OLD SOLDIERS - for Memorial Day

 

OLD SOLDIERS DON'T DIE - THEY  FADE AWAY

 

 

 

In recognition of Memorial Day, the first few pages of "OLD SOLDIERS."

 



OLD SOLDIERS

 

THE TIME:

 THE PRESENT. MORNING.

 

SETTING:

 A PUB/BAR.

 

AT RISE:

SERVICE VETERAN, JOE MCKENNA, SITS AT A TABLE READING A NEWSPAPER, WHILE WAITING FOR HIS BUDDIES TO ARRIVE. A WHITE DOG LAYS ON THE FLOOR BY HIS FEET. BACKGROUND MUSIC SUPPLIED BY AN OLD JUKE BOX

 

JOE

(to himself)

Yup…yup…yup… The way things are goin’, won’t be long before we’re all gone. Poor old, Perce. Died alone without anyone there to see him on his way to the big battlefield in the sky. ‘Here’s to you, Perce! You’ll be missed for sure!’

 

                                    Lifts glass in the air and lowers it

 

‘Refill, Vince.’

JOE’S FRIEND, MIKE, DRESSED IN FULL UNIFORM JOINS HIM AT THE TABLE

 

MIKE

Freezing out there. Wind cuts like a knife. See you got a head start. Buying us a round?

 

JOE

You just got here and already trying to mooch a free drink?

MIKE

When it comes to mooching, bud, you got that covered and then some. When’s the last time you paid?

 

JOE

(pretends to take out imaginary book)
 

Lemme’ check my diary here…last Wednesday, three in the afternoon. You buying or not?

 

MIKE
 

Not. How come you’re not in full dress?

 

JOE

 

What for? I don’t need no uniform to remind myself what we went through

 

MIKE

 

Just don’t seem right, is all

 

JOE

Got it stored away in the back of the cupboard, along with a lot of mothballs. Anyway, the jacket buttons don’t close properly

 

MIKE
 

You reek bad, Joe! Obviously, you tried on the jacket. Smell sticks to your clothes

 

JOE

 

I’ll warn you in advance the next time I try it on. You buying, or what?

 

MIKE

 

Like I told you, not

JOE

You are a cheap bastard! I’m stuck paying, again. ‘Vince – two whiskeys’

 

MIKE

-         Joe here is paying by the way -

 

JOE

-         whatever. See you’re in full regalia.

 

MIKE

If I don’t wear it today, when then? Take it out once a year

 

                                    VINCE, the bartender, brings over drinks

 

VINCE

One of you guys forget to wash?

 

MIKE

 

Joe here uses moth balls to store his uniform

 

JOE

Why should I share it with the moths?

 

VINCE
 

No insult intended but you’re stinking up my bar. Wouldn’t hurt to go and air yourself out a bit. You paying cash, Joe, he asked hopefully

 

JOE

Put it on my tab. Mike here’s as cheap as they come. You’d think for a special occasion he’d spring for a round but noooo….  that would be asking too much for his old friend

 

VINCE
 

Nice if one of you would pay cash for a change. Joe - your tab goes back more than a year. Let’s see here …you owe me $1500.34. I’m feeling generous today so drop the thirty-four cents and make an even $1500

 

JOE

You’re all heart. Where d’ya expect me to find that kind of money on my service pension?

 

VINCE

At least give me something towards it. Anything! I have bills to pay, too, y’know

 

JOE

Next check. I’ll give you a couple of bucks. May have to give up some food items and my dog here will have to get used to eating just a few days a week…

 

VINCE

Why don’t you lay on the guilt a bit more. Listen - about your Daisy… You know I’ve never objected to you bringing her here. She’s a good dog and I like her a lot but as I said, dogs aren’t allowed in bars. I’ve closed my eyes up until now but there’s a new inspector and word has it that he goes by the letter of the law

 

JOE

She’s a service dog. Aren’t you girl?

