Friday, March 31, 2006

ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?



MR. WILLIAM SHAKEASPEAR
FLAT "C"
STRATFORD-UPON-AVON

Dear William,


Glad to receive your latest update, especially the good news that the Globe has decided to use one of your plays. By the way, which one did you decide to use in the end? The ghost one? I'm sort-of partial to anything supernatural. Besides, the public is very "into" this type of story line so it's a wise choice.

As for me...same old, same old. Waiting to receive news regarding the fate of some short plays I've submitted to various competitions. If memory serves me I should be hearing something within the month but then who knows! It's been my experience that no news doesn't necessarily mean good tidings although I keep telling myself it is or could be. Maybe? Hopefully? Keeping my fingers crossed, though, in addition to my toes and my eyes. A little playwriting indulgence and folly.

Of course...being the established playwright that you are and all, you no longer have to concern yourself with such trivialities. I mean, you're so well known and respected in the theatre community that just spotting your name in the pile of submitted plays puts you to the top of the list.

"Oh look!" one reader probably says to another. "It's another one from Willy Boy (I'm sure they probably have that pet name for you or something similar). Of course it will be good and we'll love it instantly but let's go through the motions. It's only fair!"

Do I sound jealous? You bet! I mean - what does it feel like, Willy, to have your play seen by real people? Don't know if I mentioned it - and let's keep it to ourselves - but and I feel so silly even writing this - I frequently use my cat Fluffy and my two dogs, Lester and Hubert, as sounding boards for my plays. Problem is it's difficult to gauge their reaction since they usually sleep through the first act. Actually, through the second act too, however they do wake for the finale when I utter their favorite word: "lunch-ies!"

What can I say, Willy? I take my audiences as I find them. Today I have a reading at the local community center with the participation of the "Ladies of Walmart South" group, some of which I've been told have acting experience. Should be quite an experience and I'll report back to you on the results.

Please give my regards to the gang down at the pub and tell them that Eleanor says 'hi'!' By the way break a leg yourself!

Yours in playwriting,

Eleanor
MR. WILLIAM SHAKEASPEAR, ESQ.
FLAT "C",
STRATFORD-UPON AVON

Dearest William,

How are things going with you? Had any new plays produced lately?

There’s good news and bad news and neutral news, depending on the interpretation. Most of my "babies" have come home to mama...again. Oh the angst of it all!

I know I should feel somewhat relieved knowing that at the very least they’re back home with their creator but there remains that nagging question: “WHY?” Since there was and seldom is commentary provided by the recipients, the reason for rejection is strictly speculation.

In discussing artistic hang-ups with fellow playwrights most were in agreement that after releasing their plays to the world, the second worst thing is the waiting period for replies that frequently don't/never arrive.

When it comes to creative anxiety, playwrights have the corner in this area. There's always this incessant concern that:

a) the play is/was drivel and the recipient will/did immediately toss it in the trash or
b) maybe it never reached its destination having dropped out of a mail bag along the way or
c) maybe the recipient liked the play but the theatre's season is filled up and they decided to keep it for a future production, and by mistake dropped it in "file thirteen" at the bottom of a trash can

A creative idea would be to include a card containing tick-off boxes along with the elusive SASE, in the hope that the director/reader/janitor will send it back:

"Dear Playwright,

This is to advise you that we have received your play and we find that:

a) your play is typed well and we like the font
b) your play had insufficient postage so we took the postage stamp off your return envelope for future use, as payment
c) your play is drivel
d) your play is so good that we are immediately staging it for a Broadway/London/wherever opening, after which it will tour the world

In any case there is still one literary baby “out there.” Where there is life there's hope.

Oh please, oh please, let there be hope! Playwrights live on those four letters!

Meanwhile, say hello to the little missus and the children.

'Til next time...

Eleanor