A playette and short version of "Neighbors" - in honor of National Good Neighbors Day

Some calendars note that today being September 28th, has been put aside to celebrate National Good Neighbors Day. The origin of this  not-so-well-known holiday (I wasn't aware of its existence) dates back to the early 1970's, when one Mrs. Becky Mattson from Lakeside, Montana, recognized the importance of good neighbors, and started the effort to make this a National day. Assisted by congressman Mike Mansfield, she succeed in getting three presidents (Nixon, Ford, and Carter)  to issue proclamations, along with numerous governors. In 2003, the U.S. Senate passed a resolution, sponsored by Montana.

To mark this interesting holiday, I'm sharing the short/playette version of my play, "Neighbors" It's based on the real life feud between two neighbors that lived next door to each other down the street from where we lived, over the placement of shrubs on what both believed to be on their property. Never did find out the end result but their verbal updates inspired the play.

NEIGHBORS

By Eleanor Tylbor

CAST OF CHARACTERS

 

John Taylor, 35,     Perfectionist and fussy next door neighbor of PORTMAN

Robbie Portman, 37,  Easy-going neighbor of TAYLOR

 

THE TIME

Mid-summer. Morning

THE PLACE

Back garden
 

 

TAYLOR digs in his vegetable patch clad in dress slacks, a short sleeved dress shirt and tie

PORTMAN wearing creased shorts and t-shirt, relaxes in a hammock, beer bottle in hand

SOUND: LAWNMOWER

TAYLOR

              Wipes sweat with handkerchief, leans on

              rake while talking to TAYLOR, pausing for

              a reaction after every statement

Too hot for digging, today. Must be a hundred degrees in the shade for sure. 'Course some people don’t care ‘bout how their lawn looks… Take you for example – somebody – anybody - please?

 

PORTMAN

Is that neighbor Taylor tryin’ to be a comedian? Neh! More likely a squirrel in heat

TAYLOR

Does the thought ever cross your mind to do something useful like - work, perhaps?

PORTMAN

               PORTMAN holds beer bottle up to the light

               and bends down to pick up another

My bottle is empty and I gotta bend down and get me another in this heat, but somebody's gotta do it. Might as well be me

TAYLOR

You have to be the laziest person in the whole neighborhood AND an alcoholic to boot. I won’t even talk about your lawn...

PORTMAN

…so don’t…

TAYLOR

…not to mention the dilapidated exterior of your house is the worst eyesore on the block

PORTMAN

Like it? It’s a new look I’m trying out. I call it lawnmower-free-expressive

TAYLOR

Condemned-modern more likely. When you gonna do something useful for a change?

PORTMAN

But I did. I reached down for a beer

TAYLOR

You are aware that your property is lowering the value of mine and everyone else. Some of us take pleasure in having a decent looking garden -

PORTMAN

- and some of us couldn’t give a damn. Looks just fine t’me

 TAYLOR

When you gonna join the real world and become a contributing member of society?
 

PORTMAN

(ignoring TAYLOR)

Always with questions and more questions. Hey – I get it! You’re practicin' for a quiz show. Right? ‘Potent potables for a thousand.’ Don’t mind if I do

               PORTMAN takes a sip of beer

‘Down the hatch and over the tongue – look out stomach  – down it comes!’ Here’s mud in both your eyes

 TAYLOR

Guess now's a good time as any. About those shrubs of yours…

 PORTMAN

Take a hike - preferably in the middle of the street in oncoming traffic

TAYLOR

I know I've warned you about them in the past but this time I really mean it. They could – like - mysteriously burn down one night. Know what I mean? Fires start so easily in dry hot weather

PORTMAN

They ain’t botherin’ me none but you do!