 

                                    Daisy picks up her head responding to hearing her name

 

She goes where I go. Calms my nerves and watches out for me

 

MIKE

How old is she, anyway? Getting’ on in years

 

JOE

What’s the difference? She’s there when I need her

 

VINCE

She better be legally registered when or if the inspector comes ‘round

 

JOE

Don’t worry ‘bout my Daisy. I’ll just explain there’s extenuating circumstances

 

VINCE

Don’t say I didn’t warn you

 

JOE

Mac’s supposed to meet us here

 

MIKE

Seriously? The man doesn’t drive and uses a walker. How’s he getting here?

 

JOE

He wants to join us for Percy’s funeral

 

MIKE

Amazing. Never lets his condition stop him from doing anything. Sometimes I wonder how he gets around but he manages. Mind over matter I guess. It’s either that or give up and die. Mind you, sometimes when pain takes over, it don’t seem like such a bad idea

 

JOE

He just walked in. Poor guy can hardly move. ‘Over here, Mac!’

 

MIKE

None of us are peppy anymore, in case you hadn’t noticed. My glass is empty by the way

 

JOE

Yeah and? I bought last time

 

MIKE

So what. You owed me from all the rounds I bought before

 

JOE

It’s your turn, el cheapo!

 

MAC

(gasping to catch his breath)

Really…windy… out… there – and cold. Hope the wind… dies…down… for later. Hard to get around in this kind of weather, ‘specially with my walker. What times the funeral, anyway?

 

MIKE

You really planning to attend, Mac? Not trying to discourage you or anything but it’ll be hard pushing your walker on grass and that wind…

 

MAC

I’ll manage. Old Percy was one of the last few members of our group. He deserves our respect and he’d do the same for any of us. Can’t believe he’s gone… Really cold out

 

JOE

You look like an ice cube and your hands are blue. Why didn’t you wear gloves? How’d you get here, anyway?

 

MAC

By bus. Took me forty-five minutes if you don’t count standing at the bus stop waiting for twenty minutes. Damn busses never stick to their schedule

 

MIKE

You shouldn’t even be out in this cold. Didn’t the doctor warn you to stay home in extreme temperatures. This sure qualifies

 

JOE

What’s in the package?

 

MAC

Got a treat for Daisy

 

                                    MAC takes a bone out of a bag

 (cont’d. MAC) Found it in the trash in back of the supermarket on the way here. Look at it – a perfectly good bone with lots of meat. Probably even good enough for us to eat. You should see all the food they toss out there. Fruit and veggies with a couple of bruises and piles of bread. Cakes too!

 

                                    DAISY struggles to get up as MAC gives her the bone

 

MIKE

The dog eats better than we do. You… don’t take things from the trash…do you?

 

MAC

I personally don’t but what if I did? There are people in third world countries that wouldn’t think twice about eating it. ‘There you go Daisy. A perfectly good bone for you. Enjoy. ’Ouch…trouble standing up…back is out again. Stupid bus trip didn’t help none

 

JOE

Why didn’t you take a cab?

 

MAC

You hav’ta be kidding. Like I can afford a taxi? I’m here now so stop jabbering and order me something warm. No – make that hot. Gonna be freezing at the cemetery for sure. Not too many people will show up ‘specially at our age

 

MIKE

There ain’t that many at our age, left. We don’t get to choose the kind of weather t’get buried. Funeral’s called for noon. No uniform?

MAC

Can’t do up the buttons, hands shake that badly. At least I’m wearing my cap

 

 

  

"Retribution" - the play was read with positive feedback

As a playwright, the overall goal when crafting a play, is to create a scenario that will carry the story to an engaging conclusion. Once the story is completed, it is the hope of the playwright that the story will have legs so to speak and find the right home, in order to share the playwright's vision with the public.

It's always gratifying when one's aspirations are rewarded with the opportunity to realize this goal when actors bring the play to life.. On Thursday, August 7, "Retribution" had its first date with the public via Sundog Theatre's, "Summer Reading Series" and by all accounts having not been in attendance, it was well received.

In the way of background information, the one-act play was born in a writing forum as part of a playwriting challenge a number of years ago. The only stipulation was that the subject matter had to focus on revenge. Before embarking on all writing projects, I always start with two words, "what if..." Initially, "Retribution" began as a short 10-minute play called, "A Close Shave" focusing on a barber and a man receiving a shave. Over time and during the editing process, it took on a life of its own with an adaption of the story and taking a different angle. The play itself can best be described in the quotation, "revenge is a dish best served cold"  or this line from the synopsis: "After years of patiently waiting and planning for their paths to cross, she has an opportunity to exact revenge for a past crime committed by a former acquaintance that had gone unpunished."

