SCENES FROM LIFE: A SHORT PLAYETTE
AT THE SUPERMARKET - KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE FRIES
SCENE: A SUPERMARKET. Customer approaches the supermarket clerk, who is placing items on a shelf.
CUSTOMER
Hello? I have a problem
CLERK
Is it something on one of these shelves?
CUSTOMER
Um - no. Not really...
CLERK
Then it's not my responsibility
CUSTOMER
(looks around, leaves and then returns to speak to same clerk)
I don't seem to be able to find any other clerks. Perhaps you could help...
CLERK
What food item is it?
CUSTOMER
French fries
CLERK
Really can't help you if they're frozen
CUSTOMER
Duh! Do they come any other way? What I want to know...
CLERK
(focusing on stacking cans on shelves)
Sorry. You'll hav'ta speak to someone who works in that section
CUSTOMER
Look - if I could find someone who works for this store in the frozen food section, I would have gone to her or him, but unfortunately there's nobody to be found or seen
CLERK
That's 'cause they're all on their break
CUSTOMER
(looking at watch)
It's 1 p.m. They just came back from lunch for heaven's sake!
CLERK
Yeah but the union rules are afternoon breaks start at 1 p.m.
CUSTOMER
One shudders to think about the actual working hours here. At least listen to my problem ...
CLERK
Can't
CUSTOMER
Why not?
CLERK
I'm a stacker
CUSTOMER
Slacker would be a better description
CLERK
Huh - what? Us stackers have our own areas to cover. We just can't go over to another section and hone in on somebody else's territory
CUSTOMER
Of course. I'm so un-supermarket savvy. Okay. What time are their breaks over, she asked, wondering what the world is coming to these days
(clerk checks watch)
CLERK
They'll be back any minute now. Perhaps if you hang out at the frozen fries section...
CUSTOMER
Silly me! Of course I should, as you so quaintly phrase it, hang out in the frozen section. I just love freezing my...
CLERK
Gotta leave. Break time
(Clerk takes off. Customer goes to refrigerated section)
CUSTOMER
Excuse me - I wonder if you could assist me
CLERK 2
What's the item?
CUSTOMER
It concerns fries
CLERK 2
Fresh or frozen?
CUSTOMER
Does it make a difference and since when do you sell fresh fries?
CLERK 2
Can't really say since I'm an egg man myself...
CUSTOMER
...I know - and you can't discuss fries. So tell me - who can?
CLERK 2
Frozen products clerk over there
CUSTOMER
Where? You mean this person really exists in reality?
(Customer moves over to frozen foods)
CUSTOMER
I have a problem with frozen fries
CLERK 3
Returns are at the front counter
CUSTOMER
I only wish I had frozen fries to return. If you check your gigantic freezer, there are no 'Yummy Fries' to be found
CLERK 3
That's 'cause we have a big special on them
CUSTOMER
They just went on sale yesterday for heaven's sake! How could you sell them out, already?
CLERK 3
People buy them to stock up
CUSTOMER
That shouldn't be allowed, y'know. What about the rest of us who want a package or two? What about OUR needs?
CLERK 3
Get a rain check at the front
CUSTOMER
A rain check won't do it. I need them for a barbeque tonight
CLERK 3
There are other brands you can buy
CUSTOMER
They're more expensive. Perhaps go check in the back? Things always seem to magically appear from the back storage room...
CLERK 3
My mom makes really yummy fries from scratch. You could try that too
CUSTOMER
Well goody for your mom. About those sale fries, now? What are you gonna do about them?
CLERK 3
Rain check is all we can offer
(Clerk 3 listens to message over loud speaker)
Gotta go. They want me in produce
CUSTOMER
Before you disappear and being that we're sort-of friends and I'm a long-time shopper here, how about giving me the fries that aren't on sale, at the sale price. We can keep it between us - nobody has to know. I won't tell if you won't
CLERK 3
You'll have to talk to the person in charge of the frozen food. I'm not allowed to make big decisions like that
CUSTOMER
Why am I not surprised. Now this frozen head person, where would one find him or her?
CLERK 3
You can't
CUSTOMER
And why not, she asked stupidly
CLERK 3
He's on vacation. Won't be back 'til next week
CUSTOMER
Know what? Forget about it! I'll take a bag of the fries that aren't on sale
(CUSTOMER walks to front counter)
COUNTER CLERK
Can I help you?
CUSTOMER
Probably not. I'd like a rain check?
COUNTER CLERK
No can do
CUSTOMER
And this would be because...?
COUNTER CLERK
We ran out of rain checks. We ordered a new stack but they won't be in 'til tomorrow
CUSTOMER
You can't have run out of rainchecks! It's not legal
COUNTER CLERK
There's a big special on frozen fries. People want rain checks so they can stock up
CUSTOMER
This is outrageous! I'm reporting this to...to...head office!
COUNTER CLERK
They already know. They're the one's who supply us with rain checks
CUSTOMER
It's all very simple. I require those sale fries for a barbeque I'm having tonight. What are you gonna do to help?
COUNTER CLERK
You can have that bag of Mrs. Frys Fries at the same price as the sale fries
CUSTOMER
Why don't you specify that with a sign in the empty space that once held the frozen sale fries? You would make my shopping so much easier, not to mention keep my blood pressure down
COUNTER CLERK
Nobody asked me before.
CUSTOMER
I'd like three bags
COUNTER CLERK
Not possible. Only two per customer. We don't wanna run short and then have to offer a rain check and...
CUSTOMER
...I know. You don't have any more rain check pads. Shopping has become much too complicated these days... Tell me - is there really a supervisor of the frozen fries section?
COUNTER CLERK
Neh! We just tell people that
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Thursday, August 02, 2012
Just reading over "Old Soldiers" to evaluate the remaining dialogue to be written and experienced that "I like this!" click in my head. I've already shared some of the play in this blog before but since I'm feeling mellow and pleased with myself, here is another taste of the play.
To set up the scene: Joe and his friends are waiting for the arrival of Al, who is supposed to join them. They are getting increasingly concerned and speculating as to the reason for his not being there yet. Chuck is the bartender. Comments always welcome, by the way.
BARTENDER (CHUCK)
JOE
BARTENDER
JOE
BARTENDER
JOE
MAC
BARTENDER
MAC
BARTENDER
JOE
MAC
MIKE
JOE
MIKE
BARTENDER
JOE
BARTENDER
MIKE
JOE
MIKE
MAC
JOE
MAC
JOE
MAC
JOE
MAC
JOE
MIKE
MAC
JOE
MAC
JOE
MAC
JOE
MAC
JOE
MAC
JOE
AL
MIKE
JOE
AL
JOE
AL
JOE
AL
MAC
MIKE
AL
JOE
AL
MAC
JOE
MAC
JOE
MIKE
AL
JOE
AL
JOE
AL
MIKE
JOE
MAC
AL
MIKE
AL
JOE
AL
To set up the scene: Joe and his friends are waiting for the arrival of Al, who is supposed to join them. They are getting increasingly concerned and speculating as to the reason for his not being there yet. Chuck is the bartender. Comments always welcome, by the way.
JOE
Does anyone know Al’s last name? I’ll go look it up in the phone book.
‘Hey Chuck – where’s your phone directory?’Don’t have one anymore
Whad’ya mean you don’t have a phone directory? What do you do when you when you want someone’s phone number? Guess?
People have cell phones these days
Not everyone uses them there fancy cell phones, y’know! I don’t! They don’t! In any case, you still need t’know a number now and then
Cell phone has all that information stored. Phone…text…it’s all there
Always inventing new contraptions so’s they have an excuse to charge more. How am I supposed to find out this guy’s phone number? He don’t own a cell phone!
I read somewhere that regular type phones will be a museum piece, soon. We’ll all hav’ta go to them eventually, I suppose
Here – gimme the guy’s name and I’ll look it up for you
That little thingie has a phone book, too? How do they fit all those numbers in that little phone?
Yup. So what’s your friend’s name?
Al…Al Springer
He lives on Green Avenue…or was it White…a color anyway
JOE
Some help you are
I think he moved 6 months ago. Don’cha remember him saying he was moving to the veterans hospital?
He’s been sayin’ that for years
Maybe he finally did! Did you find the number?
…Springer, Flo…Springer, Jack… No Al Springer
Course not! He don’t own a cell phone! That’s why he’s not there!
His number would be listed, anyway
How we gonna find out? Maybe – and I don’t wanna think about it… Maybe he…like…died and we missed his funeral. We should’a been in touch with him earlier. At our age, we should stay in touch with each other every day
Listen – if he passed – I would know about it. I’ve been reading the obits every day for 50 years.
Then where is he?
Maybe he died and they just buried him in an un-marked grave
Little bluebird of happiness aren’t we?
You never know
Like you/said, maybe he moved into the vet hospital or – whatever
What happens if…he’s like - homeless, living on the street?