TAYLOR

They’re blocking the sunlight from shining on my side of the garden and my tomato crop needs sun to ripen them

PORTMAN

You're bugging me. Make like a bee and buzz off

TAYLOR

You must be blind not to see they’re a good two feet on my side of the fence. Here - lemme show you the city plan so you can see once and for all that I know what I’m talking about
 

PORTMAN

No need to! You probably paid off someone at City Hall to measure in your favor. Now where’d I put those ear plugs to block out the sound of your nagging…

TAYLOR

See, thing is, I got plans for those extra couple of feet you stole

PORTMAN

Gimme a break! Wait! I get it now! You wanna make a par-3 golf course and charge people t’get in. Get lost. I’m trying to read this book

TAYLOR

And what are we reading these days? The latest in the “See Spot Run” series? Listen you lazy son-of-a-bitch -

PORTMAN

Omyheavens! Such bad words! Your wifey is gonna hav'ta wash your mouth out with soap

TAYLOR

Cut them down by tomorrow, Portman, or I’m gonna take things into my own hands if you get my drift

PORTMAN

In your dreams, veggie boy! I got better things to do with my time than dig up ten foot shrubs

TAYLOR

While I have your attention span, which lasts about as long as a flea hunting for dog's fur, the branches of your rotten apple tree are hanging over on my side of the fence, again

PORTMAN

Don’t stop you from pickin’ up all them apples that happen t'land in your yard

TAYLOR

Why would I want them since they’re full of worm holes, like your brain. Obviously, threats don’t work so I guess I'll have to go hire me a lawyer and take you to court. We’ll let a judge decide who owns what

PORTMAN

Got a particular liar – um – lawyer in mind? Try Mitch Cassidy. I hear he specializes in lost causes

TAYLOR

That’s right, man. Make jokes and drink away your problems. Your brain is so fermented, you don't realize the ramifications of legal action
 

PORTMAN

I'm so scared! Can't you tell how scared I am? All that hot air comin’ from your side of the fence has given me a ragin’ thirst. To my health!

TAYLOR

If you’d simply have checked your house plans before you moved in, all of this antagonism between us could have been avoided and we wouldn't have to waste time being at each others throats

PORTMAN

The plan would’a told me what I already know is true. The bushes are on my side! Go stroke your cucumbers or somethin'

 TAYLOR

I need to cut my grass but I can’t because you never returned my lawnmower you borrowed a month ago!

PORTMAN

You could always use a cow. Wait a minute! You’re married to one!

TAYLOR

Shut your – your - filthy mouth! You’re treading on dangerous ground, now, so be very careful what you say next
 

PORTMAN

'Oh Mommy – save me!’ What a joke you are, man!

TAYLOR

Fine. If that's the way you want it. I’m finished with the threats. You can expect a registered letter in the mail from my lawyer

PORTMAN

You sendin’ me a love letter? Always had my doubts ‘bout you if you get my drift. Now I know why there’s so many of them there panty hose hangin’ on your line

TAYLOR

Why your wife hasn’t left you is beyond me but like they say, love is blind. How is the lovely Harriet anyway? Still working? Thank goodness, since someone has to pay the mortgage payments

PORTMAN

That new car o’yours fixed yet? Too bad your Julie ran it into the garage door. Got a problem with her reverse and drive but it’s understandable being married to you and all

TAYLOR

At least we have a car that runs unlike that bundle of rust that’s been rotting in the driveway for who-knows-how-long. Then again it matches the rest of your house

PORTMAN

Don’t bother me none

TAYLOR

I’m feeling ambitious today. Just might go rent me one of those big tree cutters and do the job myself

 

PORTMAN

Over my dead body you will!

TAYLOR

That can easily be arranged. Just stick your head through the shrubs while I’m cutting. That way you can save money on a hair cut

PORTMAN

Keep your slimy hands off’a my shrubs or…

TAYLOR

…or you’ll what? Stop me? You’re so out of shape you can’t lift one leg over the fence

PORTMAN           

               PORTMAN jumps up, runs to the fence and

               grabs TAYLOR’s shirt through the fence slats 

Wanna see what these hands can do? They can squeeze your throat ‘til you turn blue

TAYLOR

Let go my shirt! If you tear it…

PORTMAN

…you’ll go cry to Julie how the bad man next door ripped it?

               PORTMAN releases his hold

Forget it. You’re not worth the trouble

               PORTMAN returns to his hammock

TAYLOR

Go on! Go back to what you were doing…what you always do,

nothing. Zippo. Nada. Don’t be surprised if you hear a loud noise in the middle of the night and wake up to find a bunch of holes where your shrubs used to be!

PORTMAN

Blah-blah-blah - been there, heard it all before

TAYLOR

Don’t think I won’t do it – ‘cause I will! I mean it!

