Whereas the plays are bid goodbye
"Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say goodnight 'til it be morrow."
William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
SCENE: A work space with a computer set up
AT RISE: A playwright sits in front of a computer, proof reading plays. A rebellion is in the works
THE PLAYWRIGHT and characters from her plays
SADIE GREENBERG , character from "Make Me a Wedding!"
KEN, Barbie's ex-significant-other
BARBIE, famous vinyl/plastic fashionista
JOE MCKENNA, from "Old Soldiers"
SHERLEEN, from "The Bra"
ROBBIE PORTMAN, from "The Shrubs"
GARRY GOAT, from "A Thief on the Beach"
PENNY FLOWERS, from "The Lemon"
One last change...dot the 'i's' and cross the 't's"... Just thinking...perhaps 'and' would be better than 'in addition to...'
Oh pleeze! When are you gonna stop making excuses not to send us out? I've been planning this wedding going on twenty years now and the wedding will cost me a mint
It's gotta feel right. The words have to flow like a river-let of water tumbling down rocks...
Did somebody mention water? What's that I hear? Surf's up, everybody!
Oh Ken! Not everything is about surfing, you silly surfer boy. There are more important things in life like being a famous fashionista and being cosmetically perfect. Joe - be a good soldier and move my vinyl arm up to my head so I can stroke my perfect coiffed hair
Yeah. Whatever she says. Here babe - is that okay? How am I doing?
Crap - that's how you're doing. Who are these minor characters, anyway?
Come again? I'll have you know our story lines got lots of hits when she wrote us in. You can put my arm down now, Joe. I'm a legend, y'know!
In your own mind. Anyway....the playwright will do anything to keep us to herself. We need to see the world! I'm tired of always hanging out at the bar with a bunch of old, decrepit soldiers discussing on our decaying bodies
What are you complaining about! I've been stuck at a bra counter in a store for going on ten years, now, discussing a broken bra strap for heaven's sake. I mean, c'mon - why doesn't she just let me throw it in the trash and get a new one? And I'm only a short play
You guys should chill out and do what I've been doing for a while now...
...a while would be how long? Five years...ten years...
Can't really say. She's edited me so many times, I lost count. Anyway, as I was sayin', I've been spending my entire life in a hammock, drinking beer. It ain't so bad
Has anybody got any trash they don't want? What about some unguarded picnic food? I'll eat anything!
How about a cell phone I can use? My car has been stuck in an intersection for years now...
Enough! All I hear are complaints from you all! I want to make you the best characters along with a strong story line. That takes time
There has to be a point where the plays have to stand on their own merit and the only way that can be achieved is to submit them to theatres. Keeping things to yourself isn't healthy. Trust me on that
I hear you all loud and clear. This is it. You're all being sent on your way as these words come up on the computer screen. With a click of this mouse...
Hang on! Maybe I could borrow a phone from somebody. I mean, perhaps we shouldn't be too hasty
Yeah - she's right. A few more edits couldn't hurt
You all made your feelings very clear and you're right. It's time to share you all with the world. In any case, there is always the possibility that you could end up back home, unfortunately
Oh well, then...hit the submit button. What do you have to lose?
(she sighs deeply)