In as far as reaction to the play is concerned, Sundog Theatre's Eric Petillo, Curator of New Works and Administrative Assistant, wrote of the actors reaction when reading the play that "they all raved about your play. They told me that it had taken them all by surprise when the script suddenly took a left turn. One of the audience members said that it was a cross between "Steel Magnolias" and a Quentin Tarantino revenge fantasy."

Ask me if I'm happy.

My story being compared to a Quentin Tarantino revenge fantasy AND 'Steel Magnolias', which is a favorite film, is some compliment! The only complaint was that it was difficult to visualize the graphic imagery accompanying the dialogue with the  reading of my stage directions, The overall conclusion was that the whole play would benefit more from a full-scale production. Agree whole-heartedly.

For the record and in case anyone reading this is interested, the play is ready for its debut and if Mr. Tarrantino is interested, my people can speak to your people...or something.

Arks to Go: The Flood II

by Eleanor Tylbor

SCENE: LIVING ROOM OF AN APARTMENT. LATE EVENING


ANGIE and her male friend(JOE) are sitting on a couch, caught up in an embrace. Her cell phone rings repeatedly.

ANGIE
Ignore it. Now where were we...

(cell phone stops ringing and is replaced by the ringing of her regular phone)

JOE
Shouldn't you answer? Sounds like it's important

ANGIE
Some people might think so but not me. So...now...where were we?

JOE
You know who it is?

ANGIE
I have a pretty good idea

JOE
Strikes me that whoever's calling you, is trying to get your attention

ANGIE
Ignore him. As I recall, you had your arm here...

JOE
'Him'?

ANGIE
That is to say, it's probably one those scam companies making me an offer I'll refuse

(both phones ring simultaneously)

JOE
I dunno, Angie. Sounds like someone really wants to speak with you. You better pick up one of them. Why don't I go get us a drink while you choose?

ANGIE
Honestly! I get crank calls all the time. Why should this be any different?

JOE
(getting up)
Answer the phone, Angie

(JOE leaves the room. ANGIE stares at the phones while they continue to ring)

JOE
(from the other room)
'Answer the phone already!'

ANGIE
Why...why did I get involved in this again? Hello?

NOAH
Guess who? Is this your cell phone I'm communicating on? I've been thinking of getting one msyelf...

ANGIE
 I'm going to end this conversation, now

NOAH
...I mean, it would definitely give us more manoeuvering room. We could travel around and still keep in touch with everyone.

ANGIE
We? I don't think so

NOAH
Okay. I get it. We'll only use your cell phone. Don't wanna squander resources

ANGIE
We are not partners, got that? Now if you excuse me, I'm otherwise occupied

NOAH
Seems like a nice enough guy

ANGIE
Say what?

NOAH
Dear, Angie, my special connections allow me a private view into people's lives not accessible to humans

ANGIE
What happened to my right to privacy? It's beyond chutzpah! This conversation is over

NOAH
Would it make a difference if I apologize? It's not like I ask to have this insight. Comes with the territory. It's all water under the bridge, anyway. Always wanted to say that. Oh my - I am witty today.

ANGIE
You mean, wit-less

NOAH
Just trying to inject humor in what would otherwise be a dismal and gloomy topic. We have important things to discuss like how are we going ensure that we have two representations of all living things on this planet

ANGIE
There is no "we"! I'm not working along side a peeping Tom or Noah as the case may be. Good bye!

(ANGIE turns off her cell phone. It rings again)

ANGIE (cont'd.)
'I'm not home, Noah!'

(JOE re-enters and looks around)

JOE
I thought I heard voices

ANGIE
Watching this stupid program on TV about this weirdo who thinks he's been appointed to save the world and tries to convince a woman to join him

JOE
Sounds interesting

ANGIE
Forget about it. Let's get back to what we were doing before, better

(CELL PHONE rings again)

JOE
Boy! You sure get a lot of calls!