PORTMAN

Sure you mean it. You’ll do it like you’ve been doing since we’ve lived next door to each other. By the way and because I'm a nice guy and all - it’s gone nine o'clock already

TAYLOR

Shoot! You made me miss my morning train commute! Now I gotta wait another hour for the next one. Somehow, you always manage to bring out the worst in me

PORTMAN

And you know you love every minute of it. There’s a word for people like you
 

TAYLOR

And what would that be, he asked, afraid to hear the answer

PORTMAN

Pain-in-the-butt neighbor. Uh-oh - you’re gonna miss the next one if you don't move your butt

TAYLOR

Are you planning to watch the big game tonight?

PORTMAN

Wha'cha wanna know for? You ain’t gonna call the cops on me again

TAYLOR

Hey! I thought someone was robbing your house and I was just looking out for your best interests

PORTMAN

Bull-doo-doo! So how come when they asked you if I was the owner of the house, you told them no. I ended up spending half the night in jail. Thank goodness Harriet came t'bail me out

 

TAYLOR

Doesn't she always in more ways than one. Anyway, it was a case of mistaken identity. Pure and simple. I was thinking here that maybe –um - we could, like, watch the game together?

PORTMAN

Since when do you like sports?

TAYLOR

I’ll have you know I used to play on my company’s croquet team
 

PORTMAN

Croquet. Now that's a serious contact game. You’re serious. You wanna watch the game - together?

TAYLOR

I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t mean it. I’ll even bring over some beer

PORTMAN

You mean that yellow-colored pissy-crap you drink? Lemme bring over some real stuff. If we’re gonna watch together, you gotta drink my brand

TAYLOR

You know - we've been bickering like this for how many years, now? Twenty? Maybe more? Yet somehow, can’t figure out how, we've managed to stay talking to each other. That has to mean something. Something binds our friendship

PORTMAN

Maybe friendship would be pushin' it a bit but you're right. You talk – I gotta listen

TAYLOR

By the way you can tell Harriet the tomatoes are ripe. Left a bag on your front porch. Ask her if I supply the apples if she'll make another one of her delicious pies. Your wife is one great baker!

PORTMAN

Don't hav'ta tell me that. Gained ten pounds this year with all them apples you been supplying her with. You tryin' to gimme a heart attack?

TAYLOR

Oh and Portman - maybe during half time, we could – like – discuss the shrubs? I mean, it doesn't hurt to talk about them calmly. Right? After all – at the heart of all, there's a deep brotherly love for each other. So are we still on for tonight?

PORTMAN

Brotherly love and shrubs. Why do I even bother?

TAYLOR

Figured it was worth a shot. Anway,I’m out’ta here. Don’t stay out in the sun too long ‘cause it’ll fry whatever brain you have left. Some of us gotta work for a living...

PORTMAN

…and some of us like to watch our shrubs grow tall.


© 2013 Eleanor Tylbor

The anti resume

Okay. I admit it. I've been lazy and unmotivated lately. My playwriting effort has been limited for the most part, to short plays/sketches because they come easy to me and they are also easy to submit to various short play festivals.

While in submission mode and providing an accompanying description as to my background, the thought occurs to me as to whether I should label myself "playwright", having never had a play produced. Is a professionally produced play necessary to give a person who writes plays, "playwright"? Is the mere act of completing a play alright to call ourselves playwrights? Just some thoughts. But I digress.

My playwriting achievements as I've frequently shared here in this blog, are two two-act plays, which have been submitted to perhaps two dozen theatres, a one-act play submitted to six sources, in addition to numerous short-shorts i.e. 10-20 minute and under play-ettes submitted to numerous competitions. They - the plays - are all still waiting for the theatre world to discover them, as is the playwright.

All of this is leading to a very interesting blog passed on by the Playwright's Competition Calendar, a blog to which I'm subscribed, focusing on rejection. Written by Monica Byrne, a writer and playwright, she shares a blog focusing on what she calls, her "anti resume, resume." In it, she lists her rejections and breaks it down further in percentages.

In my case and if a similar exercise was pursued, there would also be a section for started-but-not-completed plays, completed plays languishing in cyber space due to fear of rejection or plays with themes that don't seem to fit theatre's niche.

