The Turkey Strut

THE TURKEY STRUT
by Eleanor Tylbor

SCENE:      Barn on a farm
AT RISE:   A gathering of the fowl-est kind. A group of turkeys are meeting to discuss a course of action to deal with the onset of National Turkey Lovers Month, which starts in June. The sound of loud gobbling is drowning out the speaker
TIME:        Early morning



HEAD TURKEY
Can we have a little decorum here? Hello?

(he picks up a large meat cleaver and forcefully inserts it into a block of wood. There is an audible gasp)

FEMALE TURKEY
Is that really necessary? Are you trying to give us a heart attack?

HEAD TURKEY
That's the least of our worries

MALE TURKEY
A little over-the-top, aren't we? We were merely discussing the quality of the feed the farmer is feeding us

HEAD TURKEY
How about this, then. Given that it's the month of June and if the farmer gets his way, corn will be the last thing you'll have to worry about!

FEMALE TURKEY
You're always so melodramatic, Sydney.

HEAD TURKEY
I'm trying to point out that we have to decide on a course of action!

ANOTHER FEMALE TURKEY
I got a suggestion! Why don't we all do the turkey strut! Strutting always helps deal with stressful situations

MALE TURKEY
Sounds like an idea. I'll put on the music

(they all line up and strut to the music, "Turkey in the Strraw")

HEAD TURKEY
Unbelievable! I can't believe what I'm seeing

FEMALE TURKEY
I know. We're all such good strutters. Who would believe we've been doing it for only a year. It's like we were born to do this. Come join us!

HEAD TURKEY
I was referring to the reality of the situation, which is June being National Turkey Month.

FEMALE TURKEY
(still strutting)
You mean, they actually put a month aside for us turkeys? What an honor!

HEAD TURKEY
Let me put it to you this way. If they have their way, you'll be the main attraction on a platter at Sunday dinner

FEMALE TURKEY
At last! Artistic recognition. I mean, doing the strut on a platter at Sunday dinner is the ultimate form of acknowledgement and recognition of our talent

HEAD TURKEY
Let me make it simple that even your limited intellect can grasp. Sweetheart - you'll be the Sunday dinner

FEMALE TURKEY
Stop joking around, Sidney. 'Okay everyone - follow me! Kick up some dust!'

HEAD TURKEY
How about this. We wait until night and run for our lives! That is - if we're still around

FEMALE TURKEY
Of course we'll all be here. Why wouldn't we be?

HEAD TURKEY
Because... I give up. Uh-oh. Heads up. Here comes the farmer and his wife. Don't say I didn't warn youze all

FEMALE TURKEY
Oh goodie. We can give him a sneak preview of our dance style before Sunday

HEAD TURKEY
(sighing and shaking his head)
I don't think he has strutting on his mind. See 'ya around! I'm out'ta here!

FEMALE TURKEY
Okay - all together turkeys! Puff out your chest and feathers and let's give the farmer and his wife a taste of what we're all about!