Oh fer… Why would he be living on the street if he has an apartment?
Maybe things changed. Maybe he ran out’ta money or something
And you think I’m negative?
Lemme see that cell thingie? Geesh – it’s so light and small. Aren’t you afraid you’re gonna lose it or it’ll drop outta your pocket?
Wanna try mine?
An old fart like you turning trendy at 81? Little too late for that
Why can’t you be happy for me? You’re never happy about anything for anyone. Complain…complain…
I calls it like I sees it. If you can’t stand to hear the truth…
Imagine carrying this around with you and being able to talk whenever you feel like it, anywhere. You could even talk and pee at the same time
If I wanna speak to somebody that badly, it’ll wait. No privacy these days. Where’s the dial buttons? I don’t see any
Right there
Those are the buttons? They’re okay if you’re a midget or a kid
Hey! Look who walked through the door, alive and kicking. Well alive, anyway.
You could’a called! We thought the worst
I’m here, ain’t I? Won’t be long, anyway, ‘til I join old Percy, the way I feel lately
You had us worried to death you croaked and we missed your funeral.
That would be too logical for him to tell us he’s gonna be late. He’d rather make a grand entrance like always
What grand entrance? Dragging my aching old body around?
You still didn’t tell us why you’re late
I was conversing with my landlady and lost track of time. Something wrong with that?
Would this be the same landlady that struts around in a see-through negligee? How old is she, anyway? Seventy-five? Gravity failed her a long time ago!
Age is just a state of mind. You’re just jealous ‘cause you ain’t got anybody special. Who’d wanna be with someone like you, Joe, who hates the world?
Al – you are one sneaky and horny bastard
(laughing and coughing)
Maybe horny in his head but not where it counts!
You’re all jealous of me! I wasn’t missing in action, if you get my drift
The only action you’ll see is in your dreams
Think so? I’ll have you know…
Spare us the images. Can I have my cell phone back, now?
I was just about to hand it over. You think I was gonna steal it?
You could accidentally slip it into your pocket
Gimme a break! Whad’ya need one for, anyway? Most everyone we know has passed and those who are left are non compos mentis in retirement homes
What’ll it be, Al? Joe’s paying so make it expensive
I’ll pass. Sheila made me one of those fancy coffees. Cappa…cappo…whatever
Sheila is?
Sheila – my landlady. We like to discuss things over a coffee
Strictly talking I’m guessing
Okay. Here’s the truth. We had wild sex and she couldn’t get enough of my body. What’s it your business? I’m here – that’s all that matters. If Joe’s paying – I’ll have that drink
‘Bartender – a drink for my friend, here’
What am I? Chopped liver? Where you living, anyway?
Didn’t you say you were moving to a Vet hospital?
Same place. I always wanted to move but somehow, it never happened. It’s like the end of the line when you go there
But you need help, Al. At least there’s therapists and people who could make your life easier
Meanwhile, as long as there’s life in this here body, I’ll live on my own. Anyway, I have a cleaning lady come in once a week to help
I reserved a table for us over there in the corner
So who’s going to Percy’s funeral?
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Playwright is somewhat depressed but "Chicago" was a spirit-lifter.
At this point in time with less than a week to go, my "Old Soldiers" may get a year older. In spite of an intensive thrust or effort to finish the BBC Radio International Playwriting competition entry, there is still some i.e. about 12 pages, work to be done.
"For heaven's sake, Eleanor...this is not the first time you've delayed entering the competition!" my inner playwright/muse is telling me.
Unfortunately very true. One of my main problems is having to add sound effects. It means, at least in my mind, that there has to be a lot going on and Old Soldiers is dialogue-heavy. When re-reading newly added dialogue, there doesn't seem to be a reason or place for a sound.
In any case, let's say...the play was completed at this point. It would not be edited yet and to enter a competition for the sake of entering is not a good idea. All that work and believe me there was a lot of work and focus on writing the play, would be for nothing.
So once again, I'm farklempt, at least at this point, having not reached my goal of entering a play. Perhaps taking a story and converting it into a radio play wasn't a realistic option. Really - I don't know. Unless there is an extension, I'm out of it for this year. Again.
"CHICAGO" - THE MUSICAL IS A FUN EXPERIENCE
On a more upbeat note and while visiting NYC, we caught the musical, "Chicago", which never fails to please and entertain. Although it was a minimalist production in that there were no costume or set changes, the music and choreography more than made up for this aspect of the show. Another interesting facet was to have the orchestra on stage with the conductor contributing some lines of dialogue. We had booked to see a revival of "Anything Goes", which unexpectedly ended its run. Too bad because we had been looking forward to this show. Given the uncertain economy, seems that Broadway is going with the safe-and-sure audience favorites, although Anything Goes has gone.
At this point in time with less than a week to go, my "Old Soldiers" may get a year older. In spite of an intensive thrust or effort to finish the BBC Radio International Playwriting competition entry, there is still some i.e. about 12 pages, work to be done.
"For heaven's sake, Eleanor...this is not the first time you've delayed entering the competition!" my inner playwright/muse is telling me.
Unfortunately very true. One of my main problems is having to add sound effects. It means, at least in my mind, that there has to be a lot going on and Old Soldiers is dialogue-heavy. When re-reading newly added dialogue, there doesn't seem to be a reason or place for a sound.
In any case, let's say...the play was completed at this point. It would not be edited yet and to enter a competition for the sake of entering is not a good idea. All that work and believe me there was a lot of work and focus on writing the play, would be for nothing.
So once again, I'm farklempt, at least at this point, having not reached my goal of entering a play. Perhaps taking a story and converting it into a radio play wasn't a realistic option. Really - I don't know. Unless there is an extension, I'm out of it for this year. Again.
"CHICAGO" - THE MUSICAL IS A FUN EXPERIENCE
On a more upbeat note and while visiting NYC, we caught the musical, "Chicago", which never fails to please and entertain. Although it was a minimalist production in that there were no costume or set changes, the music and choreography more than made up for this aspect of the show. Another interesting facet was to have the orchestra on stage with the conductor contributing some lines of dialogue. We had booked to see a revival of "Anything Goes", which unexpectedly ended its run. Too bad because we had been looking forward to this show. Given the uncertain economy, seems that Broadway is going with the safe-and-sure audience favorites, although Anything Goes has gone.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
The end is near for Joe McKenna, in more ways than one. My short play, "Old Soldiers" is reaching a finale, I'm thrilled to report.
"So when did this all occur, Eleanor?"
For whatever reason - desperation to make a deadline springs to mind - I've been adding material/dialogue over the past two weeks. Periodically, there have been re-checks and tweaking to ensure that the flow of words "sounds" natural and things make sense. Overall, things are progressing at a good speed.
"Do you think you can make the deadline?"
I'm aiming for this but one never knows. It has to be ready to submit by the end of July and time is marching on. Always that will-it-be-ready anxiety. Also, there is still one existing problem as I view it.
"And that would be...?"
A very serious issue, actually, which is insufficient sound effects. Rather than angst over this issue and waste time going back to see what can be added, I'm focusing on the story and dialogue and then re-examine and add after (she wrote hopefully).
"How many more pages left to write?"
Approximately twenty pages, which will focus on Joe's stand to make a point, his meeting with a young boy and Joe's three friends. In other words, the wind up to the story. Still not sure whether all the above-mentioned aspects will be included, It depends on the amount of space.
Did I mention I'm pleased with myself?
"So when did this all occur, Eleanor?"
For whatever reason - desperation to make a deadline springs to mind - I've been adding material/dialogue over the past two weeks. Periodically, there have been re-checks and tweaking to ensure that the flow of words "sounds" natural and things make sense. Overall, things are progressing at a good speed.
"Do you think you can make the deadline?"
I'm aiming for this but one never knows. It has to be ready to submit by the end of July and time is marching on. Always that will-it-be-ready anxiety. Also, there is still one existing problem as I view it.
"And that would be...?"
A very serious issue, actually, which is insufficient sound effects. Rather than angst over this issue and waste time going back to see what can be added, I'm focusing on the story and dialogue and then re-examine and add after (she wrote hopefully).
"How many more pages left to write?"
Approximately twenty pages, which will focus on Joe's stand to make a point, his meeting with a young boy and Joe's three friends. In other words, the wind up to the story. Still not sure whether all the above-mentioned aspects will be included, It depends on the amount of space.
Did I mention I'm pleased with myself?
Wednesday, July 04, 2012
My "Old Soldiers" are getting antsy and so am I. A few weeks to go to finish up their story and I'm experiencing a slight case - not full...yet - of panic.
I've been adding dialogue regularly and am satisfied with the progression of the story line. My concern, however - it's always the 'howevers' in life that will get you - is the lack of sound effects. Normally, my focus would be on the dialogue but given the nature of the medium, obviously sound plays an important part. The dialogue itself (IMHO) is good, I'm satisfied with the character development and the scenes are logical. But...