Excuses thy name is Eleanor but I found Monica's anti-resume somehow comforting. Perhaps playwrights or aspiring playwrights will feel the same way: http://monicacatherine.wordpress.com/2013/08/19/my-anti-resume/

Post summer cleanup

This morning, not usually part of my condo cleaning routine, I decided to clear out the hard copies of my writing output. Why? Really don't know. Included in the clean up were printed columns and articles amassed over the years, which had turned yellow and were collecting dust in a large cardboard box stored on a shelf. Combing through the plethora of paper (plethora of paper - these three words have a certain ring to them) were plays that had been tossed in with the rest of the stuff for lack of space.

Amongst them were a few new short-short 10-minute play-ettes written with the intent of having them performed in front of an audience (a familiar theme) but somehow ended up in the "have to think about this further" state,  a plethora of copies of "A Wedding!" a.k.a. 'Make me a Wedding', one of two full plays. Can't remember the reason behind printing 12 copies of 120 pages but most likely given the time period of the printing, it had to do with an opportunity to self-produce the play.

Thinking back, there had been an attempt at producing it on my own on less than a shoestring budget. However - hate the 'howevers' in life - many problems arose from the onset not the least of which, was the inability to acquire actors or people with acting experience that felt confident enough to memorize lines. They came, they left. They came, they left, to the point where the play was no longer viable. It was obvious when chunks of the play had to be cut along with characters to make up for the lack of actors. The "actors" who did stay didn't always show up for rehearsals having bowling or weekly mah-jong commitments while others went on extended vacations, or so they told me. The experience was akin to the play, "Noises Off" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105017/).

At the bottom of the pile were stacks of copies (again) of "Gin..." my other play that has yet to see the light of day. Both plays are comedies and in my opinion, they're funny. At least I laugh every time I read them.

So now the dilemma is should they stay or should they go since I've updated them both at least a dozen times over the years. It's always interesting to read them over and evaluate the progression of the story line to their current incarnation. Alternatively, I could return them to their former storage place, think things over  and wait until the cleaning fever passes. Definitely a better option.

The plan is sketch-y

"So, Eleanor - what have you been up to lately? Started any new plays, one hopes?"

Regretfully, no, but I did finish my final re-write of "A Thief on the Beach" and am satisfied with the end result.

"But Eleanor - that's not a play! It's a story! It's time you started on a new play or at least finish those that are languishing in cyber never-never land and waiting for an ending!"

True.. but my philosophy (major cop-out) is that a literary completion is a completion is... In as far as a new play(s) project is concerned, haven't come up with a burning idea or concept that moves me enough to explore.

"How about the one-act play that you submitted recently?"

Still waiting to hear back as to its fate, if at all. Hope springs eternal and all that.

"Is there anything new to report?"

Actually, yes. Maybe. Plans are in the works to produce and present an evening of sketch comedy. Proposed the idea to our writing group and to this end printed up a sampling of comedy sketches for all to read. They (sketches) were enthusiastically received and some of the people expressed the desire to be part of the project. I'm in the process of narrowing down the plausible sketches or those that will please a wide variety of tastes and ages. They will be distributed and we'll evaluate who will fit which sketch. Hopefully, the people that do commit to the project realize that there is a lot of rehearsal time involved.

Comedy, as anyone who has attempted it will attest, is a difficult challenge with timing plus delivery being everything. This is a concern. A number of the potential sketches have been shared here in this blog over time in addition to others actually performed a while back.

Meanwhile, we'll have to evaluate the comedy potential of the potential performers, which will be done next week, hopefully. To be continued...

The Best of Friends have returned home

Over the years, my children's manuscript, "The Very Best of Friends" a.k.a. "A Thief on the Beach" must have been tweaked at least a dozen times, if not more. The original story was written a while back - this means at least twenty years ago - but the basic story line remains the same.

The tale focuses on two best of friends, Jeremy Goat and Freddy Fox, who compliment each other but not necessarily in a positive way. The young goat has an uncontrollable, voracious appetite for just about everything and the sly fox lives to play pranks on the community of animals living in Pottersville, located "a half mile down from the best beach around."

The story has always remained close to my heart and hence the reason for the various updates over the years. When it comes to updating, I'm the 'queen of tweaking." The pattern is to "fix" it, put it away for a year or more, pull it out of storage periodically, "fix" it again and so on. It's been a while since the friends have seen the light of day in the true sense of the word and a read-through brought with yet more changes.

