MILEY AND THE WALMART LADIES
Sometimes, a playwright is privy to a conversation that just begs to be written. Okay. Perhaps begs is too strong but this was over-heard while standing in line in Walmart (no less) waiting to pay for some items. It went something like this.
SCENE: WALMART. Long line up of people waiting to pay.
THE CAST:
SALLY (60-ish female)
FLO (80-ish female) and mother of SALLY
SALLY
Lot of people today, mom. We're gonna have to wait a bit
FLO
People always seem to shop at Walmart when it rains. I wonder why
SALLY
Nothing better to do, I guess
FLO
Uh-huh...maybe...
(SALLY's attention is on the magazines located in the check-out aisle. She shakes her head)
SALLY
Sad...really sad
FLO
What?
SALLY
Miley Cyrus
FLO
Who?
SALLY
Miley Cyrus
(SALLY points to photo of Miley Cyrus on magazine cover)
SALLY
You know Miley Cyrus...
FLO
Who?
SALLY
The singer?
FLO
Name sounds familiar...
SALLY
Remember she used to be in Disney movies? Such a sweet thing she was. Sad...
FLO
Is she dead?
SALLY
No - but if she doesn't change her life style, she could be
FLO
Oh...
SALLY
She was in the hospital, y'know
FLO
She sick I suppose?
SALLY
Yeah...could say that. The girl exposes herself
FLO
She's not wearing a lot of clothes. Perhaps she susceptible to colds
SALLY
I read somewhere that she has a heart murmur
FLO
Didn't know that. My friend, Phyllis has heart problems - so does Arthur... They take a lot of pills, especially the pink one's with a heart on it? Everyone I know takes them.
SALLY
Says here she was hospitalized for an allergic reaction to antibiotics. She probably over-dosed on drugs and they're just saying that to cover up
FLO
Arthur over-dosed on water pills. Couldn't stop peeing. Hadda go to the doctor. I told him, 'Arthur! Just put in a plug.' He didn't like my suggestion. Good. We're next in line
SALLY
Such a good girl, she was. Wonder what makes a girl like her suddenly do all that sexy stuff?
FLO
M-o-n-e-y!
SALLY
Her dad was Billy Ray Cyrus. Remember him? Achy-breaky heart guy?
FLO
They play that when we do line dancing at the Seniors Center. Lots of steps to remember but nobody cares when someone forgets, unless of course they trip somebody. Last week Sam forgot what direction he was supposed to go and Phyllis ended up with a sprained ankle.
SALLY
Oh well...hope Miley sees the light and gets normal again...
(replaces magazine back on stand)
FLO
Aren't you gonna buy the magazine?
SALLY
Neh. I finished it waiting to pay for our stuff. Poor Miley...
FLO
Whatever...
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