"So explain the problem(s) and/or concerns for us, Eleanor."
The first scene takes place in a pub and sound effects include the buzz of people chatting, glasses clinking, a juke-box producing music. That's it, folks! Suggestions here would be appreciated!
Subsequent scenes focus on the "gang of three" i.e. Joe's friends, studying Joe from afar from their vantage point in a small sports car, Joe's conversation while travelling on the bus and talking to friends at a park.
Haven't decided yet which scenario to follow leading to the finale. There are three possibilities and I can't make up my mind which one to pursue. Another concern is that for whatever reason, didn't note that the play has a 55 page limit and I was working on a 70-odd page limitation. The play as I write it, is taking on a life of its own and I'm not sure it can be completed as a radio play in the alloted time.
"So what's the probability of it being adaptable for a radio play?"
It could go either way depending on which route so to speak, it goes. Meanwhile, there are choices to be made and decision to be taken. Will share more thoughts as they occur.
I've been adding dialogue regularly and am satisfied with the progression of the story line. My concern, however - it's always the 'howevers' in life that will get you - is the lack of sound effects. Normally, my focus would be on the dialogue but given the nature of the medium, obviously sound plays an important part. The dialogue itself (IMHO) is good, I'm satisfied with the character development and the scenes are logical. But...
"So explain the problem(s) and/or concerns for us, Eleanor."
The first scene takes place in a pub and sound effects include the buzz of people chatting, glasses clinking, a juke-box producing music. That's it, folks! Suggestions here would be appreciated!
Subsequent scenes focus on the "gang of three" i.e. Joe's friends, studying Joe from afar from their vantage point in a small sports car, Joe's conversation while travelling on the bus and talking to friends at a park.
Haven't decided yet which scenario to follow leading to the finale. There are three possibilities and I can't make up my mind which one to pursue. Another concern is that for whatever reason, didn't note that the play has a 55 page limit and I was working on a 70-odd page limitation. The play as I write it, is taking on a life of its own and I'm not sure it can be completed as a radio play in the alloted time.
"So what's the probability of it being adaptable for a radio play?"
It could go either way depending on which route so to speak, it goes. Meanwhile, there are choices to be made and decision to be taken. Will share more thoughts as they occur.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Still more progress on "OLD SOLDIERS" - be still my beating heart!
Can't believe I'm writing this but still more progress today.
"So what's happening with "the" play, Eleanor?"
Well...I'm now up to scene 4 or as I number it, Scene IV and even sharing this reality is quite unnerving. I'm always afraid that my writing "roll" will come to an abrupt end.
"Did you amend the time line that concerned you the other day?"
Managed to make some necessary changes to dialogue that fixed this problem.
"So where are you now?"
I"m at the point where Joe is re-visiting the park before the ceremonies take place. Following close behind in the true sense of the word, are his pub pals who have decided to tag along.
"What is it about this play that has such a hold on you?"
The original short story was based on an interview I did with a veteran for a newspaper column. Thinking about his experiences as I wrote the article, the story formed in my mind. Joe McKenna could be any old soldier who has lived a long - maybe too long - life. He feels embittered by his current existence and wants to make a symbolic gesture of his feelings.
More updates to follow - hopefully she wrote.
Can't believe I'm writing this but still more progress today.
"So what's happening with "the" play, Eleanor?"
Well...I'm now up to scene 4 or as I number it, Scene IV and even sharing this reality is quite unnerving. I'm always afraid that my writing "roll" will come to an abrupt end.
"Did you amend the time line that concerned you the other day?"
Managed to make some necessary changes to dialogue that fixed this problem.
"So where are you now?"
I"m at the point where Joe is re-visiting the park before the ceremonies take place. Following close behind in the true sense of the word, are his pub pals who have decided to tag along.
"What is it about this play that has such a hold on you?"
The original short story was based on an interview I did with a veteran for a newspaper column. Thinking about his experiences as I wrote the article, the story formed in my mind. Joe McKenna could be any old soldier who has lived a long - maybe too long - life. He feels embittered by his current existence and wants to make a symbolic gesture of his feelings.
More updates to follow - hopefully she wrote.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Still working on the "Old Soldiers" re-write. Today tweaked some more dialogue that didn't feel right or fit into the scenario. Getting stuck or hung up on the time line and trying to make the flow of action logical. Caught an error in that if the remembrance ceremony takes place in the afternoon, the opening in the bar where they're discussing life can't take place in the evening.
Working on a few possible scenarios:
- Joe goes to the park before ceremony to where he and Percy played checkers/chess
- Joe meets up with Percy's grandson and daughter at the park
- The strong bonds of friendship between Joe and his friends.
Thinking over the antagonist/protagonist angle and how or if it will work. Did someone say it was easy to write a radio play?
Will share more as the thoughts come together - hopefully.
Working on a few possible scenarios:
- Joe goes to the park before ceremony to where he and Percy played checkers/chess
- Joe meets up with Percy's grandson and daughter at the park
- The strong bonds of friendship between Joe and his friends.
Thinking over the antagonist/protagonist angle and how or if it will work. Did someone say it was easy to write a radio play?
Will share more as the thoughts come together - hopefully.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
"So tell us - how's the "Old Soldiers" re-write coming along these days, Eleanor?"
Actually, I'm pleased to report that real progress is being made. I've written three new scenes but the challenge is, as to be expected, the sound effects. In writing a play specifically geared for radio production, I try to imagine myself listening to the words and letting the sound effects move me along . Sort of watching TV without the visuals.
"Do you think you'll make the deadline this time?"
Obviously, this is my main thrust and goal. If - and I say 'if' - the play is deemed not ready - at least the end result will be a new play and a new medium for me. Planning to check the BBC guide to radio featured on their site to ensure that it's heading in the right direction.
"You mentioned a children's film script that you wrote..."
It's been a long time since the last read-through and it's time to see if it still has legs. Going back, I finished the script along with a lot of re-writes but never submitted it anywhere. Why? Plain, old, basic, fear. It's that old loss of control thingie. As mentioned, will share my findings - and gut feeling, here.
So right now I'm returning to watch Joe make his way to the ceremonies along with his friends trailing close behind, watching. As am I.
Actually, I'm pleased to report that real progress is being made. I've written three new scenes but the challenge is, as to be expected, the sound effects. In writing a play specifically geared for radio production, I try to imagine myself listening to the words and letting the sound effects move me along . Sort of watching TV without the visuals.
"Do you think you'll make the deadline this time?"
Obviously, this is my main thrust and goal. If - and I say 'if' - the play is deemed not ready - at least the end result will be a new play and a new medium for me. Planning to check the BBC guide to radio featured on their site to ensure that it's heading in the right direction.
"You mentioned a children's film script that you wrote..."
It's been a long time since the last read-through and it's time to see if it still has legs. Going back, I finished the script along with a lot of re-writes but never submitted it anywhere. Why? Plain, old, basic, fear. It's that old loss of control thingie. As mentioned, will share my findings - and gut feeling, here.
So right now I'm returning to watch Joe make his way to the ceremonies along with his friends trailing close behind, watching. As am I.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Progress at last with "Old Soldiers"!
Now that the art show preparations and show itself is over, I made the decision to give painting a rest, at least for the summer. Thing is that focusing on two different creative mediums at the same time leads to the detriment of one. In this case it was my playwriting, ergo, time to put all my energy into playwriting.
Anybody who follows my playwriting blog is familiar with my moaning-and-groaning, ranting and raving about my stagnant state in as far as the "Old Soldiers" play for radio project is concerned. I'm pleased to report and share that I've added three - count 'em - three scenes today. Still finding it difficult to ensure that there are sufficient sound effects to help carry the story line but there is progress in this area also. While writing, I'm still getting the feeling that it lends itself more to film or TV than radio but I'm not going to make any changes, at least while I'm on a roll. Oh sweet heaven it feels so good to be on a roll again!
While storing my art materials in the supply cupboard, I decided to clean out my writing box. A long time ago as a young mom when I first began writing, I wrote a film script using Syd Field's how-to book. Actually, the end result, "Skate!" was, at least in my humble opinion, quite good. There were many re-writes and today came accross a few versions languishing at the bottom of the box and removed them to the top of the pile. It's been a long time since I last read it and it will be interesting to get a new and fresh perspective many years later. Will share my findings of course.
Back to my current project, so far - so good. Somehow it just feels right and I'm taking that as an omen. You takes your omens as you finds them.
Now that the art show preparations and show itself is over, I made the decision to give painting a rest, at least for the summer. Thing is that focusing on two different creative mediums at the same time leads to the detriment of one. In this case it was my playwriting, ergo, time to put all my energy into playwriting.
