THE VISIT - a Christmas play-ette

Wrote this a while back but have done some editing and bringing it back for another round, being that it's almost Christmas.

 

THE VISIT

 

  CAST OF CHARACTERS:

 

Molly Rigby, 88, senior citizen

David Grey, 20-something reporter
Paul Seaton, camera man

 

SETTING:     Recreation hall of a senior's residence. A few seniors are dozing, some in wheelchairs, others are regular chairs.

AT RISE:       A reporter (DAVID) enters the room in preparation for an interview with MOLLY RIGBY, who claims to have communicated with whom she believes to be, Santa Claus

DAVID enters the room, taking notes and practicing his introduction

DAVID

"We're here at the Happy Hollows Seniors Home to interview resident, Molly Rigby, who claims to have been visited by old Saint Nick, himself. Come Christmas Eve, Molly has stated she will be leaving on an extended trip…”

 

                         PAUL enters, holding a TV camera

 

PAUL

So…what’s the story, here? I mean, it’s Christmas Eve! Couldn’t this one have waited?

 

DAVID

Hey – it’s not my decision! The brass wants us to do a holiday “feel-good” story and interview an old granny claiming to have met the real Santa Claus.

 

PAUL

Yeah and the tooth fairy is alive and well. Is she like…’all there’ if you get my drift?

 

DAVID

Who knows. It's one of those seniors sleeping over there.

 

DAVID approaches the trio, gently shaking each woman.

 

DAVID

Um…’scuse me… Misses… Ladies…Hello? Molly? Which one of you is Molly?

                          MOLLY stirs, sits upright

 

                                                                        MOLLY

Who wants t'know? That a TV camera? You’re another one of those TV wisenheimer news guys! Take a hike! I’m sleeping

                         

DAVID

Really – this will only take a few minutes. The world wants – needs - to know if it’s true!

 

MOLLY

Like I said – make like the wind and blow away

 

   MOLLY goes back to sleep. DAVID shakes her gently.

 

DAVID

Paul - this is the lucky lady we were discussing who’s met Santa

 

MOLLY

I was having such a nice dream ‘til your friend here came along and popped it. Me and Santa were dropping toys for good girls and boys - that wouldn't include youze two - from his sleigh

 

PAUL

Meet Dave Grey, Molly, the reporter that's made WGMZ the number one station in the market and a sucker for feel good stories

 

DAVE

I'm sure Molly doesn't care about those things

 

MOLLY

You're like all the others. You think I’m a little ‘cuckoo’ in the ‘woo-coo.’ Well I’m not, you know! Oh ‘ye of little faith!

 

DAVID

If you’ll stand next to me right over here and we’ll do the interview…

 

MOLLY

I know what I saw and no one’s gonna tell me diff’rent. Now lemme go back to sleep so’s I can be rested when he comes for me

 

DAVID

It’ll only take a few minutes and then we’ll be gone. Come on, Molly! It’s Christmas Eve! A time for miracles. Don’t you want to share your good fortune with everyone?

 

MOLLY

Think you're the first reporter to doubt me? I may be old and crotchety but I’m not crazy! Okay – go for it but only because you’ll be the last. Hey  - watch where you put that microphone.

 

DAVID

We’ll do the interview and then we’ll be outta your hair. Really

MOLLY

Better make it fast ‘cause I’m expecting my special visitor real soon now

 

PAUL

That would be a family member taking you home for Christmas?

 

MOLLY

I suppose you could call him that being that we’re very close friends now. He’ll be coming for me in a big, big sleigh that flies faster than the speed of light. We’re gonna go up, up and fly high in the sky. Just him and me and …

 

DAVID

(snickering)

This special ‘friend’ of yours… would he, like… be dressed all in red with a long white beard and wearing black shiny boots and white gloves?

 

MOLLY

Last time he was here, told me t’pack a couple of things for our long trip just the two of us is gonna take. and he'd be 'round to get me on Christmas Eve. Tonight is Christmas Eve, right?

 

PAUL

(laughing)

This… friend of yours, would he…like…have big white wings and wear a halo over his head or was he dressed in black and carry a big sickle…

 

DAVID

…don’t mind him. Thinks he’s funny. When did this… ‘friend’ first show up?

