THE LINE UP
by Eleanor Tylbor

SCENE: A SUPERMARKET. A LINE UP OF A DOZEN PEOPLE IN THE 8-ITEMS-OR-LESS ARE WAITING TO PAY FOR THEIR ITEMS. THE PERSON IN FRONT OF THE LINE IS COUNTING HER/HIS ITEMS WITH HIS FINGER



CASHIER
You have more than eight items, lady

WOMAN IN LINE
I know...it's only ten items...what's two items between friends, anyway?

CASHIER
(pointing to the sign indicating 8 items or less)
Ask the people behind you if it matters

(woman turns around and speaks to person directly behind her)

WOMAN IN LINE
Do you mind if I have two extra items? I'm in a rush

PERSON BEHIND WOMAN IN LINE
Actually...yes, I do mind! We're all in a rush. Aren't we, people?

(person behind woman in line turns around to address others in line)

PEOPLE IN LINE:
'I hav'ta get home and make supper for my family!'

'The babysitter is waiting to get paid!'

'You got some nerve, lady!'

CASHIER
See? They mind alright! Now if you'll go to one of the other lines...

WOMAN IN LINE
But... Okay. What if I remove say...one item?

CASHIER
That would make nine items. You'd still have one item too much. Please step aside...

PEOPLE IN LINE
Yeah - move out the line, lady!

WOMAN IN LINE
You are all so selfish. It's only one item for crying out loud!

CASHIER
Rules are rules! What kind of world would we have if we didn't obey rules, huh? Now if you'll move to another line

WOMAN IN LINE
(looking over items in cart)
Oh fer... Okay...let me take another item away...I need them all, though...

CASHIER
Would you like me to do it for you? Look lady - the line is getting longer as we speak...

WOMAN IN LINE
Maybe the ice cream... No - I need it for dessert...perhaps the asparagus spears...no - veggies are important...It's so hard to decide...

PERSON IN LINE
Here - lemme help (removes bottle of soft drink) There - that wasn't so hard!

WOMAN IN LINE
But what are we supposed to drink with our meal?

PERSON IN LINE
Good, old H2O! Look at that! I saved you money, too! You should thank me!

WOMAN IN LINE
I've made my decision! Give me back two items!

CASHIER
Like I told you -

WOMAN IN LINE
- yeah - I know. Eight items or less. Fine. I'm moving over to the other line where I'm legal.
(She move over to next line. Aside to person in front of her:) 'Excuse me madam but I'm running late. Would you mind if I just went in front of you? I'm running a little late.'