Anybody who follows my playwriting blog is familiar with my moaning-and-groaning, ranting and raving about my stagnant state in as far as the "Old Soldiers" play for radio project is concerned. I'm pleased to report and share that I've added three - count 'em - three scenes today. Still finding it difficult to ensure that there are sufficient sound effects to help carry the story line but there is progress in this area also. While writing, I'm still getting the feeling that it lends itself more to film or TV than radio but I'm not going to make any changes, at least while I'm on a roll. Oh sweet heaven it feels so good to be on a roll again!
While storing my art materials in the supply cupboard, I decided to clean out my writing box. A long time ago as a young mom when I first began writing, I wrote a film script using Syd Field's how-to book. Actually, the end result, "Skate!" was, at least in my humble opinion, quite good. There were many re-writes and today came accross a few versions languishing at the bottom of the box and removed them to the top of the pile. It's been a long time since I last read it and it will be interesting to get a new and fresh perspective many years later. Will share my findings of course.
Back to my current project, so far - so good. Somehow it just feels right and I'm taking that as an omen. You takes your omens as you finds them.
Friday, June 08, 2012
SCENES FROM LIFE; A SHORT PLAYETTE
AT THE HAIRDRESSER: THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT
SCENE: SMALL HAIR STYLING SALON. HAIRDRESSERS ARE BUSY CAUGHT UP WITH DOING CLIENT'S HAIR. CLIENT E WALKS IN.
CLIENT E
Hi! Know I'm early as usual...
PENNY (HAIRDRESSER)
It's the friggin' phone again...never stops ringing...'THROW IT AGAINST THE WALL, PETER!'
CLIENT E
I see you're busy. I'll just go next door and look around..
PENNY
No stay! I've got another client coming at 3 o'clock...and another one a half hour later... Look at my book - full up! They expect me to do miracles! If I can't fit them in, I can't fit them in! What do they want from me?
PETER (MALE HAIRDRESSER)
'Pen - phone for you!'
PENNY
'Screw the phone!' Sit down E - I'll dye your hair in between customers. I have a cut and we'll work between the cut
(client sits down in chair. PENNY places plastic poncho around client's shoulders)
CLIENT E
You seem stressed. Your tooth again?
PENNY
Had root canal work. That was painless compared to what I go through here sometimes!
PETER
'Penny - for you again!'
PENNY
Tell them...tell them I'm dead! No don't say that. It's bad luck and I'll end up not going on vacation. Just say anything! I don't care! (aside to Client E) Sorry dear - I'm like, sooo exhausted
CLIENT E
Anybody in particular got you uptight?
PENNY
All of them! At least a lot of them They drive me nuts! Really!
CLIENT E
Hmmmmm...I can imagine. Must get hairy sometimes. Hey look! I made a hairdresser joke...
PENNY
...I'm gonna become a dog groomer. That's what I'm gonna do... No stress in that job. Yeah...maybe I should become a dog groomer...
MARIA (ANOTHER HAIRDRESER)
She's right! They do drive us crazy sometimes
PETER
'Whad'ya want me to say?'
PENNY
Give me the phone already...Hello? Uh-huh...let me check my appointment book... No - I can't take you at 2 o'clock on Wednesday. I'm full up... There is no way...I'm looking at this week's appointment book... What? Next week? Ohhhhhh...you didn't say that...then there's lots of room. Why don't you have a morning appointment...
(PENNY rolls her eyes)
PENNY
Dear - sweetie - I'm going to check and call you back...I'm doing a customer's hair...I have your number - oh do I have your number! Bye - call you back soon. Don't worry - I won't forget about you
BELLA (another client)
Rinse me, please!
PENNY
Bella hon - I just put the dye on fifteen minutes ago. It's not time yet
BELLA
Seems like you put it on an hour ago...
PENNY
(quietly and patiently)
No sweetie - just fifteen long minutes ago! Now why don't go back and read a nice magazine!
BELLA
I read them all and anyway, they're five years old. Are you sure you just put on the dye?
PENNY
(quietly, staring down at the floor)
Trust me...
(BELLA walks back to the seating area)
PENNY
...said the spider to the fly... 'Maria! What's the number of the vet?'
CLIENT E
You wouldn't...would you?
PENNY
Who knows! Thank goodness I'm going on a vacation in three weeks but it will seem like forever! Same color like always?
CLIENT E
Same as usual. Where you going?
PENNY
Cuba. Maybe they need a good groomer for dogs and cats there
CLIENT E
Cats don't need grooming. They do that themsleves
PENNY
So - maybe I'll start a new trend or something
PETER
(laughing)
'Penny - phone for you! It's your favorite client!'
PENNY
No! Not Mrs. H! Tell her...I left or something
PETER
'I told her you're busy but she won't take no for an aswer!"
PENNY
Maria...friend of mine. How about you take Mrs. H. I'll do you a big favor one day
MARIA
Penny - I love you dearly but there's no way
PENNY
Is there no relief for me from these people who make unreasonable demands? 'Peter - hand me the phone! Where are my stop smoking patches...'
(TO BE CONTINUED. WILL PENNY HOLD ON UNTIL HER CUBAN HOLIDAY? WILL SHE FIND ROOM IN HER APPOINTMENT BOOK? WE WILL SEE...)
AT THE HAIRDRESSER: THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT
SCENE: SMALL HAIR STYLING SALON. HAIRDRESSERS ARE BUSY CAUGHT UP WITH DOING CLIENT'S HAIR. CLIENT E WALKS IN.
CLIENT E
Hi! Know I'm early as usual...
PENNY (HAIRDRESSER)
It's the friggin' phone again...never stops ringing...'THROW IT AGAINST THE WALL, PETER!'
CLIENT E
I see you're busy. I'll just go next door and look around..
PENNY
No stay! I've got another client coming at 3 o'clock...and another one a half hour later... Look at my book - full up! They expect me to do miracles! If I can't fit them in, I can't fit them in! What do they want from me?
PETER (MALE HAIRDRESSER)
'Pen - phone for you!'
PENNY
'Screw the phone!' Sit down E - I'll dye your hair in between customers. I have a cut and we'll work between the cut
(client sits down in chair. PENNY places plastic poncho around client's shoulders)
CLIENT E
You seem stressed. Your tooth again?
PENNY
Had root canal work. That was painless compared to what I go through here sometimes!
PETER
'Penny - for you again!'
PENNY
Tell them...tell them I'm dead! No don't say that. It's bad luck and I'll end up not going on vacation. Just say anything! I don't care! (aside to Client E) Sorry dear - I'm like, sooo exhausted
CLIENT E
Anybody in particular got you uptight?
PENNY
All of them! At least a lot of them They drive me nuts! Really!
CLIENT E
Hmmmmm...I can imagine. Must get hairy sometimes. Hey look! I made a hairdresser joke...
PENNY
...I'm gonna become a dog groomer. That's what I'm gonna do... No stress in that job. Yeah...maybe I should become a dog groomer...
MARIA (ANOTHER HAIRDRESER)
She's right! They do drive us crazy sometimes
PETER
'Whad'ya want me to say?'
PENNY
Give me the phone already...Hello? Uh-huh...let me check my appointment book... No - I can't take you at 2 o'clock on Wednesday. I'm full up... There is no way...I'm looking at this week's appointment book... What? Next week? Ohhhhhh...you didn't say that...then there's lots of room. Why don't you have a morning appointment...
(PENNY rolls her eyes)
PENNY
Dear - sweetie - I'm going to check and call you back...I'm doing a customer's hair...I have your number - oh do I have your number! Bye - call you back soon. Don't worry - I won't forget about you
BELLA (another client)
Rinse me, please!
PENNY
Bella hon - I just put the dye on fifteen minutes ago. It's not time yet
BELLA
Seems like you put it on an hour ago...
PENNY
(quietly and patiently)
No sweetie - just fifteen long minutes ago! Now why don't go back and read a nice magazine!
BELLA
I read them all and anyway, they're five years old. Are you sure you just put on the dye?
PENNY
(quietly, staring down at the floor)
Trust me...
(BELLA walks back to the seating area)
PENNY
...said the spider to the fly... 'Maria! What's the number of the vet?'
CLIENT E
You wouldn't...would you?
PENNY
Who knows! Thank goodness I'm going on a vacation in three weeks but it will seem like forever! Same color like always?
CLIENT E
Same as usual. Where you going?
PENNY
Cuba. Maybe they need a good groomer for dogs and cats there
CLIENT E
Cats don't need grooming. They do that themsleves
PENNY
So - maybe I'll start a new trend or something
PETER
(laughing)
'Penny - phone for you! It's your favorite client!'
PENNY
No! Not Mrs. H! Tell her...I left or something
PETER
'I told her you're busy but she won't take no for an aswer!"