 

MOLLY

Can we sit down? I wanna save my strength for tonight. Yeah - he first dropped in ‘bout a month ago. ‘Why me?’ I asked him. ‘Why not you’, he says. Can’t argue with that logic…

 

DAVID

How'd you know he was the real one? I mean, there are a lot of people claiming to be Santa this time of year

 

MOLLY

…and y’know what else he said? ‘Molly - you never stopped believing in me.’ That’s what my friend told me., ‘Cause I believe!  

 

DAVID

How do you get in touch with him? 

MOLLY

I don’t get in touch with him, silly! He sends me messages

 

DAVID

How’d I know you were gonna say that?

 

MOLLY

Only I can receive his messages (points to head) – right here

PAUL

Oh fer… We’re wasting time. Let’s wrap up.

 

MOLLY

You think I’m crazy and hear voices, don’t you? I know-what- I-know! Wanna hear how we became friends? Last Christmas Eve at this very time, I sent him a letter asking if I could go along t’help deliver toys? I mean, being that I’m 88 years of  age, who knows if I’ll even be around next year so I told him in my letter that it was now or never

 

PAUL

This man…your friend answered your letter? Did it have a stamp and a post-mark?

 

MOLLY

Always with the questions – and doubts. You young people can’t accept that people can be nice to each other for no reason. I didn’t bother checking for a post mark. I don’t hav’ta because -

DAVID

- I know. You believe. You have to admit that there are a lot of phonies running cons at this time of the year

 

MOLLY

Oh ye of little faith, sonny boy! He never has asked me for anything. Not one cent! Wanna know how he introduced himself?

 

DAVID

By telephone and he asked you to make a donation to his toy campaign?

 

MOLLY

Found him sitting on the end of my bed, watching Seinfeld re-runs and laughing his head off. That old fart has a good sense of humor, y’know! Suppose he has to what with all the doubters he meets. I mean - you can imagine how shocked I was t’see a stranger watchin’ TV in my room. ‘

 

DAVID

He told you that he was Santa and you believed him?

 

MOLLY

You sound like all the rest and they doubted me, too. Why wouldn’t I?

 

DAVID

You hav’ta understand that it's not everyone who gets a visit from Santa in person

 

PAUL

We almost finished, here? I’d like to make it home to open gifts with my kids

 

MOLLY

Told me he was gonna take me away on his sleigh, t’stay with him...forever! Me! Molly Rigby, going t’ live with Santa Claus and his elves. I just couldn't believe it!

 

DAVID

Me neither. So, you took him up on his offer?

 

MOLLY

Are you serious? Wouldn't everyone?

 

DAVID

Are you're telling me that you went for a ride with…

 

MOLLY

…Santa Claus? You bet'cha your perfectly sprayed hair, I did

 

DAVID

(laughing)

And I suppose there were the reindeer parked on the roof, or maybe outside your bedroom window? How does an elderly lady – no disrespect intended – climb into a sleigh? I see you use a walker

 

MOLLY

Somehow  - and I don't know how he did it - I found myself floating in the air, right out of the window. It was one of those high tech sleighs with flashing lights…

 

DAVID

A…high…tech sleigh? Led by high tech reindeer too, I guess?

 

MOLLY

Now that I think about it - their antlers did look like antennas…and the sleigh had colored flashing lights all around

 

DAVID

And was this…Santa… on the - small-ish side with a big head, large black eyes and grey-ish white skin color?

 

MOLLY

Could be but then I'm color-blind. D’ya wanna meet him?

 

DAVID

Him – who? You mean, Santa? Why not? If nothing else it’ll make a good Christmas story and we can expose a holiday phony

 

MOLLY

Now you hav’ta promise me that you won’t try recording us leaving. Santa doesn’t like publicity or anything. He’s a very simple, private man

 

DAVID

Yeah…course…no recording… Right Paul?

 

MOLLY

Promise me you won’t!  Y’a gotta promise!

 

DAVID

I promise. Ready, Paul?

 

PAUL

We’re leaving? I’m ready when you are

 

DAVID

To capture the moment that Molly, here, leaves the rest home for the North Pole

 

PAUL

We’re getting nowhere fast, here

 

MOLLY

I never said he lived in the North Pole. He told me that everyone thinks he lives there but he really don’t. Too cold for him.

 

DAVID

So, will he be here soon, d’ya think? It’s getting late and I have a turkey with my name carved on a drumstick

 

MOLLY

Have patience - and believe!

