The end is near for Joe McKenna, in more ways than one. My short play, "Old Soldiers" is reaching a finale, I'm thrilled to report.

"So when did this all occur, Eleanor?"

For whatever reason - desperation to make a deadline springs to mind - I've been adding material/dialogue over the past two weeks. Periodically, there have been re-checks and tweaking to ensure that the flow of words "sounds" natural and things make sense. Overall, things are progressing at a good speed.

"Do you think you can make the deadline?"

I'm aiming for this but one never knows. It has to be ready to submit by the end of July and time is marching on. Always that will-it-be-ready anxiety. Also, there is still one existing problem as I view it.

"And that would be...?"

A very serious issue, actually, which is insufficient sound effects. Rather than angst over this issue and waste time going back to see what can be added, I'm focusing on the story and dialogue and then re-examine and add after (she wrote hopefully).

"How many more pages left to write?"

Approximately twenty pages, which will focus on Joe's stand to make a point, his meeting with a young boy and Joe's three friends. In other words, the wind up to the story. Still not sure whether all the above-mentioned aspects will be included, It depends on the amount of space.

Did I mention I'm pleased with myself?

My "Old Soldiers" are getting antsy and so am I. A few weeks to go to finish up their story and I'm experiencing a slight case - not full...yet - of panic.

I've been adding dialogue regularly and am satisfied with the progression of the story line. My concern, however - it's always the 'howevers' in life that will get you - is the lack of sound effects. Normally, my focus would be on the dialogue but given the nature of the medium, obviously sound plays an important part. The dialogue itself (IMHO) is good, I'm satisfied with the character development and the scenes are logical. But...

"So explain the problem(s) and/or concerns for us, Eleanor."

The first scene takes place in a pub and sound effects include the buzz of people chatting, glasses clinking, a juke-box producing music. That's it, folks! Suggestions here would be appreciated!

Subsequent scenes focus on the "gang of three" i.e. Joe's friends, studying Joe from afar from their vantage point in a small sports car, Joe's conversation while travelling on the bus and talking to friends at a park.

Haven't decided yet which scenario to follow leading to the finale. There are three possibilities and I can't make up my mind which one to pursue. Another concern is that for whatever reason, didn't note that the play has a 55 page limit and I was working on a 70-odd page limitation. The play as I write it, is taking on a life of its own and I'm not sure it can be completed as a radio play in the alloted time.

"So what's the probability of it being adaptable for a radio play?"

It could go either way depending on which route so to speak, it goes. Meanwhile, there are choices to be made and decision to be taken. Will share more thoughts as they occur.

Still more progress on "OLD SOLDIERS" - be still my beating heart!

Can't believe I'm writing this but still more progress today.

"So what's happening with "the" play, Eleanor?"

Well...I'm now up to scene 4 or as I number it, Scene IV and even sharing this reality is quite unnerving. I'm always afraid that my writing "roll" will come to an abrupt end.

"Did you amend the time line that concerned you the other day?"

Managed to make some necessary changes to dialogue that fixed this problem.

"So where are you now?"

I"m at the point where Joe is re-visiting the park before the ceremonies take place. Following close behind in the true sense of the word, are his pub pals who have decided to tag along.

"What is it about this play that has such a hold on you?"

The original short story was based on an interview I did with a veteran for a newspaper column. Thinking about his experiences as I wrote the article, the story formed in my mind. Joe McKenna could be any old soldier who has lived a long - maybe too long - life. He feels embittered by his current existence and wants to make a symbolic gesture of his feelings.

More updates to follow - hopefully she wrote.

Still working on the "Old Soldiers" re-write. Today tweaked some more dialogue that didn't feel right or fit into the scenario. Getting stuck or hung up on the time line and trying to make the flow of action logical. Caught an error in that if the remembrance ceremony takes place in the afternoon, the opening in the bar where they're discussing life can't take place in the evening.

Working on a few possible scenarios:

- Joe goes to the park before ceremony to where he and Percy played checkers/chess
- Joe meets up with Percy's grandson and daughter at the park
- The strong bonds of friendship between Joe and his friends.

Thinking over the antagonist/protagonist angle and how or if it will work. Did someone say it was easy to write a radio play?

Will share more as the thoughts come together - hopefully.

"So tell us - how's the "Old Soldiers" re-write coming along these days, Eleanor?"

Actually, I'm pleased to report that real progress is being made. I've written three new scenes but the challenge is, as to be expected, the sound effects. In writing a play specifically geared for radio production, I try to imagine myself listening to the words and letting the sound effects move me along . Sort of watching TV without the visuals.