ANGIE
It's always the wrong number. Gotta do something about that

(Knock on the door. ANGIE answers)

ANGIE (cont'd.)
You!

NOAH
Hope you don't mind me dropping by. I happened to be in the neighborhood

(pushes by ANGIE)

NOAH (cont'd.)
Hello! I've heard so much about you and at last we meet. I'm Angie's friend, Noah. Tell me...have you given much thought to all this rain we've been having?


TO BE CONTINUED...

The 'Old Soldiers' are in the final phase and saying their last goodbyes

Well it's about time, Joe McKenna and his soldier friends would comment, upon learning that the story is  winding down - or up depending on the way one views it. There's still plenty of time left before the BBC International Playwriting Competition deadline but given my propensity for procrastinating, I've been focusing my efforts on streamlining the dialogue and working on the plot line.

One of my concerns, other than sound effects, is using radio format but thanks to Google, found a site that supplied an example of how a radio script should be written. The script, as it is now, is written as a play but according to the site, there will have to be some changes.

Reading the lines over silently to myself, it seems to flow well but the story line may have to be lengthened to accommodate the radio format, which shortens the page count. Doesn't really change things since the ending will be that much more dramatic. Before submitting it, I'll actually read it out loud and time it.

The play content is a mix of drama mixed with humor to break up the tension. The quartet of Vets have been there, seen that and are at the point in their lives where they accept death as the final battle and the end to their painful physical decline. They cling to each other for moral support, commiserating life's 'downs' and celebrating their 'highs.'

In fact, somebody overheard the guys getting ready to say their final goodbyes at the local bar.

JOE
Well - it's almost over. Won't be long, now

MIKE
What's almost over? What are you babbling on about?

JOE
She's nearing the end

MAC
You mean -

JOE
- Yup

AL
Who told you?

JOE
If anybody knows what's going on, it's me. Take my word for it

MAC
She's been nearing the end how many times now?

JOE
This time it's serious. We better drink up, make our final toasts and get ready to say our goodbyes

AL
What's going to happen to us after "The End"?

JOE
With luck and some positive action taken on her part, we'll become famous and become household
names in the theatre world

MIKE
Hey! That ain't so bad!

JOE
Let's celebrate in honor of the final scene. Mike - didn't you say you were buying? 'Bartender - a round for me and my best friends, here'

JOE, MIKE, AL, MAC (together)
(holding up their glasses)
To the final scene!

Re-thinking about re-tooling and re-evaluating

Second-guessing is not a good idea, especially when dealing with an established story line. As shared here in this blog ad nauseum, I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to editing my plays. Actually, one play in particular ("you couldn't be referring to 'Old Soldiers' now, could you, Eleanor?") which could be but not necessarily so, depending on yet another read-through evaluation of the story line and dialogue flow.

The reason for this conclusion came as a result of a sleepless night and for whatever reason - it's better than counting sheep - started thinking about the characters in my various plays and whether they are believable. It's been my experience that the lack of sleep precipitates my old friend, creeping doubt, to make its presence known. The play, as anyone who has followed the saga of writing and finishing 'Old Soldiers' knows, has had many incarnations and updates. The uncertainty last night was that maybe the original story line, is in the end, the best one after all.

This conclusion was reached at two-thirty a.m. until four a.m. in the morning while staring up at the ceiling. That's when self-doubt works best providing visual images of the characters playing out their scenes. Questions arose to the surface as to the various re-writes and incarnations and the rationale behind making changes.

Issues like whether or not Daisy the dog character is relevant and is her inclusion necessary? What would happen if she was dropped? Given that the dog is featured in one scene only, does it play an integral part of the whole? More importantly, would Daisy be insulted?

"Why drop me?" Daisy would most likely ask if she could. "After everything that Joe and I have been through, together, over many years, my contribution is important."

In the first copy of the play, there was interesting verbal inter-action between Joe and a bus driver discussing the reason for Joe's trip. It was subsequently dropped in later re-writes but I'm toying with the idea of writing it in, again. My thoughts behind this is that perhaps it would provide more background information on the character.

