SCENES FROM LIFE: A SHORT PLAYETTE

CHRISTMAS AT THE HAIRDRESSER

SCENE: A SMALL HAIR SALON. A FEW DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS. PEOPLE ARE SEATED ON CHAIRS WAITING FOR THEIR TURN. THE SOUND OF HAIR DRYERS OBLITERATES THE SOUND OF THE TV SET. CLIENT ENTERS WITH A SMALL GIFT BAG IN HAND


CLIENT 1

‘Hello all! Busy, busy, today, aren’t we?’


(Hair stylists turn to look at her as she passes, nod. CLIENT approaches PEGGY, hair stylist, who is absorbed in conversation with another female, LATE CLIENT)


PEGGY

I really can’t do streaks today. I’m sorry but you’re over an hour late and look – my customer is here already


(PEGGY turns to CLIENT 1as does the late client)


CLIENT 1

Um...yes. I’m here for my appointment


PEGGY

See? She’s here on time!



(LATE CLIENT stares at PEGGY and then at CLIENT 1)


LATE CLIENT

But...when am I gonna get my hair done? Look – it’s a disaster!


PEGGY

Like I told you – you’re here an hour late. I tried to call you...


LATE CLIENT

...like I told you – I moved so that’s why you couldn’t reach me


PEGGY

Uh-huh... Well, that still doesn’t change anything. There is absolutely no way I can do your streaks today...or tomorrow



(LATE CLIENT moves close to PEGGY to discuss it further)



PEGGY

...no – it’s impossible....really I can’t...it’s not fair to my client...



CLIENT 1

Yes – it’s not fair to me! I have things to do – places to go...


LATE CLIENT

I’m sorry I’m late but I had to get here from the city by bus and...that’s why I’m late. Like I said – I moved. Guess I’ll have to wait


CLIENT 1

Your hair doesn’t look that bad


LATE CLIENT

Not to worry. I’ll just trim the front myself


PEGGY

No!!! Don’t do that! Look – sit down and I’ll at least cut your bangs (turning to CLIENT 1) ‘It’ll only take a couple of minutes’


LATE CLIENT

...traffic was bad – you know, Christmas and all...


PEGGY
(distracted)

...uh-huh... There.


(rolls chair back and starts to help LATE CLIENT out)


PEGGY (cont’d)

Call me. Okay? I’m sorry but you were late...


(PEGGY kisses LATE CLIENT on either cheek. LATE CLIENT leaves looking forlorn)


PEGGY

Why do I have to feel guilty, huh? Why?


MARY (other hair stylist)

She was friggin’ late! Not your fault!


CLIENT 1
(sitting down in chair)

If you would have done her hair now, all your other clients would have had to wait, including me


PEGGY

She tells me she moved but I called her before and got her answering machine. Does a person who moved still keep an answering machine on?


CLIENT 1

Perhaps...I mean, of course not! She was making excuses, probably


PEGGY

(picking up appointment book full of written appointments)

I mean, look! I’m full up for today AND tomorrow! Why am I felling guilty!


MARY

You shouldn’t! Feeling sick...


PEGGY

Take tea or something


MARY

(opening box of cough drops and taking one)


PEGGY

You shouldn’t take so many. They’ll upset your stomach


CLIENT 1

How often does the box say you can taken them?


MARY
(reading side of box)

‘...take as needed...’ (pops one into her mouth) Anyway, my doctor says they’re useless


CLIENT 1

So why take them?


PEGGY

They’re probably just candy, anyway


(phone rings)


MARY

Friggin phone! ‘Shut up!’ Never stops!



PEGGY

That’s why they pay us the big bucks, honey! To do clients hair


(PETER, male stylist stomps by, grabbing towel for hair)


PETER

Same shit – different smell...!


CLIENT 1

Oh I like that – never quite heard it expressed that way

MARY

I told him that!



PETER

Whatever...okay – you told me that...


CLIENT 1

Oh – almost forgot to give you this


(hands PEGGY small red bag)


CLIENT 1

‘Merry Christmas’! Figured rather than get you something you probably have a million of at home, a gift card is more practical


PEGGY

Oh you shouldn’t...it’s not necessary...but thank you. You’re right. This is the perfect gift


CLIENT1

BTW – we’re going lighter today


PEGGY

You don’t want streaks, right?


CLIENT1

No worry – no streaks


PEGGY

Good because streaks are out of the question. Gee – I hope my client got home okay...I mean, she’s not young or anything


CLIENT1

I’m sure she did


PEGGY

You think so? What happens if she really moved into town and she has to wait for busses and...


MARY

She has an answering machine, remember?


PEGGY

Oh yeah! Forgot about that. Anyway, two more days and I won’t have to think about streaks, or cuts, or blow-dry.