Reading through it, I found some inconsistencies along with one or two superfluous characters that were eliminated. No sooner had they disappeared then they were brought back in a different form. I spent the weekend updating/tweaking/fixing - call it what you want - and managed to re-write four pages. So far, so good but then I always say that. There are a lot of positive messages within the story line, which is one of the main reasons I've stuck with it, in addition to light humor.

This time round I'd really like to seek out a publisher, electronic or print, not sure yet. Being that it's for young children although adults would also enjoy the story, it would require illustrations.

It also lends itself to a cartoon, given the dialogue and characters but first things-first, the priority of which is to finish the last re-write.

More progress reports to follow. To paraphrase the mischievous Freddy: "what are we waiting for?"

A play-ful taste of "The Lemon"

As shared in a previous blog, I'm working on tweaking or re-writing one of my current short plays, "The Lemon."  A comedy, I've always liked this play-ette and it's for this reason I'm providing an excerpt. As always, comments welcome.

The story focuses on a woman (PENNY), whose newly acquired more-than-gently used car is stalled and her saga to get it moved out of a busy intersection. Her cell phone dead and unable to contact the car dealer, she is forced to use a public phone that is otherwise in use by a female, and a verbal battle of wits ensues between them.



THE LEMON
by Eleanor Tylbor


CAST OF CHARACTERS

PENNY FLOWERS, Owner of “the lemon

FEMALE PHONE USER, (‘F.P.U.’) user of public phone stand

 

THE TIME: The present. Mid-afternoon. Hot summer day

 

SETTING:  A public telephone stand at a busy intersection.

 

AT RISE:   A female, (PENNY) paces outside a public phone stand, waiting for person using the phone to leave. She is holding a cell phone in one hand and repetitively hits it against her leg, then puts it to her ear. She is tense since her car ("the lemon") is stalled in the middle of a busy intersection

 

PENNY

I don’t believe this! How many more things can go wrong, today?
Aside to Female Phone User: 'Scuse me, lady, but I gotta use that phone!’

 

SOUND: CAR HORNS

         PENNY looks off into the distance and makes obscene gesture with finger

 ‘Blow it out your nose, idiots! You'll get more out of it!' This is so typical. Finally, I get a cell phone and forget to charge the battery.

SPEAKING TO PERSON USING PHONE:

‘Scuse me? Are you going to be much longer?’

FEMALE PHONE USER (F.P.U.)

Do you mind? I’m almost finished. Why don’t you use your cell phone?

PENNY

Uh duhhh! Don'cha think I would if I could? It's broken –just like your fingers could be if I can’t use that phone like… now

F.P.U..

Are you threatening me with bodily harm? Oh gawd – a nut case! I attract them all!
ASIDE TO PERSON ON PHONE: ‘I think somebody wants to hurt me, Chloe!’

PENNY

I’m merely venting, silly lady, at least for the time being but things could change if I don’t get to use that phone! Perhaps I should explain so you’ll be sympathetic to my dilemma. D'ya see that car over there?

F.P.U.

Like, who cares, you crazy woman!
ASIDE TO PERSON ON PHONE: “Chloe, if anything happens to me, call my parents and tell them that I love them. Oh and you can tell my sister she can have my Manolo Blahnik Shoes.’

PENNY

Humor me for thirty seconds. Over there – see the car?

F.P.U.

You mean that orange-colored wreck? That’s - yours? I’d keep it to myself if I was you

PENNY

I bought the rusting chunk of junk a week ago and it died on me, today. There’s a sucker born every minute and the dealer saw a big red “S” right here on my forehead

F.P.U.

Okay. I see your car. Now can I finish my conversation? The more you interrupt – the longer it’ll take

           F.P.U. turns away. PENNY taps her on the back

PENNY

Perhaps I’m not making myself clear. I'm not a violent person by nature - not at all but you’re pushing my buttons! Wait – I made a joke - get it? Public phone stand? Push the buttons? In my personal angst, I still manage to find humor. I’m a survivor alright!

F.P.U.

(talking into phone softly)

‘Chloe? Don’t hang up on me, yet! I want proof if this nut case attacks me.’

