THE VISIT - a Christmas play-ette

Wrote this a while back but have done some editing and bringing it back for another round, being that it's almost Christmas.

 

THE VISIT

 

  CAST OF CHARACTERS:

 

Molly Rigby, 88, senior citizen

David Grey, 20-something reporter
Paul Seaton, camera man

 

SETTING:     Recreation hall of a senior's residence. A few seniors are dozing, some in wheelchairs, others are regular chairs.

AT RISE:       A reporter (DAVID) enters the room in preparation for an interview with MOLLY RIGBY, who claims to have communicated with whom she believes to be, Santa Claus

DAVID enters the room, taking notes and practicing his introduction

DAVID

"We're here at the Happy Hollows Seniors Home to interview resident, Molly Rigby, who claims to have been visited by old Saint Nick, himself. Come Christmas Eve, Molly has stated she will be leaving on an extended trip…”

 

                         PAUL enters, holding a TV camera

 

PAUL

So…what’s the story, here? I mean, it’s Christmas Eve! Couldn’t this one have waited?

 

DAVID

Hey – it’s not my decision! The brass wants us to do a holiday “feel-good” story and interview an old granny claiming to have met the real Santa Claus.

 

PAUL

Yeah and the tooth fairy is alive and well. Is she like…’all there’ if you get my drift?

 

DAVID

Who knows. It's one of those seniors sleeping over there.

 

DAVID approaches the trio, gently shaking each woman.

 

DAVID

Um…’scuse me… Misses… Ladies…Hello? Molly? Which one of you is Molly?

                          MOLLY stirs, sits upright

 

                                                                        MOLLY

Who wants t'know? That a TV camera? You’re another one of those TV wisenheimer news guys! Take a hike! I’m sleeping

                         

DAVID

Really – this will only take a few minutes. The world wants – needs - to know if it’s true!

 

MOLLY

Like I said – make like the wind and blow away

 

   MOLLY goes back to sleep. DAVID shakes her gently.

 

DAVID

Paul - this is the lucky lady we were discussing who’s met Santa

 

MOLLY

I was having such a nice dream ‘til your friend here came along and popped it. Me and Santa were dropping toys for good girls and boys - that wouldn't include youze two - from his sleigh

 

PAUL

Meet Dave Grey, Molly, the reporter that's made WGMZ the number one station in the market and a sucker for feel good stories

 

DAVE

I'm sure Molly doesn't care about those things

 

MOLLY

You're like all the others. You think I’m a little ‘cuckoo’ in the ‘woo-coo.’ Well I’m not, you know! Oh ‘ye of little faith!

 

DAVID

If you’ll stand next to me right over here and we’ll do the interview…

 

MOLLY

I know what I saw and no one’s gonna tell me diff’rent. Now lemme go back to sleep so’s I can be rested when he comes for me

 

DAVID

It’ll only take a few minutes and then we’ll be gone. Come on, Molly! It’s Christmas Eve! A time for miracles. Don’t you want to share your good fortune with everyone?

 

MOLLY

Think you're the first reporter to doubt me? I may be old and crotchety but I’m not crazy! Okay – go for it but only because you’ll be the last. Hey  - watch where you put that microphone.

 

DAVID

We’ll do the interview and then we’ll be outta your hair. Really

MOLLY

Better make it fast ‘cause I’m expecting my special visitor real soon now

 

PAUL

That would be a family member taking you home for Christmas?

 

MOLLY

I suppose you could call him that being that we’re very close friends now. He’ll be coming for me in a big, big sleigh that flies faster than the speed of light. We’re gonna go up, up and fly high in the sky. Just him and me and …

 

DAVID

(snickering)

This special ‘friend’ of yours… would he, like… be dressed all in red with a long white beard and wearing black shiny boots and white gloves?

 

MOLLY

Last time he was here, told me t’pack a couple of things for our long trip just the two of us is gonna take. and he'd be 'round to get me on Christmas Eve. Tonight is Christmas Eve, right?

 

PAUL

(laughing)

This… friend of yours, would he…like…have big white wings and wear a halo over his head or was he dressed in black and carry a big sickle…

 

DAVID

…don’t mind him. Thinks he’s funny. When did this… ‘friend’ first show up?

