SCENES FROM LIFE: A SHORT PLAYETTE



AT THE HAIRDRESSER PART 4



SCENE: A SMALL HAIR SALON. FEMALE CLIENT (FC) ENTERS, GOES TO THE BACK OF SALON WHERE HAIR STYLIST, PEGGY, IS WASHING HAIR



FEMALE CLIENT (FC)
I know I’m early. See you’re busy there...

HAIR STYLIST
I’ll be ready for you in fifteen minutes

FC
Should I waste some time next door at the pharmacy?

HAIR STYLIST
Why - you need something?

FC
My cosmetic collection always needs refreshing. Maybe a new lipstick...

HAIR STYLIST
Okay. Be back in ten minutes

FC
I’ll be back before then. If I hang around there too long, the store clerks start looking at me funny

(starts to leave – stops to greet MARY, another hair stylist)

‘Hi Mary! How y’a doin’?’

MARY

(blowing a client’s hair dry)

Hot! That’s how I’m doing! The friggin' air conditioner isn’t working! Must be a hundred degrees, probably more, in here!

FC
Sorry I asked...

(FC leaves and upon returning, sits on couch)

(cont’d. FM1)
God is it hot outside!

MARY
Damned right and the damned air conditioner is as useless as tits on a bull!

FC
I get the picture. Since you so eloquently brought it to my attention, how come it’s so hot in here? It’s usually freezing

MARY
Like I said...

FC
...because ‘the friggin' air conditioner isn’t working!’ Has the boss called somebody to fix it?

MARY
Are you kidding? That would cost money! Shit! Look at me! I’m dripping wet!

PEGGY
Ohmygawd. Mary – you’re even sweating through your pants! Gross! And in the wrong place, too!

MARY
Oh gee thanks! Maybe I should just do hair in my underwear!

PETER (another hair stylist)
Don't encourage her! She will!

PETER'S CUSTOMER
That would be interesting!

FC
It’s like there’s no oxygen in the air. Really hot in here

PETER
We’ve got it at number six – that’s the highest. The system needs cleaning

FC
So why doesn’t your boss have it cleaned

PETER
Because it cost money!

FC
But in the end, it’ll cost him more money if he doesn’t maintain the system!

PETER
You know that, and I know that, but he’s too cheap!

MARY
Shit! I can’t take this heatttttt! Put down the temperature some more

PETER
If I do that – the whole system will break down. Would that be better?

PEGGY
It’s the hair dryers. They make it hot, too. Then the door opening and closing...

FC
It’s not really that bad...I mean, it’s bearable

PEGGY
Wait ‘til you have a towel and plastic poncho around your neck for a while!

MARY
Somebody do something before I scream!

(goes to small fridge and grabs bottle of cold water and gulps it down)

PEGGY
Okay – I’m leaving you my curling iron while I’m away on vacation. What else do you need?

MARY
Cold friggin' air!

PC
(laughing)
Mary does have a way with words, doesn't she!

PEGGY
I mean, aside from that? Any other equipment you want to borrow?

MARY
How long you going for?

PEGGY
You know how long - two whole weeks! Can’t wait!

MARY
Maybe you should re-consider. You never know - when you come back, we might not have a boss anymore if somebody doesn’t cool this place down!

(softly to Peggy and FC) ‘Oh look who’s here. Mr. Big Bucks himself!’

(salon boss strolls in)

SALON BOSS
(laughing)
So? Hot enough for everyone?

(to be continued...next time: Mary offers her boss some advice)