"Do you think you'll make the deadline this time?"

Obviously, this is my main thrust and goal. If - and I say 'if' - the play is deemed not ready - at least the end result will be a new play and a new medium for me. Planning to check the BBC guide to radio featured on their site to ensure that it's heading in the right direction.

"You mentioned a children's film script that you wrote..."

It's been a long time since the last read-through and it's time to see if it still has legs. Going back, I finished the script along with a lot of re-writes but never submitted it anywhere. Why? Plain, old, basic, fear. It's that old loss of control thingie. As mentioned, will share my findings - and gut feeling, here.

So right now I'm returning to watch Joe make his way to the ceremonies along with his friends trailing close behind, watching. As am I.

Progress at last with "Old Soldiers"!

Now that the art show preparations and show itself is over, I made the decision to give painting a rest, at least for the summer. Thing is that focusing on two different creative mediums at the same time leads to the detriment of one. In this case it was my playwriting, ergo, time to put all my energy into playwriting.

Anybody who follows my playwriting blog is familiar with my moaning-and-groaning, ranting and raving about my stagnant state in as far as the "Old Soldiers" play for radio project is concerned. I'm pleased to report and share that I've added three - count 'em - three scenes today. Still finding it difficult to ensure that there are sufficient sound effects to help carry the story line but there is progress in this area also. While writing, I'm still getting the feeling that it lends itself more to film or TV than radio but I'm not going to make any changes, at least while I'm on a roll. Oh sweet heaven it feels so good to be on a roll again!

While storing my art materials in the supply cupboard, I decided to clean out my writing box. A long time ago as a young mom when I first began writing, I wrote a film script using Syd Field's how-to book. Actually, the end result, "Skate!" was, at least in my humble opinion, quite good. There were many re-writes and today came accross a few versions languishing at the bottom of the box and removed them to the top of the pile. It's been a long time since I last read it and it will be interesting to get a new and fresh perspective many years later. Will share my findings of course.

Back to my current project, so far - so good. Somehow it just feels right and I'm taking that as an omen. You takes your omens as you finds them.

SCENES FROM LIFE; A SHORT PLAYETTE
AT THE HAIRDRESSER: THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT

SCENE: SMALL HAIR STYLING SALON. HAIRDRESSERS ARE BUSY CAUGHT UP WITH DOING CLIENT'S HAIR. CLIENT E WALKS IN.


CLIENT E
Hi! Know I'm early as usual...

PENNY (HAIRDRESSER)
It's the friggin' phone again...never stops ringing...'THROW IT AGAINST THE WALL, PETER!'

CLIENT E
I see you're busy. I'll just go next door and look around..

PENNY
No stay! I've got another client coming at 3 o'clock...and another one a half hour later... Look at my book - full up! They expect me to do miracles! If I can't fit them in, I can't fit them in! What do they want from me?

PETER (MALE HAIRDRESSER)
'Pen - phone for you!'

PENNY
'Screw the phone!' Sit down E - I'll dye your hair in between customers. I have a cut and we'll work between the cut

(client sits down in chair. PENNY places plastic poncho around client's shoulders)

CLIENT E
You seem stressed. Your tooth again?

PENNY
Had root canal work. That was painless compared to what I go through here sometimes!

PETER
'Penny - for you again!'

PENNY
Tell them...tell them I'm dead! No don't say that. It's bad luck and I'll end up not going on vacation. Just say anything! I don't care! (aside to Client E) Sorry dear - I'm like, sooo exhausted

CLIENT E
Anybody in particular got you uptight?

PENNY
All of them! At least a lot of them They drive me nuts! Really!

CLIENT E
Hmmmmm...I can imagine. Must get hairy sometimes. Hey look! I made a hairdresser joke...

PENNY
...I'm gonna become a dog groomer. That's what I'm gonna do... No stress in that job. Yeah...maybe I should become a dog groomer...

MARIA (ANOTHER HAIRDRESER)
She's right! They do drive us crazy sometimes

PETER
'Whad'ya want me to say?'

PENNY
Give me the phone already...Hello? Uh-huh...let me check my appointment book... No - I can't take you at 2 o'clock on Wednesday. I'm full up... There is no way...I'm looking at this week's appointment book... What? Next week? Ohhhhhh...you didn't say that...then there's lots of room. Why don't you have a morning appointment...

(PENNY rolls her eyes)

PENNY
Dear - sweetie - I'm going to check and call you back...I'm doing a customer's hair...I have your number - oh do I have your number! Bye - call you back soon. Don't worry - I won't forget about you

BELLA (another client)
Rinse me, please!

