a. PLAYWRIGHT'S UPDATE - THE ON GOING ANGST CONTINUES...

"Been doing anything about your plays and your plan to get them produced, Eleanor?"

Well glad that you asked, friend, because I have already started things in motion towards this goal.

"So tell us what's happening! Share!"

To begin with I submitted my two-act play, "GIN - AN ALLEGORY FOR PLAYING THE GAME OF LIFE" to a theatre in Philadelphia. Don't want to mention the name in case it will be bad luck. Mind you given my track record... Still, when I get a response one way or the other, then I'll name-names.

"That's it, Eleanor? That's the only one?"

Well... I did submit my one-and-only one act play, "RETRIBUTION" to the BBC's International Playwriting Competition for radio for playwright's living anywhere in the world except Great Britain. This was a complete departure for me and it required a semi-rewrite to replace the physical directions with dialogue and sound effects. Actually, it was an interesting challenge. If I win (I should be so lucky!) I'll be flown to England and see my play being performed.

"Anything else you feel like sharing?"

For the second time I sent a short-short i.e. 10 minutes to a competition where plays are performed in the geographical location of the play's setting.

"Got any plans for the future?"

I'd like to find an outlet for my "A Night Out with Barbie and Ken and Other Mattel Dolls" if anyone reading this is interested. Very funny and entertaining. I envision it being performed as a doll theatre or even more interesting and challenging, with real live people acting out the roles of Barbie, GIJoe, Ken, Blaine and a Bratz doll.

Whenever there's news I'll report it here and provide the details in an update.

A NIGHT OUT WITH BARBIE, KEN AND OTHER PLASTIC FRIENDS
(a comedy sketch)

SCENE:TRENDY NIGHTCLUB/BAR.

BARBIE (of Barbie doll fame) dressed in one of her trendy and stylish outfits arrives at the door with an entourage of other Barbie-like dolls i.e. BRATZ. walking on tip-toe as in a doll-like fashion. GI JOE, dressed in army fatigues and chomping on a cigar enters directly behind them, walking backwards in a semi-crouched position clutching his automatic weapon pointed at a 45 degree angle, ready to shoot.

BARBIE
Like…Joe - could you… like…maybe lower that thingie? You’re like…embarrassing me! And did you have to wear that outfit in public? It’s like…so tack-y and the colors are so wrong for you!

GIJOE
(eyes darting around the room)
I told you babe - gotta carry it with me everywhere I go. The enemy is everywhere… Could even be - her!

(points and wavies weapon at a Bratz doll).

(cont'd) She could be a double agent! You a double-agent, babe? Lemme frisk you

BRATZ DOLL
(screaming in response)
Like…Barbie – maybe you should – like - drop him?

BARBIE
(whispering)
Like…you’re em-bar-ras-sing me again, Joe!(out loud) He’s so funny, this guy! Ha-ha-ha! What a weird-o!

GIJOE
(pulling down his fatigue pants)
Hey! I’m all man where it counts! Wanna see?

(the Bratz dolls focus at GIJOE’s crotch area)

BARBIE
(pulling up his pants)
Um- Joe - we’re out for a night of fun with our friends here. Couldn’t you, like, forget about your search for enemies for a while? For me? Pleeeeze?

GIJOE
(frisking the Bratz)
Friends? How d’ya know they’re you’re friends? Huh? They could be hiding weapons

BRATZ DOLL
He’s doing it again, Barbie! Make him stop!

BARBIE
(pulling JOE away from them)
Uh…Joe - could you move my arm up to my head? I’d like to check my always blond, never-needs-a-touch-up, perfect hair

GIJOE
(jerking Barbie’s arm upwards and then on her back)
Sure honey. Anything for my sweetie.

BARBIE
Um hon - could you stop now? My arm is on my back. Bring it forward a bit…not too much…a little more… There.

GIJOE
A soldier is always on the alert to help out whenever called upon. Uh-oh. Looks like we got us a bad guy at four o’clock

BARBIE
You’re not gonna shoot up the place again…Oh silly! It’s just Ken. He is like…sooo pathetic

(KEN, Barbie’s-ex stands at the door, dressed in beach gear and holding a surf board)

(cont'd)Look at what he’s wearing! Same old tired surfer’s gear. If I told him once, I told him a dozen times to update his outfit but did he listen? Noooooo! And he wonders why I, Barbie, the queen of the fashionistas, left him! He’s like…so pathetic!

(KEN spots Barbie and company and tip-toes in doll fashion, over to their table)

KEN
Hi Barbie! Hey Bratz girls! So…surf’s up!

BARBIE
Same old Ken wearing the same old tired outfit

KEN
Oh yeah? What about your army friend over there? Every time I see him, he’s wearing those filthy army fatigues. What makes him so great?

BARBIE
Well…he’s – um – brave and he – um – protects me and…

KEN
So? I can protect you, too

BARBIE
Like how? With your surfboard? Plleeeze! Get a life!

KEN
How can I have a life without you, babe? What’s Ken without Barbie? Life just ain’t the same since you been gone

(KEN stares off into the distance)

(cont'd) Uh-oh! Is that a big wave I see there?

BARBIE
Oh Ken, Ken, Ken… It’s just a waiter with a big tray serving drinks

KEN
Of course…I knew that…

BARBIE
You’re the same old Ken. All you think about is surfing and look at yourself. You’ve been wearing the same outfit for more than twenty years.

KEN
Hey - things are gonna be different! I got me some new stuff to wear in time for Valentine’s Day. Just a sec… I brought it along in my duffle…they’re letting me wear it early…

(KEN brings out a black t-shirt, black leather jacket and boots. He puts on the t-shirt, jacket over the bathing suit and the boots)

(cont'd) So? Whad’ya think? Am I cool or what?

BARBIE
It’s an improvement…but ditch the surf board

KEN
Ditch the surf board? I-I can’t! It’s part of who I am. We go to sleep together!

BARBIE
I remember – oh how I remember!

(the BRATZ dolls suddenly screech and rush to the entrance. A hunky blond masculine looking male, BLAINE, with straight blond-ish hair makes his way to them, walking tippy-toe in doll-like fashion)

BLAINE
G’day. You’re a spunky Sheila!

(GI JOE rushes over and points his gun at BLAINE)

GIJOE
Her name ain’t Sheila – it’s Barbie! Up against the wall…hands behind your back. Told you there’s agents everywhere!

BLAINE
‘Ey mate – easy on! I’m ‘ere for a good time! Look – I got lots of quid! See? I’m rich! Drinks for everyone! If someone could reach in my pocket…

(GIJOE frisks BLAINE and brings out lots of paper bills. BARBIE watches)

BARBIE
Pleased to meet you… What did you say your name was, again? My but you have nice clothes…

KEN
But…what about me? I have new clothes, too!

GIJOE
Get out of the way, Ken! I gotta frisk this guy again. He could be hiding hand grenades

KEN
There she goes. The love of my life.

GIJOE
She’s probably a double agent. Maybe YOU’RE a double agent. Here lemme frisk you…

(GI JOE frisks KEN)

KEN
Ohhhhh…that feels good… I mean, why don’t you come back to my beach house! I could teach you how to surf and we can frisk each other while riding the waves…

(GI JOE and KEN leave with KEN’s arm on top of GIJOE’s head as GI JOE continues to frisk him)

KEN
Oh I’m baaaaad….real baaaad…


© 2006 Eleanor Tylbor