(phone rings – PEGGY answers)

‘No – like I told you an hour ago – I can’t do your streaks! Really... Where can I get in touch with you in case I have a few cancellations? That’s your old number isn't it? Didn’t you tell me you moved?’

SCENES FROM LIFE: A SHORT PLAYETTE
AT THE HAIRDRESSER: PART 2

SCENE: SMALL HAIR STYLING SALON WITH THREE STYLISTS. FEMALE CLIENT ENTERS SALON


CLIENT
Hi all!

HAIR STYLIST (PEGGY)
You’re early. My 12:30 that was supposed to be here before you is late, but that’s okay. I’ll dye your hair, meanwhile

CLIENT
Cold! I’m frozen. Now I know what a popsicle feels like

PEGGY
You walked here?

CLIENT
Can you tell? I’m wearing a hat, which I absolutely hate, tights under pants, a heavy sweater and a scarf. To top it off, my fingers were so cold and I hadda go buy a cheapie pair of gloves to put inside these old gloves that are finished. My hands feel like the Incredible Hulk. My cheeks burn...

PEGGY
(distracted...looking out of salon front window on to the parking lot)
...what’s going on there?

CLIENT
Oh nothing much. Somebody drove their car into the snow bank. As I was saying, it’s really freezing...

PEGGY
OhmyGawd! I see the car. Wow!

CLIENT
Moving right along... Yup – there are big chunks of the front fender everywhere. Gonna cost big bucks for sure

(PEGGY places plastic cape around client’s shoulders, still staring out of window)

PEGGY
How’d that happen?

CLIENT
Hard to tell. To me, it looks like she was trying to avoid hitting a car that was entering the parking lot and had to swerve...

(a male client enters and sits in chair. STAVROS, men’s stylist, puts cape around him)

MALE CLIENT
Big accident...big...

STAVROS
Uh-huh. Gonna cost a lot to fix that baby

MALE CLIENT
Woman driver of course

(the two men laugh/cackle)

CLIENT
Actually, I saw another car involved and I think it’s a male driver

STAVROS
Yeah but the female probably caused it

(STAVROS and male client laugh)

PEGGY
(straining to see out of the window from her position, standing on tip-toe)
Hey – maybe that’s my customer and that’s why she’s late! Did you get a look at the driver of the car?

CLIENT
Couldn’t miss her. She was pacing back and forth, talking to some people about the accident.

PEGGY
What she look like? Did she have blond streaked hair?

CLIENT
I think so...yeah...she did

PEGGY
I bet that’s her!

CLIENT
Is your client slim? The woman is slim

PEGGY
No...she’s kind’a plump. I’m sure that has’ta be her! Mary – go out and check to see if it’s her!

(MARY, another stylist, is sitting in her chair reading a magazine)

MARY
I’m busy here and besides, it’s too cold

PEGGY
But it could be my customer. It’s gonna screw up all my appointments for tomorrow if it’s her

CLIENT
Yeah Mary – go see if it’s her and if so, tell her she's late and Peggy is waiting for her

PEGGY
Wait a minute – didn’t you say the woman driver was slim?

CLIENT
Uh-huh

PEGGY
Then it’s not her so where is my 12:30?

MALE CLIENT
The driver must’a missed the exit and drove into the snow bank. It’s an older Mercedes and those parts are expensive. Wait ‘til her husband finds out

(MALE CLIENT AND STAVROS LAUGH/CACKLE)

PEGGY
(returns from mixing color in back room. Stares out of window while stirring dye in bowl)
Hmmm...still, maybe my client lost weight and it’s her...

STAVROS
Gonna be tricky to tow the car outta the snow bank.

MALE CLIENT
Yeah but from what I saw, the whole front end of the car is finit-o anyway

PEGGY
Poor lady...

CLIENT
Um...Peggy? We put the dye on my hair, not on my forehead?

PEGGY
Oh...sorry...so busy checking the accident... I mean, what do I say if it’s her? ‘Too bad about your car?’

MARY
I doubt whether she’d keep the appointment, anyway

PEGGY
Probably not under the circumstances. Maybe I should go out and – you know – offer her a coffee or something

MARY
You don’t even know who that is! Anyway, you just wanna know how it happened

PEGGY
Well I would know if you’d go out and check...!

MARY
Alright already! I’ll go but if I catch pneumonia...

(to be continued...)

SCENES FROM REAL LIFE
A SHORT PLAY-ETTE: "HAIRDRESSER"

SCENE: HAIRDRESSER SALON. IT'S A UNI-SEX SALON SERVING BOTH FEMALE AND MALES. A FEMALE CLIENT IS SITTING IN THE CHAIR AS A STYLIST BLOWS HER HAIR DRY. THE STAFF IS OF GREEK HERITAGE


CLIENT
Hi there! Know I'm early.