PENNY
Bella hon - I just put the dye on fifteen minutes ago. It's not time yet

BELLA
Seems like you put it on an hour ago...

PENNY
(quietly and patiently)
No sweetie - just fifteen long minutes ago! Now why don't go back and read a nice magazine!

BELLA
I read them all and anyway, they're five years old. Are you sure you just put on the dye?

PENNY
(quietly, staring down at the floor)
Trust me...

(BELLA walks back to the seating area)

PENNY
...said the spider to the fly... 'Maria! What's the number of the vet?'

CLIENT E
You wouldn't...would you?

PENNY
Who knows! Thank goodness I'm going on a vacation in three weeks but it will seem like forever! Same color like always?

CLIENT E
Same as usual. Where you going?

PENNY
Cuba. Maybe they need a good groomer for dogs and cats there

CLIENT E
Cats don't need grooming. They do that themsleves

PENNY
So - maybe I'll start a new trend or something

PETER
(laughing)
'Penny - phone for you! It's your favorite client!'

PENNY
No! Not Mrs. H! Tell her...I left or something

PETER
'I told her you're busy but she won't take no for an aswer!"

PENNY
Maria...friend of mine. How about you take Mrs. H. I'll do you a big favor one day

MARIA
Penny - I love you dearly but there's no way

PENNY
Is there no relief for me from these people who make unreasonable demands? 'Peter - hand me the phone! Where are my stop smoking patches...'

(TO BE CONTINUED. WILL PENNY HOLD ON UNTIL HER CUBAN HOLIDAY? WILL SHE FIND ROOM  IN HER APPOINTMENT BOOK? WE WILL SEE...)

GOING TO THE ENDING TO GET TO THE BEGINNING

Rather than start another play and half-way through come to the realization that: a) there is no ending or the ending doesn't match the rest or b) it's full of crap, I'm still in the thinking stage. Perhaps John Irving wouldn't approve but then again, I kind'a think he would.

Can't speak for others but writing a play, short or otherwise, comes easy when the idea is good and I can relate to the concept personally.

Read somewhere - can't trace down the source - that Woody Allen, director, writer etc. etc. starts his script with one word. This to me is incredible! He actually builds his script from one word. Mind you I've got ideas that worked for my mini-plays while sitting in a hair stylist chair and in my dentist's office. No matter where I am, I study and take notes. Sometimes it works and sometimes it don't but when it does, as I've written many times before, it's magic.

The more I'm writing this, the more ideas are flowing through/into my brain so I better take advantage of my muse. It could be a quick visit.

Perhaps a solution to my dilemma is at hand and it's thanks to John Irving.

As a subscriber to playwriting discussion forums, it's interesting and informative to read other playwright's opinions on the craft. Subjects that focus on how they overcome barriers when working out plots and endings is of particular interest to me, at least at this point.

I've shared...make that bemoaned my 'ending' problem ad nauseum here in this blog, attempting to convert a what was written as a short play into an hour radio play in order to enter the BBC International Playwriting Competition. The beginning moves along nicely until reaching the middle stage, at which point one arrives at the realization that there is no ending. This is the point where I question whether to continue pursuing playwriting especially since none of my plays have been produced.

Reading through one of the forums, there was one of those "eureka!!" moments upon reading the opinion (and advice) of novelist and Academy Award winning screenwriter, John Irving, who shared his philosophy on starting a new writing project:

"I begin with endings, with last sentences -- usually more than one sentence, often a last paragraph (or two). I compose an ending and write toward it, as if the ending were a piece of music I could hear -- no matter how many years ahead of me it is waiting."

This got me excited thinking that perhaps this could be a solution to my"never-ending" dilemma or at least something worth trying. There are two possible plays that I'm toying with submitting to the competition. As aside my two-act plays wrote themselves as did my one and only film script. In my wedding play, it ended with a wedding in an unusual setting but I knew exactly the direction the play should go and how it should get there. Does this make sense? My "Gin..." play on the other hand, had a few changes along the way, while my children"s script wrote itself since it was based on a personal childhood experience.

Perhaps I should put aside what has been written and focus on producing sentences that could lead to moving in a new direction or even a new play. Look - if it's good enough for John Irving, it's certainly good enough for me.

THREE DREADED R'S: REVISION, RE-THINKING, RE-WRITING OF "NEIGHBORS"

*UPDATE NUMBER 3

Do I sound frustrated? Trying not to be but am reaching that point (insert lots of sighs here).

