SCENES FROM REAL LIFE

A SHORT PLAYETTE: THE COFFEE CUP


SCENE: WELL-KNOWN COFFEE SHOP/CHAIN. MAN RETURNS WITH TWO MUGS, ONE FILLED WITH COFFEE AND THE OTHER WITH BOILED WATER FOR TEA


MAN
(placing mug on table)
Here's your boiled water


(woman peers into cup and stares for 5 seconds)


MAN
Aren't you going to drop in your teabag? The water's gonna get cold and you know how you are about water being boiling hot


WOMAN
I have a problem here

MAN
Now what? The water's luke warm, I suppose?


WOMAN
Nope. The water is dirty


MAN
You're kidding! Dirty as in...


WOMAN
Look inside. There are black thingies floating around


(man lifts mug and peers inside)


WOMAN
...and the rim of the mug is dirty. What do they use to wash their dishes? A cat's tongue?


MAN
You're right - there are thingies floating around. You go bring it to their attention. It's your water


(there is a small line-up of people waiting to be served. Woman waits at end of line holding mug of water. Female/customer in front turns around looks at mug and then at woman)


WOMAN
Dirty water. Horrible


CUSTOMER
Oh.. That's too bad...


WOMAN
Yes it it and look - thingies floating inside


CUSTOMER
(peering into mug)
Yup - I see them, too. Look - why don't you move in front of me. You should be first since you were already served


WOMAN
Thank you. That's very considerate. It's just so...blechy to get a dirty mug.


CUSTOMER
Why don't you ask them for a paper cup, instead?


WOMAN
That's okay for coffee but for tea, one must have a china mug


CUSTOMER
It's your turn now... give him hell!

WOMAN
(to person serving coffee)
This water has thingies floating around in it and the mug is dirty. Check it for yourself.


CUSTOMER
She's right, y'know. Check it out! Really - you guys should make a better effort to wash your cups better


(SERVER TAKES MUG FROM WOMAN, LOOKS INSIDE, THROWS HER A DIRTY LOOK, EMPTIES WATER AND RE-FILLS MUG. WOMAN TAKES IT FROM SERVER AND CHECKS WATER AND MUG)


WOMAN
This looks okay but I'll have to take it back and look under the light


SERVER
Dishwasher is broken


WOMAN
Then don't use china mugs! I mean, really... If you had told me in advance, I would have settled for coffee today and used a paper cup


SERVER
Of course. You're right. The customer is always right. I should have known better... Your mug of water is clear now and there are a lot of people waiting to be served


WOMAN
(turning to people in line)
'Their dishwasher is broken! Stick to paper cups!'


WOMAN
(aside to server)
Have a great day. Tea in paper cups - what next...