PENNY
Maria...friend of mine. How about you take Mrs. H. I'll do you a big favor one day
MARIA
Penny - I love you dearly but there's no way
PENNY
Is there no relief for me from these people who make unreasonable demands? 'Peter - hand me the phone! Where are my stop smoking patches...'
(TO BE CONTINUED. WILL PENNY HOLD ON UNTIL HER CUBAN HOLIDAY? WILL SHE FIND ROOM IN HER APPOINTMENT BOOK? WE WILL SEE...)
Friday, May 18, 2012
GOING TO THE ENDING TO GET TO THE BEGINNING
Rather than start another play and half-way through come to the realization that: a) there is no ending or the ending doesn't match the rest or b) it's full of crap, I'm still in the thinking stage. Perhaps John Irving wouldn't approve but then again, I kind'a think he would.
Can't speak for others but writing a play, short or otherwise, comes easy when the idea is good and I can relate to the concept personally.
Read somewhere - can't trace down the source - that Woody Allen, director, writer etc. etc. starts his script with one word. This to me is incredible! He actually builds his script from one word. Mind you I've got ideas that worked for my mini-plays while sitting in a hair stylist chair and in my dentist's office. No matter where I am, I study and take notes. Sometimes it works and sometimes it don't but when it does, as I've written many times before, it's magic.
The more I'm writing this, the more ideas are flowing through/into my brain so I better take advantage of my muse. It could be a quick visit.
Rather than start another play and half-way through come to the realization that: a) there is no ending or the ending doesn't match the rest or b) it's full of crap, I'm still in the thinking stage. Perhaps John Irving wouldn't approve but then again, I kind'a think he would.
Can't speak for others but writing a play, short or otherwise, comes easy when the idea is good and I can relate to the concept personally.
Read somewhere - can't trace down the source - that Woody Allen, director, writer etc. etc. starts his script with one word. This to me is incredible! He actually builds his script from one word. Mind you I've got ideas that worked for my mini-plays while sitting in a hair stylist chair and in my dentist's office. No matter where I am, I study and take notes. Sometimes it works and sometimes it don't but when it does, as I've written many times before, it's magic.
The more I'm writing this, the more ideas are flowing through/into my brain so I better take advantage of my muse. It could be a quick visit.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Perhaps a solution to my dilemma is at hand and it's thanks to John Irving.
As a subscriber to playwriting discussion forums, it's interesting and informative to read other playwright's opinions on the craft. Subjects that focus on how they overcome barriers when working out plots and endings is of particular interest to me, at least at this point.
I've shared...make that bemoaned my 'ending' problem ad nauseum here in this blog, attempting to convert a what was written as a short play into an hour radio play in order to enter the BBC International Playwriting Competition. The beginning moves along nicely until reaching the middle stage, at which point one arrives at the realization that there is no ending. This is the point where I question whether to continue pursuing playwriting especially since none of my plays have been produced.
Reading through one of the forums, there was one of those "eureka!!" moments upon reading the opinion (and advice) of novelist and Academy Award winning screenwriter, John Irving, who shared his philosophy on starting a new writing project:
"I begin with endings, with last sentences -- usually more than one sentence, often a last paragraph (or two). I compose an ending and write toward it, as if the ending were a piece of music I could hear -- no matter how many years ahead of me it is waiting."
This got me excited thinking that perhaps this could be a solution to my"never-ending" dilemma or at least something worth trying. There are two possible plays that I'm toying with submitting to the competition. As aside my two-act plays wrote themselves as did my one and only film script. In my wedding play, it ended with a wedding in an unusual setting but I knew exactly the direction the play should go and how it should get there. Does this make sense? My "Gin..." play on the other hand, had a few changes along the way, while my children"s script wrote itself since it was based on a personal childhood experience.
Perhaps I should put aside what has been written and focus on producing sentences that could lead to moving in a new direction or even a new play. Look - if it's good enough for John Irving, it's certainly good enough for me.
As a subscriber to playwriting discussion forums, it's interesting and informative to read other playwright's opinions on the craft. Subjects that focus on how they overcome barriers when working out plots and endings is of particular interest to me, at least at this point.
I've shared...make that bemoaned my 'ending' problem ad nauseum here in this blog, attempting to convert a what was written as a short play into an hour radio play in order to enter the BBC International Playwriting Competition. The beginning moves along nicely until reaching the middle stage, at which point one arrives at the realization that there is no ending. This is the point where I question whether to continue pursuing playwriting especially since none of my plays have been produced.
Reading through one of the forums, there was one of those "eureka!!" moments upon reading the opinion (and advice) of novelist and Academy Award winning screenwriter, John Irving, who shared his philosophy on starting a new writing project:
"I begin with endings, with last sentences -- usually more than one sentence, often a last paragraph (or two). I compose an ending and write toward it, as if the ending were a piece of music I could hear -- no matter how many years ahead of me it is waiting."
This got me excited thinking that perhaps this could be a solution to my"never-ending" dilemma or at least something worth trying. There are two possible plays that I'm toying with submitting to the competition. As aside my two-act plays wrote themselves as did my one and only film script. In my wedding play, it ended with a wedding in an unusual setting but I knew exactly the direction the play should go and how it should get there. Does this make sense? My "Gin..." play on the other hand, had a few changes along the way, while my children"s script wrote itself since it was based on a personal childhood experience.
Perhaps I should put aside what has been written and focus on producing sentences that could lead to moving in a new direction or even a new play. Look - if it's good enough for John Irving, it's certainly good enough for me.
Tuesday, May 08, 2012
THREE DREADED R'S: REVISION, RE-THINKING, RE-WRITING OF "NEIGHBORS"
*UPDATE NUMBER 3
Do I sound frustrated? Trying not to be but am reaching that point (insert lots of sighs here).
Last night and this morning, did some more editing on "Neighbors." Can't call it a play - yet - since it's still in the revision stage. That in itself is a problem but there's also this on-going annoyance that gnaws at me like a dog with a bone.
Having reached and read and did some revisions until sixty pages, there is still no resolution. This makes me think as to whether there is a problem that can be resolved or whether there is a problem, period. It's obvious at this point that I'm going to have to do some major editing and change of direction. One of the characters may have to be eliminated since his contribution to the story line really isn't necessary. In other words - the story could survive without the character.
I've got a dramatic ending in mind but this can't be accomplished unless the story is shortened, somewhat, so it can play out naturally. The female character would play a major role along with one of the lead characters.
I'm also toying with the idea - strictly at the idea stage - of having something dramatic occur in the bar i.e. a hold-up...something. That means there are two possible endings. Perhaps one of the characters would save the life of the other, something totally out of character... Really - I don't know at this point.
Lots of choices and directions to go and time is marching on. But am I?
*UPDATE NUMBER 3
Do I sound frustrated? Trying not to be but am reaching that point (insert lots of sighs here).
Last night and this morning, did some more editing on "Neighbors." Can't call it a play - yet - since it's still in the revision stage. That in itself is a problem but there's also this on-going annoyance that gnaws at me like a dog with a bone.
Having reached and read and did some revisions until sixty pages, there is still no resolution. This makes me think as to whether there is a problem that can be resolved or whether there is a problem, period. It's obvious at this point that I'm going to have to do some major editing and change of direction. One of the characters may have to be eliminated since his contribution to the story line really isn't necessary. In other words - the story could survive without the character.
I've got a dramatic ending in mind but this can't be accomplished unless the story is shortened, somewhat, so it can play out naturally. The female character would play a major role along with one of the lead characters.
I'm also toying with the idea - strictly at the idea stage - of having something dramatic occur in the bar i.e. a hold-up...something. That means there are two possible endings. Perhaps one of the characters would save the life of the other, something totally out of character... Really - I don't know at this point.
Lots of choices and directions to go and time is marching on. But am I?
Monday, May 07, 2012
"Give us another update on your play re-write, Eleanor"
So I check into Facebook as is my habit, and I notice that the BBC has added a blurb that entries are already rolling in for the BBC International Playwriting Competition. They're very excited but I, on the other hand, am verklempt. Rough translation: pffffft. Then again and thinking further, perhaps those early-bird playwrights already had a 60 min. play and all they had to do was submit it. Or, perhaps, their muse paid them a visit (lucky them!). Meanwhile, I'm still working on an ending. You would think that an ending should be easy, You know the story-line, you know the characters and logically, one should know the ending. When does logic enter in the pictures, anyway? In reading playwriting blogs and pieces by seasoned playwrights, they are of the opinion that one should know the ending before embarking on writing the play. What worries me is that all my completed plays were written with ease from beginning to end. In "Neighbors", I'm already experincing problems.
I've reached the 28 page stage, which would be just over a 20-minute short play. It was written initially as a 20 minute short play and then re-written as a full play in the making, and now adapted to a sixty minute play. Maybe it was a good idea at the time but...
I'm already getting jumpy about having it ready for the deadline - but this is an old story.