Last night and this morning, did some more editing on "Neighbors." Can't call it a play - yet - since it's still in the revision stage. That in itself is a problem but there's also this on-going annoyance that gnaws at me like a dog with a bone.

Having reached and read and did some revisions until sixty pages, there is still no resolution. This makes me think as to whether there is a problem that can be resolved or whether there is a problem, period. It's obvious at this point that I'm going to have to do some major editing and change of direction. One of the characters may have to be eliminated since his contribution to the story line really isn't necessary. In other words - the story could survive without the character.

I've got a dramatic ending in mind but this can't be accomplished unless the story is shortened, somewhat, so it can play out naturally. The female character would play a major role along with one of the lead characters.

I'm also toying with the idea - strictly at the idea stage - of having something dramatic occur in the bar i.e. a hold-up...something. That means there are two possible endings. Perhaps one of the characters would save the life of the other, something totally out of character... Really - I don't know at this point.

Lots of choices and directions to go and time is marching on. But am I?

"Give us another update on your play re-write, Eleanor"

So I check into Facebook as is my habit, and I notice that the BBC has added a blurb that entries are already rolling in for the BBC International Playwriting Competition. They're very excited but I, on the other hand, am verklempt. Rough translation: pffffft. Then again and thinking further, perhaps those early-bird playwrights already had a 60 min. play and all they had to do was submit it. Or, perhaps, their muse paid them a visit (lucky them!). Meanwhile, I'm still working on an ending. You would think that an ending should be easy, You know the story-line, you know the characters and logically, one should know the ending. When does logic enter in the pictures, anyway? In reading playwriting blogs and pieces by seasoned playwrights, they are of the opinion that one should know the ending before embarking on writing the play. What worries me is that all my completed plays were written with ease from beginning to end. In "Neighbors", I'm already experincing problems.

I've reached the 28 page stage, which would be just over a 20-minute short play. It was written initially as a 20 minute short play and then re-written as a full play in the making, and now adapted to a sixty minute play. Maybe it was a good idea at the time but...

I'm already getting jumpy about having it ready for the deadline - but this is an old story.

"So what is the problem, girl?".

One character, Rob Portman, has a love interest, which is interesting but I'm not sure if I'm going off on a tangent moving in this direction. She is the only female character in the play and I'm not sure whether she's really ncessary.

Questions I'm asking myself:

- why have I included her
- what does she add to the story, if anything

She would reveal a tender side of Rob and elicit sympathy to his character, but then does he need sympathy?

Lots of questions and a lot of searching for answers, for sure.

"So Eleanor - tells us how it's going with your BBC project."

Well - you know there's hesitancy when starting a sentence using the word 'well' - I'm making progress but have encountered a problem.

"Already? What's the dilemma?"

I've been editing the play from the beginning and making changes as I go along. It occurred to me after writing about a quarter of the way through that I should read the play through to the end. This was a revelation in that I realized I hadn't provided an ending to the play since, as I recall, I had inteded to turn it into a full 2-hour play. Best laid plans and all that. In any case, a definite roadblock.

The play itself has potential but has to be flushed out. This is the story of my playwriting life. The dialogue requires some cutting and blending and of course most importantly, an ending. So now I'm trying to figure out how and where to cut and stream-line. In other words - a re-think.

Frequently, when I'm stuck, I mentally go through a process where we i.e. characters and myself, have a conversation in the form of a question and answer period. This helps. We're already communicating to move the process along.

"So do you think you'll be ready to submit by the May deadline?"

Hopefully, I'm making a concerted effort since this was one of my first plays I ever wrote and it has definite potential. Famous last words...

SCENES FROM LIFE: A SHORT PLAYETTE
THE MISSING SOCK DILEMMA
by Eleanor Tylbor


SCENE: AT THE POLICE STATION: a woman walks in a police station, a large plastic bag in her hand. Person walks to the front desk.

POLICE OFFICER
Can I help you?

WOMAN
I want to report a robbery

POLICE OFFICER
Do you want to file a report?

WOMAN
You bet!

POLICE OFFICER
What type of a robbery? A break-in your house?

WOMAN
No

POLICE OFFICER
A purse snatching?

WOMAN
None of those

(she dumps bag of socks on to the counter/front desk)

POLICE OFFICER
Um...I'm sorry?

WOMAN
So am I. Believe me

POLICE OFFICER
What's going on?

WOMAN
I'll tell you what's going on. Somebody in this city is stealing socks!

POLICE OFFICER
Come again? Did you say, stealing...socks?