When sleep finally took over, I was no further ahead than before other than the conclusion that this is a really good play - if it's ever really finished. Whether that feeling of not one more word can be added or deleted will ever be experienced.

And there-in lays the problem.

Old Soldiers - the short story - gets a reading

As anyone who has read this blog will attest, my quest to give my one-act play, "Old Soldiers" 'legs' so to speak, borders on the obsessive. There is something about the characters and the story line that has become part of my psyche and touched my soul. They have become as close to me like extended members of my family.

In the way of background information although I've probably shared this in a previous posting, the story line it is based on an interview with army veterans conducted a while back for my newspaper column, focusing on their Remembrance Day memories. Somehow, it caught my imagination and slowly developed into a short story, actually more towards a novelette.

Over the years it was tweaked and eventually put into cyber storage. The characters, though, wouldn't be forgotten, which led to the creation of the one-act play.

As a member of a small writer's group, we read our latest projects out loud for critique and comment, resulting in helpful feedback. Old Joe McKenna and his army buddies decided they wanted to come out of cyber storage and be heard. Who am I not to grant them the opportunity? The original story is dramatic with serious overtones, whereas in the play version the characters have been flushed out to make them individuals in their own right and to propel the story along.

In reading the story, it was so quiet you could have heard the proverbial pin drop. The characters were ready for their public debut and as line after line was recited, their story played out in my mind. Needless to say, Joe and his buddies were enthusiastically received and there were calls by everyone to extend it into a book. The listeners wanted more and there was a half-hour discussion and suggestions offered as to where the story line could go. In explaining that I was working on a play version, they also wanted to hear the play read out loud. I'm very superstitious in sharing in as far as my new plays are concerned although it is a valuable opportunity to gauge their reaction to the contents. We'll see.

Meanwhile, Joe and the guys have left the room, happy that they had a chance to be heard. It's the least I could do.

In submission mode...again

I'm in a submission, as in submitting one of my plays, state of mind.

As a Twitter-er or Tweeter or whatever it's called, came across a theatre that caught my attention. After reading the submission guidelines, decided my "Retribution" play might be a good fit.

Wrote this play a while ago and over time have tweaked it to the point where it's now "submission-ready", or at least in my opinion. A one-act play and a drama with a cast of three people, don't really know where the impetus for the idea behind the play came from. It definitely wrote itself and I was merely a means in which the words jumped on to the computer screen. Sometimes it just happens - that easy. It makes up for all the times that in spite of a concerted effort, a plot falls apart and the play is forever relegated to the "save for the future" file. Unforutnately, there are a number of these in this file.

Still haven't finished "Old Soldiers" (Eleanor holds her head down, shaking it sadly) in spite of choosing an ending. Perhaps my real psychological block is the decision to convert it to a radio play, a medium in which I'm not familiar. The dialogue, as I've shared here, is very strong as are the characters, but my concern is with the addition of sound-effects. Although the BBC stated on Facebook that there will be a competition this year, I'm still waiting for the announcement of a new deadline. Nothing like a deadline as an impetus.

In any case, it's been a while since submitting "Retribution" and maybe - just maybe - this time will be the right time.

Old Soldiers are calling me again...and again...

A few months ago - maybe longer - vowing to finish the Old Soldiers play to anyone reading this blog who has kept up with this continuing procrastination, I'm still no further ahead.

"This is not news, Eleanor!" you're probably saying or thinking to yourself.

The play, forever in the 'unifinished-but-almost-there-file', based on a short story written a while back, has a magical effect on my psyche and although it has frequently been put on hold, the old soldier "gang" is always present, calling me.

"So when are you finally going to give us some type of resolution?" the characters asks me regularly, just before falling asleep at night."We've been in limbo for years now."

Don't I know it!

The dilemma is deciding upon a plethora of endings and possibilities, and which one would be best suitable for dramatic impact. The characters themselves are well defined and no tinkering is necessary in this area.

"You've changed directions so often, we're all getting dizzy!"old Joe scolds me whenever I'm reading over added dialogue. "You have to make a decision and stick to it."

Easier said or written than actually accomplished. There are so many possible endings and the dilemma is choosing the right one. 'Right one' key words here.