 

                        Checks watch

 

Almost time…  any minute now and remember – no publicity and no recording. Hav’ta get ready… ‘Scuse me - move aside please

                         Shuffles along, picks up a small suitcase, placing   

                         it beneath a window. Stands at window, looking out

 

Should be here any second now…

                         Pushes away walker

 

Listen - d'ya hear that?

 

DAVID

Not really. I don't hear anything

 

MOLLY

That sound…he's coming! I see the sleigh up in the sky…'Hey Santa! I knew you'd come for me.’

 

DAVID

D’ya see anything or anyone, Paul?

 

MOLLY

‘They’re just two reporters from the local TV station who wanna meet you!’

 

DAVID

Just let the camera roll, Paul! Don’t stop…

 

MOLLY

(shaking her head sadly)

I’m very disappointed in you boys. Santa here feels that you're not ready for a visit from him. You gave your word you wouldn’t record and the first chance you get, you forgot all about your promise. It’s always the same

 

PAUL

Couldn't you just ask him to come over and say a few words on camera? Then we’ll leave - promise! He doesn’t even have to talk. We’ll just let the camera roll

 

MOLLY

Says he could but doesn’t want to. He’s telling me that we're gonna have t’leave ‘cause it's a long trip…

 

DAVID

Don’t you want people to see that Santa is real? I know I would

 

MOLLY

He says since it’s Christmas Eve and this being his last visit here for a while, he wants to shake your hand as an act of good faith

 

DAVID

He does? Of course but I don’t see him, anywhere.

 

MOLLY

He’s walking towards you, now. Standing right in front…

 

DAVID

(extending his arm)

…I still don’t see him…

 

                               DAVID jerks forward arms extended and attempts

                               to pull back from an invisible  force. MOLLY slowly floats

                               away, waving  

 

MOLLY

You won’t remember any of this, anyway. Nobody does. Remember – keep the faith! Bye…

 

DAVID

Molly just floated out of the window

 

PAUL

You started celebrating the holiday season, early?

 

DAVID

Tell me you didn't record any of it

 

PAUL

What are you talking about?

 

DAVID

But… she…just floated… away

DAVID looks around the room, rushes over to the window, picks up the walker

 

PAUL

Who’s this Molly person you were talking about? Like I said, there’s a nice, Christmas turkey waiting for my approval. Why are we here, anyway? If this isn’t the dumbest holiday story idea yet. The real Santa Claus – yeah – sure. What next? Interview Rudolph the red nose reindeer? I’m out’ta here. We’ll tell them back at the news room that everyone was sleeping and we couldn’t get the story

PAUL leaves followed by DAVID, who stops as if he hears                    something, glances at the window and exits

SANTA SLIMS DOWN: A STORY OF REBELLION AND COMPROMISE

By Eleanor Tylbor

CAST OF CHARACTERS:

 - SANTA CLAUS – the jolly, old elf himself

- MRS. CLAUS – Santa's faithful wife
- RUDOLPH AND THE REINDEER GANG

 

SCENE: SANTA'S WORKSHOP, TWO WEEKS BEFORE "THE" TRIP. SANTA IS CHECKING OVER HIS TOYS. A KNOCK ON THE DOOR  REVEALS REINDEER RUDOLPH, ACCOMPANIED BY DONNER AND BLITZEN BARGE WHO BARGE IN

 AT RISE: A MUCH MORE PLUMP THAN USUAL SANTA IS SITTING AT A TABLE, SNACKING ON COOKIES

 

SANTA
This is an expected surprise, boys. To what do I owe this visit?

 RUDOLPH

(moving antlers from side-to-side defiantly)
We're here to give you a message, Santa

 RUDOLPH

It’s about food

 SANTA

(eating one cookie after the other)
You want one of these cookies? Why didn’t you say so? Plenty enough to go ‘round

 RUDOLPH

Santa, there's something we really gotta tell you…

DONNER

- it's real important-like…

 BLITZEN

- major important

 RUDOLPH

(Turns around to talk to DONNER and BLITZEN)

 Is there an echo, here? Did you not make me, Rudolph, the spokes-deer? Maybe one of youse wants’ta take over?

 DONNER

You do a great job, Rudy. Super

 BLITZEN

You our main reindeer man!