WOMAN
Somebody, I don't know who, is stealing socks from my clothes dryer. This pile of socks here are all "one-sies." They are all alone in the world without a mate

POLICE OFFICER
I see... Perhaps - and I'm just saying - you somehow missplaced them?

WOMAN
You sound just like my husband. He tells me the same thing but I know somebody is stealing them! Thing is - there are no windows in my laundry room

POLICE OFFICER
Well then - perhaps - and I'm just guessing - they dropped out when you were sorting them

WOMAN
I'm always very careful to empty the dryer and check and double-check that there's nothing left in there. So? Are you going to make a report?

POLICE OFFICER
Um - it's very unusual to make a report on missing socks

WOMAN
(picking up socks and bringing them close to police officer's face)
Look at these - brand new socks missing a mate. This is an accumulation of one-sies over the last five year period

POLICE OFFICER
(laughing)
You sound just like my wife. She complains about the same thing. Believes that the socks are sucked into the dryer exhaust and then through pipes

WOMAN
Aha! Your house too, huh? It's my belief that there's a gang of sock thieves working dryer pipes and re-selling them to people who are trying to match their missing socks.

POLICE OFFICER
I don't think so.

WOMAN
So where do YOU think they go? Huh?

POLICE OFFICER
I really can't say...often wondered that myself...(laughing) Maybe it's alien abductions

WOMAN
Officer - I am not crazy. I am a woman who is sick-and-tired of having to buy new socks, only to see them stolen within a few weeks.

POLICE OFFICER
To be honest m'am - we don't have officers with expertise in sock bandits and we're short on staff...

WOMAN
So you're not going to do anything about it?

POLICE OFFICER
Afraid not. Look - I understand your situation and I don't have any answers

(another person approaches the front desk, bag in hand)

OFFICER
Can I help you?

MAN
I'm hoping so.

(empties bag of socks on desk)

I'd like to report missing socks...

WOMAN
(jumping in)

...you too? I'm here for the same thing.

OFFICER
Why don't you two go...somewhere and compare your sock collection? Between the two of you, you just may make some pairs!

WOMAN
Well...it's worth a shot!

(gathering up socks and putting them in bag and walking out of the door)

So...how long have your socks gone missing?

MAN
Ever since the alien abduction...

BBC  RADIO COMPETITION IS BECKONING ME - AGAIN

"Two new pieces in your playwriting blog in one day! Must be something really important, Eleanor!"

Yes it is...could be...maybe...one hopes

Anybody who drops by this blog is familiar with my continuous effort and accompanying angst to write a radio play for the BBC International Playwriting Competition. This year my idea and hope was to turn my "Old Soldiers" story into a radio play and enter it in the competition. However - I abhor that word - my intent wasn't realized in producing dialogue and once again what I thought was the deadline for entries, passed. My problem was coming up with sound effects that would carry the story line. Perhaps, in retrospect, I just wasn't committed enough to make it work. It's always the could-have, would-have and should-have that get you in the end.

In any case, just did a routine check on my Facebook page and something exciting jumped up at me:

"Exciting news! The 2012 International Playwriting Competition will open on May 1st. Plays can be on any topic but must be 53 minutes long. Details of how to enter and more information will soon be available at www.bbcworldservice.com/radioplay It’s time to get writing!"

This is really thrilling news because this means that there is yet another opportunity to submit. Perhaps a good idea would be to write something new from scratch. As the blurb advises - "it's time to get writing!"

Yup it is. As in the past, will be providing progerss reports - hopefully.

"So do you think you"ll have the carry-through to enter this time, Eleanor?" my muse just asked me.

Hope springs eternal. Right?

SCENES FROM LIFE: A SHORT PLAYETTE
AT THE GARDEN CENTRE

SCENE: CUSTOMER STANDS AT THE RETURN COUNTER IN GARDEN CENTRE, HOLDING A PAPER BAG OPEN AT THE TOP


GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
"Number 14...who's number 14?"

CUSTOMER
Here! That would be me! See? Here's my ticket. Number 14

GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Now that we've agreed on that, what can I do for you?

CUSTOMER
I'd like to return these plants, please

GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Flowering or green?

(customer opens bag, removes contents and places them on counter earth spilling everywhere)

CUSTOMER
These plants. They're annuals as you can tell...then again, maybe you don't garden...not everyone likes to play in dirt. That's a little garden humor, there!

GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Come again? You want to return...dead garden plants. Now I've heard it all

CUSTOMER
You have a money-back-no-questions-asked policy?

GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Yes but...