PENNY

You strike me as a relatively sensible person…um…um… You do have a name?

F.P.U..

Like I would tell it to a weirdo like you, who not two minutes ago threatened me with bodily harm

SPEAKS ON PHONE: ‘Are you still there, Chloe? I might need you to call the police’

PENNY

Do you appreciate how much time that has been wasted? Precious time I could have spent speaking to my car dealer but you insisted on staking out your territory here

F.P.U.

SPEAKS ON PHONE: ‘Get ready to call 911! I mean it!’

PENNY

There's no need for that. Ask any of my friends and they’ll tell you that I'm normally a sane person who rarely loses my temper, but my back’s against the wall!

           PENNY reaches over and grabs phone

PENNY SPEAKS ON PHONE: ‘Hello Chloe? She’ll call you right back.’

There! Your conversation is now over

F.P.U.

How dare you!

PENNY

How dare I? How dare I, you ask? How many times did I tell you that I hadda make a desperate phone call, but did you listen? Nooooo! Your phone conversation took precedent over my needs, so I took things into my own hands in the true sense of the word. If you don’t mind, I’d like some privacy so block your ears and turn away. Better still, go away

F.P.U.

Excuse me? After the way you interrupted my conversation? I think not

PENNY

Let me see here…where’s my phone directory? This purse is so big, everything gets lost inside… So this is where my salami sandwich went. Phew! Kind’a stinks. Then again, it is two weeks old. Would you mind tossing it into the trash can over there?

FPU

I think not! Why don’t you go throw it in yourself? It’s only mere few feet away. Wouldn’t take you long

PENNY

You think I’m an idiot?

FPU

The thought did cross my mind in addition to being insane

PENNY

I take one step away from here and you jump in and take over control of the phone, again. I think not! I’ll just put it back in my purse and toss it later on, when you’re not around

FPU

That is like, so disgusting! You’re gonna contaminate the phone! I’m gonna vomit!

PENNY

Don’t let me stop you. Let’s see here…where is the number of my dealership. I should’a filed it under “losers”. Here it is

          PENNY pushes buttons        

PENNY

TALKS ON PHONE:

‘Tony please. Tony Mozarelle. He what?’

ASIDE TO F.P.U.:

This is just my luck! They’re telling me my salesman has disappeared. Flown the coop. Taken wing as it was

F.P.U.

Oh well. Tough luck. Is it my turn, now?

PENNY

Not yet but soon. Oh the angst of it all!

          PENNY continues her phone conversation

PENNY

TALKS ON THE PHONE: ‘I'm a client of that place you laughingly call a dealership. Oh they warned me not to buy anything from you but did I listen? Nooo! Instead I go ahead and end up with this…this…clunker blocking the middle of a busy intersection! I-demand-satisfaction! Hello? Hello?’

ASIDE TO F.P.U:  Do you believe she hung up on me? People are so rude these days                                                                            

PENNY

(softly and politely)

ON THE PHONE: ‘Please don’t hang up. It’s been a day in hell and I’m asking for your indulgence and forgiveness. Now, would it be possible to speak to your wonderful manager? And his name would be…? Mr. Anthony Blackburn. Would this helpful Anthony person be free to talk to me now? Thank you so much… Miss…Miss…Jenkins – and you have a good day. ‘Ciao bella.’ Mr. Blackburn? Hi there...my name is….’

VOICE OVER: “Hello. You’ve reached my voice mail because I’m too busy selling people cars at the most unbelievable bargain prices! Every hour on the hour, we lower the prices of our gently used ve-hi-cles so that our customers can save their bucks to pay for gas. Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you…whenever.”   

I can’t take it! This…this… woman transferred me to an automated answering system! What ever happened to live conversation with a real person? Gone with the wind just like service in general!

F.P.U.

Why don’t you just march right over there and give that manager a piece of your mind, right now! I would.

PENNY

I’m distraught and demoralized and all you can think about is to continue your stupid, insipid conversation with Chloe! On top of it all, the automated machine spat out names and phone locals and I don’t even have a pencil! Is there no end to the frustration I must deal with?

