SCENES FROM LIFE; A SHORT PLAYETTE
AT THE HAIRDRESSER: THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT

SCENE: SMALL HAIR STYLING SALON. HAIRDRESSERS ARE BUSY CAUGHT UP WITH DOING CLIENT'S HAIR. CLIENT E WALKS IN.


CLIENT E
Hi! Know I'm early as usual...

PENNY (HAIRDRESSER)
It's the friggin' phone again...never stops ringing...'THROW IT AGAINST THE WALL, PETER!'

CLIENT E
I see you're busy. I'll just go next door and look around..

PENNY
No stay! I've got another client coming at 3 o'clock...and another one a half hour later... Look at my book - full up! They expect me to do miracles! If I can't fit them in, I can't fit them in! What do they want from me?

PETER (MALE HAIRDRESSER)
'Pen - phone for you!'

PENNY
'Screw the phone!' Sit down E - I'll dye your hair in between customers. I have a cut and we'll work between the cut

(client sits down in chair. PENNY places plastic poncho around client's shoulders)

CLIENT E
You seem stressed. Your tooth again?

PENNY
Had root canal work. That was painless compared to what I go through here sometimes!

PETER
'Penny - for you again!'

PENNY
Tell them...tell them I'm dead! No don't say that. It's bad luck and I'll end up not going on vacation. Just say anything! I don't care! (aside to Client E) Sorry dear - I'm like, sooo exhausted

CLIENT E
Anybody in particular got you uptight?

PENNY
All of them! At least a lot of them They drive me nuts! Really!

CLIENT E
Hmmmmm...I can imagine. Must get hairy sometimes. Hey look! I made a hairdresser joke...

PENNY
...I'm gonna become a dog groomer. That's what I'm gonna do... No stress in that job. Yeah...maybe I should become a dog groomer...

MARIA (ANOTHER HAIRDRESER)
She's right! They do drive us crazy sometimes

PETER
'Whad'ya want me to say?'

PENNY
Give me the phone already...Hello? Uh-huh...let me check my appointment book... No - I can't take you at 2 o'clock on Wednesday. I'm full up... There is no way...I'm looking at this week's appointment book... What? Next week? Ohhhhhh...you didn't say that...then there's lots of room. Why don't you have a morning appointment...

(PENNY rolls her eyes)

PENNY
Dear - sweetie - I'm going to check and call you back...I'm doing a customer's hair...I have your number - oh do I have your number! Bye - call you back soon. Don't worry - I won't forget about you

BELLA (another client)
Rinse me, please!

PENNY
Bella hon - I just put the dye on fifteen minutes ago. It's not time yet

BELLA
Seems like you put it on an hour ago...

PENNY
(quietly and patiently)
No sweetie - just fifteen long minutes ago! Now why don't go back and read a nice magazine!

BELLA
I read them all and anyway, they're five years old. Are you sure you just put on the dye?

PENNY
(quietly, staring down at the floor)
Trust me...

(BELLA walks back to the seating area)

PENNY
...said the spider to the fly... 'Maria! What's the number of the vet?'

CLIENT E
You wouldn't...would you?

PENNY
Who knows! Thank goodness I'm going on a vacation in three weeks but it will seem like forever! Same color like always?

CLIENT E
Same as usual. Where you going?

PENNY
Cuba. Maybe they need a good groomer for dogs and cats there

CLIENT E
Cats don't need grooming. They do that themsleves

PENNY
So - maybe I'll start a new trend or something

PETER
(laughing)
'Penny - phone for you! It's your favorite client!'

PENNY
No! Not Mrs. H! Tell her...I left or something

PETER
'I told her you're busy but she won't take no for an aswer!"

PENNY
Maria...friend of mine. How about you take Mrs. H. I'll do you a big favor one day

MARIA
Penny - I love you dearly but there's no way

PENNY
Is there no relief for me from these people who make unreasonable demands? 'Peter - hand me the phone! Where are my stop smoking patches...'

(TO BE CONTINUED. WILL PENNY HOLD ON UNTIL HER CUBAN HOLIDAY? WILL SHE FIND ROOM  IN HER APPOINTMENT BOOK? WE WILL SEE...)