CUSTOMER
...well - these former, vibrant living things are no longer in this world. Gone to see their maker. Never to feel the heat of the sun, again. I have the bill here...

GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Lady - those plants are dead!

CUSTOMER
Right - and that's why I'm returning them! Oh the angst and guilt of garden passings!

GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
That doesn't include plants!

CUSTOMER
Show me where it says that. Money back is money back. Besides, how do I know that you don't sell defective or sick plants?

GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Lady - we have a reputation to uphold.

CUSTOMER
Thinking back, they died almost immediately. That should tell you something!

GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
When did you plant these? They're a collection of black mush. Can't even tell what they were

CUSTOMER
They were dahlias. Planted them the week that you started selling them. Sometime in March...I think... Yup - March

GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
March? You planted these in...March? The ground was still frozen! How did you even get a spade in the ground

CUSTOMER
I managed. We garden lovers can make the impossible happen. So are you going to give me back my money?

GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Damn - there's ants crawling all over the counter...

(garden center employee smashes ants with her hand and fingers)

CUSTOMER
Even more reason to return me my money as soon as possible. Oh look - there goes a earwig. Boy those bugs sure can move fast...right accross the counter there...

GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Let's settle this before the place is invaded by ants. How about I replace those...whatever -

CUSTOMER
- dahlias...once beautiful...dahlias...

GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
...whatever with brand new live plants? Would that be acceptable?

CUSTOMER
That would be perfectly okay with me. You could be a little more sympathetic to my predicament. By the way, what should I do with these dearly departed?

GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
'I will not open my mouth to a customer...I will be polite to a customer...' Um - just leave them here. I'll take care of them

CUSTOMER
Is it okay if I say good-bye? I'm very attached

GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Whatever... 'They don't pay me enough...'

CUSTOMER
(touching plants)
'Plants - friends - I'm very sorry that my TLC didn't save you from extinction. I tried - I really tried! Go now - go meet your friends in the garden in the sky!'

GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
Good. Said your goodbyes?

CUSTOMER
Yes. It's always so hard to deal with plant deaths

GARDEN CENTER EMPLOYEE
(grabbing dead plants and tossing them in trash can)
Not really. "Number 20 - who's got number 20?"

SCENES FROM LIFE: A SHORT PLAYETTE
IN THE POOL

SCENE: A SWIMMING POOL FILLED HALF WAY WITH FEMALES

INSTRUCTOR
We have a lot of people in the pool so spread out and give each other room

AQUA FITNESS PARTICIPANT (AFI)
Sorry - didn't mean to bump into you

AQUA FITNESS PARTICIPANT II (AFII)
No problem. Not much room to move around. Maybe some of us should go in the deeper water

AFI
Not me! I swim like a rock. Don't wanna be a headline in tomorrow's paper. "Woman drowns in deep end of pool during aqua fitness."

AFII
We're like sardines here!

AFI
Don't let me stop you from moving out further

AFII
Um...I'll just stay here

INSTRUCTOR
(jumping in water
Okay ladies - it's time to rock

AF1
(looking around)
Rock, huh... Okay...let's rock. Should we snap our fingers, too?

AFII
You don't have to do anything with your fingers. It's all in the leg movement

AFI
Actually that was a joke - obviously a weak one. You know...rock'n'roll music... Snap your fingers?

INSTRUCTOR
'Okay - left jog...center jog...right jog. Now cross-country moving forward...now backward...'

AFI
Don't know about you but I'm having trouble moving backwards while cross-country-ing facing the right...

AFII
Do what you can

AFI
I can't see her legs. Can you see her legs?

AFII
You don't have to see her what she's doing. Just follow her instructions

AFI
Maybe it's me but I have to see in addition to hear. Why doesn't she do exercise outside the pool on the deck?

(female climbs stairs to leave pool)

INSTRUCTOR
(smiling)
'Hey - where you going? This class ain't over!'

EXITING LADY
I have an appointment...

INSTRUCTOR
'That's what they all say! You're gonna miss a lot!'

(everyone laughs)

AFI
Like...that is soooo embarrassing! I mean, maybe she really did have an appointment

AFII
Oh she's just kidding! She always acts like that1

AFI
I dunno...

INSTRUCTOR
'Okay now we're gonna work on our upper thighs...'

AFI
Maybe it's me but I can't for the life of me figure out what she means

(turning to person on other side)

(Cont'd.) Do you mind if I watch your feet? I mean, I don't want you to think I'm a pervert or anything. I just can't follow the instructor

(woman ignores her)

(Cont'd) Ohmygawd - I'm exhausted. Maybe I should stop here...don't wanna tire myself out or anything... Yup. That's what I'm gonna do...