 RUDOLPH

I mean, if one of youse guys can say it better…

 DONNER

No-no! You’re the best

 RUDOLPH

So lemme do the job! Shaking sleigh bells – everyone wants'ta be a star! Now where was I? Y’see Santa, we're worried!

 DONNER AND BLITZEN

Real worried! Uh-huh…

RUDOLPH
(whirling around)
Hello? D'ya mind?

                         SANTA, distracted, nibbles on a cookie while watching a train run around the

                         track

SANTA
Oh my-oh-my! I do love watching the train speed around the track. Um - what’s that? Worried? About what, boys? Now just look at this train go! The elves finished it this very morning

 RUDOLPH

How can I say this nicely…

 DONNER AND BLITZEN

Just tell him! You gotta!

RUDOLPH
(whirling around)
One more word from either of youse…

 DONNER/BLITZEN

Sor-ree! We're just trying to help…

 RUDOLPH

Well don't! You elected me head of the North Pole Reindeer Union so lemme do the job!

SANTA
What’s this all about, boys? Could someone tell me?

 RUDOLPH

I'm tryin' Santa, I'm really tryin’ if only these two big mouths would let me

BLITZEN

We promise we won't say another word, See? We’re zipping our mouths closed

 DONNER

Maybe one word - two at the most. Sorry…

RUDOLPH

It's about your - um - well… Your shape

 SANTA

(laughing)
My shape? I’m Santa! This is the way I've always looked

 RUDOLPH

It's…  well - very round

 SANTA

(laughing)
This is not news, Rudolph. Now if you'll excuse me…I’m very busy here…

 RUDOLPH

Much more than usual, Santa. Much… much… more

 SANTA

I’ve always looked like this. You know that! Everyone expects me to look like this

 RUDOLPH

It hurts me to hav'ta tell you this but as the official spokes-deer and according to the rules in the signed hoof agreement, paragraph three, section 9, I’m here to say that unless you lose weight, we ain't leaving the Pole

 DONNER

He's right. We can't pull a sleigh filled with toys AND you too

 SANTA

But-but…I look the same as I’ve always looked. What’s different?

                        Santa rushes over to a mirror and examines himself

 Maybe I did put on a few extra pounds here and there…and there… But you can't expect me to lose weight in such a short time. Christmas Eve is a week away

 RUDOLPH

D’ya know how hard it is to fly through the air, dragin' a full sleigh of toys and and a Santa who likes his cookies too much?

 OTHER REINDEER (PEERING IN AT WINDOW)

Hard..hard..Very hard

 DONNER

It’s a big pain in the back for sure!

 RUDOLPH

Did I ask for more opinions. Did I?

                         The reindeer dart away from the window

 Like I was sayin’… You gotta do something 'bout it, boss, or we're stayin' Pole-side this Christmas!

 SANTA

You - you can't do that! What will happen to all the children waiting for their gifts on Christmas Eve?

 RUDOLPH

Lissen boss, we gotta ‘tink of our health, too. Do I gotta remind you ‘bout last year and all the trouble gettin' the sleigh off the ground?  We seen you hittin' the hot chocolate and cookies in the middle of the night when Mother Claus was asleep! One week Santa. You got one week. You can do it

           Santa stands in shock as the three reindeer file out shaking their heads

 SANTA

(calling out)
Mother Claus! We have a major problem!

           MRS. CLAUS comes running in to the room

From now on they'll be no more hot chocolate or cookies for me!

 MRS. CLAUS

Did you say something about cookies, dear? I have a new batch ready for eating

 SANTA

The reindeer just told me I'm too heavy for them to pull. Imagine! Me, Santa, too heavy for my sleigh!

 MRS. CLAUS

But dear, Santa Claus is supposed to be…you know - large-ish

 SANTA

I just had a visit from three and they told me none of them will fly unless I get lighter

 MRS. CLAUS

But…it's only two weeks to Christmas Eve. Do you think it’s possible?

 SANTA

I have to! The children are depending on my visit

MRS. CLAUS

No more cookies, then. I'll just throw out the ones I just made…

 SANTA

Maybe we're too hasty - a few cookies can't hurt

 MRS. CLAUS

Now Santa – you have a responsibility to all the children around the world. Do you want to let them down?