 

MOLLY

Can we sit down? I wanna save my strength for tonight. Yeah - he first dropped in ‘bout a month ago. ‘Why me?’ I asked him. ‘Why not you’, he says. Can’t argue with that logic…

 

DAVID

How'd you know he was the real one? I mean, there are a lot of people claiming to be Santa this time of year

 

MOLLY

…and y’know what else he said? ‘Molly - you never stopped believing in me.’ That’s what my friend told me., ‘Cause I believe!  

 

DAVID

How do you get in touch with him? 

MOLLY

I don’t get in touch with him, silly! He sends me messages

 

DAVID

How’d I know you were gonna say that?

 

MOLLY

Only I can receive his messages (points to head) – right here

PAUL

Oh fer… We’re wasting time. Let’s wrap up.

 

MOLLY

You think I’m crazy and hear voices, don’t you? I know-what- I-know! Wanna hear how we became friends? Last Christmas Eve at this very time, I sent him a letter asking if I could go along t’help deliver toys? I mean, being that I’m 88 years of  age, who knows if I’ll even be around next year so I told him in my letter that it was now or never

 

PAUL

This man…your friend answered your letter? Did it have a stamp and a post-mark?

 

MOLLY

Always with the questions – and doubts. You young people can’t accept that people can be nice to each other for no reason. I didn’t bother checking for a post mark. I don’t hav’ta because -

DAVID

- I know. You believe. You have to admit that there are a lot of phonies running cons at this time of the year

 

MOLLY

Oh ye of little faith, sonny boy! He never has asked me for anything. Not one cent! Wanna know how he introduced himself?

 

DAVID

By telephone and he asked you to make a donation to his toy campaign?

 

MOLLY

Found him sitting on the end of my bed, watching Seinfeld re-runs and laughing his head off. That old fart has a good sense of humor, y’know! Suppose he has to what with all the doubters he meets. I mean - you can imagine how shocked I was t’see a stranger watchin’ TV in my room. ‘

 

DAVID

He told you that he was Santa and you believed him?

 

MOLLY

You sound like all the rest and they doubted me, too. Why wouldn’t I?

 

DAVID

You hav’ta understand that it's not everyone who gets a visit from Santa in person

 

PAUL

We almost finished, here? I’d like to make it home to open gifts with my kids

 

MOLLY

Told me he was gonna take me away on his sleigh, t’stay with him...forever! Me! Molly Rigby, going t’ live with Santa Claus and his elves. I just couldn't believe it!

 

DAVID

Me neither. So, you took him up on his offer?

 

MOLLY

Are you serious? Wouldn't everyone?

 

DAVID

Are you're telling me that you went for a ride with…

 

MOLLY

…Santa Claus? You bet'cha your perfectly sprayed hair, I did

 

DAVID

(laughing)

And I suppose there were the reindeer parked on the roof, or maybe outside your bedroom window? How does an elderly lady – no disrespect intended – climb into a sleigh? I see you use a walker

 

MOLLY

Somehow  - and I don't know how he did it - I found myself floating in the air, right out of the window. It was one of those high tech sleighs with flashing lights…

 

DAVID

A…high…tech sleigh? Led by high tech reindeer too, I guess?

 

MOLLY

Now that I think about it - their antlers did look like antennas…and the sleigh had colored flashing lights all around

 

DAVID

And was this…Santa… on the - small-ish side with a big head, large black eyes and grey-ish white skin color?

 

MOLLY

Could be but then I'm color-blind. D’ya wanna meet him?

 

DAVID

Him – who? You mean, Santa? Why not? If nothing else it’ll make a good Christmas story and we can expose a holiday phony

 

MOLLY

Now you hav’ta promise me that you won’t try recording us leaving. Santa doesn’t like publicity or anything. He’s a very simple, private man

 

DAVID

Yeah…course…no recording… Right Paul?

 

MOLLY

Promise me you won’t!  Y’a gotta promise!

 

DAVID

I promise. Ready, Paul?

 

PAUL

We’re leaving? I’m ready when you are

 

DAVID

To capture the moment that Molly, here, leaves the rest home for the North Pole

 

PAUL

We’re getting nowhere fast, here

 

MOLLY

I never said he lived in the North Pole. He told me that everyone thinks he lives there but he really don’t. Too cold for him.

 

DAVID

So, will he be here soon, d’ya think? It’s getting late and I have a turkey with my name carved on a drumstick

 

MOLLY

Have patience - and believe!