"So what is the problem, girl?".
One character, Rob Portman, has a love interest, which is interesting but I'm not sure if I'm going off on a tangent moving in this direction. She is the only female character in the play and I'm not sure whether she's really ncessary.
Questions I'm asking myself:
- why have I included her
- what does she add to the story, if anything
She would reveal a tender side of Rob and elicit sympathy to his character, but then does he need sympathy?
Lots of questions and a lot of searching for answers, for sure.
So I check into Facebook as is my habit, and I notice that the BBC has added a blurb that entries are already rolling in for the BBC International Playwriting Competition. They're very excited but I, on the other hand, am verklempt. Rough translation: pffffft. Then again and thinking further, perhaps those early-bird playwrights already had a 60 min. play and all they had to do was submit it. Or, perhaps, their muse paid them a visit (lucky them!). Meanwhile, I'm still working on an ending. You would think that an ending should be easy, You know the story-line, you know the characters and logically, one should know the ending. When does logic enter in the pictures, anyway? In reading playwriting blogs and pieces by seasoned playwrights, they are of the opinion that one should know the ending before embarking on writing the play. What worries me is that all my completed plays were written with ease from beginning to end. In "Neighbors", I'm already experincing problems.
I've reached the 28 page stage, which would be just over a 20-minute short play. It was written initially as a 20 minute short play and then re-written as a full play in the making, and now adapted to a sixty minute play. Maybe it was a good idea at the time but...
I'm already getting jumpy about having it ready for the deadline - but this is an old story.
"So what is the problem, girl?".
One character, Rob Portman, has a love interest, which is interesting but I'm not sure if I'm going off on a tangent moving in this direction. She is the only female character in the play and I'm not sure whether she's really ncessary.
Questions I'm asking myself:
- why have I included her
- what does she add to the story, if anything
She would reveal a tender side of Rob and elicit sympathy to his character, but then does he need sympathy?
Lots of questions and a lot of searching for answers, for sure.
Tuesday, May 01, 2012
"So Eleanor - tells us how it's going with your BBC project."
Well - you know there's hesitancy when starting a sentence using the word 'well' - I'm making progress but have encountered a problem.
"Already? What's the dilemma?"
I've been editing the play from the beginning and making changes as I go along. It occurred to me after writing about a quarter of the way through that I should read the play through to the end. This was a revelation in that I realized I hadn't provided an ending to the play since, as I recall, I had inteded to turn it into a full 2-hour play. Best laid plans and all that. In any case, a definite roadblock.
The play itself has potential but has to be flushed out. This is the story of my playwriting life. The dialogue requires some cutting and blending and of course most importantly, an ending. So now I'm trying to figure out how and where to cut and stream-line. In other words - a re-think.
Frequently, when I'm stuck, I mentally go through a process where we i.e. characters and myself, have a conversation in the form of a question and answer period. This helps. We're already communicating to move the process along.
"So do you think you'll be ready to submit by the May deadline?"
Hopefully, I'm making a concerted effort since this was one of my first plays I ever wrote and it has definite potential. Famous last words...
Well - you know there's hesitancy when starting a sentence using the word 'well' - I'm making progress but have encountered a problem.
"Already? What's the dilemma?"
I've been editing the play from the beginning and making changes as I go along. It occurred to me after writing about a quarter of the way through that I should read the play through to the end. This was a revelation in that I realized I hadn't provided an ending to the play since, as I recall, I had inteded to turn it into a full 2-hour play. Best laid plans and all that. In any case, a definite roadblock.
The play itself has potential but has to be flushed out. This is the story of my playwriting life. The dialogue requires some cutting and blending and of course most importantly, an ending. So now I'm trying to figure out how and where to cut and stream-line. In other words - a re-think.
Frequently, when I'm stuck, I mentally go through a process where we i.e. characters and myself, have a conversation in the form of a question and answer period. This helps. We're already communicating to move the process along.
"So do you think you'll be ready to submit by the May deadline?"
Hopefully, I'm making a concerted effort since this was one of my first plays I ever wrote and it has definite potential. Famous last words...
Thursday, April 26, 2012
SCENES FROM LIFE: A SHORT PLAYETTE
THE MISSING SOCK DILEMMA
by Eleanor Tylbor
SCENE: AT THE POLICE STATION: a woman walks in a police station, a large plastic bag in her hand. Person walks to the front desk.
POLICE OFFICER
Can I help you?
WOMAN
I want to report a robbery
POLICE OFFICER
Do you want to file a report?
WOMAN
You bet!
POLICE OFFICER
What type of a robbery? A break-in your house?
WOMAN
No
POLICE OFFICER
A purse snatching?
WOMAN
None of those
(she dumps bag of socks on to the counter/front desk)
POLICE OFFICER
Um...I'm sorry?
WOMAN
So am I. Believe me
POLICE OFFICER
What's going on?
WOMAN
I'll tell you what's going on. Somebody in this city is stealing socks!
POLICE OFFICER
Come again? Did you say, stealing...socks?
WOMAN
Somebody, I don't know who, is stealing socks from my clothes dryer. This pile of socks here are all "one-sies." They are all alone in the world without a mate
POLICE OFFICER
I see... Perhaps - and I'm just saying - you somehow missplaced them?
WOMAN
You sound just like my husband. He tells me the same thing but I know somebody is stealing them! Thing is - there are no windows in my laundry room
POLICE OFFICER
Well then - perhaps - and I'm just guessing - they dropped out when you were sorting them
WOMAN
I'm always very careful to empty the dryer and check and double-check that there's nothing left in there. So? Are you going to make a report?
POLICE OFFICER
Um - it's very unusual to make a report on missing socks
WOMAN
(picking up socks and bringing them close to police officer's face)
Look at these - brand new socks missing a mate. This is an accumulation of one-sies over the last five year period
POLICE OFFICER
(laughing)
You sound just like my wife. She complains about the same thing. Believes that the socks are sucked into the dryer exhaust and then through pipes
WOMAN
Aha! Your house too, huh? It's my belief that there's a gang of sock thieves working dryer pipes and re-selling them to people who are trying to match their missing socks.
POLICE OFFICER
I don't think so.
WOMAN
So where do YOU think they go? Huh?
POLICE OFFICER
I really can't say...often wondered that myself...(laughing) Maybe it's alien abductions
WOMAN
Officer - I am not crazy. I am a woman who is sick-and-tired of having to buy new socks, only to see them stolen within a few weeks.
POLICE OFFICER
To be honest m'am - we don't have officers with expertise in sock bandits and we're short on staff...
WOMAN
So you're not going to do anything about it?
POLICE OFFICER
Afraid not. Look - I understand your situation and I don't have any answers
(another person approaches the front desk, bag in hand)
OFFICER
Can I help you?
MAN
I'm hoping so.
(empties bag of socks on desk)
I'd like to report missing socks...
WOMAN
(jumping in)
...you too? I'm here for the same thing.
OFFICER
Why don't you two go...somewhere and compare your sock collection? Between the two of you, you just may make some pairs!
WOMAN
Well...it's worth a shot!
(gathering up socks and putting them in bag and walking out of the door)
So...how long have your socks gone missing?
MAN
Ever since the alien abduction...
THE MISSING SOCK DILEMMA
by Eleanor Tylbor
SCENE: AT THE POLICE STATION: a woman walks in a police station, a large plastic bag in her hand. Person walks to the front desk.
POLICE OFFICER
Can I help you?
WOMAN
I want to report a robbery
POLICE OFFICER
Do you want to file a report?
WOMAN
You bet!
POLICE OFFICER
What type of a robbery? A break-in your house?
WOMAN
No
POLICE OFFICER
A purse snatching?
WOMAN
None of those
(she dumps bag of socks on to the counter/front desk)
POLICE OFFICER
Um...I'm sorry?
WOMAN
So am I. Believe me
POLICE OFFICER
What's going on?
WOMAN
I'll tell you what's going on. Somebody in this city is stealing socks!
POLICE OFFICER
Come again? Did you say, stealing...socks?
WOMAN
Somebody, I don't know who, is stealing socks from my clothes dryer. This pile of socks here are all "one-sies." They are all alone in the world without a mate
POLICE OFFICER
I see... Perhaps - and I'm just saying - you somehow missplaced them?
WOMAN
You sound just like my husband. He tells me the same thing but I know somebody is stealing them! Thing is - there are no windows in my laundry room
POLICE OFFICER
Well then - perhaps - and I'm just guessing - they dropped out when you were sorting them
WOMAN
I'm always very careful to empty the dryer and check and double-check that there's nothing left in there. So? Are you going to make a report?
