BARBIE, KEN AND THE REST IN PLASTICVILLE

SCENE:A PARTY AT A MALIBU BEACH HOUSE. THERE IS MUSIC IN THE AIR AND THROUGH THE PICTURE WINDOW, WE CAN SEE BARBIE AND HER FRIENDS DANCING IT UP (on tippy-toes). A CONVERTIBLE DRIVES UP AND KEN, DRESSED IN HIS USUAL SURFING GEAR, GETS OUT AND HIDES BEHIND BUSHES AND PEERS INSIDE. SUDDENLY, GI JOE HOLDING HIS EVER-PRESENT WEAPON LOOKS OUT A HUGE PICTURE WINDOW. THE DOOR OF THE BEACH HOUSE OPENS AND GI JOE STANDS AT THE DOORWAY.


GI JOE
Who's there? Is somebody hiding 'cause if you are and I catch you, I'll blast the living daylights...

(BARBIE JOINS GI JOE)

BARBIE
Oh Joe! Just stop it right now! You are like...soooo paranoid

GI JOE
Thanks! That's what everyone tells me

BARBIE
Please come in and close the door! You're like...embarrassing me in front of my friends

GI JOE
Them Bratz babes? Lemme tell you Barbie doll - they ain't your friends! You should hear what they say about you behind your back

BARBIE
You know I can't see or hear what's going on behind my back! I can't even turn my head without help...or even scratch an itch

GI JOE
Me neither...but I hear all of them whispering

BARBIE
Oh plleeze! You see plots everywhere! I can't find any kitchen help because you insist on frisking the help every five minutes

GI JOE
Hey - me and the pool guy are close friends now

BARBIE
I heard...very close friends

GI JOE
Ssssh....hear that?

BARBIE
What? I don't hear anything

GI JOEWell I do! I'm trained to hear. My ears are a lethal weapon

BARBIE
So is your brain

GI JOE
Thank you! Love 'ya babe! Uh-oh! There's somebody hiding somewhere!

BARBIE
It's probably just Paris Hilton's dog in heat again. The dog is always hot for my chiuahua, Mimi.

GI JOE
No - it's a human...and...it's hiding somewhere....over there!(

GI JOE RUNS OVER TO THE BUSHES WHERE KEN IS HIDING)

GI JOE
Whoever is in there better show your face or I'm gonna shoot first and ask questions later. Wait a minute... I'm gonna ask questions and then shoot later... Something like that

(KEN SLOWLY STANDS UP)

KEN
Don't shoot! It's me, Joe! Ken! Remember? Our fun games at my beach house? I dress up like nurse and you...

GI JOE
Yeah...I remember. My soldier senses tell me that you're... an enemy! Sorry but I gotta blast you, Kenny boy

KEN
No! I swear! I'm a friend!

BARBIE
Ken? Is that you? How many more times do I have to tell you that we're through?

GI JOE
'ya want me to shoot him, babe? 'Cause I can! Just say the word!

KEN
No! You can't shoot me because...because...