 

                        Checks watch

 

Almost time…  any minute now and remember – no publicity and no recording. Hav’ta get ready… ‘Scuse me - move aside please

                         Shuffles along, picks up a small suitcase, placing   

                         it beneath a window. Stands at window, looking out

 

Should be here any second now…

                         Pushes away walker

 

Listen - d'ya hear that?

 

DAVID

Not really. I don't hear anything

 

MOLLY

That sound…he's coming! I see the sleigh up in the sky…'Hey Santa! I knew you'd come for me.’

 

DAVID

D’ya see anything or anyone, Paul?

 

MOLLY

‘They’re just two reporters from the local TV station who wanna meet you!’

 

DAVID

Just let the camera roll, Paul! Don’t stop…

 

MOLLY

(shaking her head sadly)

I’m very disappointed in you boys. Santa here feels that you're not ready for a visit from him. You gave your word you wouldn’t record and the first chance you get, you forgot all about your promise. It’s always the same

 

PAUL

Couldn't you just ask him to come over and say a few words on camera? Then we’ll leave - promise! He doesn’t even have to talk. We’ll just let the camera roll

 

MOLLY

Says he could but doesn’t want to. He’s telling me that we're gonna have t’leave ‘cause it's a long trip…

 

DAVID

Don’t you want people to see that Santa is real? I know I would

 

MOLLY

He says since it’s Christmas Eve and this being his last visit here for a while, he wants to shake your hand as an act of good faith

 

DAVID

He does? Of course but I don’t see him, anywhere.

 

MOLLY

He’s walking towards you, now. Standing right in front…

 

DAVID

(extending his arm)

…I still don’t see him…

 

                               DAVID jerks forward arms extended and attempts

                               to pull back from an invisible  force. MOLLY slowly floats

                               away, waving  

 

MOLLY

You won’t remember any of this, anyway. Nobody does. Remember – keep the faith! Bye…

 

DAVID

Molly just floated out of the window

 

PAUL

You started celebrating the holiday season, early?

 

DAVID

Tell me you didn't record any of it

 

PAUL

What are you talking about?

 

DAVID

But… she…just floated… away

DAVID looks around the room, rushes over to the window, picks up the walker

 

PAUL

Who’s this Molly person you were talking about? Like I said, there’s a nice, Christmas turkey waiting for my approval. Why are we here, anyway? If this isn’t the dumbest holiday story idea yet. The real Santa Claus – yeah – sure. What next? Interview Rudolph the red nose reindeer? I’m out’ta here. We’ll tell them back at the news room that everyone was sleeping and we couldn’t get the story

PAUL leaves followed by DAVID, who stops as if he hears                    something, glances at the window and exits

Scenes from Life: a Short Playette. Mr. and Mrs. Everybody search for the perfect parking space

  AT THE MALL

 

SCENE: PARKING LOT OF A LARGE, BUSY MALL. BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

AT RISE: MR. AND MRS. EVERYBODY SEARCH FOR A PARKING PLACE

 

MRS. EVERYBODY

Told you we should have left earlier. Now there’s wall-to-wall cars. We’re never going to find a spot

 

MR. EVERYBODY

Excuse me? Were you or were you not talking on the phone to Chloe for a good 45 minutes?

 

MRS. EVERYBODY

First of all – it wasn’t 45 minutes and second of all, we had important things to discuss

 

MR. EVERYBODY

Like what? Which stores have the best prices?

 

MRS. EVERYBODY

So? Those are important things. Don’t you want me to save you money?

 

MR. EVERYBODY

Come again? How do you figure that buying stuff saves me money?

 

MRS. EVERYBODY

Well, take today for example.  Everything in the mall, the entire mall mind you, is twenty-five percent off! This is a bigggg saving. If I hadn’t spoken to Chloe, I would never have know that. Listen – they’re playing Silver Bells now over outdoor speakers. Don’cha  just love that song? Puts you in a Christmas mood

 

MR. EVERYBODY

We’ve been going in circles for so long, I’m getting dizzy. You mean the “spend-spend-spend” songs

 

MRS. EVERYBODY

Try and get close to an entrance. You’re so cynical

 

MR. EVERYBODY

You’re fussy where you want to park? Beggars can’t be choosers

 

MRS. EVERYBODY

Let me put it another way. Try not to park a thousand feet away in no-mans-land. It’s cold out

 

