THE TRANSFAT DILEMMA: a commentary and comedy focusing on the evils of transfats
By Eleanor Tylbor
News item: "Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger signed legislation yesterday banning the artery-clogging substance in the state's restaurants starting in 2010 and from all baked goods by 2011. Though some cities, such as New York, Philadelphia and Seattle, have enacted bans on trans fats, California becomes the first state with such a law."
SCENE: A FAST FOOD RESTAURANT. YOUNG MAN/WOMAN IS AT COUNTER AND WAITING TO BE SERVED. SHE/HE IS APPROACHED BY FAST-FOOD SERVER.
SERVER
Hi there! How can we help you?
CUSTOMER1
Depends. How's your menu?
SERVER
(taken aback)
Well...We have a great choice of burgers and fries and...
CUSTOMER1...
that's it.
SERVER
You want a burger and fries?
CUSTOMER1
Depends. Now how are your trans fats?
SERVER
Pardon?
CUSTOMER1
You know...trans fats? The bad stuff that causes clogged arteries?
SERVER
Huh?
CUSTOMER1
Your heart? The thing that beats in your chest? Clogged and then a massive heart attack? Death sometimes?
SERVER
(backing away)
Uh-huh...
CUSTOMER1
Didn't you get the message that Gov. Schwarzennegger has banned transfats in restaurants? Do you have any?
SERVER
I'm sorry but I really don't know what you're talking about
CUSTOMER1
See - that's the problem. Most people don't and especially the fast food places but it's there alright! So do you?
SERVER
(moving away from counter)
You're beginning to scare me, sir/lady! I don't know! Really!
CUSTOMER1
There's the rub. Very few people know about transfats in fries, burgers, chocolate bars and all that junk food but it's there
SERVER
Maybe I should call my manager...
CUSTOMER1
It's really an easy question. Do you or don't you have trans fats?
SERVER
(starting to cry)
I-I don't know...
(Other customers start to gather around)
CUSTOMER2
Hey! What are you saying? Are you threatening this girl?
CUSTOMER 1
I was merely asking her if the food served here contains trans fats. I didn't realize it would be construed as threatening.
CUSTOMER 2
Yeah... I heard about that. Good move by Arnie and it's about time! (turning to the server) Does it have any?
SERVER
I dunno! I dunno! I only work here!
CUSTOMER 3
'She only works here!' Isn't that what they all say? Nobody takes responsibility for anything these days
CUSTOMER 2
Ain't that the truth!
CUSTOMER 4
Yeah! We get the heart attacks and they tell us they don't know!
(All the customers get involved in a shouting match, complainting about trans fats)
CUSTOMER1
(to server who is being consoled by another server)
Know what? I'm not in the mood for a burger and fries. I'm more in a..."salad-ish" mood!
CUSTOMER 1
(leaves the store with customers and servers yelling at each other)
Wonder how much transfat is in salad dressing...
SERVER
Hi there! How can we help you?
CUSTOMER1
Depends. How's your menu?
SERVER
(taken aback)
Well...We have a great choice of burgers and fries and...
CUSTOMER1...
that's it.
SERVER
You want a burger and fries?
CUSTOMER1
Depends. Now how are your trans fats?
SERVER
Pardon?
CUSTOMER1
You know...trans fats? The bad stuff that causes clogged arteries?
SERVER
Huh?
CUSTOMER1
Your heart? The thing that beats in your chest? Clogged and then a massive heart attack? Death sometimes?
SERVER
(backing away)
Uh-huh...
CUSTOMER1
Didn't you get the message that Gov. Schwarzennegger has banned transfats in restaurants? Do you have any?
SERVER
I'm sorry but I really don't know what you're talking about
CUSTOMER1
See - that's the problem. Most people don't and especially the fast food places but it's there alright! So do you?
SERVER
(moving away from counter)
You're beginning to scare me, sir/lady! I don't know! Really!
CUSTOMER1
There's the rub. Very few people know about transfats in fries, burgers, chocolate bars and all that junk food but it's there
SERVER
Maybe I should call my manager...
CUSTOMER1
It's really an easy question. Do you or don't you have trans fats?
SERVER
(starting to cry)
I-I don't know...
(Other customers start to gather around)
CUSTOMER2
Hey! What are you saying? Are you threatening this girl?
CUSTOMER 1
I was merely asking her if the food served here contains trans fats. I didn't realize it would be construed as threatening.
CUSTOMER 2
Yeah... I heard about that. Good move by Arnie and it's about time! (turning to the server) Does it have any?
SERVER
I dunno! I dunno! I only work here!
CUSTOMER 3
'She only works here!' Isn't that what they all say? Nobody takes responsibility for anything these days
CUSTOMER 2
Ain't that the truth!
CUSTOMER 4
Yeah! We get the heart attacks and they tell us they don't know!
(All the customers get involved in a shouting match, complainting about trans fats)
CUSTOMER1
(to server who is being consoled by another server)
Know what? I'm not in the mood for a burger and fries. I'm more in a..."salad-ish" mood!
CUSTOMER 1
(leaves the store with customers and servers yelling at each other)
Wonder how much transfat is in salad dressing...
No comments:
Post a Comment