Then there is the issue of writing for radio, a challenge in itself.

Radio requires sound effects to propel the story along and although my dialogue is strong (IMHO), not sure whether there is sufficient sound or action. When writing the dialogue, I hear the characters speak and envision their movements but the challenge is how to translate this into audible action.

In any case and for no other reason than to force myself to make a decision, I've decided to make a choice and live with it, good or bad. Since the next deadline would be next April (2013), there is time to work out the details. Maybe too much time in my case...

The angst of indecision!

Will provide regular updates as to my progress. Where and when have you read that before?

"Retribution" , one act play

This is my one and only one-act play. Submitted it to a few places to no avail but I think it's one of my best. Then again, I feel that way about most of my plays. My apologies about the spacing and non-play formatting.

It's a story focusing on patience.
“Revenge is an act of passion; vengeance of justice. Injuries are revenged; crimes are avenged.”      
(Samuel Johnson)

Sharing first two scenes. Comments always welcome and wanted. Listing the characters that are in these scenes.

 

                     RETRIBUTION

 

CAST OF CHARACTERS

 

Sue Ellen Parker, 34,    Manicurist

Lily, 37,               Owner of hair styling salon

Mrs. Clemens, 60’s       Salon client

 

 

THE TIME

 

The present

 

THE PLACE

 

Western U.S.A. during a mid-summer heat wave

 

SETTING: Interior of Lily's Hair’n’Things Styling Salon.

 

A manicurist's table in centre stage, accented with a small lamp. The table surface is covered with a white towel and a tray filled with colored nail varnish bottles. An empty barber chair is located directly opposite the manicure table. An old freezer sits on a dolly, at a door entrance/exit.

The interior layout of the salon is circa 1950's/1960's. There are two work stations against a wall on which hang two large mirrors. On another wall are two well-worn chairs with two chrome-colored, dome hair dryers attached. It is a salon that exhibits neglect and long past its prime.

An elderly woman sits under one of the dryers.

 

Manicurist/stylist, SUE ELLEN PARKER, wearing a light blue uniform is seated on a stool behind the manicure table. Her shoulder-length blond hair is tied back with a ribbon and she wears a uniform consisting of pants and a zippered top

 

The salon owner, LILY, dressed in a black micro-mini skirt and tight sleeveless blouse, enters, fanning herself with a magazine as she approaches Sue Ellen, who is examining bottles of nail varnish

 

RETRIBUTION

 

SCENE I

 LILY

(glancing at wrist watch)

It's gone five already and I'm willing to call it a day. This heat sucks the life out'ta me

 

SUE ELLEN

I still have to comb Mrs. Clemen’s hair and she'll want her nails done, like always. You'd think she had something special going on than a night in front of the TV

 

LILY

Kind’a reminds me of someone I know ‘cept she’s got a half-century on you 

 

SUE ELLEN

Don't start in on me again!

 

LILY

The lady’s old but what's your excuse?

 

MRS. CLEMENS, lady under the dryer, signals for someone to come over

 

     SUE ELLEN

(signaling to MRS. CLEMENS)

ASIDE TO MRS. CLEMENS: ‘Too hot, Mrs. Clemens? I’ll-make-it-cooler, o-kay?’

 

(cont’d.) Don’t know how anyone can stand being under there, anyway, in this heat. Course if we had air conditioning…

 

LILY

With the amount of customers we get, you're lucky I don't close up shop all together

 

SUE ELLEN

Maybe they'd come if you'd invest in central air

 

LILY

We’re back to that again?

SUE ELLEN

When you gonna move into this century, girl? Your hairdryers are older than electricity

 

LILY

Better think seriously ‘bout selling this place, before wasting money on extras like air. What’s with you, today?

 

SUE ELLEN

It’s the heat, is all. Forget I said anything

 

LILY

Sure it’s just the heat? Nothing you wanna talk about, maybe?

 

SUE ELLEN

Usual crap. Life in general and everything that goes with it. Nothing new

 

LILY

I’ll tell you what’s wrong. You need’a get out more. All work and no sex makes a person edgy. We’ll close up after you finish with your friend, there

 

SUE ELLEN

Aside to Mrs. Clemens: 'Coming Mrs. Clemens!'