MR. EVERYBODY

And let me make this perfectly clear. This car will turn in to wherever there’s an empty space

 

MRS. EVERYBODY

You could at make an effort to look

 

MR. EVERYBODY

And what am I doing now? As far as I can see, there are no empty parking spaces near a mall entrance, or anywhere else for that matter. Maybe we should just go home and forget about it…

 

MRS. EVERYBODY

Not! And miss the sale of the year? Okay. How about this. One more time around and then you can go park in Siberia like always

 

MR. EVERYBODY

One more time …here we go again…

 

MRS. EVERYBODY

Hang on! There’s a car pulling out. Quick – get over there or that guy is gonna grab it before us

 

MR. EVERYBODY

It’s in the next lane over. I’ll have to drive around to get thee and. I’ll never make it

 

MRS. EVERYBODY

Just put your foot on the gas and cut the car off! Simple!

 

MR. EVERYBODY

This is not the wild west and I have no intention of being part of a showdown. If we don’t get it – we don’t get it

 

MRS. EVERYBODY

Mr. Philosophical has spoken. Just…hurry! You’re not going fast enough! The other car is closing in from the other direction…

 

MR. EVERYBODY

You are obsessed and possessed – you do realize that, right?

 

MRS. EVERYBODY

We’re talking about a primo parking spot right near the front, no less! This is indeed our lucky day! You gotta be aggressive if you wanna grab a good place. Trust me. I know about these things.

 

MR. EVERYBODY

You and your knowledge of parking spaces wouldn’t happen to know anything about the nice scratch in the front right fender by any chance, would you?

 

MRS. EVERYBODY

I’m getting so forgetful these days. Meant to tell you about that. Y’see…last week, me and Chloe were here for the Fashion Flare Shop Going-Going-Gone Out of Business sale and there was a parking space and I was really sure this car could fit but unfortunately, I misjudged the size of the spot against the size of the fender and like…the fender somehow ended up sliding against a cement pillar that was in my way. Why they put pillars in the middle of parking lots is a mystery, anyway. Hurry – that other car is getting ready to turn in!

 

MR. EVERYBODY

Perhaps it’s a plot by the mall to get drivers like you to scratch your fenders against them and decorate the cement. They’re light standards, to light the way for evening shoppers like you and Chloe, FYI. Guess it matches the scratch on the left fender… Uh-oh both our cars are there at the same time. I’ll let the other car park. Doesn’t mean that much to me

 

MRS. EVERYBODY

You’re just giving in? Hold your ground for a few minutes. Show the other car we mean business!

 

MR. EVERYBODY

We’ll go to the back of the parking lot. Plenty of space there

 

MRS. EVERYBODY

But…I’ll have to walk!

 

MR. EVERYBODY

What’s this world coming to? You’ll have to walk a few extra feet. I mean, really…

 

MRS. EVERYBODY

Open the window and let me speak to the driver and explain the situation. I’m sure he’ll understand and let us park

 

MR. EVERYBODY

You’re not serious

 

MRS. EVERYBODY

I’m very convincing.

 

(MRS. EVERYBODY opens the door and talks to the driver of the other car)

 

MRS. EVERYBODY

‘Hello – it looks like we both want the same parking spot. Could I, as a fellow citizen of this planet, prevail upon you to allow us to have this precious parking spot? As you probably know, there is a twenty-five-percent off sale and I have been waiting to buy these divine shoes that have finally been reduced and gone on sale… What? Of course ... I see… Have a good day.’

 

MRS. EVERYBODY

(Cont’d.) Just drive.

 

MR. EVERYBODY

What happened to your convincing sales personality?

 

MRS. EVERYBODY

The woman sitting next to him has crutches. Broke her leg and ankle skiing so I couldn’t very well justify taking the spot given all the snow on the ground

 

MR. EVERYBODY

You're all heart. You do know what that means -

 

MRS. EVERYBODY

- Siberia here we come… Know what? I got a great idea. Why don’t you leave me off in front of an entrance – any entrance - and park? Or better still, drive around for an hour or so and when I’m finished, I’ll call you on my cell phone and you can pick me up? Isn’t that a good idea? It’s a win-win for both of us. Right here will do…see you later…

 

(MRS. EVERYBODY gets out of the car and heads for the mall entrance)

 

MR. EVERYBODY

(calling out of the car window)

Wait a minute! Hello? You have my cell! You forgot yours at home!