ASIDE TO F.P.U.:(genteel sweet voice:) _­ Um - friend? I feel we’ve gotten to know each other in the short time we’ve both been standing here - two travelers on the super phone highway, dialing to communicate our needs. I’m wondering here if I could, like, ask a little fa-vor? It's not a biggie or anything that could put you out. Do you - would you… by any chance have a pen or pencil I could borrow? I don’t seem to have anything to write with 

F.P.U.

After the way you treated me? You really have nerve!

PENNY

Just desperate. Check in your purse. Perhaps you’d like me to check in there for you?

F.P.U.

You wanna rob me, don’t you? That’s it, isn’t it? Ohmygawd! I'm hyperventilating...

PENNY

Look, whatever-your-name-is - let's start all over and pretend we just met. Isn’t that a good idea? Make believe I'm a close but needy friend who happened along and is asking you to - nay – begging you to please check for a pen or pencil that I could borrow. D'ya think you could do that? As one sister to another? All you hav’ta do is open that bee-u-ti-ful designer pocketbook, stick your hand inside and feel around. I'll even take an eyeliner or eyebrow pencil…anything with lead will do…

Re-thinking about re-tooling and re-evaluating

Second-guessing is not a good idea, especially when dealing with an established story line. As shared here in this blog ad nauseum, I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to editing my plays. Actually, one play in particular ("you couldn't be referring to 'Old Soldiers' now, could you, Eleanor?") which could be but not necessarily so, depending on yet another read-through evaluation of the story line and dialogue flow.

The reason for this conclusion came as a result of a sleepless night and for whatever reason - it's better than counting sheep - started thinking about the characters in my various plays and whether they are believable. It's been my experience that the lack of sleep precipitates my old friend, creeping doubt, to make its presence known. The play, as anyone who has followed the saga of writing and finishing 'Old Soldiers' knows, has had many incarnations and updates. The uncertainty last night was that maybe the original story line, is in the end, the best one after all.

This conclusion was reached at two-thirty a.m. until four a.m. in the morning while staring up at the ceiling. That's when self-doubt works best providing visual images of the characters playing out their scenes. Questions arose to the surface as to the various re-writes and incarnations and the rationale behind making changes.

Issues like whether or not Daisy the dog character is relevant and is her inclusion necessary? What would happen if she was dropped? Given that the dog is featured in one scene only, does it play an integral part of the whole? More importantly, would Daisy be insulted?

"Why drop me?" Daisy would most likely ask if she could. "After everything that Joe and I have been through, together, over many years, my contribution is important."

In the first copy of the play, there was interesting verbal inter-action between Joe and a bus driver discussing the reason for Joe's trip. It was subsequently dropped in later re-writes but I'm toying with the idea of writing it in, again. My thoughts behind this is that perhaps it would provide more background information on the character.

When sleep finally took over, I was no further ahead than before other than the conclusion that this is a really good play - if it's ever really finished. Whether that feeling of not one more word can be added or deleted will ever be experienced.

And there-in lays the problem.

Have sketches - will perform

Every second Tuesday afternoon, our Writer's Corner group meet to share our latest creative writing output. Interestingly enough, the participating writers are also talented artists, all of whom know each other on a personal friendship basis. It's sort-of an interchange and exchange of creative abilities. I've always believed that people in the various creative arts will find each other i.e. like-attracts-like.

In any case and rather than produce a new writing piece to add to my extensive collection, made a decision to give my comedy (at least I believe they are) sketches/play-ettes shared in this blog, a chance to be heard. To this end, I've selected three favorites to be performed in front of the group, assisted by a fellow member of the writer's group. We've worked together in the past a while back when there were plans to present my two-act comedy, "A Wedding!" Although the play never got beyond the rehearse and read-out-loud stage, the two of us have remained friends over the years and she likes the idea of doing the sketches, be it read out loud from sheets. It will be interesting to gauge the reaction of the listeners and I'll share the end result here. The intention, depending on the reaction, is to possibly perform the sketches in front of groups to get my plays "out there."

Speaking of plays, sent a submission query to the Theatre Unbound in Minneapolis, MN, having found a call for plays a general "submissions wanted" section of a playwriting site. They responded with, "Due to a staffing shortage we are not able to accept script submissions as we had originally intended.  Please check our website in 6 months for change to this status and for script requirements."
Will follow up in six months. Oh well... We live in hope.