MR. WILLIAM SHAKEASPEAR, ESQ.
How are things going with you? Had any new plays produced lately?
There’s good news and bad news and neutral news, depending on the interpretation. Most of my "babies" have come home to mama...again. Oh the angst of it all!
I know I should feel somewhat relieved knowing that at the very least they’re back home with their creator but there remains that nagging question: “WHY?” Since there was and seldom is commentary provided by the recipients, the reason for rejection is strictly speculation.
In discussing artistic hang-ups with fellow playwrights most were in agreement that after releasing their plays to the world, the second worst thing is the waiting period for replies that frequently don't/never arrive.
When it comes to creative anxiety, playwrights have the corner in this area. There's always this incessant concern that:
a) the play is/was drivel and the recipient will/did immediately toss it in the trash or
b) maybe it never reached its destination having dropped out of a mail bag along the way or
c) maybe the recipient liked the play but the theatre's season is filled up and they decided to keep it for a future production, and by mistake dropped it in "file thirteen" at the bottom of a trash can
A creative idea would be to include a card containing tick-off boxes along with the elusive SASE, in the hope that the director/reader/janitor will send it back:
This is to advise you that we have received your play and we find that:
a) your play is typed well and we like the font
b) your play had insufficient postage so we took the postage stamp off your return envelope for future use, as payment
c) your play is drivel
d) your play is so good that we are immediately staging it for a Broadway/London/wherever opening, after which it will tour the world
In any case there is still one literary baby “out there.” Where there is life there's hope.
Oh please, oh please, let there be hope! Playwrights live on those four letters!
Meanwhile, say hello to the little missus and the children.
'Til next time...