HAIRDRESSER
Hi sweetie. Be with you soon.

CLIENT
D'ya want me to waste time until you take me? I can wander around the pharmacy next door. Need a few things anyway...how long should I take? Five minutes?

HAIRDRESSER
Make it 10 - no 20...

CLIENT
Sure. Can't stay there longer, though. Last time I was getting some wierd looks like I was a prospective shop lifter.

(female client returns 10 minutes later)

HAIRDRESSER
Another five minutes, okay sweetie?

CLIENT
Fine. Quiet today, huh?

PETER (MALE STYLIST)
Been quiet all week

CLIENT
People aren't making appointments for the holidays?

PETER
(glumly)
Very quiet...

HAIRDRESSER
Okay sweetie. Come sit in the chair. I'm ready for you, now.

CLIENT
Same color like always

HAIRDRESSER
Eyebrows too?

CLIENT
Yup

HAIRDRESSER
I don't know why you want to dye them. There's hardly anything there.

CLIENT
(chuckling)
Geez - thanks. You sure know how to make a customer feel good!

HAIRDRESSER
I meant, of course, that you hardly have any grey in your eyebrows

CLIENT
True...but sometimes a few sneak through

HAIRDRESSER
You could just pluck them

CLIENT
Much easier to color them and besides, I end up taking off chunks of skin with the hairs. Nothing like walking around with red scabs on your eyebrows

(CLIENT is sitting in chair, reading magazine with hair covered in dye)

HAIRDRESSER
Haven't had a full cigarette all day

CUSTOMER
Healthier for you. Progress - the magazines are up to the year 2009 now.

HAIRDRESSER
I'll be back. Need some nicotine in my blood

(Hairdresser leaves salon to smoke. Stella, another hairdresser, sits in chair next to customer. Other hairdresser returns from her nicotine break and cuts the hair of a male customer)

STELLA
Did you notice how thin blank-blank (name of hairdresser) is?

CLIENT
She's lost a lot of weight... 'Hey blank-blank (HD) - how come you lost so much weight?'

HAIRDRESSER
I dunno. Nerves I guess - and hard work. Been busy and sometimes I skip meals

CLIENT
Not a healthy practice. Wow - I never saw you so skinny. Sure you're okay? I mean, no health problems?

STELLA
She's too thin! She should gain some weight!

HAIRDRESSER
I eat healthy, that's why I'm slim - not skinny! Don't eat junk food

STELLA
(who is on the plump side)
Me neither - and look at me! It's just not fair! I watch what I eat and even work out 5 days at the gym and still I don't lose a pound! Some people are soooo lucky!

CLIENT
Why don't you try writing down everything you eat for a day or two? Maybe you don't even realize. You have to watch portion size

STELLA
I do, I do! Look at me! It's just so unfair! Blah-blah on the other hand is too skinny, don'chu think? She doesn't have a bum anymore or boobs

HAIRDRESSER
Are you two talking about me?

CLIENT
We're discussing your weight loss, girl!

STELLA
You gotta gain weight! Really!

CLIENT
Where is Stavros (salon owner)?

STELLA
He went to Ikea to buy a stand so we can make real coffee. Send a man to get something and he takes hours to make a choice. Who knows what he'll come back with

CLIENT
(looking around)
I don't see a coffee maker, here. Since when did you get one?

STELLA
He's hiding it downstairs. I found it by accident

CLIENT
Why is he hiding it?

STELLA
Who knows. These days you gotta make your customers feel welcome, like they're somebodys. You know, 'have a coffee'

CLIENT
Yeah...I suppose, mind you, I like tea myself...

(STAVROS walks in holding long, narrow package. Everyone gathers round and they place what looks like a plank of wood against the space alloted for the planned coffee maker, to measure the width of the shelf or whatever)

STELLA
(in Greek, but it's obvious what she's saying by their gestures)
It's too wide! Look!

(a man enters with lots of electronic tools hanging from a belt on his hips. He runs a stud finder up and down on the wall)

MAN
(shaking his head negatively)
No good. Too many wires here

STAVROS
Can't you do something?

MAN
I dunno...gotta think about this...

STELLA
We only want to put up this shelf so we can put a coffee pot on top. I mean, how hard is that?

(STELLA, THE ELECTRICIAN AND STAVROS disappear downstairs)

HAIRDRESSER
If we're lucky, you'll have a cup of coffee for your next appointment

CUSTOMER
Actually, I'm a tea drinker

HAIRDRESSER
No problem. We have a kettle to boil water. Between you and I, I like Starbucks coffee but keep it between ourselves

CUSTOMER
Of course. What type of tea do you have, by the way? I personally like green tea...