 

(cont'd. SUE ELLEN) The sign in the front says we're open to six and we gotta respect that. Shoot! It’s so friggin’ hot!

 

LILY

Do yourself a favor. Go home and take a shower, preferably with someone else

 

SUE ELLEN

Talk about a one-track mind! I’ll rest after finishing Mrs. Clemens. Shouldn’t take long combing the dozen hairs on her head

 

LILY

No reason to stay open so lemme know when you’re done and I’ll come lock up

 

SUE ELLEN

How 'bout if I close for you, tonight? Nothing for me to do at home and I'd just as soon hang around here for a last minute client

 

LILY

Don't much like the idea of leaving you alone on a Friday night, 'specially with all them refinery workers hittin' the bars

 

SUE ELLEN

They don't bother me, none. It's the guys sitting across the table from me acting all genteel and polite-like, trying to cop a feel under the manicure table that bug me. I'm more than able to take care of myself and I don't mind hanging around.

 

LILY

Lemme think on it while I cool off outside

 

               LILY EXITS




 

SCENE II

 

           AT RISE: SUE ELLEN removes hair dryer and helps MRS.CLEMENS up
                             and into the styling chair

  

SUE ELLEN

You’re dry

 

MRS. CLEMENS

(feeling her scalp)

On fire, more likely

 

SUE ELLEN

The usual?

MRS. CLEMENS

How ‘bout an upsweep for a change. I’m tired of the same old, same old

 

SUE ELLEN

You know what they say – if it ain’t broke – don’t fix it

 

MRS. CLEMENS

Don’t get me wrong dear – I love the way you do my hair but a person needs to restart the engine now and then, if you get my drift. My friend Rosie? She went out and dyed her hair fire-engine red and it makes her look ten years younger. Okay, maybe five but at our age we need all the help we can get and you know what else?

 

SUE ELLEN

Turn your head to the right a bit. So what else did Rosie do?

 

MRS. CLEMENS

This is embarrassing to even say but…she found herself an m-a-n at a church social, of all places. A good looking young stud she tells me. Course her idea of young might be different from ours. How ‘bout adding a couple of blond streaks here on the side…

 

SUE ELLEN

How young?

 

MRS. CLEMENS

Doubt whether she even bothered to ask. She tells me that Hal - that’s what he goes by – is the 'be-all-and-end-all'.

 

SUE ELLEN

Does Hal have a second name? She could have him checked out

 

MRS. CLEMENS

You kidding? She don’t wanna know the truth!

 

SUE ELLEN

You think he’s lying?

MRS. CLEMENS

Could be one of them there con men tryin’ to bilk a stupid old woman out’ta money. Why else would a decent looking guy pay attention to an eighty year old woman with a face that looks like a dried up prune?

 

SUE ELLEN

(laughing)

Don’t hold back now. Tell me your real feelings

 

MRS. CLEMENS

Anyway, if he’s after money, he’s got a big surprise coming. She lives on the money her late husband left her and a small pension. Like they say, there’s no fool like an old fool. Ouch! Careful dear. You’re gonna pull out the last few hairs I have

SUE

Sorry. I hate it when a guy tries to take advantage of a woman. Nothing gets me madder. What’s even worse is when they get away with it!

 

MRS. CLEMENS

Rosie uses a walker to get around and now she’s gone bought herself a whole new wardrobe AND a mini skirt. She should be covering up instead of showing off them blue veins of hers!

 

SUE ELLEN

Some women will believe anything. I’m getting the feeling you don’t like the idea of her dating, period

 

MRS. CLEMENS

It’s not like I’m not happy for her or anything but she’s like a teenager in heat, struttin’ around wearing blue eye shadow and red lipstick. Not decent, a woman of her years

 

SUE ELLEN

(laughing)

Could be you’re a little jealous of your friend? Now that Rosie has red hair – well - Hal probably thinks she’s hot-to-trot

 

MRS. CLEMENS

Honey – sex is a memory for us and Rosie never was one to go in for that type of stuff. No – he’s probably after her money for sure. Now about some blond here and maybe some in front here…

SUE ELLEN

Some people hide from the truth all their lives. There – we’re finished! So?