(Aside to AFII): 'Nice aqua-ing with you. Maybe we'll aqua fit together again'

(AFI starts to climb pool stairs)

INSTRUCTOR
Hey - you there! You're leaving me too? They all leave me in the end

(everyone laughs)

AFI
(to herself)
Maybe there's a reason for that...

INSTRUCTOR
Did you say something?

AFI
Look - I have to pee. We have a choice here. If I stay as you want me to and continue exercising, you can use your imagination as to what might or could happen. So now you make the choice. Do I stay or go?

INSTRUCTOR
Don't let us stop you

AFI
Thought you'd see it my way. 'Bye all. Remember to always keep your head above water'

AFI exits

A change of location on vacation has caused a state of lethargy.

So I've been making like many a snowbird and spending the winter down south. The weather has been absolutely fabulous and we are bathed in sunshine every day. Logically, I should feel inspired to be creative but the change of venue has sapped my inspiration. At home there is always something, someone, somewhere that tweaks my creative juices. My most pressing problem here is what number sun screen is best and whether my flip-flops will last until the end.

The most inspiring moments have occurred while doing aqua fitness listening to some of the comments made by the participants. Complaints about aching body parts, discussions where to go for supper - these are important topics!

The wild life here is truly amazing and most likely will turn up in some form in my paintings. When it comes to playwriting, I'm drawing a blank.

So I'm waiting for my muse to give me a kick in the right place to get me on track again. If not - there's no place like home, Auntie Em.

My "Old Soldiers" are getting antsy waiting for direction. So is the playwright. Yesterday, the lead character, Joe Mckenna, let me know in no uncertain terms that a rebellion could be in the works.

"How much longer are you going to take to finish converting to a damned radio play, woman?" Joe demanded, as I envisioned him in various scenarios. "The others are on my back asking me to ask you to give them some direction."

I know, Joe! I know!

So it's almost March and crunch time for my work-in-progress, "Old Soldiers", in the hope of entering it in the BBC  International Radio Playwriting Competition. This realization hit me last night when looking up a TV program in the weekly guide and saw the date, along with a slight - so far - case of panic. Not too much time left to add content and make changes. Then there's always editing to be done, especially if it's a new play. This is the second time I'm focusing on coverting this into a radio production and actually enter the competition. This time last year the same thing occurred and I missed the deadline.

"So tell us Eleanor - where exactly are you at, now?"

Glad you asked. Read the play and like what I've written so far. That in itself is progress, however - hate those howevers - not much more has been added. Last night I added some dialogue but as I see it, the story line isn't 'sound-friendly.' I've changed the location Joe's apartment to a bar or pub but when you think about it, not much happens in a bar in the way of sound bites. The story line itself will progress to outside-the-bar scenes and I'm now deciding how many of the characters be used. Hate to create throw-away people for the mere sake of having more characters.

"Do you think you'll be able to make the deadline this time or will it be another 'well maybe next year'?"

Who knows. Perhaps sub-consciously I keep procrastinating since it's something in which I have no experience and pure guess work at best.

"But Eleanor - don't you think that radio plays are similar to stage plays?"

Somewhat but it's those sound effects that have me spooked. In plays one has the luxury of sight to help keep things moving, but radio depends on stimulating the listeners imagination. On a good day/night, perhaps I can manage writing three pages, following which I'm completely drained.

"Um...excuse the interruption, Eleanor, but we're waiting. We're not getting any younger, y'know!"

Neither am I, Joe! To be continued...hopefully.

SCENES FROM LIFE: A SHORT PLAYETTE
AT THE SUPERMARKET - THE CHERRY DILEMMA


PLACE: SUPERMARKET, PRODUCE AREA. FEMALE SHOPPER STUDIES SHOPPER PICKING OUT CHERRIES, TASTING THEM AS HE PLACES THEM IN A PLASTIC BAG

FEMALE SHOPPER
Like cherries, huh?

MALE CHERRY CHOOSER
Sorry?

FEMALE SHOPPER
I doubt that... So you really like cherries? Me too

MALE CHERRY CHOOSER
These are particularly good. Nice and firm..

(male shopper takes two and slowly eats them, spitting out cherry pit on ground)

FEMALE SHOPPER
You seem to take great care in choosing just the right one's

MALE CHERRY CHOOSER
Only choose those that are firm to the touch

FEMALE SHOPPER
I see that. And you determine that by squeezing them all, I guess?