SANTA

I'm just going outside to check on things

 MRS. CLAUS

What are you hiding behind your back, Santa? Come on – hand them over

                         SANTA hands over a handful of cookies

 Every time you get the urge for a cookie, think about the children!

SANTA

You're right, Mother. Do we still have that exer-cycle the reindeer gave me as a gift, last year?

 MRS. CLAUS

Of course! It's in the reindeer barn. The elves have been using it

 SANTA

Get the elves to bring it here right away. There's no time like the present to start and only a week to go…I hope I can do it…I have to do it!

 

                                                                 SCENE TWO

 SCENE:         SANTA IS EXERCISWING ON HIS EXER-CYCLE IN RED LONG-JOHNS 

 

SANTA

Whew! This isn't easy. Mother - bring me the scale!

 

                         MRS. CLAUS brings over a scale

 MRS. CLAUS

Oh dear. I do hope you've lost some weight!

                         SANTA gets on the scale attempting to see the weight but

                         can't see over his belly

 SANTA

So? What does it say?

 MRS. CLAUS

You've lost one pound, dear. Have you been doing some secret snacking?

SANTA

No… Really… Maybe one or two once in a while

                         RUDOLPH, DONNER AND BLITZEN ENTER

 RUDOLPH

We heard. Only one pound, Santa? One gift weighs more than that. Guess the boys and girls won't be receiving their gifts this year, right guys?

 DONNER AND BLITZEN

Still not enough.. Still not enough..

                         The reindeer exit, shaking their heads

 SANTA

What am I to do now? Just four more days… Maybe if I eat a cookie, I'll feel better..

 MRS. CLAUS

This is how you got to be this way in the first place! Now back on the exer-cycle, dear!

 

                                                            SCENE THREE

 SCENE:  THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS. A VISIBLY MORE SHAPELY SANTA CALLS IN THE REINDEER

 SANTA

So boys? Whad’ya think? Will it do?

 RUDOLPH

You do look less round. Whad'ya think boys?

BLITZEN

He looks leaner…I'll fly

 SANTA

I lost six whole pounds!

DONNER

I'm ready to go. There's something we forgot to tell you. There are a few things we'd like to have in the future – you know - to prepare us for the long trip?

 SANTA

Like what, boys?

 DONNER

We'd like a fancy meal before we leave. Grass and forest greens don't do it for us

 SANTA

I’m in favor of good healthy food and I myself lost my extra pounds eating lots of greens. What did you have in mind?

 BLITZEN

We’d like…all-dressed pizza!

 SANTA

Now Blitzen, you know that's definitely not the right type of food reindeers need to maintain a healthy weight. I know that there have been a lot of late-night pizza deliveries at the Pole lately but no more. I need you guys all nice and slim, too, for future trips. We can make some fun spinach smoothies and okra floats - healthy treats. Greens… Lots of Vitamin C…roughage…and from now on, they'll be a daily exercise program at the North Pole and I expect every reindeer to take part. I have you all to thank for my change

 DONNER

(aside to Rudolph, whistfully)
No… more… pizza deliveries?

 BLITZEN

(upset tone of voice)

Gee thanks Rudolph!

 DONNER

Yeah – thanks Rudy!

SANTA

I know you boys will like the changes. They’ll be mo more junk food in the workshop! You helped me lose some extra pounds and I'm thankful for your help. A healthy Santa is important if I'm going to do the job properly. Now, let's go deliver some gifts to good girls and boys! C'mon boys – it's time!

                         SANTA exits, accompanied by the reindeer

ASIDE TO MOTHER CLAUS: ‘We're leaving mother! Better have some cookies…I mean of course, veggies and fruit when we come back!’

 BLITZEN

Did anyone tell you that you have a big mouth, Rudolph?

 DONNER

…a big one…very big…

                         The reindeer exit

SANTA'S VOICE – OFFSTAGE

‘Now Dancer, now Prancer, Comet.and .Blitzen –up, up in the air we go!’ Rudolph? Is that you I hear complaining? You’ll get used to it! A healthy deer is a happy deer!'

 RUDOLPH

Yeah…happy… I’m so happy…

 MRS. CLAUS

Thank goodness everything turned out in the end.

                         A much slimmer Mrs. Claus stares at herself in a long mirror

 Didn't do me any harm, either. Merry Christmas, Santa! Merry Christmas reindeer!

©2003, Eleanor Tylbor