POLICE OFFICER
Um - it's very unusual to make a report on missing socks
WOMAN
(picking up socks and bringing them close to police officer's face)
Look at these - brand new socks missing a mate. This is an accumulation of one-sies over the last five year period
POLICE OFFICER
(laughing)
You sound just like my wife. She complains about the same thing. Believes that the socks are sucked into the dryer exhaust and then through pipes
WOMAN
Aha! Your house too, huh? It's my belief that there's a gang of sock thieves working dryer pipes and re-selling them to people who are trying to match their missing socks.
POLICE OFFICER
I don't think so.
WOMAN
So where do YOU think they go? Huh?
POLICE OFFICER
I really can't say...often wondered that myself...(laughing) Maybe it's alien abductions
WOMAN
Officer - I am not crazy. I am a woman who is sick-and-tired of having to buy new socks, only to see them stolen within a few weeks.
POLICE OFFICER
To be honest m'am - we don't have officers with expertise in sock bandits and we're short on staff...
WOMAN
So you're not going to do anything about it?
POLICE OFFICER
Afraid not. Look - I understand your situation and I don't have any answers
(another person approaches the front desk, bag in hand)
OFFICER
Can I help you?
MAN
I'm hoping so.
(empties bag of socks on desk)
I'd like to report missing socks...
WOMAN
(jumping in)
...you too? I'm here for the same thing.
OFFICER
Why don't you two go...somewhere and compare your sock collection? Between the two of you, you just may make some pairs!
WOMAN
Well...it's worth a shot!
(gathering up socks and putting them in bag and walking out of the door)
So...how long have your socks gone missing?
MAN
Ever since the alien abduction...
Friday, April 20, 2012
BBC RADIO COMPETITION IS BECKONING ME - AGAIN
"Two new pieces in your playwriting blog in one day! Must be something really important, Eleanor!"
Yes it is...could be...maybe...one hopes
Anybody who drops by this blog is familiar with my continuous effort and accompanying angst to write a radio play for the BBC International Playwriting Competition. This year my idea and hope was to turn my "Old Soldiers" story into a radio play and enter it in the competition. However - I abhor that word - my intent wasn't realized in producing dialogue and once again what I thought was the deadline for entries, passed. My problem was coming up with sound effects that would carry the story line. Perhaps, in retrospect, I just wasn't committed enough to make it work. It's always the could-have, would-have and should-have that get you in the end.
In any case, just did a routine check on my Facebook page and something exciting jumped up at me:
"Exciting news! The 2012 International Playwriting Competition will open on May 1st. Plays can be on any topic but must be 53 minutes long. Details of how to enter and more information will soon be available at www.bbcworldservice.com/radioplay It’s time to get writing!"
This is really thrilling news because this means that there is yet another opportunity to submit. Perhaps a good idea would be to write something new from scratch. As the blurb advises - "it's time to get writing!"
Yup it is. As in the past, will be providing progerss reports - hopefully.
"So do you think you"ll have the carry-through to enter this time, Eleanor?" my muse just asked me.
Hope springs eternal. Right?
"Two new pieces in your playwriting blog in one day! Must be something really important, Eleanor!"
Yes it is...could be...maybe...one hopes
Anybody who drops by this blog is familiar with my continuous effort and accompanying angst to write a radio play for the BBC International Playwriting Competition. This year my idea and hope was to turn my "Old Soldiers" story into a radio play and enter it in the competition. However - I abhor that word - my intent wasn't realized in producing dialogue and once again what I thought was the deadline for entries, passed. My problem was coming up with sound effects that would carry the story line. Perhaps, in retrospect, I just wasn't committed enough to make it work. It's always the could-have, would-have and should-have that get you in the end.
In any case, just did a routine check on my Facebook page and something exciting jumped up at me:
"Exciting news! The 2012 International Playwriting Competition will open on May 1st. Plays can be on any topic but must be 53 minutes long. Details of how to enter and more information will soon be available at www.bbcworldservice.com/
This is really thrilling news because this means that there is yet another opportunity to submit. Perhaps a good idea would be to write something new from scratch. As the blurb advises - "it's time to get writing!"
Yup it is. As in the past, will be providing progerss reports - hopefully.
"So do you think you"ll have the carry-through to enter this time, Eleanor?" my muse just asked me.
Hope springs eternal. Right?
SCENES FROM LIFE: A SHORT PLAYETTE
AT THE GARDEN CENTRE
SCENE: CUSTOMER STANDS AT THE RETURN COUNTER IN GARDEN CENTRE, HOLDING A PAPER BAG OPEN AT THE TOP
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
"Number 14...who's number 14?"
CUSTOMER
Here! That would be me! See? Here's my ticket. Number 14
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Now that we've agreed on that, what can I do for you?
CUSTOMER
I'd like to return these plants, please
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Flowering or green?
(customer opens bag, removes contents and places them on counter earth spilling everywhere)
CUSTOMER
These plants. They're annuals as you can tell...then again, maybe you don't garden...not everyone likes to play in dirt. That's a little garden humor, there!
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Come again? You want to return...dead garden plants. Now I've heard it all
CUSTOMER
You have a money-back-no-questions-asked policy?
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Yes but...
CUSTOMER
...well - these former, vibrant living things are no longer in this world. Gone to see their maker. Never to feel the heat of the sun, again. I have the bill here...
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Lady - those plants are dead!
CUSTOMER
Right - and that's why I'm returning them! Oh the angst and guilt of garden passings!
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
That doesn't include plants!
CUSTOMER
Show me where it says that. Money back is money back. Besides, how do I know that you don't sell defective or sick plants?
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Lady - we have a reputation to uphold.
CUSTOMER
Thinking back, they died almost immediately. That should tell you something!
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
When did you plant these? They're a collection of black mush. Can't even tell what they were
CUSTOMER
They were dahlias. Planted them the week that you started selling them. Sometime in March...I think... Yup - March
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
March? You planted these in...March? The ground was still frozen! How did you even get a spade in the ground
CUSTOMER
I managed. We garden lovers can make the impossible happen. So are you going to give me back my money?
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Damn - there's ants crawling all over the counter...
(garden center employee smashes ants with her hand and fingers)
CUSTOMER
Even more reason to return me my money as soon as possible. Oh look - there goes a earwig. Boy those bugs sure can move fast...right accross the counter there...
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Let's settle this before the place is invaded by ants. How about I replace those...whatever -
CUSTOMER
- dahlias...once beautiful...dahlias...
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
...whatever with brand new live plants? Would that be acceptable?
CUSTOMER
That would be perfectly okay with me. You could be a little more sympathetic to my predicament. By the way, what should I do with these dearly departed?
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
'I will not open my mouth to a customer...I will be polite to a customer...' Um - just leave them here. I'll take care of them
CUSTOMER
Is it okay if I say good-bye? I'm very attached
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Whatever... 'They don't pay me enough...'
CUSTOMER
(touching plants)
'Plants - friends - I'm very sorry that my TLC didn't save you from extinction. I tried - I really tried! Go now - go meet your friends in the garden in the sky!'
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Good. Said your goodbyes?
CUSTOMER
Yes. It's always so hard to deal with plant deaths
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
(grabbing dead plants and tossing them in trash can)
Not really. "Number 20 - who's got number 20?"
AT THE GARDEN CENTRE
SCENE: CUSTOMER STANDS AT THE RETURN COUNTER IN GARDEN CENTRE, HOLDING A PAPER BAG OPEN AT THE TOP
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
"Number 14...who's number 14?"
CUSTOMER
Here! That would be me! See? Here's my ticket. Number 14
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Now that we've agreed on that, what can I do for you?
CUSTOMER
I'd like to return these plants, please
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Flowering or green?
(customer opens bag, removes contents and places them on counter earth spilling everywhere)
CUSTOMER
These plants. They're annuals as you can tell...then again, maybe you don't garden...not everyone likes to play in dirt. That's a little garden humor, there!
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Come again? You want to return...dead garden plants. Now I've heard it all
CUSTOMER
You have a money-back-no-questions-asked policy?
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Yes but...
CUSTOMER
...well - these former, vibrant living things are no longer in this world. Gone to see their maker. Never to feel the heat of the sun, again. I have the bill here...
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Lady - those plants are dead!
CUSTOMER
Right - and that's why I'm returning them! Oh the angst and guilt of garden passings!
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
That doesn't include plants!
CUSTOMER
Show me where it says that. Money back is money back. Besides, how do I know that you don't sell defective or sick plants?
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Lady - we have a reputation to uphold.
CUSTOMER
Thinking back, they died almost immediately. That should tell you something!
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
When did you plant these? They're a collection of black mush. Can't even tell what they were
CUSTOMER
They were dahlias. Planted them the week that you started selling them. Sometime in March...I think... Yup - March
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
March? You planted these in...March? The ground was still frozen! How did you even get a spade in the ground
CUSTOMER
I managed. We garden lovers can make the impossible happen. So are you going to give me back my money?
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Damn - there's ants crawling all over the counter...
