THE LINE UP
©BY ELEANOR TYLBOR
SCENE: An apartment parking lot. A female stands in front of parking spots, hands on hips. Her expression is one of deep contemplation and thought. A car pulls up and parks beside her.
FEMALE DRIVER
Hi there! Car won't start?
FEMALE CAR WATCHER (FCW)
Y'know - it's really upsetting
FEMALE DRIVER
Know where you're coming from. So upsetting when your car won't start especially when you have somewhere to be
FCW
My car is fine. It's about those lines
(FEMALE DRIVER gets out of car and stands next to FEMALE CAR WATCHER)
FEMALE DRIVER
Sorry?
FCW
The parking lines. It's just not right
FEMALE DRIVER
(staring and studying parking lines)
Are they crooked? I mean, sometimes it must be hard to get them 100% straight...
FCW
Not that. What's wrong with those lines?
FEMALE DRIVER
They look okay to me...nice and straight...evenly spaced and all...
FCW
It's the color
(silence for 10 seconds as they both stare at the empty parking space lines)
FEMALE DRIVER
Yellow
FCW
Yellow! That's the problem!
FEMALE DRIVER
Can't say I've given the color of parking lines much thought lately
FCW
Bright canary yellow! They just...stand out!
FEMALE DRIVER
Aren't they supposed to? I mean, they're there to show people where to park their car
FCW
Do they have to be so bright?
FEMALE DRIVER
They just painted them a couple of days ago. Give them time and they'll get lighter
FCW
Why couldn't they have used white? White is unobtrusive
FEMALE DRIVER
(smiling)
Well - um - I would guess that somebody probably had a deal with a street paint company or perhaps there was some left over from the last time the lines were painted...
FCW
...we all know where to park our cars! They didn't have to use that color! Did you also notice that they made the lines wider, too?
FEMALE DRIVER
(looking down at lines)
You're right. Then again, we all aren't getting any younger! Bigger can be better
FCW
Everywhere! Yellow...yellow...yellow and more yellow lines.
FEMALE DRIVER
To be honest, I'm kind of partial to yellow. Honestly? Doesn't bother me
FCW
Oh... I see... Well I guess you won't be signing my petition to get the lines re-painted white, then
FEMALE DRIVER
Seriously? I mean, if it bothers you that much...
FCW
...well - I'll be off then. Some of us take the color of our parking lines seriously
(FCW turns on her heel upon spotting a male parking his car, leaving FEMALE DRIVER smiling and shaking her head)
FCW
(aside to driver getting out of car)
'Hello there! That's some beautiful car you're driving. there! Jaguar isn't it? What do you think of the color of the parking lines? So tacky, don't you think?'
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