OLD SOLDIERS DON'T DIE - THEY FADE AWAY
In recognition of Memorial Day, the first few pages of "OLD SOLDIERS."
OLD SOLDIERS
THE TIME:
SETTING:
AT RISE:
SERVICE VETERAN, JOE MCKENNA, SITS AT A TABLE
READING A NEWSPAPER, WHILE WAITING FOR HIS BUDDIES TO ARRIVE. A WHITE DOG LAYS
ON THE FLOOR BY HIS FEET. BACKGROUND MUSIC SUPPLIED BY AN OLD JUKE BOX
JOE
(to himself)
Yup…yup…yup… The way things are goin’, won’t be long before we’re all gone. Poor old, Perce. Died alone without anyone there to see him on his way to the big battlefield in the sky. ‘Here’s to you, Perce! You’ll be missed for sure!’
Lifts glass in the air and lowers it
‘Refill, Vince.’
JOE’S FRIEND, MIKE, DRESSED IN FULL UNIFORM JOINS HIM AT THE TABLE
MIKE
Freezing out there.
Wind cuts like a knife. See you got a head start. Buying us a round?
JOE
You just got here and
already trying to mooch a free drink?
MIKE
When it comes to
mooching, bud, you got that covered and then some. When’s the last time you
paid?
JOE
(pretends to take out
imaginary book)
Lemme’ check my diary
here…last Wednesday, three in the afternoon. You buying or not?
MIKE
Not. How come you’re
not in full dress?
JOE
What for? I don’t need
no uniform to remind myself what we went through
MIKE
Just don’t seem right,
is all
JOE
Got it stored away in the back of the cupboard, along with a lot of mothballs. Anyway, the jacket buttons don’t close properly
MIKE
You reek bad, Joe!
Obviously, you tried on the jacket. Smell sticks to your clothes
JOE
I’ll warn you in
advance the next time I try it on. You buying, or what?
MIKE
Like I told you, not
JOE
You are a cheap bastard! I’m stuck paying, again. ‘Vince – two whiskeys’
MIKE
-
Joe here is paying by the way -
JOE
-
whatever. See you’re in full
regalia.
MIKE
If I don’t wear it
today, when then? Take it out once a year
VINCE, the bartender, brings over drinks
VINCE
One of you guys forget
to wash?
MIKE
Joe here uses moth
balls to store his uniform
JOE
Why should I share it
with the moths?
VINCE
No insult intended but
you’re stinking up my bar. Wouldn’t hurt to go and air yourself out a bit. You
paying cash, Joe, he asked hopefully
JOE
Put it on my tab. Mike
here’s as cheap as they come. You’d think for a special occasion he’d spring
for a round but noooo…. that would be
asking too much for his old friend
VINCE
Nice if one of you
would pay cash for a change. Joe - your tab goes back more than a year. Let’s
see here …you owe me $1500.34. I’m feeling generous today so drop the
thirty-four cents and make an even $1500
JOE
You’re all heart.
Where d’ya expect me to find that kind of money on my service pension?
VINCE
At least give me
something towards it. Anything! I have bills to pay, too, y’know
JOE
Next check. I’ll give
you a couple of bucks. May have to give up some food items and my dog here will
have to get used to eating just a few days a week…
VINCE
Why don’t you lay on
the guilt a bit more. Listen - about your Daisy… You know I’ve never objected
to you bringing her here. She’s a good dog and I like her a lot but as I said,
dogs aren’t allowed in bars. I’ve closed my eyes up until now but there’s a new
inspector and word has it that he goes by the letter of the law
JOE
She’s a service dog.
Aren’t you girl?
Daisy picks up her head responding to
hearing her name
She goes where I go.
Calms my nerves and watches out for me
MIKE
How old is she, anyway?
Getting’ on in years
JOE
What’s the difference?
She’s there when I need her
VINCE
She better be legally registered
when or if the inspector comes ‘round
JOE
Don’t worry ‘bout my
Daisy. I’ll just explain there’s extenuating circumstances
VINCE
Don’t say I didn’t
warn you
JOE
Mac’s supposed to meet
us here
MIKE
Seriously? The man
doesn’t drive and uses a walker. How’s he getting here?
JOE
He wants to join us
for Percy’s funeral
MIKE
Amazing. Never lets
his condition stop him from doing anything. Sometimes I wonder how he gets
around but he manages. Mind over matter I guess. It’s either that or give up
and die. Mind you, sometimes when pain takes over, it don’t seem like such a
bad idea
JOE
He just walked in. Poor
guy can hardly move. ‘Over here, Mac!’
MIKE
None of us are peppy
anymore, in case you hadn’t noticed. My glass is empty by the way
JOE
Yeah and? I bought last
time
MIKE
So what. You owed me from
all the rounds I bought before
JOE
It’s your turn, el
cheapo!
MAC
(gasping to catch his breath)
Really…windy… out…
there – and cold. Hope the wind… dies…down… for later. Hard to get around in
this kind of weather, ‘specially with my walker. What times the funeral,
anyway?
MIKE
You really planning to
attend, Mac? Not trying to discourage you or anything but it’ll be hard pushing
your walker on grass and that wind…
MAC
I’ll manage. Old Percy
was one of the last few members of our group. He deserves our respect and he’d
do the same for any of us. Can’t believe he’s gone… Really cold out
JOE
You look like an ice
cube and your hands are blue. Why didn’t you wear gloves? How’d you get here,
anyway?
MAC
By bus. Took me
forty-five minutes if you don’t count standing at the bus stop waiting for
twenty minutes. Damn busses never stick to their schedule
MIKE
You shouldn’t even be
out in this cold. Didn’t the doctor warn you to stay home in extreme
temperatures. This sure qualifies
JOE
What’s in the package?
MAC
Got a treat for Daisy
MAC takes a bone out of a bag
DAISY struggles to get up as MAC gives her
the bone
MIKE
The dog eats better
than we do. You… don’t take things from the trash…do you?
MAC
I personally don’t but
what if I did? There are people in third world countries that wouldn’t think
twice about eating it. ‘There you go Daisy. A perfectly good bone for you.
Enjoy. ’Ouch…trouble standing up…back is out again. Stupid bus trip didn’t help
none
JOE
Why didn’t you take a
cab?
MAC
You hav’ta be kidding.
Like I can afford a taxi? I’m here now so stop jabbering and order me something
warm. No – make that hot. Gonna be freezing at the cemetery for sure. Not too
many people will show up ‘specially at our age
MIKE
There ain’t that many
at our age, left. We don’t get to choose the kind of weather t’get buried. Funeral’s
called for noon. No uniform?
MAC
Can’t do up the
buttons, hands shake that badly. At least I’m wearing my cap