(garden center employee smashes ants with her hand and fingers)
CUSTOMER
Even more reason to return me my money as soon as possible. Oh look - there goes a earwig. Boy those bugs sure can move fast...right accross the counter there...
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Let's settle this before the place is invaded by ants. How about I replace those...whatever -
CUSTOMER
- dahlias...once beautiful...dahlias...
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
...whatever with brand new live plants? Would that be acceptable?
CUSTOMER
That would be perfectly okay with me. You could be a little more sympathetic to my predicament. By the way, what should I do with these dearly departed?
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
'I will not open my mouth to a customer...I will be polite to a customer...' Um - just leave them here. I'll take care of them
CUSTOMER
Is it okay if I say good-bye? I'm very attached
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Whatever... 'They don't pay me enough...'
CUSTOMER
(touching plants)
'Plants - friends - I'm very sorry that my TLC didn't save you from extinction. I tried - I really tried! Go now - go meet your friends in the garden in the sky!'
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Good. Said your goodbyes?
CUSTOMER
Yes. It's always so hard to deal with plant deaths
GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
(grabbing dead plants and tossing them in trash can)
Not really. "Number 20 - who's got number 20?"
Saturday, March 03, 2012
SCENES FROM LIFE: A SHORT PLAYETTE
IN THE POOL
SCENE: A SWIMMING POOL FILLED HALF WAY WITH FEMALES
INSTRUCTOR
We have a lot of people in the pool so spread out and give each other room
AQUA FITNESS PARTICIPANT (AFI)
Sorry - didn't mean to bump into you
AQUA FITNESS PARTICIPANT II (AFII)
No problem. Not much room to move around. Maybe some of us should go in the deeper water
AFI
Not me! I swim like a rock. Don't wanna be a headline in tomorrow's paper. "Woman drowns in deep end of pool during aqua fitness."
AFII
We're like sardines here!
AFI
Don't let me stop you from moving out further
AFII
Um...I'll just stay here
INSTRUCTOR
(jumping in water
Okay ladies - it's time to rock
AF1
(looking around)
Rock, huh... Okay...let's rock. Should we snap our fingers, too?
AFII
You don't have to do anything with your fingers. It's all in the leg movement
AFI
Actually that was a joke - obviously a weak one. You know...rock'n'roll music... Snap your fingers?
INSTRUCTOR
'Okay - left jog...center jog...right jog. Now cross-country moving forward...now backward...'
AFI
Don't know about you but I'm having trouble moving backwards while cross-country-ing facing the right...
AFII
Do what you can
AFI
I can't see her legs. Can you see her legs?
AFII
You don't have to see her what she's doing. Just follow her instructions
AFI
Maybe it's me but I have to see in addition to hear. Why doesn't she do exercise outside the pool on the deck?
(female climbs stairs to leave pool)
INSTRUCTOR
(smiling)
'Hey - where you going? This class ain't over!'
EXITING LADY
I have an appointment...
INSTRUCTOR
'That's what they all say! You're gonna miss a lot!'
(everyone laughs)
AFI
Like...that is soooo embarrassing! I mean, maybe she really did have an appointment
AFII
Oh she's just kidding! She always acts like that1
AFI
I dunno...
INSTRUCTOR
'Okay now we're gonna work on our upper thighs...'
AFI
Maybe it's me but I can't for the life of me figure out what she means
(turning to person on other side)
(Cont'd.) Do you mind if I watch your feet? I mean, I don't want you to think I'm a pervert or anything. I just can't follow the instructor
(woman ignores her)
(Cont'd) Ohmygawd - I'm exhausted. Maybe I should stop here...don't wanna tire myself out or anything... Yup. That's what I'm gonna do...
(Aside to AFII): 'Nice aqua-ing with you. Maybe we'll aqua fit together again'
(AFI starts to climb pool stairs)
INSTRUCTOR
Hey - you there! You're leaving me too? They all leave me in the end
(everyone laughs)
AFI
(to herself)
Maybe there's a reason for that...
INSTRUCTOR
Did you say something?
AFI
Look - I have to pee. We have a choice here. If I stay as you want me to and continue exercising, you can use your imagination as to what might or could happen. So now you make the choice. Do I stay or go?
INSTRUCTOR
Don't let us stop you
AFI
Thought you'd see it my way. 'Bye all. Remember to always keep your head above water'
AFI exits
IN THE POOL
SCENE: A SWIMMING POOL FILLED HALF WAY WITH FEMALES
INSTRUCTOR
We have a lot of people in the pool so spread out and give each other room
AQUA FITNESS PARTICIPANT (AFI)
Sorry - didn't mean to bump into you
AQUA FITNESS PARTICIPANT II (AFII)
No problem. Not much room to move around. Maybe some of us should go in the deeper water
AFI
Not me! I swim like a rock. Don't wanna be a headline in tomorrow's paper. "Woman drowns in deep end of pool during aqua fitness."
AFII
We're like sardines here!
AFI
Don't let me stop you from moving out further
AFII
Um...I'll just stay here
INSTRUCTOR
(jumping in water
Okay ladies - it's time to rock
AF1
(looking around)
Rock, huh... Okay...let's rock. Should we snap our fingers, too?
AFII
You don't have to do anything with your fingers. It's all in the leg movement
AFI
Actually that was a joke - obviously a weak one. You know...rock'n'roll music... Snap your fingers?
INSTRUCTOR
'Okay - left jog...center jog...right jog. Now cross-country moving forward...now backward...'
AFI
Don't know about you but I'm having trouble moving backwards while cross-country-ing facing the right...
AFII
Do what you can
AFI
I can't see her legs. Can you see her legs?
AFII
You don't have to see her what she's doing. Just follow her instructions
AFI
Maybe it's me but I have to see in addition to hear. Why doesn't she do exercise outside the pool on the deck?
(female climbs stairs to leave pool)
INSTRUCTOR
(smiling)
'Hey - where you going? This class ain't over!'
EXITING LADY
I have an appointment...
INSTRUCTOR
'That's what they all say! You're gonna miss a lot!'
(everyone laughs)
AFI
Like...that is soooo embarrassing! I mean, maybe she really did have an appointment
AFII
Oh she's just kidding! She always acts like that1
AFI
I dunno...
INSTRUCTOR
'Okay now we're gonna work on our upper thighs...'
AFI
Maybe it's me but I can't for the life of me figure out what she means
(turning to person on other side)
(Cont'd.) Do you mind if I watch your feet? I mean, I don't want you to think I'm a pervert or anything. I just can't follow the instructor
(woman ignores her)
(Cont'd) Ohmygawd - I'm exhausted. Maybe I should stop here...don't wanna tire myself out or anything... Yup. That's what I'm gonna do...
(Aside to AFII): 'Nice aqua-ing with you. Maybe we'll aqua fit together again'
(AFI starts to climb pool stairs)
INSTRUCTOR
Hey - you there! You're leaving me too? They all leave me in the end
(everyone laughs)
AFI
(to herself)
Maybe there's a reason for that...
INSTRUCTOR
Did you say something?
AFI
Look - I have to pee. We have a choice here. If I stay as you want me to and continue exercising, you can use your imagination as to what might or could happen. So now you make the choice. Do I stay or go?
INSTRUCTOR
Don't let us stop you
AFI
Thought you'd see it my way. 'Bye all. Remember to always keep your head above water'
AFI exits
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
A change of location on vacation has caused a state of lethargy.
So I've been making like many a snowbird and spending the winter down south. The weather has been absolutely fabulous and we are bathed in sunshine every day. Logically, I should feel inspired to be creative but the change of venue has sapped my inspiration. At home there is always something, someone, somewhere that tweaks my creative juices. My most pressing problem here is what number sun screen is best and whether my flip-flops will last until the end.
The most inspiring moments have occurred while doing aqua fitness listening to some of the comments made by the participants. Complaints about aching body parts, discussions where to go for supper - these are important topics!
The wild life here is truly amazing and most likely will turn up in some form in my paintings. When it comes to playwriting, I'm drawing a blank.
So I'm waiting for my muse to give me a kick in the right place to get me on track again. If not - there's no place like home, Auntie Em.
So I've been making like many a snowbird and spending the winter down south. The weather has been absolutely fabulous and we are bathed in sunshine every day. Logically, I should feel inspired to be creative but the change of venue has sapped my inspiration. At home there is always something, someone, somewhere that tweaks my creative juices. My most pressing problem here is what number sun screen is best and whether my flip-flops will last until the end.
The most inspiring moments have occurred while doing aqua fitness listening to some of the comments made by the participants. Complaints about aching body parts, discussions where to go for supper - these are important topics!
The wild life here is truly amazing and most likely will turn up in some form in my paintings. When it comes to playwriting, I'm drawing a blank.
So I'm waiting for my muse to give me a kick in the right place to get me on track again. If not - there's no place like home, Auntie Em.
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