MALE CHERRY CHOOSER
(eating another cherry and spitting pit on floor)
It's the only way

FEMALE SHOPPER
Aren't you worried that they're not washed or anything. You know - germs from people's hands

MALE CHERRY CHOOSER
I wipe them on my clothes before tasting them (tasting another cherry and spitting pit on floor)
Hmmmmmm...really good

FEMALE SHOPPER
Sweet are they?

MALE CHERRY CHOOSER
Uh-huh! Very! Here - try one! Look at the time - gotta run!

(MALE CHERRY CHOOSER TIES PLASTIC BAG AND RUSHES OFF. FEMALE SHOPPER IS IN CASH LINE UP BEHIND CHERRY CHOOSER. SUPERMARKET CHECK-OUT CASHIER WEIGHS CHERRIES)

CASHIER
These look good enough to eat!

FEMALE SHOPPER
Oh he knows!

(MALE CHERRY CHOOSER LOOKS EMBARRASSED)

(CONT'd) Before you punch in the numbers, perhaps you should add another dollar to the total

CASHIER
I'm sorry?

FEMALE SHOPPER
By my estimate, this cherry lover must have sampled at least a dozen or two cherries that I saw him eating before finding the perfect one's for his bag. So perhaps you should factor in those dozen in his bill?

CHERRY CHOOSER
I...was just...tasting them to... um...make sure they're good...

FEMALE SHOPPER
Of course you did. We all love cherries, but who pays for those that are sampled, huh? We do!

CHERRY CHOOSER
Well...um...

CASHIER
You do have a point...nobody has ever brought this up before... Perhaps I should call the manager

FEMALE SHOPPER
No need to do that.

(FEMALE SHOPPER PRODUCES CLEAR PLASTIC PRODUCE BAG WITH CHERRY PITS INSIDE AND HOLDS THEM UP)

CONT'D. FEMALE SHOPPER
Let's see here...I count two dozen cherry pits that I picked up off the floor

CHERRY PICKER
Hey! How d'ya know they're all mine!

FEMALE SHOPPER
I watched where you spit them out and picked them up with a plastic produce bag. I mean, really, it's quite disgusting

(mumbles emitted by shoppers in line waiting to pay)

SHOPPER IN LINE
"...e-eww! You actually picked up his pits? That is like, soooo disgusting!"

ANOTHER SHOPPER IN LINE
"...the guy was stealing cherries...that's disgusting"

(A HEATED DEBATE ENSUES AMONG THOSE LINED UP REGARDING THE CHERRY PICKER AND THE MORALITY OF TASTING CHERRIES)

CHERRY PICKER
(leaning over and speaking softly to the cashier)
Just tell me how much extra I owe you and lemme get outta here

CASHIER
Fifty cents and we're even

FEMALE SHOPPER
(opens another clear plastic produce bag)
Now about those grapes you were tasting...

HELLO? PLAYWRIGHT NEEDS TO KNOW!

I've been thinking. Almost half-way through January and still haven't heard anything one way or the other about my play submitted in mid October. This is sort-of disconcerting especially since I requested ackowldgement that they received the play sent by e-mail  attachment. I'm always worried whether the dialogue ends up all over the place and whether this is held against a playwright (me).

"Not again!" a theatre reader might say to her/himself or out loud while shaking their heads, "yet another playwright who doesn't use a decent playwriting program."

Really - I worry about this aspect but still can't seem to be motivated enough to go out and spend $500 on a program for this prurpose.

So to return to my angst - actually I'm always in a state of playwriting angst - there has been no news or updates or anything whatsoever from said theater. Rather than send them another personal e-mail, which most likely will atrophy in the in-box, I'll share a public appeal. Actually, I'll go out on a limb and say/write that this sentiment is shared by many other playwrights.

Dear blah-blah (name protected just in case),

Not sure if you remember since you probably receive umpteen plays from desperate playwrights like me who are hoping to have their plays produced before they die, but I sent you my play in the middle of October. Still don't know whether you received it and/or  if you even read it. If you did, you already know that it's well-written and a very funny play. I laugh every time I read it over just in case it requires tweaking. I'm big on tweaking.

As an aspiring playwright who has yet to have a play produced but always hopeful, the waiting period to learn whether our literary jewels will be shared with theatre goers is very difficult. Frequently, and I hope is not the case with your theatre, we never hear back, or when we do, its a rejection notice years later.

I'm sure you are occupied with other projects that require your attention but any type of personal note from you or your theater would suffice.

Yours truly in perturbation,

Eleanor