dollars is a bit too much, sweetheart. Why don’t
we go see the other animals
Um…excuse me, lady. May I interject here?
Look! The zebra speaks just like we do
Don’t be silly. Zebras don’t talk…
But…I heard it with my own ears
There’s probably a speaker hidden somewhere in the
cage. Zebras don’t talk. Let’s move along…
They do when the situation calls for it and this qualifies. May I have
your ear for a moment? I don't mean for lunch or anything although it does look appealing. Just a little levity to ease this dire situation
Okay. You got me. Is it on the zebra itself? Where'd you hide the speaker?
(she searches the cage)
Really – there are no speakers. We’ve always had
this ability but kept it quiet because that’s what humans expect of zebras. Listen lady - why don’t you give your son five dollars for the feeding machine?
I’ll bite. This is one of those TV shows where you
catch people off guard, right? I’m not forking over five dollars because it’s too-much-money. Got that, TV people?
See…thing is – the zoo has fallen on hard times and
consequently has cut back on the amount of food we get. Look at my rib
cage. Mere skin and bones. I’m really hungry! The last time I had a decent meal was
breakfast yesterday. Give the kid five bucks. Please! Unless you want the slow
but certain demise of a zebra on your conscience
(laughing)
What next? When will the program be on, anyway? We
might be on TV, sweetie!
(shaking its head sadly)
Yeah – you’re right on. There’s somebody
manipulating my mouth. The producer is telling me now that they need some
visuals of you putting money in the machine and feeding me for the show
Surrrre!
‘Desperation’ but you might find it difficult to find
in your TV listings.
We’ll look for it. Let’s go see the cheetahs now,
honey
So how’d it go?
Managed to get something but it was a hard sell, let me tell you!
Did you do your usual tap dance routine or stand
there staring at them and looking pathetic?
Neh. Told them they were part of a TV show and that the
producers wanted images of them feeding me
SOUND: Cheetah roaring
RAT
Heard that they're thinking of doubling up animals in cages to save space. Cheetah told me yesterday that he's willing to share his cage with you
ZEBRA
Oh I'm sure he'd love that
You never told me we were gonna be on TV. Gotta go
spread the word to the rest of the animals. What’s the name of the program,
anyway?
It's not real…I only said that to… Desperation. The name
of the show is Desperation
Desperation?
Indeed
(to be continued)
(to be continued)
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