 

               LILY ENTERS

 

                                                                        LILY

You have a last minute customer

 

SUE ELLEN

I thought you wanted to close up early?

 

LILY

I know but things have been so slow lately. Every dollar counts

 

               LILY EXITS

 

MRS. CLEMENS

What about my nails? Look at ‘em! All chipped and broken

 

SUE ELLEN

You heard Lily. I have another client

 

MRS. CLEMENS

I can’t go ‘round with these. A quick manicure won’t take long

SUE ELLEN

Tell you what, how ‘bout forgetting a manicure this week, and I’ll give you a special nail strengthener treatment, free, on your next appointment?

 

MRS. CLEMENS

Can’t be seen in public with these claws, honey. Make an old lady feel good?

 

SUE ELLEN

               
                               (examining MRS. CLEMENS nails)

They are in bad shape…

 

MRS. CLEMENS

Do it just for me this time. Please? I’ll make it worth your while

 

SUE ELLEN

It’s not the money, you know that… Damn! Never could say no to you

 

MRS. CLEMENS

You just made my day

 

SUE ELLEN

Been digging in the earth, again, huh? How many times have I told you t’go and hire somebody to take care of your garden?

 

MRS. CLEMENS

You think I’m gonna pay a stranger to come in and ruin all the good work I done over the years? Took me forever to get it lookin’ like it does and I ain’t gonna let nobody lay a finger on one flower. I don’t need help from nobody

 

SUE ELLEN

Everyone needs help at some point in their life. How’s that cat of yours?

 

MRS. CLEMENS

We just celebrated her fifteenth birthday, bless her. Lives better than a lot of people I know

SUE ELLEN

Still a beast at heart, though. In the end her real nature comes through - just like a lotta guys I know

 

MRS. CLEMENS

Ouch! Know what you’re missing? The love of a good man

 

SUE ELLEN

(laughing hard)

Oh yeah - just what I need right now. A male in my life to make me complete

 

MRS. CLEMENS

Don’t sneer at the idea, honey. Notice I said a good man. I was married three times and all of ‘em were fine samples of manhood

 

SUE ELLEN

You been a widow a long time?

 

MRS. CLEMENS

Widow hell, girl! Divorced ‘em all. I didn’t waitress all those years saving up my hard-earned cash for them to throw it away on poker and liquor. I’d marry again tomorrow if the right man came along but like they say, a good man is hard to find, but a hard man is good to find

SUE ELLEN

Judging by the males I’ve seen in these parts, I’ll stay single

 

MRS. CLEMENS

It ain’t good t’be distrustful at your age. Someone could walk through that door this very minute and steal your heart away. Happens all the time

 

SUE ELLEN

The man of my nightmares more likely

 

MRS. CLEMENS

So there was a special someone in your life? Anyone I know?

 

SUE ELLEN

Unlikely you’ve crossed paths with the creep

 

MRS. CLEMENS

He hurt you that bad?

 

SUE ELLEN

Now listen up – you have to wear gloves when you do dirty work or your nails will keep breaking. I keep telling my customers that the only way to keep nails proper is to keep them covered. Your hands deserve to be taken care of

MRS. CLEMENS

You’ve gone changed the topic on me!

 

SUE ELLEN

That I have

MRS. CLEMENS

When it comes to nail manicures you’re the best in these here parts but take it from someone who’s been there and seen a lot. Work ain’t everything. Don’t let life pass you by and end up old and wrinkled with nothing but memories to keep you going

 

SUE ELLEN

              

               Helps MRS. CLEMENS out of the chair

 

I got a lotta memories. That’s why I’m single. Pencil you in for next week, same time?

 

MRS. CLEMENS

Your personal life is none of my business but...

 

SUE ELLEN

You got that right. Don’t wanna rush you out but Lily is waiting

 

MRS. CLEMENS

Okay if we settle up next time? I swear, I’d forget my head if t’wern’t attached to my neck

 

SUE ELLEN

A lot of people forget things - or try to. No problem. Pay me next time

MRS. CLEMENS

Now you remember what I told you. Gotta keep an open mind and be ready when love enters the door